Warning: There are a lot of POV changes. Sorry about that...
Emma
Everything has changed. My feelings towards Harry, the way I look at him. He isn't just some boy that I met and became friends with anymore. He is a friend that I'm starting to see in a new light and I'm scared because I don't think this kind of feeling is one to come and go easily. I think it's here to stay for a while, and that's not something that I am used to.
I'm not used to feeling this way about any one. For the longest time I have forced any kind of emotion like that away simply because it is best if I don't become attached, for both myself and the other person. But it's becoming far to hard to ignore my feelings towards Harry. All I want to do is give in even though I know it is not a possibility. It is honestly in Harry's best interest if he never finds out that I may like him more than a friend.
Harry, though... he's just so different. He makes me smile when I don't want to. He can hold an intellectual conversation with me, as opposed to one that consists only his music or my surfing escapades. I feel like he sees the real me and accepts me for who I am, whoever that may be. It's for these reasons and so many more that I want to just let go of my past and never look back.
"Earth to Emma?" Harry asks as he gently nudges my arm, luring me out of the depths of my thoughts.
"Where have I heard that one before?" I question back, attempting to sound happier than I am. But my voice still sounds hollow, even to me.
Because it doesn't matter that I will see Harry in a couple of weeks; I don't want to say goodbye to the only guy who has been able to sneak past my defenses.
"Haven't got the faintest idea, kitten," he smiled, and I smiled back without hesitation.
"Oh I'm sure," I teased him playfully, gently pushing at his massive bicep.
Harry pretended to stumble sideways which led to him actually tripping over his own large feet and falling flat on his butt. He looked up at me in surprise and I burst out laughing at his ridiculous facial expression, clutching my sides desperately. No more than a second later I heard Harry's deep laughter mix with mine.
"That wasn't supposed to happen," he smiled as he stood up from the floor.
"Uh huh, sure Haz, I believe you," I told him as I wiped a few tears from my eyes and let out one last chuckle.
"No you don't," he pouted.
"You're right, I don't. But even so, that pretty much made my day," I giggled.
"You're evil, you know that?" he said smiling once again.
"I do actually. It's on my resume," I joked.
Harry laughed and picked me up in his arms, spinning me around and around. I squealed in delight and soon after began laughing again.
"Harry! Put me down!" I managed to say through my laughter.
"Never!" he shouted, laughing as well.
When he finally put me down, I playfully smacked his arm and crossed my arms over my chest.
"Who's the evil one now? Coz it isn't me!" I asked.
"Me," Harry smiled proudly, showing off his adorable dimples. If it weren't for those dimples, Harry might stand a chance at convincing me that he was really evil.
"Why don't we go and see what Natalie and Niall are doing?" I suggested.
"They're probably sucking each other's faces off," Harry pointed out.
"More than likely, so let's go annoy them!" I said, grabbing one of Harry's hands,dragging him towards Natalie and Niall while trying to ignore the electricity I felt running through my veins from his touch.
Anna
"So how long do you think it'll be before Emma and Harry end up going together?" Louis asked me as we discreetly watched the two mess with one another.
"I'd say soon enough. I know that look on Emma's face, she was thinking about something important and she's had that look on her face ever since she got back from Paris with Harry. She's got to be thinking about him. Do you know if anything happened in Paris?" I asked Louis in return.
"Harry said they kissed once," Louis said, smiling as he watched his best friend spin Emma around in his arms.
"Oh my god! That's what she's been thinking so hard about! No wonder... but wait, that doesn't make sense, she should be happy. Unless... Damn it, Emma!" I said, stomping my foot.
"What?" Louis asked me.
"She turned him down, didn't she?" I asked, growing frustrated.
"Yeah, she did," Louis said quietly.
"I need to smack some sense into that stupid girl!" I nearly growled.
"Why?"
"Because she is being stubborn and over thinking things! Damn it, I should have seen this coming," I mumbled to myself.
"What are you going on about?" Louis asked as he looked at me, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
"Nothing that I am allowed to talk about," I huffed as I crossed my arms over my chest.
"I'm so lost right now," he said shaking his head, pinching the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger.
"I know, Lou. Come on, lettuce leaf!" I said dragging him towards the other four.
"Why are you so weird?" Louis asked me.
"Why are you so sassy?" I retorted.
