Hey!
Long time no see, so I’m not sure if you need a small recap of everything that happened so far in Mountain River Girl, if not, you can skip this part and just start reading this chapter. I won’t blame you if you need this little recap though, because I know that it has been a really – REALLY – long time since I last uploaded anything for Mountain River Girl. I’m very sorry for the long wait, and I hope to make it up to you by uploading a rather lengthy chapter and a promise that I’ll do my best to give you more regular uploads.
So, here goes…
In the beginning of the story, Seda and Kieran meet. He was a complete stranger to her, but hinted that he knew things about her that even she didn’t know – who her parents were, to give you an example. Seda starts searching for clues at home, and one day, follows her adoptive parents to one of their mystery meetings. She overhears a group of people discuss her fate, as if she’s nothing more than an object without feelings, something you can toss away when it’s no longer of use to you. Shocked at the news that they want to send her off to some stranger who might want to kill her, Seda runs away. Lost in the turmoil of her thoughts and emotions, she ends up hurt after a hit and run, whereupon Kieran finds her and takes her to his home. There, Seda finally meets her biological father, learns her mother died shortly after giving birth to Seda. Because she feels as if her presence might endanger Kieran’s family, and her real dad, Seda decides to sneak off into the night. She doesn’t want to burden them with her problems. However, even after the awkwardness that followed their kiss, Kieran finds Seda. They receive word that Trudy wants to speak to Seda, so they return to Don’s place to hear what Trudy has to say. The last chapter ended when Trudy learns that Seda already knows about the lies.
Oh, and maybe I should also use this opportunity to refresh your memory on who the characters are in this chapter. I hope you remember Seda Evers (formerly Winston) and Kieran Whyte. Then there’s Donovan ‘Don’ Evers, he is Seda’s biological father. Eric Whyte is the brother of Kieran’s father Alex Whyte,which makes him Kieran’s uncle. In this chapter, you’ll also find Jonathan Sawyer and Maverick Sawyer, two loyal friends to Don and Alex, and most of the times they’re referred to as “The Twins”. Of course Trudy Winston is present as well. She is the adoptive mother of Seda and is married to Jackson Winston.
Happy reading!
- Vicky
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WORLD OF MAKE BELIEVE
“Why? Why did you lie to me?” My voice wavered, giving away the hurt caused by Trudy’s betrayal. “All those years… you lied to me. You told me you didn’t know. I trusted you, and still you lied!”
“Seda, I didn’t mean to. You have to –“
Caught up in my emotions, I let go of Kieran and moved a step closer to Trudy.
“You made me call you Mom and Dad, while all along, you knew very well where my real parents were. How could you? Did you really hate me so much that you felt it justified to lie to me like that? Everything has…” I had trouble focusing on the words I wanted to say when a dizzy spell caught me out of nowhere. I blinked several times, hoping for it to pass quickly – which it did. The dizziness disappeared as soon as it had come.
Hoping that no one picked up on my hesitation, I picked up where I left off. “The things I overheard at The Hall… Everything has been a lie! My entire life has been nothing but –“
The words on my lips died once again when another wave of dizziness hit me. This one was worse than the previous one. As the room spun, I swayed on my feet and I was pretty certain I would topple over. However, as I braced myself to experience the floor tiles from up close, Don’s strong grip on my shoulder prevented that from happening.
“Are you okay?” Kieran asked worriedly from my left while Donovan held me upright. I wanted to tell them I was fine, that they shouldn’t worry, but my head refused to cooperate.
Distantly, I heard the rumble of more voices, but it was Trudy’s that stood out the most. “Get her some water!”
Donovan eyed me intently before he repeated Trudy’s words, but more urgently.
Without a heads up, he swooped me up in his arms and carried me out of the kitchen.
“Fine… I’m fine.” I muttered as much to myself as to anyone else who wanted to hear it.
“You will be, Sweetheart.”
The way the word sweetheart rolled so easily off Donovan’s lips, as though he had done so incessantly for many years, made me smile. His fatherly love and concern touched me deeply. The caring smile he gave me in return felt blissfully natural and caused my chest to ache – the good kind of ache.
Acting with such gentleness as if he could break me, Don lowered me onto a sofa. He slipped a cushion under my head, covered me with a blanket, and was about to reach for another one when I stopped him.
