A/N – Hey guys. So I'm going to start making vote and comment goals on my chapters. And don't worry you will still get updates even if they are not reached. So this chapter's goal is 50 votes and 30 comments. Let's see if we can reach that xx
Chapter 29 – Did I Ever Say I Was a Gentleman?
"Do you want anything to drink?"
I shook my head vigorously and began nervously playing with my fingers. I couldn't help but feel slightly out of place as my eyes wandered around the unfamiliar house.
"Make yourself at home."
Hunter took off his jacket and placed his keys on the kitchen table as I watched his movements. He walked to the fridge and pulled out a carton of orange juice, tilting his head up to drink it. In any other occasion, I would have told him how gross that was but right now, the anxiety within me created a knot at the back of my throat which restricted my speech.
"Your mom isn't home. She told me to take you to my house and she'll call when she gets home."
I remembered him telling me when we were in the car when he had called my mother to inform her regarding my panic attack and the fact that I was coming home early from school. When he told me that she wasn't home I vaguely recalled her saying something about going over to a friend's house at breakfast.
"Do you live in two different places?"
Hunter was sitting next to me on the sofa with his feet propped up against the glass table in front of us. He still had his shoes on which would usually bother me but I didn't care at the moment.
"I guess you could say that."
It would be best not to push him on it, I decided.
A few seconds of silence passed. It wasn't awkward though, it was comfortable. It was as if he was giving me some time to myself. I liked it.
"Are they frequent?"
We both turned to each other.
"Your panic attacks. Do you get them frequently?"
I broke our gaze and traced the edge of the glass of orange juice that was in my hand, despite my objection to having a drink.
"Umm... They used to be really regular quite a while ago, but then they stopped for a really long time and now they've started again. It just sucks to not even know why the hell I'm getting them. Before I would know the reason and my therapist would aid me in controlling them and after a while, I was actually able to supress quite a lot of them with the therapy that I was getting. They cut down slowly and I was so grateful because it was just draining me completely. And now, when I finally got the opportunity to get away from everything, I come all the way back to square one as if I didn't make any progress at all. Only now, it's worse because I don't even know what's causing them, it's just..."
I hadn't realized that I was rambling until I looked back up at Hunter.
I had my legs up against my chest with my chin resting on my knees and I was almost whispering the words, my eyes glued to the television remote on the table.
When I looked up at Hunter, the rate of my heart beat increased. There were many people that I had informed regarding my panic attacks and there were many people who weren't aware of them until they witnessed one themselves. Needless to say, 99 percent of the people who knew would either look at me with pity and sorrow, carelessness or fear. Not necessarily the kind of fear that would make goose bumps rise on your skin, but more like the kind where you wouldn't want to go near a person because they seem strange and weird. To a lot of people, I was that person. I am that person.
Hunter's expression didn't seem familiar. It wasn't pity or carelessness and it sure as hell wasn't fear. It was something that I couldn't quite decipher. It was a look that I feel like I have never received.
"Here's a deal."
Despite my fragile state at this moment in time, Hunter's deep, husky voice didn't fail to send ripples of heat through me.
"I guess what's going on in your head right now, you let me take you somewhere. No questions asked."
A small smirk flitted on my lips with his statement. There is no way he will be able to guess the heaps of frustrating judgement that my mind is recalling and resurfacing right now.
"Firstly, you're taken aback by my reaction to everything you just said. You expected me to pity you and say 'I'm sorry'. You expected me to look at you like you are some damsel in distress and you expected me to think that you are helpless because that's the response that you've been getting ever since you can remember."
My mouth hung open in shock as he unravelled my thoughts like untying a simple knot.
"You're frustrated and angry because people continuously judge you when they don't even know who you are and what you've been through. Every time you have a panic attack in public you think that everyone who saw it will judge you and think you are strange. You see yourself as an open target whenever you break down and show any type of vulnerability. That's why you kept looking around the classroom when you realized that you were having a panic attack. Right now, you think that the next time you walk through those school doors, people are going to look at you and see you as weak and helpless."
His eyes were on me the entire time and I could almost feel him looking right through me, reading me like an open book.
He looked like he wanted to continue but decided to leave it at that and instead he asked,
"Am I right?"
The triumphant smirk on his face told me that he didn't even need to ask.
"I hate you."
I laughed in defeat and got up, ready to follow him wherever he was taking me.
He took his car keys from the kitchen table and opened the front door, causing a cold breeze to sweep in.
"Do you have a jacket?"
I shook my head and watched as he went up the stairs and came back down within a minute with his leather jacket in his hand. He threw it at me and it landed on my head.
"A gentleman would come over and place it over my shoulders you know. Not throw it at me."
I took it off my head and wore it, smoothing down my hair. Instantly, Hunter's familiar, unique scent buried me in a fragrant wonderland as I attempted to discretely sniff his jacket every five seconds.
"Did I ever say I was a gentleman?"
He flashed me his breath-taking smile and headed out the front door with me following behind.
It was cold out. The chilly winter wind dancing its way through the busy city, swerving through apartments and skyscrapers. It had only been an hour since we left school. On the way, Hunter went to the grocery store to buy a few things and stocked up the fridge in his apartment which is why it took us a while to get here.
I pulled my phone out of the jacket I was wearing and checked the time.
10:40am.
It was still bright and relatively early in the morning, cars and taxis accumulating heaps of traffic on the streets. I strained my neck up to gaze wondrously at the tall buildings of New York. Hunter was quite far ahead of me on a phone call and with the way I could hear him almost shouting on the phone, it didn't seem like a pleasant call.
I watched as he hung up and continued walking before turning around and seeing me far behind.
"Sorry about that." He apologized when I caught up to him, but I was focused on staring at him rather than acknowledging his apology.