"I don't know," he shrugged his shoulders.
"Neither do I."
"Okay then," Louis said just going along with it, shoving his hands into his pockets.
Emma
"Flight 129B is now boarding."
"And commence the last minute make out session," I breathed, turning away from Natalie and Niall. Harry, Anna and Louis doing the same.
"Well I guess this is goodbye though," Anna said with a small frown. "I'm going to miss you guys," she said as she pulled us all into a group hug.
I felt Harry and Louis each wrap an arm around me. Harry's arm was wrapped around my waist, causing butterflies to erupt in the pit of my stomach. We all squeezed one another tightly before letting go so we could breathe again.
"I'll miss you guys too, tell Liam and Zayn goodbye and give them a big hug for me," I said as I pushed a strand of hair that had fallen from my messy bun, behind my ear.
"We will. Bye Anna, bye Emma," Harry said, trying to disguise the sorrow in his tone.
"Bye Harry," I replied with a sad smile. I turned to Louis and said goodbye to him as well, before turning to see if Natalie and Niall had finished their goodbye. They weren't and Natalie looked like she was on the verge of tears. I glanced over at Anna and saw her looking sadly at Natalie too. We both felt really sorry for her. She was always having to leave the love of her life behind.
Harry
I watched Emma look at Natalie with sorrow in her eyes. My heart gave a painful thump and without another thought, I reached out and wrapped my hand around Emma's wrist. This was my last chance to say a proper goodbye to Emma.
Her watery blue eyes flashed towards me, instantly locking with mine. I opened my mouth then closed it again, unsure of what to say. Emma tilted her head a fraction to my right causing a loose strand of her silky blond hair to fall out of place. I slowly lifted my free hand to the side of her face and brushed the stubborn strand of hair behind her ear. A small smile graced my face as she closed her eyes and leaned into my hand.
I bent my head down and heard her breath catch. I leaned in all the way and pressed my cheek to hers, slowly sliding my hands down her arms and around her waist. She exhaled deeply and her arms flew up, wrapping around my neck and shoulders, holding on for dear life. I tightened my arms around her, securing her body flush against mine and burying my face in her hair.
We stood there for another minute before I felt Emma hesitantly pull away from me, just far enough so that our eyes could meet.
"I have to go," she whispered. I let my arms slowly drop from around her and she grabbed my hands before they could reach my sides. She gripped them tightly, raised up on her tip toes, and leaned in. I dared not breathe.
Emma
I gripped onto Harry's hands tightly and raised up onto the tips of my toes. I breathed shakily and leaned in. His eyes searched mine and vice versa. I leaned in the rest of the way and placed a gentle, lingering kiss on his cheek.
"Goodbye, Harry," I whispered, my heart pounding as I pulled away, all the way this time. Our eyes locked and I reached down to the floor, picking up my carry on, all the while maintaining eye contact. I straightened and we stood there just staring at each other for another few seconds.
I reluctantly closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and turned away from the curly-haired boy. I opened my eyes and took one step forward, then another. Natalie and Anna fell into step with me and together the three of us walked to the tunnel that would lead us to the plane. Right before we lost sight of them for the next three weeks, Natalie abruptly turned around.
"I love you!" she yelled as loud as she could.
"I love you too!" Niall yelled back, laughing.
I stopped to glance back at Harry over my shoulder giving him one last smile. When he saw my smile he immediately returned it and I faced forward again, releasing the breath I didn't realize I had been holding. I looked over to Natalie as she turned back around and wiped away a tear that was trailing down her cheek.
"It gets harder to leave him every time," she whispered to Anna and I.
"Oh sweetie," Anna cooed as she pulled Nat into a side hug. "Everything will be okay."
Oh how wrong she was... when it came to me at least, even though she was talking to Natalie. And Natalie is fine, she's focusing her energy on taking up boxing again and learning a new song on the guitar. I on the other hand am not doing so well. Between stressing out over Vick (unnecessarily might I add) and trying to fight my feelings towards Harry I have begun to feel like I am drowning.
I haven't been able to sleep, and I haven't been able to eat thanks to my growing anxiety. The only time I manage to escape my thoughts is when I'm out on the ocean, surfing. So I thank my lucky stars that my job involves surfing and a lot of it. I was lucky enough to snag a job as a surfing instructor at the local surf shop. But every day at seven p.m. my shift ends and my torture ensues.
