Wow. I just realized that this book has reached over 8 million reads in a little over half a year. This wouldn't have been possible if not for everyone who has been continuously reading and waiting for the chapters. Thank you so much for being a part of Ethan and Lucille's crazy, roller coaster love. <3 I love you all so so so much :] As a thanks of Happy 8-million reads, here's a long chapter for you all!
*Warning: unedited. May contain a lot of grammatical errors like all my other chapters LOL. Enjoy! :]
Lucille's POV
The atmosphere was awkward as Ethan and I ate breakfast. We were both just poking at our food without actually eating it.
"I-," we both said at the same time.
We both laughed, but it was a more like a sad, dreadful laugh. Not a happy one like the ones from last night.
"You go first" Ethan said.
I nod and put my fork down.
"I, This..." I looked up to Ethan. God, why does he look so sexy even when he just stares at me? I shook my head. I had to say it.
Ethan tilted his head.
"I think we should go home," I finally said. I took a deep breath and looked up to see Ethan's response.
"I think so too," he said calmly. I was surprised. I was expecting some kind of objection like yesterday. Something like, No, we can't go yet. If we go back, we won't have this anymore... Without realizing it, there was that bit of hope for that response, but I knew that couldn't happen. We both had to go back.
"I really don't want to, but what can we do?" Ethan said with a sad look in his face. "Reality, huh?"
"I hate it." I say.
"I do too..."
We both got up. Ethan intertwined his hand with mine's and kissed the top of it. "Let's go..." was the last thing he said before we left the hotel.
In about 1 hour, we were back home and in front of my house.
"Are you sure you don't want me to go in with you?" Ethan asked.
I nod my head. "Yeah...I have to talk to my mom alone. It's best that way..." I gave an assuring smile.
"Okay..." Ethan squeezed my hand. "Call me if..." he says worriedly.
"I will" I cut him off.
He nods and stares out the window. I look too, and see my mom in front of the door. She looked like she hadn't slept in years even though its only been two days.
"I guess that's my cue" I joke.
Ethan didn't laugh or smile. He gave my hand another squeeze and kissed my forehead. I gave him a last smile and got out the car. When he drives away, I slowly walk up to my mom.
I look down and stare at my shoes.
"I'm sorry--" I say, but was cut off with my mom's arms wrapped around me. She was hugging me tight.. and crying?
"Where have you been? I've been worried sick!" she cries out.
"Mom..."
"I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have yelled at you" she pulls away and I could see her face stained with tears. I was shocked. I was expecting her to be furious and yelling at me even more, but she was apologizing?
"Mom..." I repeat, just so surprised.
"The other day I got carried away. I freaked out when I saw you in that video and said things I shouldn't have"
"Its okay..." I say unsurely.
"No, its not. You're my baby girl. My only baby. I didn't mean to hurt you even more than you probably were" she held my shoulders as she caressed my cheeks. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. " she hugged me again. I hug her back. "God, I didn't think you'd run away. I was so scared you were lost with no food and no place to sleep..."
I pull away and give a sincere smile.
"I'm okay, Mom. And I... I'm sorry too Mom. Those words I said..."
She shakes her head.
"No, no...you were right. I'm never here. God, I'm a bad liar and make promises I can't keep. Without your dad, I've been such a mess, haven't I?"
I quickly shake my head. "No! No, mom. You've been perfect. I-- I just give you a hard time..."
She smiles in relief. "I'm still trying to get there. Let's go in..."
I nod. At the door, I see April. I hug her tight when I get to her.
"Hey!"
April just hugs me even tighter.
"Are you okay?" she asks worried.
"I'm okay..." I say.
"Good, cause if you weren't I'd kill you!" We both laugh.
We all get inside. I go upstairs to wash up.
April's sitting on the bed as I get out of the bathroom and into my room.
"Hey..." she says, softly.
"Hey..." I say as I sit next to her. "I'm sorry for leaving so suddenly and not telling you..."
