Abigail served at a breakfast that did have Jack and didn’t have Eleonora, in bed with a headache, and so was there to see the first meeting of Jack and Hilary. More bloody competition, she thought, though she couldn’t hold it against Miss Hilary, whom she’d met before and thought good fun. Not one for airs and graces like Miss Deirdre and not stuck up at all. No, she couldn’t fault Hilary for liking Jack and she couldn’t really fault Jack if he liked Hilary. She was definitely fed up that only one of them had a chance of meeting Jack outside to talk to. Gunna ‘ave to do something about that.
‘I ran into your uncle this morning, Abigail,’ he told her. Earns points that does, an’ ‘im pulling me into conversation with all these toffs around gets ‘im a few more.
‘He’s a lad, isn’t he?’
‘Famous in these parts he is, sir. Tells everyone that he’s a poacher and that he’s never been up before the beak for it. Never has neither.’
‘A bit of a Casanova in his day, from what I’ve heard.’
‘Deirdre.’ Lady Charlotte’s voice was level and quiet, but the command in it was clear.
‘Oh, Mummy. This is 1915 you know. Victoria’s long dead. I know what Casanova was famous for and I know a lot of the local girls have claimed him as a father of their little…’ she hesitated, ‘Little fatherless ones.’
‘That’s what they do say, but he always ses they don’t never bring any gingers when they come calling him the dad, so he don’t see how any of ‘em can be his.’
‘That’s as may be, but this is not suitable conversation for the breakfast table.’
That silenced everyone for a moment and Lady Charlotte turned back to her newspaper.
‘Oh my good God,’ she said a moment later.
‘What is it?’
‘Kipling’s son has died in the war and he’s published a poem about it.’
‘That would be suitable for the breakfast table, though, wouldn’t it?’ muttered Deirdre, earning herself a glare from her mother.
‘May I see?’ said Jack and took the paper.
He read the first line, ‘Have you news of my boy Jack?’ and felt a chill run down his spine. What’s that all about? He finished the poem and looked at Lady Charlotte.
‘He drowned, this boy?’
‘It’s not clear from the article, but one would presume so from the poem.’
She looks very upset about it, now where is that coming from?
‘It looks rather…’ he searched for the right word, ‘Jingoistic isn’t quite it, but that’s what comes to mind.’
Jack could see from her face that Lady Charlotte felt the same.
‘Perhaps just a bereaved father looking desperately for something to help him deal with the pain?’
She thought about it and nodded, ‘Perhaps just so.’
‘Oh, Mummy. That awful man, Helena’s brother, is having an exhibition in London.’
Deirdre had been looking over Jack’s shoulder and picking for things of more genuine interest.
‘Not Walter Sickert? Disgusting little man.’
‘Sickert?’ asked Jack, ‘The artist?’ Something was wrong there. ‘I thought he was dead.’
‘Well, hardly if he’s exhibiting work in London.’ Deirdre was still reading, looking for more gossip.
Something nagged at the back of Jack’s mind; he knew that name and it was important. ‘Wasn’t there… Wasn’t there some connection between him and…’
‘Jack the Ripper,’ piped up Hilary. ‘Yes, he painted a portrait of the Ripper’s bedroom. I saw it in a gallery the last time I went up to Town with Mummy and Aunt Maud. Gloomy old thing. Anyway, Jack. Can you teach us this fighting thing that you do?’
‘I hardly think that would be appropriate for young ladies, Hilary,’ said Fanny.
‘Stuff and nonsense, Miss Brampton. I’ve always thought it was one of the only things Emmeline, Helena and their suffragettes have got completely right. I don’t approve of war, but if any man raises a hand in anger to my daughter, I want her to pass it back to him with the arm attached broken in two places.’
‘Have you ever studied a martial art yourself, Lady Charlotte?’ asked Jack, impressed with the sentiment.