“I’m good. Thank you.”
“Are you sure? I mean, I can get you one of the better pillows from upstairs.”
I smiled at the way he went above and beyond to make me comfortable, especially since I finally felt like the room had come to a standstill. “Yes, I’m sure. In fact –“
“Here’s the water,” Kieran’s voice filled the room. He placed the moist glass on the coffee table and crouched down beside me. Concern was written all over his face as he took my hand in his. “Are you feeling any better?”
I nodded. “I think it has passed already. I was only a little lightheaded. Blame it on the past twenty-four exhausting hours, if you want.”
“Oh crap,” Kieran made a face. “I should have gotten you something to eat before we came here.”
“When’s the last time you ate?” Don asked.
“I don’t know,” I trailed while trying to remember.
I had left before dawn that morning, without breakfast. The previous day, I hadn’t bothered going downstairs for dinner. Before I had a chance to answer Don, spoke.
“That says enough. Let’s see if I can find you something edible, then. Have you had anything to eat yet?” He directed that last part to Kieran, who shook his head no and was about to decline when Don sent him a glare.
“That’s settled then,” Don announced dismissively while heading for the kitchen. He paused at the door. “And Kieran, keep an eye on her.”
After Don left the room, it was only Kieran and me. For a short moment, I was able to take in the silence and enjoy the ability to relax. Lying on that couch, I relished the simplicity of the moment. I allowed myself to feel like the situation at hand was no more than that of a mundane girl in her father’s house. She didn’t have to deal with a secretive adoptive family, nor did the thought of real friends and family having the ability to switch between species trouble her mind. This girl, on the couch, didn’t have a worry in the world.
I didn’t have to open my eyelids to know Kieran was about to burst my blissful bubble. The rustle of fabric and the intake of breath gave him away.
Not giving him a chance to ruin my little moment, I lifted a finger to my lips. The content smile that mirrored my mental peace spoke for itself – Kieran didn’t utter a word. Instead, he caused my bones to tingle by moving a strand of hair from my cheeks. The gesture was brief, but didn’t leave me unbothered. His knuckles had barely grazed my skin, yet, the featherlike brush was all it took to spread a ripple of pleasure through my body, all the way down to the tips of my toes.
Kieran got comfortable on the floor – leaning back against the couch, he positioned himself by my side. We didn’t speak or move for what seemed like a reasonably long time, and I couldn’t have wished for anything better at that moment. This small taste of peace and silence was all I needed, and I was grateful Kieran agreed to savor the moment.
A soft tap on the doorframe had me open my eyes. Kieran’s Uncle Eric stood in the doorway.
“Is it okay if she comes in? After what happened in the kitchen, Don would rather see her leave, but I’ll be damned if she isn’t a stubborn one.” No postponing the inevitable, I thought to myself. It was time to face reality, so I nodded my okay and watched Eric disappear from view.
Next to me, Kieran sat up a little straighter before meeting my eyes. “I thought you might have fallen asleep.” Kieran covered his mouth as he yawned loudly. “I sure seem to have blanked out for a minute or two,” he smiled drowsily while running a hand through his hair. “A couple of times.”
I returned the smile as I stretched my arms above me. “Even though I could’ve slept, I didn’t. Instead, I enjoyed the feel of a worriless mind.”
We didn’t get a chance to say anything else, because Don walked in the room, carrying a tray. A forlorn Trudy entered next, and the uptight lookalikes followed right behind her.
“Here,” Don spoke while placing the tray on the coffee table. “Get something to eat. Get your strength back.”
My face lit up as I spotted the pile of French toast. Don grunted somewhat uncomfortably, before his eyes met mine. “Uhm,” he glanced awkwardly over his shoulder to Trudy, who was flanked by the twins. “She, uh, said they’re your favorite. The toast, I mean.”
“Yes,” I reached for the French toast on top and took a humongous bite out of it. With my mouth full, I continued to speak. “They’re definitely my favorite. Thank you.”
“Seda!” Trudy sucked in a breath. “Where are your manners? This is not the way I –“
Trudy’s reprimanding of my table manners shocked us all in some way. To me, it felt like good old times. Her remark was something familiar, yet also a painful reminder that my life with Trudy and Jackson was long over. To the others, her sudden outburst probably felt like an intrusion since no one had asked for her opinion. But it was Donovan’s expression that had me in a twist. Sadness shimmered in his eyes, yet at the same time, he was grinning like an idiot.
