The morning of the crash came back to me with a squeeze in my chest. I had put my phone in my pocket and never turned it off. I guess I was too anxious to really hear the announcement to shut them off before takeoff. But what I couldn't understand was how it still worked!
That wasn't something I was willing to ponder over at the moment. Mr. Rush's eyes grew and flashed down to my black shorts. I let out a gasp as I retrieved the device and saw it worked. The beeping noise was a warning. My phone was close to dying and needed charging.
"Call somebody!" he practically yelled.
Who could I call? I couldn't even think! I felt the phone being snatched from my fingers. His own flew over the buttons, dialing with rapid speed and determination. His eyes were bright with excitement when he put the phone to his ear. There was such hope reclaimed at that moment that we both thought was nearly lost before.
He pulled it away and looked at the screen after a minute. The hope dimmed as he saw that there was no service. He didn't – and couldn't afford to – care, though. There was so much determination in his face to reach somebody. Stretching his arm into the air, he held the phone up to get a signal as he slowly walked in circles.
It turned into a long process those few minutes. Of our hopes rising and falling with every movement he made. It was torture when we knew that phone would die any second. That's why he didn't waste time when we had no service in that area. He moved with purpose towards the waterfall.
I followed behind him as he took swift steps, going up the bank of rocks by the falling and rushing water. The man decided to move cautiously up those rocks on the side of the hill. He moved parallel but in the opposite direction of the gushing waterfall. Mr. Rush stopped every few seconds, bringing his outstretched hand down to check the screen. That was until his features changed when he stared at the phone's screen the next time he did that.
"Did you get a signal?" I asked loudly up to him over the slight roar of the falls.
He looked the few yards down to where I was. "It's ringing!" A bright smile grew on his face. It was such a relieving sight... only to be taken away.
His expression was that of a child on Christmas morning, only to be instantly crushed. Every color and emotion were drained from his features as he rapidly moved his hand away from his ear, staring at the phone.
I knew it wasn't dead yet. He suddenly moved back down the rocks. The man's eyes continued darting to the screen as he climbed down, except he was more frantic and less cautious. He needed that signal, and his conclusion was he needed to try a different spot.
Reaching the bottom, he staggered back around to where we were before. He kept going until he reached the split in the lake that started a flowing river down to the ocean. He stepped into the shallow water there, walking to the center of the creek and stood, ankle deep. There was no need for him to wait long this time. The expression on his face looked insane when he pulled the phone back down to his ear and waited. "I have service again," he said to me.
I studied the small stream, the sun hitting the water and making it shimmer under the rays. And in the shadows along the banks, there were overgrown tree branches and vines that spilled out over the water. Shades of red, brown, and green of the stones glowed from under the wet surface. In the middle of it all... was a desperate and worrying man.
I stepped from the bank and walked out to him, my feet hitting those small colorful rocks as the current washed past me. I reached the middle and stood next to him as he still held the phone to his ear. I leaned into him, putting my ear as close as I could to hear the slight ring. It seemed to go on forever and with still no answer.
Then, it stopped. But there was no answer on the other end. Mr. Rush seemed to realize this and slowly pulled the phone away from his ear, fearing what he would see on the screen. It was my fear too — and it came true. Nothing glowed on the screen of my phone. It was dead.
He stalked back to the bank, not giving me the chance to see his expression. Staring at his back as I followed behind him back up the bank, I could see the tension in his body as he moved. Not to mention the air around him completely changed. This damaged him, and I saw the extent of that damage when we were both back on the bank.
He swiftly turned to me, surprising me with his sudden movement. The moment he did that, though, I could see it plain on his face. I realized that throughout all of this, he was hiding his fear, his sadness, and worry. He played the tough guy this whole time, but I saw that was just another mask of his. He was terrified of our future and who might be alive and dead in it. Neither of us really wanted to acknowledge the future or the reality of the situation.
However, the reality was that there wasn't much of a chance of escaping this place. Even with the chance of our message on the beach being seen, it didn't help. Who would look closely enough to see that? Who would actually be able to see that in the first place? I think this whole time, Mr. Rush knew that was a hope that couldn't be relied on. And when what seemed to be a miracle came – my phone – he couldn't hide how worried he was. He lost his hope and faith about leaving here when that phone died. I could see it. Now, he gave me the chance to hear it when he turned to face me.