She shakes her head. "No, I should be the one apologizing"
I tilt my head.
"Why?" I asked confused.
"I have to go back now because my mom's in the hospital right now." " she says with a sorry look.
"Oh my God. I'm sorry. What happened?"
"Nothing serious, but my family needs me back right now."
I nod. "Of course you have to go. When's your flight?"
"Tonight...technically last night, but I needed to see you before I go back so I exchanged my ticket. I wanted to wait until you came back and see if you were okay."
I hug her. "I'm gonna miss you"
"When everything's better, I'll be back. I promise" she says.
"No, don't worry about me. Your family needs you more than me."
"Thank you..." I whispered.
"It's been my pleasure, my beautiful best friend. Call me if you need anything especially if you need to complain about that boy of yours, but don't let him hurt you more than he had before, promise?"
I pull away and nod my head.
"Promise." I reply with tears forming in my eyes. I hug her again. "Oh, I'm gonna miss you."
"Me too, Luce. Me too"
I send April out as her relatives come to pick her up. How bad as a friend am I? I feel like I'm a horrible one. She comes to help me, but I couldn't do much for her and now she's gone. I sigh.
"Luce..." my mom calls me. I turn to her in worry. I knew the earlier conversation wasn't over. The real one was about to start. "We still need to talk about... everything"
I nod. We both go sit down on the couch.
"About Ethan..."
I look at my mom with worry about what she was going to say.
"Honey, he's not good for you." she says.
"Mom... I thought you apologizing earlier..."
"I was not apologizing earlier for Ethan. I don't like him, not at all."
"Mom!"
"Remember last year, you said he was such a cute boy but you didn't understand all the fuss about that, I recall you specifically naming him, "Egghead, cocky, heartless girl eating monster. Didn't you?"
I look down at my hands. She was right. "But that was then mom, this is--"
"Now? What if it suddenly becomes now, huh? He's only using you and when he's done, he'll go his way and he won't come back, no matter how much you want him to"
"But, all those times you were so nice to him...before I told you...?"
"They were my mistakes. I wanted you to be able to finally talk to him. Have your mind changed about him. Teach you that people can be different than how you think, but when I realized he was merely using you. I, I was wrong. This boy, wasn't different than how you thought."
"But, he is, mom! You were right! He's different! You proved me wrong, mom! Why are you changing your mind now?"
"I was wrong! Honey, please, just listen to me.. and break off whatever you have with him!" she said, calmly.
Tears were rolling down my face. I didn't want to fight with her again. Maybe she was right. Maybe, he wasn't so different...to others... but to me, he is different! Though I tried to deny it these past months, when Ethan stood up to his father, I confirmed who he was. He was the Ethan I loved, wanted, and needed. However, April was also right. I needed to mended my family, my only family, my mom. Suddenly, my face was wet with tears.
"Oh honey...please just believe me" my mom hugged me tightly as I sobbed into her chest.
Ethan's POV
I sigh as I put the key in the keyhole. Here's to more yelling, I thought. I open the door and could see my parents sitting in the living room.
"Ethan!" my mom said as she got up to hug me. "Are you okay?"
I just nod my head. I turn my attention to my real enemy.
"Let us talk, honey." My father says to my mom. She looks at me worried, but gives me a hand squeeze and leaves .
"Where the hell have you been?" My father gets up and yells at me.
"Why does it matter?" I say, annoyed.
"Do you know what lie I had to tell to make sure they didn't kill you for missing practicing?"
"Kill? Really, dad? Aren't you exaggerating too much?"
"That's what will happen if you keep up with this act of yours! Are you crazy? Fine, if you don't want to be Heather, we can fix that! But, skipping school to be with that useless girl, especially practice!"
"She's not useless!" I reply in anger. "She's the one that's going to help me get that scholarship. She's more important than anyone!"