‘Not formally, though I did play hockey for my house at Roedean.’ She looked at him and raised a sardonic eyebrow. ‘Our games mistress would have taken on a Roman legion and any man putting his money on the Romans to win would have gone home sadder and wiser for the experience, believe me. I was there with Penelope Creighton-Ward and Lucy Saxon the year we won the Sussex championship and we were formidable. Miss Brampton would have to chaperone, of course, but if you can teach anything practical to the girls, then you have my blessing.’
***
So later, Jack found himself back on the grass in front of the castle with a class of three clad in bloomers and hockey tops, two of them being spare from Deirdre and consequently big on Hilary and rather tight on Fanny.
‘So, the most common way for a man to start an assault on a woman is for him to take her by the upper right arm with his left hand. He may show her a weapon, such as a knife, which he’ll threaten to use and then hide, or simply drag her away. We’ll look at things like hair grabbing later, but for now,’ he took Deirdre by the arm, ‘What would you do?’
She pulled back, but with little conviction and he responded by pulling her hard against him and putting his thumb against her neck. ‘Try that again and I’ll cut your throat.’ He put his thumb down. ‘Now come with me.’
‘For God’s sake Dee, don’t just stand there. Kick him!’
‘Excellent advice, Hilary.’
***
Abby stood beside the window and watched. She’d like to be a part of that, just ‘cos it looked like fun, but knew she couldn’t. She was a servant and, however well she got on with Miss Hillary, some things just didn’t happen. She’d also like to be out there to be with Jack, but that also wasn’t happening.
***
‘So, as you stamp on his foot, swing your hand up and try to flick your fingers into his eyes. It doesn’t matter if you miss, he’ll flinch anyway, so you’ll have a chance to grab his hair or his ear.’
***
Bridie came up beside her.
‘He’s a nice young lad, so. Not just good looking, but caring. You can see it on him, can’t you?’
She nodded.
‘But he’s not going to be here long and there’s no way of knowing if he’ll ever be back this way.’
‘I know that an’ I’m not going daft over ‘im. But, I dunno, I can talk to ‘im. How many of them can you just talk to, without ‘em trying to get your knickers off?’
Bridie snorted. ‘Precious few and that’s God’s own truth. So he hasn’t tried to…’
‘Nah. Not scared of it. Just not desperate for it like most of ‘em. Tell you the truth, I don’t think ee ‘as to try too ‘ard.’
***
‘Now, I’ve shown you hitting him once, but if he doesn’t guard against it, hit him again. There’s no need to change what you’re doing until it stops working. Once he does get a hand in the way, pull his head down like this, yes, that’s it, grab the ear, and either hit him at the back of his neck or put your arm under his and …’
***
‘An’ anytime he’s not asleep or busy with one o’ them, then it still don’t matter, ‘cos I’m run off me feet with all the work here.’
‘Aye, well there is truth in that. And, to be honest wit yer, Gina and meself have been loading the jobs on you for just that. Damned if I know why, now I come to think of it. You deserve as much of a chance with him as either of those two.’
***
‘So, if it’s starting to come apart, the odds are that he’ll reach for you with his free hand, so slap it down with your left. If he doesn’t, make the move anyway, ‘cos it doesn’t hurt. Then hit up under his chin with the heel of your right hand. If you’re very lucky, he’ll bite his tongue off.’
***
‘In the meantime, darling, I really do need a hand in the kitchen, but if we can finish off there, there’s truly little more that needs doing for today.’
***
It was an hour later that the self-defence class finished, with everyone pleasantly tired. It had been strange for Jack to have Fanny there and neither able to speak. He had a sense of both of them being careful around each other and, while he could think of a dozen reasons why that might be on her side; it bothered him more than he could explain. He went to his room expecting a nap after the exertions, but wondered if he’d be able to get any time to talk to her privately.
Just as he sat on his bed, however, she slipped through the door. He opened his mouth to speak, but she held her finger to her lips, dashed forward, kissed him quickly on the lips and sat down beside him.