The sadness was easy to interpret: he didn’t like the idea of Trudy knowing what my favorite food was, nor did he enjoy the reminder that she raised me while that was supposed to be his job.
The funny part was harder to figure out. “What did I do or say?”
Don shook his head, letting out a chuckle. “It’s touching to see that you eat like your old man.”
Such a stupid statement, but it warmed my heart nonetheless. I couldn’t bury the pride that swelled in my chest even if I wanted to. “Thank you.”
“That wasn’t a compliment!” One of the twins laughed loudly while the other one just grinned.
I shrugged.
Eric reappeared just then, frowning. “You’re all still standing here? Wasn’t the plan to talk?”
As if brought to life, Don, the twins and Trudy took a seat, while Eric fetched an extra chair from the kitchen.
“Here,” Kieran nudged my elbow before handing me a fork and full plate, but I didn’t eat much because Trudy started speaking and I hung to every word that left her lips.
“I know it doesn’t mean much now, maybe it never will, but know that I’m truly sorry. I can’t speak in name of Jackson, nor for the rest of the town’s council, but at least I can admit that what I did was wrong and—“
“Wrong?” Eric huffed. “If that’s your—“
“Let her continue,” one of the twins said, nodding his head to Trudy.
Staring at her own hands, Trudy swallowed before she met my eyes again. “I am sorry, Seda. I truly am. I don’t deserve your forgiveness -- I don’t even want it. Forgiveness is something I won’t even grant myself. What we all did… What I did… No. Whatever comes of this, promise me you’ll never forgive – promise me you’ll never even consider forgiving me.”
When I didn’t speak, Trudy repeated her question but still, I couldn’t find my voice.
How was I to know my feelings a year, ten years, even longer from now? Trudy wasn’t exactly high on the list of people I liked at the moment, but I had the feeling that, in time, I’d find it in me to forgive her. I blamed my heart for still thinking of her as my mom – of sorts – instead of the woman who conspired against me.
Don sat up a bit straighter and crossed his arms. “Rest assured, I’ll remind her if it ever comes to that. Was that all you wanted to share? If not, I’d advice to get on with it. My patience is running tin.”
“There’s more. You’re right,” Trudy’s shoulders sagged, “there’s more. I only wanted to make certain Seda understood that I didn’t come here to save my own skin. Very much the opposite, in fact.”
“Then why come at all?” Eric wanted to know. “Why take the risk?”
Instead of answering his question, Trudy focused on me. “I don’t know what you did at The Hall or why you were there to begin with, but I wish you wouldn’t have known what was going on.”
“So you could follow through with the plan?”
“No, of course not. Everything is so much more difficult now – I was planning your way out. The council seemed oblivious to my scheme but… I think I stood up for you too much.”
“Didn’t sound like it on my side of the door. In fact, I remember you telling them you took the welfare of the town’s children at –“
“Seda,” Trudy breathed, slightly annoyed. “Don’t you get it?”
“Get what?”
“You are correct, but only partially. You must’ve heard the Council ask if I didn’t care about the life of our children, but Seda, to me you are my daughter. I do care about your safety. When I told them I wanted what was best for our children – to use their words – I was thinking of you. I had, and always will have your best interest at heart. You’re my daughter, maybe not by blood but in every other meaning of the word. You’re my daughter in all the ways that matter.”
“I don’t get it. If you truly felt that way – and I’m not convinced this is the case – then why the lies? Why do as the Council said?”
“Because I made a mistake. A big one. I was young, held high hopes for the future and couldn’t deal with reality. You have to know, even as a young child, I wanted children. I wanted to be a mom. I wanted a baby to call my own, to love with all my heart. As newlyweds, Jackson and I tried. We tried to the point it threatened our marriage. He told me he was through, that he would no longer aid me in my obsession. As weeks turned to months, and months to a year, I sensed Jackson was going to make me choose, a baby or him. I felt the ultimatum was on its way, while all I wanted was for my lifelong dream to come true. The more time passed, the tenser things got at home.
Then you were there.