Tonight, just over a week after leaving London, my thoughts are running more rampant than usual. It's gotten to the point where it feels as if my bedroom walls are closing in on me and I'm drowning once more. Not knowing what else I could do to relieve myself of this feeling, I got up from bed and threw my maroon converse on before leaving the appartment Natalie and I share.
The midnight moon was the only light I was provided with as I walked along the cracked sidewalk. I didn't really notice the names of the streets that I wandered up and down, but rather the stars in the night sky. I quickly found the few constellations that I knew and tried to find interesting clusters of stars to keep my mind preoccupied. It apparently worked because I didn't realize how long I had been walking until I saw the earliest rays of pink sunlight form on the horizon.
I had walked around absentmindedly all night long and I still wasn't tired. As I really took in my surroundings I found myself in Grand Park, which was located on the other side of L.A. from my apartment. Spotting an old wooden bench, I walked over to it and sat down. The early morning had the world in a peaceful state, and I loved how quiet everything was. A few joggers were out running before it got too hot, and a few people were already heading to work so they wouldn't get caught in the traffic jam later in the morning, but besides that it was peaceful. I sighed in contentment as I watched the sun rise until I felt my phone vibrating relentlessly in my pocket.
"Hello," I answered with another sigh that I'm pretty sure was a disguised yawn.
"Hey, Em. Is everything okay?" Harry asked me, sounding a little distraught.
"Of course, why wouldn't it be?" I replied, while I slouched back on the bench.
"I received a text from Natalie about two hours ago. She said you had left your flat in the middle of the night and haven't been home since. It's got to be about six in the morning there right?"
"It is, but don't worry about me Harry. Everything is fine. I just needed a little air. One thing, if you received a text from Nat two hours ago, why are you just calling me now?"
"I was at a signing," Harry answered with a slight yawn.
"I can tell, you sound exhausted," I told him while I began chewing on the inside of my cheek.
It felt amazing talking to Harry and being able to hear his slow, raspy voice again. I haven't spoken to him at all since we left London, and I didn't realize just how badly I missed his voice until now. And now that I have, the ache in my heart seems to be swelling, so much that I feel like it is going to burst right out of my chest.
"Surprisingly enough you don't, even after being awake all night," Harry mused.
"I'm getting there slowly. I walked halfway across Los Angeles. Pretty sure Natalie is going to have to pick me up if I'm ever going to make it home," I sighed as I ran a hand through my hair.
"Then how about I let you go and you call Natalie so she can pick you up," Harry suggested, laughing softly.
"I'll call her after the sunrise. We'll talk soon, Haz," I promised.
"Okay, Em. It was lovely to hear your voice again. Good... morning?" he replied.
"Yeah, it's a good morning. Bye Harry." I hung up before Harry could say anything else.
I sent a quick text to Natalie telling her where I was and asked if she could pick me up. She replied instantly with a yes. Then with a smile and a quiet sigh I turned my face back to the rising sun and for the first time in a week it felt like I was treading water, rather than drowning.
Harry
I feel exhausted and elated all at once, all because of her melodic voice. I don't think I will ever get tired of hearing her talk. Her voice is so soft, yet at the right times can hold such strong emotion. I can't help but get mesmerized by it.
And to be honest, I don't know if I believe Emma or not. She says she is fine, but it doesn't really seem like it. I mean come on, who do you know that goes out for a walk at midnight to get a little air and ends up wandering around for six hours? Nobody, unless something is really bothering them. After living with Emma for two and a half months I'd like to be able to think that I can tell when something is bothering her.
If there is something little that she is stressed about she tends to chew on her lip or the inside of her cheek and stare off into space. But if it is something big, she really withdraws. Emma will go and hide out in her room and engross herself in book after book, ignoring reality and living in a fantasy. Another thing is she won't talk to you. Not just me, but everybody including Anna and Natalie. In that aspect she seems to be worse than Natalie, because at least Nat seems to slowly tell you in bits and pieces where Emma doesn't say a single word.
It can get a bit aggravating at times but I just have to be patient. It will all work out in the end, it has to. Whether she becomes my girlfriend or not, I will break down her barriers and get her to tell me everything. From who Carmichael is, to why her parents don't visit her anymore, to what makes her so... Emma.
I want to know her, all of her.