‘I’ve only got a few minutes, but I did so want to talk with you. It seems like ages since we last did and, anyway, Lena told me about last night. No, no,’ she reassured, seeing the look on his face, ‘I don’t mind, really. She is my best friend, my only friend here, and she’s so unhappy in her marriage. She should have someone like you. And I understand why if you want to be with her. She’s so beautiful. You should marry someone like Lena, Jack.’ She laughed. ‘It would be the only way the bride could be as lovely as the groom.’
Jack felt like dropping his head into his hands. ‘This is such a strange situation, isn’t it? This isn’t like anything else in my life and I don’t know what to do.’ He looked her straight in the eyes. ‘I don’t want to lose you, Fanny. It’s not that I want her instead of you. It just happened with her. I won’t say I didn’t want it, but I didn’t plan it.’
She touched his face and put her hands on his shoulders. ‘I know, honestly darling, I do. It just happened with us too. It is all so insane, though. One day, I suppose, Peter will come back from the war and then I might just become Mrs Davy. And I suppose I still want that, though I’m not the same woman I was, so why should I think he’ll be the same man?’ She shook her head. ‘Honestly, I don’t know. Before the war, everything seemed to be going like a train on the tracks. We were just riding it and going where it took us. Now, all of that seems broken. It seems so silly that, what, fifty miles away from us, across the Channel, half the men of Europe are trying to kill the other half. Meanwhile we sit here, worried that we might be doing something naughty and perhaps we should stop. But who’s hurt by what we do? I think about it and think about it and never get to any answer in my head. So I know I can’t have you, but I still want to. What do you want, Jack?’
‘So many things. I’ve never been anchored to any place or anyone. I don’t want to lose someone else. I don’t think I knew that before I came here, but I’m sure of it now. I want you as my friend.’
‘Only as a friend?’
He gave a short, humourless laugh. ‘After an hour of looking at you in that tight top, I want you naked on a bed, but that feels like cheating, like being greedy.’
‘Then please be greedy because that’s what I want too. No, no, darling. Not here, not now. It’s too, too… I could never relax. Can I come tonight?’
‘Please.’
‘Then I’ll talk with Lena. Don’t worry, I can make it alright. After all, she’s married.’
As she left, Jack had a thought about the strange algebra of infidelity that could make a woman cheating on her husband worse than one cheating on her fiancé and so have to accept sharing the boy she was cheating with to make things balance.
Still, she’s right, he thought. The church tells us ‘Thou shalt not kill’ and ‘God is on our side in this war’ with no awareness of contradiction. Why listen to ‘Thou shalt not commit adultery’ when its only consequence was greater happiness in a miserable world? It was bringing joy to his life, certainly. Fanny looked much happier than when he’d first arrived and he couldn’t believe Eleonora regretted last night.
He looked in his bag for a change of clothes and found an envelope he hadn’t noticed before. It opened to a folded piece of paper and a five pound note. Held out, the crisp white bank note looked as big as a bed sheet. I’m rich. He unfolded the note. It had three words, written in a functional and neat hand. Have fun, Dad.
Have fun? I’ll need to go to a bank and get this changed before I can spend even part of it. With this money I could… No, he realised, he couldn’t. Not unless he did it alone. He could imagine inviting Eleonora or Fanny out for a meal. He couldn’t imagine them accepting, though, because they would all be able to picture the outcome. In a bed or on a river bank, body to body and Jack was an equal partner. Sat before the eyes of the world and he might be able to pass himself off as a younger brother or nephew. No, that just didn’t work.
Well, thanks for the thought, W.E. , you’ve been more than generous, but a shilling to buy chocolates would have worked as well. Possibly even better, ‘cos this just rubs my nose in the fact that I can’t do what I want. He put the money back in the envelope and stuck it in a drawer
He was about to change when the door opened again. This time it was Abigail. He opened his mouth to speak, but she held her finger to her lips, walked forward, and stood in front of him, hands on hips.