One day, Jackson brought you home. I was over the moon. I cried when I first held you in my arms. You were so tiny, so fragile. My mother instinct kicked in the second Jackson told me your parents didn’t want you. He said –“
Don rocketed from his seat, and got up in Trudy’s face. “Didn’t want? You think –“
I hadn’t heard him come in, but Alex was standing near the door. “Calm down, Don.” Alex crossed the room and placed a hand on Don’s shoulder, who shrugged it off.
“How dare you hint that Elise and I didn’t want Seda? She was our baby girl. Our everything. And you took her away. An innocent, helpless newborn – my daughter! How could you?“
“For Seda’s sake,” Alex said while tearing Don away from Trudy, “get yourself under control and let this woman finish her story.”
“I refuse to –“
“Not your call to make, Don, but Seda’s.” Alex shoved Don down on the couch and turned to me. “What do you want? Do you want us to escort this woman out?”
I blinked. My eyes switched between Don and Trudy and as I witnessed the raw pain in Don’s features, my heart squeezed together, crushed beneath the guilt.
“Let her stay. I’ll listen.”
Alex nodded. “Then she stays.”
Trudy glanced at Don, Alex, and the others in the room before her eyes finally settled on me.
“Thanks,” she whispered.
I didn’t dare look at Don because my decision to let Trudy stay felt a lot like betrayal towards Don.
This meeting with Trudy was harder on me than expected. How was I supposed to know what to do, what to think, when I didn’t even know how I felt?
“Well then, go on…” Eric urged. Don was already fidgeting in his seat, popping his knuckles. A shiver ran down my spine, which Kieran mistook for a sign I was cold.
“Eat up,” he said softly, shifting even closer to me. Almost every part of my right side touched his left. “You’ll feel better if you do.”
Silently, and with twelve pairs of eyes trained on me, I took another bite of the lukewarm toast. Everyone watched, causing my throat to constrict. Swallowing suddenly seemed impossible so I had to force the food down with a sip of water.
No one broke the silence so I ate some more. Not that it became any easier. The longer the silence lasted, the more uncomfortable I felt.
“So,” Trudy finally said, causing a relieved sigh to pass my lips. “I was telling you about the day Jackson brought you to me. I was over the moon with joy. Holding you in my arms, I sobbed. Jackson on the other hand acted weird, but I didn’t think much of it. He was new to being a father as well –“
Don growled under his breath, but Trudy ignored him.
“Jackson only needed some time getting used to the idea… or so I presumed. But then he told me there were things I needed to know about you if I wanted to keep you. Never did it cross my mind that it would go this far, that we’d endanger your life. However, at the time I was willing to agree to just about everything. My dream had come through and I wouldn’t let anyone snatch it away. So I accompanied Jackson to a council meeting the next day. Up until that moment, I had never been to one of those. Jackson had been part of the council even before we started dating, before we married, but never invited me to go with him. Once there, I was surprised to see so many familiar faces. There weren’t many women though, not that this matters now. They told me you were found in the woods, that your parents had left you there to die…”
Don’s face had grown pale with fury. Up until that moment, I had always thought people to grow red with anger, but not Don. To the contrary, his color faded.
Kieran’s uncle muttered something in Don’s ear while Alex fetched my glass of water from the coffee table and handed it to Don. Water sloshed over the sides as a result to the visible tremors that ran through his limbs.
Meanwhile, Trudy took in Don’s struggle to remain his calm. Her breathing quickened, and I noticed her body stiffen as if she was afraid of him.
“Ah-Are y-y-you…?” Trudy stuttered and then she turned to Alex. “Is he going to…?”
“Change?” Alex finished for her.
My body went stock-still. No one noticed except for Kieran, who took my hand in his and gave it a tight squeeze. Was Don going to change? I wasn’t ready to witness the human-to-wolf transition. Not enough time had passed for me to process the fact that the people in the same room as me – save for Trudy and myself – could turn into animals. Kieran sat so close to me, holding my hand.
What if he suddenly changed? Would I be holding a paw instead of a human hand?
Kieran leaned into me, whispering in my ear, “Breathe.”
“There’s no way to tell for sure,” Alex continued, oblivious to my panic. “But for Seda’s sake, I think he’ll be able to keep himself under control. Why don’t you focus on your story, instead of worrying about Don? Trust me, the faster we get this over with, the better.”
