The wyrd sisters, hand in hand,
Strange sisters of the sea and land.
Thus do they go about and around,
Thrice to thine and thrice to mine.
MacBeth ~ Act I
As they walk under the bleachers and into the shade, April ever-so-elegantly slides around her sister in a never-ending dance of light touches and minor course corrections. Unconscious of doing anything unusual, for this is how they have always danced, since the time they first learned to walk together as toddlers. Only when she deems they are far enough out of earshot of the shady lifeguard guy still watching them walk away, does April immediately start in on her special sister.
"What the hell do you think you are doing, May?" April snaps.
"Having a bit of an adventure." May snips back quick. "Why? What the hell do you think you're doing, dummy?"
"You call having an adventure, hanging around the burner bleachers with some strange weirdo guy that you've never met before? Are you seriously freaking insane?" April counters quicker. "Dammit May, that's how stupid girls get kidnapped. Then a bunch of really bad shit happens to them in the back of that rape van you are so fond of mentioning."
"Right, because of all the recent rash of kidnappings, in this hotbed of sex-crime and caravan deviance that is San Fall?" May snorts derisively. "Personally, I blame the circus folk. You just can't trust those crazy carney clowns."
"Don't get all bitchy with me, May. You know dogdamn well what I meant." April intones coldly. "You cannot ever trust guys, but especially not the strange ones."
"I don't trust anyone besides you." May hesitates. "But Lifeguard Darren was a way different kind of strange. I don't know, he was ...strangely cool?"
"Strangely cool, how?" April pushes back.
"You'll see, or hear." May holds up her cell phone. One of the many devices that she uses on a daily basis to record her conversations and observations on her dark life. "I recorded a very nasty little run-in with Slater and that freak Ferret earlier, that was totally not cool. So you're gonna want to listen to this when we get home, cause you're mentioned on here as well. Oh, and there was a third guy with those two freaks, whose voice I didn't recognize."
"That weird lifeguard guy?" April seethes.
"No, he came along a little later and sent them running away," May smirks in remembrance. "He told them to 'kick bricks' or he was going to kick their ass. Then I think he smacked Slater and Ferret around for good measure?"
"Okay, explain all that in a lot more detail." April snaps sharply.
As succinctly as she can May quickly relates the events that transpired between her, the Three Amigos, and Lifeguard Darren. From the inception of when she left the Annex and was apparently followed out by the Freak Squad. To the start of the Freakshow, when she first sat down on the bleachers and they started giving her a hard time. Then shortly thereafter, when Lifeguard Darren stepped into the fray, right up to the end when her sister came to find her.
"I am sofa king gonna burn Slater and Ferret to ash for that shit when school starts." May's sinister sister seethes darkly.
"Easy Cujo, nothing much happened thanks to Lifeguard Darren." May smiles a little to wistfully for her sisters taste. "It was just a bunch of super stupid boy bullshit. So forget about all that noise and just stick to the master plan. We don't need any more enemies than we already have in mind for this year."
"You're right ..and you're wrong. I always have room in my heart for more enemies." April grudgingly concedes the point. "But I'll admit that was almost cool of the stupid lifeguard guy to step up for you with Ferret and the freaks."
"Seriously," May smirks. "And he was cute too, wasn't he?"
"Meh." April hedges slightly. "He was alright, I suppose."
"Oh, just alright? Please?" May snorts in retort. "I've heard you around guys that were just 'all right', and you don't talk like that, at all. I could tell in your tone of voice as soon as you walked up that you thought he was hot enough to put on your second cutest fake personality for. You know the one where your voice gets all super saccharine sweet and you break out your super fake girlie giggles."
"Okay fine, I admit he was slightly sorta better than alright, at first." April grudgingly admits. "Right up until he opens his stupid mouth and all that special bullshit come out ...then not so much."
"Hmmm? I'm pretty sure he was just messing with you." May smirks. "I think that was him trying to be funny?"
"Ha...ha...ha." April drones dryly. "He's sofa king funny I almost forgot to laugh."
"So can you describe him for me?" May nudges her sister's shoulder.
"Who?" April feigns obviously.
"Don't be stupid, you know who." May pushes back.
"Oh right, your new little loser bleacher buddy, the lame lifeguard guy?" April muses. "Well, let me see? Yeah...he's a guy. So the usual two arms, two legs, and what I can only assume are a pair of stones between his bones big enough to take on Ferret and the Freakshow. What more do you need to know?"
"Com'on April seriously, enough with all the man-hate. Can you just tell me what he looked like already, please?" May sighs in irritation.
"From head to toe in detail, or just first impression stuff?" April grudgingly agrees to play the game that they have always played.
"I already have a first impression of him in my head, I just want to see how closely it matches yours." May begins the old light and dark game between them. What dark hears, light must describe in detail. Conversely what light sees, dark must describe in sounds.
