The weekend goes by unexpectedly slow. Not that I mind at all. It gives me a bit longer to get over the whole Trevor episode. The more I think about him and what he said, the more confused I get. Did he not message me a few days ago to reassure me that he did not hate me? But then the next moment he's confessing to his roommate, in the privacy of his apartment, that he 'kinda hates me'. Guys complain about girls being confusing, but this scenario has 'confusing' written all over it, and it's ticking me off.
I feel like I've been pretty understanding when it comes to Trevor's feelings. Yes, I screwed up. Big Time. But it's not like I was rubbing insults into his face all day in high school. I get that he's being the protective brother, but he's acting as if I scorned him personally. The other thing I can't figure out is, if he was such an overly protective brother, why didn't he ever confront me about it? He could have cornered me in the school hallway and demanded that I put an end to it or he'd put an end to me. Maybe not that dramatic. I'm just saying, where was he the whole time that I picked on his precious little sister? Instead of standing up for her, he chose to completely ignore it.
I rub a hand through my hair in frustration, causing strands of curls to stick out in strange places. I've been doing a bit of grocery shopping since the school food doesn't rate very highly, and I'm desperately needing to restock my mid-morning, mid-afternoon, evening, and midnight snack supply. Sadly, this moment right here has been the highlight of my week.
My roommate has made herself scarce, and Chuck and Lindsey were visiting their parents for the weekend. Next weekend I'm inviting myself along if they decide to ditch me again. I refuse to be cooped up in my dorm another moment when every person I know on campus is missing. Well, except for Trevor. I'd hang with Mike but, other than jumping off cliffs together at the lake, I don't really know him.
Secretly, I'm dying to see Trevor. I want him to grovel at my feet, and wash my toes with his tears. I want him to beg for forgiveness until his throat bleeds and then confess his love for me, all in one breath. And then we could finally conclude this story with a happily ever after. Unfortunately, this is real life, and in real life, those endings rarely exist.
Pushing my cart through the cookie aisle, I snag a packet of Oreo's from the shelf and finish off my shopping spree with a box of Skittles. Literally, a box. Not just one packet, but the box full of little baggies. Yeah, I bought that. I've got a weakness for those round, little balls of tropical goodness that send my tongue on a holiday.
When I finally arrive back at my eerily quiet dorm room, I stuff all my goodies in my secret hiding place under the bed. I'm aware that it's not a secret because last week my heaping supply of Sour Patch vanished in a night. I'm not too concerned, though, because I just so happened to have found Mercy's secret stash of Starburst, popcorn, and Twizzlers. I have enjoyed all three.
I've finally decided that I need someone to talk to, so I reach over to my bedside where my phone is so that I can call my mom. I search underneath the magazine and in the drawer, but my phone isn't there. I pull my blankets away from my bed and crawl all over the thing using my hands like a metal detector, but I find nothing. My phone is missing. I guess this would explain why Lindsey couldn't reach me the other day. In the back of my mind, I wonder if Trevor has actually attempted to get a hold of me. With this thought, a fragment of my anger vaporizes.
Throwing myself onto my messy bed and placing my feet against the wall I go to work thinking. I retrace all my steps, trying to discover where my phone is, without actually having to move my lazy butt out of bed. Grocery shopping literally drains the life from my bones. My heart slows down, and my skin sags. It's not enjoyable in any way.
My mind begins to buzz with random thoughts as the mental search for my phone is forgotten. Eventually, my brain can't handle the action any longer and slowly turns off like a dying Energizer bunny. My eyes drift downward, and within minutes I've escaped reality and ventured into the land of unicorns, rainbows, and a pocket-sized Trevor. That last one probably stemmed from watching 'Honey, I Blew Up the Kid' last night.
-----
I purposely arrive to psychology class earlier than normal on Monday, hoping to avoid sitting next to Trevor. I'd heard rumor from one of the earlier psychology classes that our partner projects are being put on hold. This could not have had better timing.
I scan my seating options and spot Lightning waving at me from the middle far left side of the room. A smile instantly graces my lips, and I march my way over to him.
"Light!" I bellow obnoxiously.
"Ems!" he bellows right back.
I drop myself into the seat beside his and turn to face him. I offer a warm smile, which he returns eagerly.
"So, how was your weekend?" he asks, like a father interrogating his teenage daughter.
"Bleh," I say, turning to face the front of the class. "You?"
"Faaabuloooous." He actually sings the word, gaining the attention of the few students seated around us. He doesn't notice as he goes into details. "I went to a Miike Snow concert, and it was OFF THE WALL awesome!"