Looking down at her hands, Trudy straightened the fabric of her pants. She inhaled deeply, reminding me I should follow her example. As I took two or three deep breaths, I tried to push away the lingering thoughts of anything wolf-related. I would have to worry about that later.
“Okay,” Trudy’s voice wavered slightly. “The meeting. Most of the men there played a rather important role in town. They were – and still are – well-respected men. I wasn’t exactly surprised to see them there.”
“Who were these men?” Eric wanted to know.
“Mostly shop owners,” Trudy answered. “The school principle, some of the teachers, the priest, my husband... I will write you down a list with their names if you’d like.”
“Much appreciated.”
Trudy focused on me again. “You were a foundling. While still tiny as a newborn, these men reacted with subtle hints of fear as I walked in, carrying you in my arms. Seeing them suck in a breath, eye each other with knowing glances, I couldn’t believe what I saw. These high and mighty men feared you for some reason, but when I looked at you, I saw nothing but a tiny bundle of joy – a tiny little girl that warmed my heart. The priest was the first to step forward, mumbling a prayer through his teeth. Someone else told me to place you on the table in the centre of the room and that I was to stand aside as they,” she used both hands to make air-quotes, “did what needed to be done.”
“What was that?” Kieran wondered, pulling me closer to him as if to protect me from the rest of the story.
Trudy grimaced at the question or the memory, I couldn’t tell for sure. As she searched for an answer, her breathing hitched.
“Blood. They drew your blood,” she said to me at the verge of tears. “The scars, the lines on the palms of your hands and the soles of your feet? They didn’t come from a nasty fall as a toddler, Seda.”
Absently, I released my hands from Kieran’s protective grip. I stared at the thin lines – the one on the inside of my left hand and then the one on the inside of my right hand.
“There was evil in you, they said. They had to draw it out. I tried to stop them, but Jackson held me back the entire time.”
“Entire time? What else did they do to me?”
Trudy averted her eyes.
“It was horrible…” she said and buried her head in her hands. Her words sounded muffled. “They yelled at you, made you cry until your skin no longer looked red, but purple. I don’t know what they yelled, I didn’t understand the language but next to me, Jackson murmured that you had evil in you. That if they didn’t get it out, you’d get us all killed. He said you belonged not to your real family, not to us even, but to Him. Back then, I didn’t know who he referred to, and I didn’t think to ask. Hours later, your baby-skin was covered in crosses drawn on you in ash and a mixture of your and the priest’s blood. You had no tears left to cry.”
The picture Trudy’s words painted in my head was beyond horrible. Even though I knew I was too young at the time to remember now, I still tried to find memories of what happened. While that wasn’t a success, I did recall what it felt like when people crossed the street each time I walked by. I’d never forget the many nights I spent crying, wondering what was wrong with me that no one wanted to sit with me at school. No doubt about it, in town, a murderer would’ve been more loved and accepted than me. And all this because they believed I had evil in me?
“Next, I had to watch.” Trudy’s voice brought me back from my thoughts. “Another man had joined the men around the table. I wasn’t even aware he had come in, nor had I any idea who this stranger was. But he…”
Don made a sound, deep in his throat. “He what?”
Trudy hesitated. “He touched Seda. He spoke to her as if he knew her. As if she was his. The way he looked at her? I thought he was you,” she said, looking at Don. “I thought he was her father.”
Don clenched his fists, flexed his neck and sucked in so much air that I feared there wouldn’t be enough left for us to breathe.
Alex didn’t turn a blind eye to Don’s visible battle to stay in control. “Maybe you should –“
“No.”
“Think of Seda. You don’t –“
“I’m fine.”
“Don,” Alex pressed. “We can pause and continue later, after you’ve calmed yourself down. You really –“
“Damn it!” Don exploded. “I told you I’ve got everything under control.”
Alex opened his mouth to speak, but Don wouldn’t let him.
“I need to hear this, Alex. I have to do this for Seda. For Elise. For me. For eighteen years, this not-knowing has been eating at me from the inside.”
“Fine, but I swear to God, I will drag you outside by the collar of your shirt if I have to.”
Eric ignored Alex and Don, and turned to Trudy. “What happened then?”