"How could you be so selfish?" he hissed at me, catching me off guard. "Why would you do this to me?" His voice picked up enough to be classified as yelling. His eyes though with that tone... it was begging.
"W-What?" I gaped at him. How was I the cause?
"You knew you had that phone. We could have been out of here. But you just let it sit in your pocket, for over a day, waiting for it to die."
"Why would I do that?" I asked, outraged.
"You don't want to leave this place! I know you don't. You would rather stay here than face your shitty life back home!"
"You think I would do that to you?! I wouldn't drag you down with me, leaving you stranded with me no matter what I want. No matter if I hate my life and want to stay here because I know you have a life worth living!" My words were automatic; I meant everything I said. Including wanting to stay here. Because though I was scared, I had to admit to myself that this was better than home. However, I would never condemn him here with me.
He shook his head as if he didn't hear a word I said. "Your life is that screwed up that you would want to stay here, struggling to live. The pathetic thing is you can't be the only one here. You need someone to leech off of just so you aren't alone and scared. You are so desperate and selfish that you would have me rot here with you. You would take down my chance to go home to my family."
That was it. No matter how weak I felt here, I would not drag him down. I would never intentionally keep him here if there was a chance he could get out. And for him to think that I was heartless enough to do that... it sent me over.
I wound my arm back, balled it up, and swung with all my weight put into it. I punched his face without another thought. I didn't think it through, but it felt good to have my hand collide with his jaw. It made him stagger back, surprised by the power I put behind it. I felt the need to shake my hand with how much it stung. I have punched before; punched my dad once and learned that would be the last time I did that. This was different. He didn't hold power over me.
He looked stunned. Waiting to see what else crossed his face wasn't an option. I sprinted off after that, grabbing my shirt that was still on the ground as I went. I ran into the woods with a scowl on my face. I didn't want to deal with him, and that was that. I don't know why he affected me so much, but he did. He knew how to get under my skin. Accusing me and disrespecting me like that was something I wasn't going to take.
At first, I thought I heard him following behind me, but I was faster and soon lost him if that was the case. I kept going and drove all my anger out through my feet as I picked up and went faster. I flew through the trees without a thought and soon, I knew I was far away from him. When I couldn't run anymore, I could feel that I exhausted that anger, making it fade away.
I stopped, breathing hard and quick, sweat spilling over me at this point. I considered pulling my shirt back on but decided against it for that reason. The trees gave me a little shade but that didn't stop me from sweating like a pig.
Standing there for a moment, I caught my breath. My mind wandered back to Mr. Rush. I could see how he might think I hid the phone from him, waiting for it to die. Because, really, how could I have not remembered my phone during all this? Even more, how could I not feel it in my pocket? I mean, my back was a lot of the distraction and so was everything else we had to go through. But the whole time, I wore these black shorts, not changing them like I did the shirts for my back. I honestly forgot about it.
Forgot about it. Man... it really was pathetic considering it could have saved both our lives. Forgetting wasn't a good enough excuse. I didn't want to go home but I would if it meant saving Mr. Rush from this fate too. He had a woman waiting to marry him, he had a future with her. A future no doubt with kids and a good life. I might have just taken away all of that from him.
I felt sick for more than one reason now and regretted my actions. This was only our second day here. It was foolish to run. It put both of us more and more at risk and now, I had to go back. Not because I needed him but because he didn't deserve that.
But I stopped myself. He didn't deserve my actions towards him, but he didn't deserve me tagging along like a little, lost puppy. That's what he even said. That I was a leech that would use him. Was he right? This whole time, he was concerned about me and my health. I was dragging him down without thinking. He mended my back, lost time because of it, and lost more time since I was too caught up in my feelings for that dead woman. He took care of me this far, but he had himself to take care of too. It was hard for him out here, and I wasn't helping.
So, I should stay away. Survive on my own and if I couldn't, then so be it. One of us had a proper future if we were to return. We both knew that wasn't me. I won't give up, and I will try my best, but I am not taking the risk of holding him back.
I marched ahead, making sure I switched my direction so he would have a hard time finding me because I knew he would look for me. It made me feel bad but in the long run, it was better this way. When he gives up looking, he will be okay. I won't be there to drag him down.