And then he proceeds to give me a sneak peek of his experience by belting out their lyrics. "I change shapes just to hide in this place, But I'm still, I'm still an animal. Nobody knows it but me when I slip. Yeah, I slip. I'm still an animal!!!!!"
"Shut up man!" someone across the room yells. Apparently, he's not a morning person.
Lightning just starts laughing as he continues to sing, holding out the word 'animal' just a bit longer than necessary just to peeve off the grouch across the room.
"Sounds like you had fun," I laugh as he takes a small bow without actually getting out of his seat. "Other than that, how've you been? Haven't seen you since like... the first day of school," I remind him.
He gives me an odd, pondering look before responding.
"Have we really only met once?" He scratches the side of his head, but before I can respond the teacher enters the room, gaining our attention.
As I turn forward I notice that Trevor is already seated a few seats over from me. We make eye contact, and I offer him a tame smile. I can see the relief in the quick grin that he returns. And then he tears his gaze away from me just as quickly, giving me the impression that he's irritated about something. My eyebrows crease in confusion, uncertain why he would be angry with me when it should be the other way around.
"Today we're going to take a small break from our partners—" Ms. Garrison is cut off by a couple groans and a few cheers around the room, but she doesn't let it phase her as she continues on, "to do a bit of research on dreams. According to Freud, dreams are the 'royal road to the unconscious'. Some people believe that dreams have certain fixed meanings, that your dreams symbolize something bigger. Others believe that it's just your brain cleaning itself out during the sleep process." She pauses to grab a stack of papers from her desk to pass them out.
"Today," she proceeds on, "we're going to go into a bit of detail on different beliefs about dreams. Outside of class, and for the next week, I'd like you to record your dreams. You'll want to record them as soon as you wake up so you can recall the most detail possible. After this week, you'll return to your partners so you can work on deciphering the dreams together."
The class went by quickly as she discussed dream interpretation, what causes dreams, how we put our dreams into words, and so on. I scribbled notes down, absorbing each word. I'm already looking forward to going to bed tonight just so I can dream.
-----
My heart beats wildly in my chest, matching the rhythm of my pounding feet. I can glimpse the water sparkling between the gaps in the trees as they widen the closer I get to the edge. My red robe billows behind me, getting tangled between my legs. I'm not wearing shoes but the rocks and twigs beneath my feet go unnoticed. My breaths are easily pulled from my lungs to merge with the wind fanning past me and tangling in my hair.
I finally reach the edge of the water and I stand panting as I search the glassy surface. There is no movement for several heartbeats while I wait. Somehow, I know exactly what I'm waiting for, while at the same time not having any idea. The life inside of me swirls with emotions that match the warm breeze blowing over the water. My chest feels full, each inhale bringing more awareness to the sensations flowing beneath my skin.
Suddenly, the reason for my desperation appears. I see the water rippling and within seconds his head surfaces. He emerges from the depths of the lake with fluid motion. He runs a hand through his slick hair, creating a disheveled, dripping masterpiece. I stare in awe as water droplets slide down his face and neck, slipping underneath his shirt, only to emerge from his sleeves and continue the journey down his arms in sluggish rivulets. His eyes lock with mine as he closes the distance between us. Warmth slithers through my core as ice shoots through my veins.
He's standing directly in front of me, his lips glistening with moisture. I'm not ashamed as I stare at each feature of his face. His green eyes trigger a riotous eruption in my stomach. The riot births into a full on war as all anxiety slips through my grasp, and I am left with a sense of pure determination and courage. I close the gap between us, noticing the heat blazing behind the green windows of his soul. He matches my steps until we're so close that our heat fuses us together.
"I've wanted this for so long," he whispers, passion tightening his words.
I respond by grazing my lips across his. He pulls back, shock evident in his expression as his gaze flickers playfully between my eyes and lips, and then, in one swift motion, his lips are claiming mine in an undeniable dance of ecstasy.
I can feel myself inviting him to deepen the kiss but he pulls back slightly. In another swarm of courage, I pull him close again as I trail wet kisses against his throbbing pulse. Something animalistic and raspy vibrates through him, tingling my lips.
We don't notice the wind picking up speed as our lips continue to dance. Within seconds the breeze has escalated into a whirlwind of chaos. We are abruptly thrown apart as the heavy winds attack. The waters around us rage in violence. I scream for him but the wind throws my words the opposite direction. He's still watching me, completely oblivious to the cyclone enveloping us.
Abruptly, his feet are ripped from underneath him. The vigorous winds pull him backward with fingers of steel, and I watch helplessly as it drags him into the rabid belly of the lake. Suddenly, everything explodes into an eerie silence, and the only sound echoing across the glassy lake is the roar of terror ripping through my swollen lips.
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