"Okay, she's going to help get your grades up, but then what? That's all you need her for, so leave her as the tutor which all she needs to be to you! Tell me! Is she going to pay you for all the work you've been putting in these past four years? Is she the one that's going to give you the success you've been getting until she came along? Tell me, son."
"So what if I don't get the same success? I don't need that scholarship. Colleges will still want me! I don't need you either. I've made it this far while you've been sitting on your ass"
He just scoffs and chuckles.
"Really? Let's see you continue succeeding on your own then!"
"Don't worry, I will!"
"Hate me if you want to, but I created you and made you the best that you are right now, and once you give that up, you'll be the useless one!"
He walks past me and just before he walks away, he whispers, "You've came this far! Don't let some stupid, one-time fling throw you into the dumpster."
I kick the couch in anger. What the fuck do I do now?
"Ethan." I hear my mom call me. I turn to face her. Without a word, she just hugs me. It was like she was trying to tell me everything would be okay, but it wasn't. Nothing was going to be okay now.
I went to my room and punched the wall. How did everything turn so complicated?
I needed to hear Lucille's voice.
The ringing felt like forever just to hear her voice.
"Hello?" she answered. I cleared my throat.
"Hey..." I say, trying to sound calm.
"Hey..." she responds.
"Um, how'd it go with your mom?"
"Good. " she said. I knew she was lying. I heard it in her tone. "What about with your parents?"
"Good" I lied too.
There was silence.
"I miss you already." I say.
"Don't say that" she said with a sniffle. Was she crying?
"Why?" I asked in confusion.
"Just don't say that..."
"But I do."
"You make it sound like I won't see you again."
"I'm sorry, I won't say it. What do you want me to say then?"
"I don't know. Tell me happy things"
"Like last night?" I chuckled.
I hear her giggle. It felt good to hear that laugh of her's.
"I feel like we just came back from a honeymoon to a nightmare" she says.
I don't say anything. I wish I could say something different, but I felt the same. We were in the worst nightmare possible.
"Tomorrow..." I say to change the subject.
"Hm?"
"Nothing. Never mind."
"Okay." She sounded disappointed.
There was another silence. I didn't like this. I hated it, but there were just so many things to figure out and I didn't know where to start exactly.
"Um... I have to go. I'll talk to you later." I hang up and close my eyes.
The Next Day
(at School)
Lucille's POV
I felt stares at me as I walked through the halls to my locker. Heather's glare was the strongest. She obviously hated me. I took a deep breathe and continued to my locker without trying to make any eye contact. I put my books in my locker and just stood with my head in my locker for a bit. I couldn't get the phone call with Ethan last night out of my head. There wasn't much said, but there was so much felt, and it didn't feel good. I knew last night he wanted to tell me something, but decided against it. What was it? I wanted to talk to him too, but he ended the phone call so quick I didn't even get the chance. What's happening with us? I don't like this awkward feeling between us at all.
"Hey Lucille!" A voice breaks me out of my thoughts. I turn around to face...Theo.
Surprised, I quickly grab my stuff and close the locker. I push past him to walk away, but he grabs my arm. I flinch in pain.
"Sorry." Theo apologized as he pulled his arm away. "Can we please talk?"
I just warily looked at him. "I can't.."
"Please... Lucille. I really am sorry about the day at the game."
I shook my head. "I have to go." I quickly say as I walked away as fast as possible.
Throughout the day, I didn't see Ethan at all. He didn't even respond back to my texts and he wasn't in class either. When lunch came, I went to wait for him at our secret pathway in hopes that he would come.
I was sitting and poking at the dirt when I heard footsteps. I looked up hoping it was Ethan, but it wasn't. It was, Heather and her posse. I get up. They were walking closer towards me. I slowly take a step backwards when suddenly one of Heather's posse pulled me from behind. She kept a firm grip on me.