So now... I walked. Walked further away from him and hopefully towards a water source. I walked for what felt like days. Maybe because of the weather or maybe because I was now alone. Either way, what I did know for sure, was that I walked until I could see the high sun move lower in the sky, coloring it orange and pink.
I was looking for any reason I could come up with to just stop. To stop moving in a seemingly limitless line. I just didn't and couldn't yet. I needed to find water (I figure I was far enough away from him by now). However, the one thing that allowed me a popper excuse to stop walking was something I really was not looking forward to facing.
"Damn it," I muttered to myself, my jaw clenching. I came to a stop finally after walking for so long. That didn't relieve me, though; there was more that was making me feel unpleasant. This was something inevitable that I would have to handle and get used to. But God, it was disgusting to think about.
And it was disgusting when I actually did it a few moments later. I already handled urinating; that wasn't too bad. All I needed was privacy and some leaves. Taking a shit, though... yeah, that was much worse. It involved finding a sharp stick to dig a hole and more leaves. My biggest issue was just the fact that I had to do this out in the woods. Even with nobody around, I still felt exposed in a way. It was just something I was going to have to get use to out here.
After cleaning up, I was on the move again for a little while longer. I wasn't looking forward to it either. I was sick of walking. So tired of it and sore... I had an excuse to complain, though. I ended up walking until the sun was too low in the sky to keep going.
I didn't feel safe anywhere and knew it would be a rough time falling asleep tonight. The cool air swept through, and I tugged my shirt on. It was colder than the night before, which didn't help matters. I eventually just settled on the forest floor and having nothing to cover me with, curled up against a tree.
I kept telling myself I would be okay until morning. That no crazed killer would come out and slash my throat. There would be no bear that would come along and eat me. But really, I was still scared. Closing my eyes, I tried hard to stay strong.
Darkness closed around me, and I tried my hardest to fall asleep. It was tough considering I was hearing a lot of rustling around in the forest. I knew it was the same as the night before, the same noises. I was just being paranoid now that I was alone.
Somehow, I did fall asleep that night. It was a nice escape from the cold and the reality of what was happening. However, it was a short-lived escape.
I woke to the sound of twigs and sticks snapping a few feet away in the dark. I froze, terrified at how loud it was. It wasn't just sticks snapping, though. Leaves stirred too. I knew this was my mind playing simple tricks. This was my first night alone so I was scared. That was simple enough and most likely true.
I tried falling back to sleep, but couldn't. My breath was coming fast, and my mind was spinning. An animal? Was it Mr. Rush? My imagination? The latter spun things in my head out of control. Because after another faceless noise came from my left, it sent me running.
It was quite stupid for the fact that I was running blind. There was no sign of the sun rising, but I was still able to make out the outline of trees that rushed at me as I weaved through them. My bare feet hit the damp and cool ground; the night air didn't help. I started to get warmer as I kept running, not sure where or which direction I was heading.
I was too panicked to slow down so I was left stunned when I hit the ground face first. I realized my foot caught on a root that was arched out of the Earth's soil. I laid there, cold and scared. All I wanted was to be with Mr. Rush and the fire he promised we would have this night. No, I had to lose my temper, punch the dude, and run. I was happy I made myself get lost and not remember my way back to him, though. I knew I would be running back to him right now, and that was the last thing he needed. He didn't need me.
My head pounded after the aftershock of the impact. I was stunned and could do nothing but stay that way. I listened to my surroundings and concluded it was my imagination. Now that I was fully aware and awake, I heard nothing. I let my breathing even out, the heat of my breath colliding with the freezing air. I turned slowly to my side and clasped my hands over my mouth, keeping my hot air close to my body so the selfish, cold night couldn't claim it. I was surprised I was able to fall asleep that way, but I wouldn't complain. I welcomed the feeling of drifting into oblivion.
The sun was high in the sky and from its position, and if I had to guess, it was the middle of the afternoon. My position, however, was the same as it was from where I fell. My stomach rested in the dirt and long grass. Near where my foot rested, I spotted the root I tripped over last night. I rolled to my back and moaned from the pressure it put on my cut and the soreness of my stomach.
As the events from yesterday came back to me, I pushed them away. Only they obviously wanted to come back. I heard shouting coming from the distance. I rose and looked around, curious and amazed. Were Mr. Rush and I not the only people here? I saw nothing until I heard the voice again, this time, closer.