"You're really mysterious." I blurted. Courtesy of just having recovered.
"Excuse me?"
"It's just, nobody knows anything about you. Everything that I hear about you seems completely ridiculous and when I think about the possibility of any of it being true, I recall how pissed you got when I believed the whole 'beating a guy up to death' thing."
He shook his head in amusement at my slight frustration.
"I already told you that the guy was Brayden right?"
"Yeah."
"I was in school quite late that day because I had gotten into a fight so the head teacher asked me to stay behind to speak to me. When I left and went outside to my car, Brayden was leaning against it beaten up and slightly bloody. At the time, I didn't know him because I was that weird guy that everyone stayed away from. He asked me if I could give him a ride home and I did. I guess someone may have seen us together and considering the state that he was in and the fact that I had just had a fight; they assumed that I beat him up. As for the death part, god knows where that came from."
He turned to me when he was done and I stared into his deep blue eyes, mesmerised by the way the morning sun shone on his face, illuminating his naturally tanned skin and emphasizing his soft, bronze hair.
"What?"
My mind came back to reality, "Huh?"
"Why are you staring at me?"
"Sorry." The embarrassment caused a rush of blood to travel to my cheeks and I internally cursed for being so affected by this guy.
"Anything else you want to know?"
I thought for a second, before remembering another rumour which sparked some curiosity within me.
"Have you actually been arrested before?"
"Yeah." He said it without hesitation and I couldn't figure out whether I was surprised or not. A part of me always considered the possibility but I didn't think he'd tell me.
"Why? What did you do?"
He laughed whilst looking at the ground and a spark of light hit his straight white teeth.
How can someone be so effortlessly good-looking?
"It's going to take a lot more than curiosity to hear about that."
"Meaning?"
We walked past a shop from which a woman exited with her dog. Her puppy immediately ran to me and hugged my leg to which I responded by kneeling down and cuddling it. I've always loved animals. Even when I was really young, Charlotte's dad would take us to a Horse stable and we would actually attempt to communicate with the horses.
The woman smiled at me and let out a laugh.
"Meaning... I have to be assured that you won't go running off if I tell you."
We continued walking, crossing the busy street as a car honked for the nth time today. Having lived here for almost 5 months now, I had gotten used to the sound of cars honking and people shouting and screaming across the street.
"Is it bad?" I asked wearily, not wanting push him to tell me thing he wasn't ready to.
"No. I got arrested for being a pious, noble gentleman."
His sarcastic remark put a smile on my face as I didn't bother to hold back my laugh, something that I've seemed to do quite a lot lately.
"You know what I mean."
The small smirk left his lips and he looked at the ground. I could tell he was recalling something from the past because of the way he didn't blink as often as normal.
"Now let's hear something about you."
I was taken aback by that – partly because I didn't expect him to want to know anything about me and partly because I didn't know what to tell him.
"You only answered two questions so I'm only answering two."
He rolled his eyes at my childishness nevertheless agreed.
"What causes your panic attacks?"
I froze.
There is no way in hell I'm ready to open that door.
I quickly wiped off the shock on my face and replaced it with a smug smirk, "Let's just say that something happened in the past which may have taken a toll on me. You're not going to get any details because I have to be assured that you won't go running off if I tell you."
"Always a smartass."
The next 3 or so hours were spent literally just roaming around New York and visiting random places. Before today, I hadn't realized what I felt. I hadn't realized how deep my feelings were towards him. Until today, I hadn't realized that I had hopelessly drowned in Hunter Ashford.
*****
Get dressed. We have one more place to visit
I glanced at the clock in my room.
9:57pm.
Where the hell is he going to take me at 10pm?!
Seeing his text made me think about today. We literally spent the entire morning and afternoon just walking through the streets of the city, trying out different restaurants and talking. It honestly felt so relieving to spend the day with him without arguing or having the image of another girl, ten times prettier than I will ever be, stuck in my mind and worrying that he would rather be with her. Today was the first day that I actually felt like I was something to him. It was the first time I actually felt good enough for him.
That's why I found myself typing a reply.
Give me 20 minutes. It better be worth it
I received a text back within minutes
I'll pick you up. Don't step outside until you see my car parked out front.
Overprotective much?
I scrolled down the contacts on my phone and called the one person I could count on for what to wear.
"Hello?"
Her chirpy voice made me let out a sigh of relief.
"Charlotte? Hey listen. I'm kind of meeting with Hunter right now and I need help on what to wear."
The squeal that she released was enough to tell me that she was as excited as I was nervous.
5 minutes later I was dressed in a pair of dark blue jeans, a white sweater and brown boots with my hair let loose in its natural soft waves.
I applied a light coat of mascara and sprayed some perfume before sitting at the window sill, waiting for the familiar black car to show up outside my house.
Instead, I was greeted by a motorbike pulling in. I watched as the rider revved the engine of the motorbike, which he knew pissed me off. In almost seconds, I was down at the front door, having kissed my sleeping mother on the forehead goodnight. I planned on telling her tomorrow because regardless of the high level of trust that she has in me, it's my responsibility to let her know where I am.
"You look cozy," Was the first thing he said when he saw me.
"Do I really have to put my arms around you?" I asked, taking my seat behind him on the motorbike.
"I brought the bike instead just so you could have yourself pressed against me like you've always wished. I know I'm so selfless. You're welcome."
The playful wink didn't go unnoticed by me.
There was a strange feeling at the pit of my stomach whilst having my arms resting against his hard stomach. His soft breathing was like a lullaby, the gentle movement of his chest almost rocking me to sleep.
"You good?" He asked, taking his foot off the floor and onto the platform.
"Yeah," Without thinking, I lay my head on his back as the night wind blew in my hair, "I'm great."
*****
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