"How was your honeymoon, Loosy?" one of Heather's girls snickered. I was scared. What was she going to do to me? Heather walked closer and stood in front of me. At first, she just stared at me with her b.it.ch face, but then she slapped me as hard as she could. I fell to the ground. She kneeled down and pulled my hair.
"I thought I told you to stay away from Ethan. You just don't listen, do you? I guess that's what happens when you have no father."
I looked up at her in anger as I tried to get out of the girl's hold. She had no right to talk about my father!
"I gave you so many chances, so why don't you take this last chance to actually listen, okay, honey?" Heather said in her fake b.t.c.h tone. She was about to hit me again when someone called my name.
"LUCILLE!" We all turn to see Theo running towards us. Heather lets go of my hair and pats my cheeks before she walks off with her posse.
I try to get up from the ground, but my legs have turned weak. There were tears streaming down my face too.
"Lucille, are you okay?" Theo says as he reaches me and tries to help me get up. I pull my arm away.
"Don't touch me." I say coldly.
"Lucille..."
I don't look at Theo and continue to try to get up, but my strength has been killed. Theo tries to help me again.
"I said, don't touch me!" I lightly shout this time.
He steps back and I could hear him sigh in disbelief.
"Only Ethan can help you?"
I ignore him and finally pulled all my strength to get up.
"You're hurt, but where is he now? Tell me, Luce!"
"Don't call me that!"
"God, I'm sorry I hurt you at the game! I'm trying so hard to apologize here, why don't you just try to listen?"
I give a look of disbelief to him and walk past him.
"Ethan doesn't care for you! He's using you like he's using all the other girls. Soon, when he's done with you, he'll throw you to the curb like everyone else. He doesn't care for anyone but himself. Selfish people like Heather and Ethan are meant for each other! You deserve better than this. Someone who actually loves you!"
I snicker. "Someone like you? If Ethan is really that horrible, then you're no different."
More tears were falling. I quickly wipe them and walk away.
I go to the rest of my classes hiding my face. When school is over, I head to work as fast as possible. I wanted to get away from school so much right now.
"Are you okay? Your eyes look swollen." my manager asked me when I got to work.
"I'm okay" I lie. "It's just been a long day."
I could see she didn't believe me, but nodded her head anyways.
During my break, I went outside to call my mother. I was going to be home late because I decided to cover a co-worker's shift.
"Yeah, Mom. I'll call you if anything...Love you too." I hang up the phone. I was trying really hard to mend everything with my mom. I didn't want another big fight to happen with my mom again. She was the only family I really had left. I couldn't lose her too. I turn around to head back to the cafe, but I met eyes with Ethan instead.
"Luce..."
I stood still in my spot. I clenched my fist in hopes that my tears wouldn't roll out. If I cried, he would definitely know something was wrong and I really didn't want to trouble him with stupid problems from Heather. I most definitely couldn't let Ethan see me break down. I gulped my saliva.
"Hey..." I say.
I must have failed miserably with my cover up because without a word, he just hugged me. And like before all the happiness, I broke down like a baby.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Luce." Ethan hugged me tightly.
I held onto him tighter. I sobbed even more onto his jacket.
"What did she do?"
I shook my head.
Ethan tried to pull me away, but I held on tight. I didn't want him to see my crying face.
"Luce, please tell me so I can fix this! I swear to God-"
I squeezed his waist and held on tight.
"No, don't do anything!" I say.
"Luce, she has to learn to -"
"No, please. Just hold me."
He sighs in frustration and hugs me again.
"Baby, I'm so sorry..."
After a bit, I pull away. Ethan held onto the sides of my arms. I saw the angry look on his face. He wiped the tears off my face.
"Tell me..."
I just continue to look at him. I didn't know if I should to him. Would it make him angrier?
"Either way, I'm going to find out." he says as I think.
He was right. I nod. I held his face and kissed his lips.
"After work... I have to cover someone's shift first."
"No, you don't!" I hear my manager say. We both turn to look at her. "Go home, Luce!" She hands me my stuff and nods for me to get going.