"Janice!" It was the voice of Mr. Rush. And it was close. I made my move and sprinted off and forward, just wanting to get away from him again. I knew he would keep looking. He was persistent. It reminded me of the way he used to always push me to do my work in school and listen.
I bounded through the trees, running from him. Of course, out of the corner of my eye, I saw him. He whipped into my vision from the side, running at me as I ran forward. He was faster and tackled me to the ground, making me land on my stomach again.
"Man, that hurt! My stomach is already sore!"
"Shut up!" he snapped, hauling me to my feet. He held me, his hands gripping my arms tightly. I also saw he was slightly shaking. "What is wrong with you?! Do you like causing me trouble and setting us back?"
I stared at him, shocked. That was what I was trying to stop from happening. "What is wrong with you?!" I spit back. "I was doing you a favor. It's your own fault. You shouldn't have come after me. You should have given yourself a chance! I saw your face, sir. Saw the fear and desperation when that phone died. This is serious, and I am dragging you down because of it."
He stared at me as if I were crazy. Then he finally spoke after composing his face. "Don't call me sir."
"What?" Did he hear what I just said?
"You called me sir. I don't like it."
"Didn't you just hear me? Sir."
"Yeah and I think it was idiotic what you did. You weren't dragging me down. You are now though since you ran off."
"It's worth this setback. I don't want to be around later to drag you down like I have this whole time. I could barely walk at times, and it slowed you down. I don't need someone taking care of me."
"I know that, but it's necessary sometimes when you don't have a choice. You suck it up and deal with it. And you realize you are strong despite needing help." A scowl on his face grew as he stood there for a few moments, thinking. Then his eyes aimed down to mine again. "I don't know how to get back to the lake. I guess, you don't either."
Couldn't I do anything right? His words made me internally groan. I left to keep him safe. I knew he would risk it for some personal rule he had about taking care of me. I didn't think he would lose track of where he was, though. "No," I mumbled. "This time, though, it is your fault. You would be sitting by the lake right now if you didn't come looking for me."
"Is it my fault I might care about you?"
His words triggered my eyebrows to raise. I had nothing to say to that surprisingly. He must care for me like one would for family. It gave me a warm feeling to know I mattered to him like that. I finally found my voice.
"You have a future and staying with me is risking your life even more."
"I can make my own choices. And you sound ridiculous, thinking you have that much of an impact on me. I don't regard you as someone who will keep me down. I am stronger than you might think, Miss Reeves."
I sighed. Those words shouldn't have hurt either but the way he phrased it... it shut me up.
He saw something on my face that made him speak again. "I am sorry about the phone dying. I know you didn't mean to forget about it. I just... I don't know." He looked away, letting my arms go, trusting I wouldn't run. I wouldn't; not after those words.
"You got your hopes up. You were desperate and afraid. You were hiding it from me. I might seem weak and, yes, I can be at times. But don't think for a minute I can't handle the reality and truth. You know we probably won't get out of here. You see we can die if we aren't careful."
He stared at me with attentive eyes searching mine. "I'm sorry. I—"
I put my hand up, stopping him. "Whatever, okay? Let's just drop it."
We stood there awkwardly until he sighed and said, "We need to find that lake again. We are far from it, and it's all we know."
"We?" I asked, smirking.
"You are coming with me, and there is no fighting it. If you don't want to cause me trouble, if that is really what you're worried about, then we are staying together. Now, we need to find the lake. Fast too, if you get what I mean."
I did understand what he meant. How many days did we have until we would have to drink our urine? We needed fresh water. It didn't help that this island was big enough to get us even more lost.
I nodded. "We should get moving."
From the direction I was heading, we turned around and started back towards the lake. Or towards the direction we figured the lake would be. Not a few minutes later, though, Mr. Rush, who was walking beside me, went down on his stomach in a flash. I looked down after stopping and laughed. "That root really hates us," I said. "You're lying on my bed from last night."
He chuckled as he got to his feet, brushing the dirt off his stomach. "I assume this happened to you then?"
I rolled my eyes, but he must have seen the little smile on my face. We pressed on through the forest, a comfortable silence falling. I felt awful still. If I didn't run before, we would be at the lake. Which we probably won't find today. How much longer did we have until we became too weak? Too thirsty and hungry? I wasn't sure and even though I felt the guilt eating me, I was happy Mr. Rush was back with me.