‘Well, if it isn’t Mario the Magnificent, the Wrestlin’ Phenomenon. Oh look, you got somethin’ on your top there.’
She touched a finger to his chest and, when he looked down, flicked it up to hit his nose.
‘I’ve two questions to ask you,’ said Jack, ‘But I don’t know which one to start with.’
‘Ar?’
‘All right, one is when is your next day off? If you like we could go to a tea shop and maybe to the kinema – have a day out in town. My treat.’
‘You’m kiddin’. Bain’t you?’
‘No.’
‘That’d be like walkin’ out, but. Wouldn’t it?’
‘There’s a heap of things we can’t do. This is one we could.’
‘Well, we’d ‘ave to go on the train. An’ I dunno if we could go together, ‘cos I shouldn’t be walkin’ out with a guest. An’ I dunno what I’d tell my mum. An’ …’
‘So we would go on the train. I’ll say I have to go up to town to buy a birthday present for my Aunt Nancy. I suppose you could tell your mum you want to see your sister. And if we are seen together, then it only makes sense we’d be talking to each other, ‘cos we’d be going to the same place, just by accident, of course.’
‘An’ we’d go to a proper tea shop and ‘ave cake an’ then go to the flicks and watch Charlie Chaplin an’ The Keystone Kops?’ She stopped a moment. ‘Hey, we bain’t a goin’ in the back row, now. Don’t you start thinkin’ that.’
‘No. Tea and cakes, Charlie Chaplin, a walk in the park. Just a day out. As company.’
‘Why?’
‘Do you mean why go? ‘Cos it would be fun and we can’t spend time together here. If you mean why you... Well I could ask Hilary. I think she’d say yes, and I wouldn’t have to worry about her day off, ‘cos it’s all of them and it might not even have to be a secret. And I might ask her if you say no. But I’d like to go with you.’
She took him by the hands and danced him around. ‘We’m a going to town to watch the fli-icks. We’m a going to town to watch the fli-icks’
He laughed, pulled her towards him and caught her round the waist. ‘So that’s a yes then?’
She nodded.
‘You haven’t asked me what the other question is yet, though.’
‘Alright smarty pants. What’s the other question?’
‘When was the last time someone put you over their knee and tanned your arse, ‘cos I think you’re well overdue.’
‘Huh,’ she said, poking his chest with a finger, ‘Like to see you try.’
‘Um, don’t know that I wouldn’t like to see me try too.’ Her eyes lit up with a warning. ‘Another place, another time, though.’
‘You just keep thinkin’ like that an’ you might live to see another birthday. Us Whiddon’s bain’t so easy to push around, you know.’
‘No?’ said Jack, wide eyed. He lifted one foot up and pushed it against the side of her knee, collapsing it. As she staggered to one side he lifted her weight up, swung her around and dumped her on the bed, landing seated beside her. Before she could move he reached out and pinned her arms down.
‘Dunno,’ he said, ‘Doesn’t seem that hard to me.’
‘You bugger. Let me up an’ I’m goin’ to box your ears.’
‘Really? So why am I going to let you up then?’
She struggled to lift herself off the bed and Jack let go suddenly, causing her to rocket up and collide with him. He caught her again and held her close in. Nose to nose. There was a heart beat’s pause and then he kissed her. She joined in the kiss, so he pulled her arms up around his neck.
‘Phew.’ She said as they broke apart.
‘Umm, nice,’ he said and moved in for another. She put a finger to his lips.
‘Tis nice an’ all, but some of us has work to do an’ must be about it.’
He nodded and relaxed back, whereon she grabbed his ears and pushed him flat down on the bed.
‘Ha, ha. Told you so. Now you just quit whilst you’m ahead.’
She leant down for another peck on the lips then skipped away and was out of the door. Jack had just folded his arms behind his head and was thinking about the trip to town when she poked her head back round the door.
‘Saturday. Nice an’ early in the mornin’, right?’ Then was gone again.