“It was obvious that this stranger was important. I mean, none of the men dared to make eye contact with him. He could silence them with a look. To be honest, he gave me the chills. What surprised me most was how young he looked, yet, his broad shoulders, tall height, scarred skin and fierce stare deflected the attention from his boyish features. So, after he stroked Seda’s head, all the while awing over her beauty, he picked her up and hugged her close.” Trudy turned to me, giving me a weak smile. “Seda, girl, you didn’t have any tears left to shed, but I’m convinced that deep down, even you knew this man was a bad guy, because you didn’t do as much as whimper.”
The man who planned on killing me had held me in his arms as a baby? Trudy knew he was bad, evil maybe, yet she didn’t protect me? She left me wandering the streets by myself, unprotected. How could she have done this to me?
I wasn’t aware that I had spoken that last question out loud, at least, not until everyone turned to look at me.
“Oh, Seda…” Trudy cried. “I did everything wrong, I know, but it didn’t feel like I had much of a choice back then. The men and this stranger had come to some agreement that we were to look after you, raise you. That didn’t seem wrong, so I agreed. But then they told me about the danger you were in, people that would undoubtedly come searching for you – people who wanted to hurt you in the worst possible ways. My heart ached for you. In that moment, there wasn’t anything I wouldn’t have done to keep you safe.”
How was I supposed to hate this woman? If, deep in her heart, she had loved me. This much was clear to me. But the question remained. Why hadn’t Trudy given it her all to ensure my safety?
“That’s when it happened,” she shuddered. “You laughed. I don’t know what caused you to giggle, maybe his beard made you ticklish. Anyway, that idiot of an Arthur McLeyd muttered to himself something of you being pure evil, not meant to be born. Those were the last words he ever spoke, for in the blink of an eye, you were trusted back in my arms and the stranger turned into a beast. I didn’t think it possible, but I swear to you, cross my heart, that it happened. Right there. Right in front of all of us, the beast tore Arthur apart. Limb for limb until his blood covered the walls.” Trudy swallowed loudly. Her face had grown pale as she relived the memory. I couldn’t blame her.
What surprised me though, was the shock I found on the other’s faces. Don, Alex, Eric, the twins, they all sat wide-eyed staring at each other. As if they were trying to converse without words.
Trudy was too far gone in her memories to note the perplexed expressions around her. Oblivious to us all, she resumed telling her story.
“I will never forget the fear that washed through me as the beast turned to face me. The blood dripped from its fur and it growled. I’m surprised I didn’t drop you,” she said to me. “The other men either screamed or stood frozen, I think one even fainted. In the madness, I tried to find Jackson. So, for only two seconds, I allowed myself to shot a glance over my shoulder, to see if I would find Jackson behind me and when I looked back to the beast, it was no longer there. Back to human form, he stood naked before me. Covered in blood. He screamed profanities, cursing the other men. He swore the same fate would befall them if they didn’t stick to the contract. That’s when Jackson came to me, holding out a pen.
I vowed to myself to protect you. As it turned out, this included lying to you. It wasn’t until later, long after I signed the contract, that I learned about the agreement between the council and the outsider. He would protect our town from the likes of him, if in return, we raised you. No, it wasn’t smart of me to sign a contract I hadn’t read first, but it seemed like my only option back then. By signing it, I found out afterwards, I agreed to sending you back to him by the time you turned eighteen. If I had –“
“What was his name?” Alex interrupted Trudy. “Did you ever catch his name?”
“Yes,” she answered, unaware of the enraged look the men in the room shared. I didn’t know what was going on, but it didn’t predict anything good. “We were never to call him by name or talk about him in public. That’s what the meetings were –“
“His name!” Don shouted. “Give us his damned name!”
“Sam-” Trudy spoke quietly. “His name was Samuel.”
At this, all hell broke loose... and the coffee table had to pay the price.
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A/N: thanks for reading! I just want to apologize one more time for the long wait. Also, if you spotted any mistakes, feel free to let me know. I think this was the first time I ever had to write a scene in which a character tells another story. Getting Trudy to tell her story while 'my story' didn't seem to get boring was rather tricky. I hope I succeeded and that most of this chapter made sense, if not, leave a comment and I'll do my best to explain.
Take care!
- Vicky