"Fine." April sighs, already knowing that her sister is not gonna let this go. "If I had to guess, he's taller than us by a half a foot. So he's maybe six feet tall'ish? Pretty muscular arms, but not bulky built like football buff. More like a V-shaped musculature, with wide shoulders that taper down to a narrower waist. I think that's what they call a 'swimmer's physique', obviously from all the lifeguarding over retards."
"Which in case you were wondering, he was actually wearing a lame lifeguard outfit thing. The T-shirt that says Lifeguard and those super cute puffy bright red Bay Watch swimming trunks. Which is why I didn't immediately flip out on him. Cause I thought you got hurt again and he was helping you ...or whatever?"
"Oh, Lifeguard Darren is definitely a helper." May snorts. "What else?"
"Educated guess under that shirt live awesome abs." Aprils sighs in irritation. "And he has a nice butt, the round firm kind, that's good for grabbing onto as he is thrusting himself up in you. Impaling your secret self against his massive manhood, deep up into your sacred primal princess places..."
"Omigod April WTF!?!" May bursts out laughing so hard she breaks into snortles. "You seriously have to give up those horny highlander pirate romance books. They're seriously warping your mind."
"Oh trust, my mind was warped way before I started reading Outlander." April snorts in agreement.
"And what else?" May pushes.
"And what else, what?" April sighs, all put out for effect.
"What was his face like?" May inquires sweetly.
"It was whatever." April shrugs into her sister's shoulder. "So he has long loser no-style hair, that he wears pulled up. Into what I can only assume is a moppy looking lame hipster brony tail thing. It looks strawberry blonde, but more strawberry than blonde, darker on the roots and lighter on the ends. Not that it helps you in any way to know that particular detail obviously."
"Oh, obviously." May retorts back dryly.
"He's pretty suntanned, with a clear complexion and a dappling of freckles across high cheekbones. Strong square jaw that you can't help but to want to punch shut. A straight Scandinavian nose, that I wouldn't mind breaking with a ballpin hammer. Oh, and he tends to knife up his left eyebrow when he talks. Especially when he thinks he's being clever or whatever. Which he is sofa king not..."
"So your need for violence aside, what's the most remarkable thing about him?" May pushes the point.
"His eyes ...most definitely his eyes." April pauses and May can hear the frown in her voice. "His eyes are set in deep under that boney brow, that looks like they're in a constant scowling mode. His eyes are green but not like grass green, more like dark, stormy deep sea green."
"But it's not the color that strikes you at first, well not me anyways? I don't know what it is exactly, but there's something about his eyes that is just ...off somehow?" April drifts to find the right words for the forlorn feeling. "I know this is gonna sound totally lame? But his eyes are not soft or kind eyes. They're the kind of soulless eyes, I think those old poet people would describe as haunted or haunting whatever? Like the lights are on, but no one's home ...sept for all them ghosts."
"You're just making that up." May snortles along with her sister.
"Honestly, I am totally not." April counters back as they turn the corner to face their fears.
Suddenly her sister's finger skitters down the inside of May's arm and slows her gait down. The sensation feels just like a spider skittering across her skin, as The Spyder is one of the nicer names they call their mother.
"What is it? What is she doing?" May lowers her voice, for she knows the tactile warning all too well.
"She's parked in handicapped parking, and she's chain-smoking again. She's got that pinchy pissed off face going hardcore, like she been waiting for a while? And you know how much mommy just loves to wait for anything?" April intones hollowly. "So one of us is going to have to take the fall for being late, and making her wait."
"Crapola." May steels herself determined. "Okay, I'll take the fall. I'll just tell her it's all my fault, that I was talking to Lifeguard Darren about ...maybe taking a first-aid class? And I just lost track of time again, until you had to come and find me."
"You're so not serious with that shit right now, are you?" April hisses sideways through her tightly clenched smile. "No way in hell The Spyder is gonna buy that you're taking some first-aid class bullshit."
"Why not?" May retorts back coldly. "Who knows, just maybe that first aide stuff will save my life someday. Like the next time she decides to lose her shit and tries to murderize me by shoving me down the stairs in my sleep."
"Seriously, someone should push that bitch down some stairs one of these days, just for fun. Let's see how she likes waking up in the hospital all broken." April seethes. "God, I'd love to see Momster on a feeding tube for a while."
"Then you can blame me for that too." May intones coldly. "Oopsie, mah bad! So sorry Spyder, I didn't see you standing there on the top stair."
"Well, they do say most deadly accidents happen right in the home." April muses brightly. "And you know what the Buddhist say, right May'may?"
"Yeah ...better luck next time, bitch." May finishes the thought darkly, and both Grimm sisters silently smirk in mutual agreement as to the dark fate that awaits.