"But, I promised-"
"We'll be fine, sweetie. Go fix yourself first!" she gives a small smile.
"Thanks..." I gave an unsure smile back. She nods and goes back into the cafe. I look back to Ethan. He was still angry. I grabbed his hand gently and we got into his car.
"You can tell me now...," Ethan said as he was driving.
I looked down on my lap. "It was nothing--"
"It was something. You said you'd tell me!" Ethan slowly raised his voice.
His tone caught me by surprise which made me shiver a little. I look at him cautiously.
"I'm sorry. I-I need to know. I can't keep letting Heather do this to us."
"Fine, I'll tell you if you tell me where you were today first."
"Why does that matter?"
"I didn't see you at school at all today. You didn't answer my texts at all! I was worried," I said, concerned.
"You don't need to know. It's not important." He kept his eyes straight on the road without looking at me when he said that.
I felt a tiny pain in my chest. He said it like I wasn't important enough to know. I thought we were moving past this secret life, but I guess I was wrong.
"Stop the car," I said.
"What?" he asked surprised.
"I said stop the car!" I say, frustrated.
"No! I'm not letting you out if you don't tell me what Heather did!"
Without thinking, I grabbed the wheel. It was a crazy thing for me to do, but I needed to get out of the car. I felt suffocated.
"Are you crazy?" Ethan yelled. He braked onto the side of the road. "Are you trying to kill the both of us?"
"Maybe Theo's right! Maybe you and Heather are perfect for each other!" I shouted angrily. I undid my seatbelt and got out of the car.
"What?! You talked to Theo? Didn't I tell you to stay away from him!"
I started walking away from him.
"What the hell did he say?"
"It doesn't matter, but if you really want to know, he said selfish people like you and Heather are meant for each other and maybe he's right...maybe you should go and be with Heather since she's the perfect one for you!" I yelled as I walked straight down the side walk.
Ethan ran up to me and pulled my arm. He turned me around to face him.
"And you're listening to him? Don't you know they're all just trying to break us apart?" he said, disappointed. "When did you see him? "
"When he was saving me when you weren't here today!" I shouted with tears in my eyes.
He slowly let go of my arm with an apologetic face. I look away.
"I'm sorry. I know I should've been there to protect you..."
"If you want to protect me, then just tell me where you were today!"
"It doesn't matter!"
I was even more frustrated now. He tells me he's sorry, but he can't even tell me where he was today.
"Then why does what Heather did to me matter?" I shouted back.
"It does! She hurt you! I'm suppose to protect you... not Theo. I should've..." he combs back in frustration.
I walk up to him and hold onto his face even with the tears still rolling down my face.
"You always do, Ethan. I don't care if you were there or not. Why can't you just tell me where you were today?"
"Because it's not the where... its the why..." Ethan doesn't look at me when he says that.
"I don't care what it is. Just tell me." I keep my hold on his face.
"I skipped school to practice..."
"And why couldn't you just tell me that?"
"Because..." he looks at me.
I give him an assuring look to tell him that whatever reason it was, I was going to be okay.
"My dad wants me to break up with you..."
I let go of my hold on his face and step back in shock.
"I told him I wouldn't so now he's not supporting me anymore. All those connections, I don't need them anymore. I just have to practice harder. That's why I skipped school, to practice more."
I didn't say anything for awhile. His dad stopped supporting him because of me? Did I really make things difficult for him? Did I really ruin Ethan's life? If he didn't get that scholarship, would it be my fault? I look back up to him.
"Would it be better for you, if we do break up...?" I asked with fear in my heart.
"Of course not. Nothing's better without you," Ethan said as he pulled me in.
I wanted to believe that, but somehow I knew those words weren't the truth.
I buried my face into his chest and wrapped my arms around his waist.
"Why can't they just leave us alone?" I muffled into his chest.
"Is it so wrong to love?"
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