The past few weeks have been going by really slowly. It's barley October and I've already lost interest in all my classes. I really can't wait until I graduate next year.
I haven't talked to Bella much except for when we're at her house. She's always with Ryan, always talking to Ryan, always thinking of Ryan. I feel like Ryan is stealing my best friend.
I haven't gotten to see Jacob either except for at the house. We pretty much just text each other under the table all the time. Then again I can't do anything because we're not public yet. Are we even gonna tell people ever? It would be so weird for his mom, sister, and brother to find out about us. Well have to tell them eventually though.
As far as Rayan, he ignored me ever since. He would always look at me from a distance with this disappointed face. I do feel really bad about what happened, but everytime I go to apologize he's in a hurry to get away from me.
I make my way into the lunch room and see the usual at my table. Bella and Ryan sucking each other's faces.
It's not that I'm not happy for her, because I am, but it's just to the point where it's like ok that's enough. They do this crap every day.
I instantly remember another place I can sit for lunch. Bella wouldn't have realized that I was there anyway.
I turn around and make my way to the school garden. Sure enough the person I came here for is sitting at the picnic table.
I sit next to him and his eyes shoot up to me. He smiles immediately and kisses me.
"Jamiah I missed you." Jacob says in a baby tone. "I missed you too Jackey poo."
"Jackey poo?" He laughs at my nickname. "Yes it's my nickname for you."
"I don't like it." He says pouting. "Ok how about Papi?" I chuckle. "If you call me that I'll do something nasty to you."
"Really, Papi?" I ask, testing him. "No not really. I'm a virgin."
"You're serious?" I ask surprised. "Yea. I'm one of the very few virgin guys in this school." He says with a small smile.
"Well that's something you don't see everyday and I'm kinda glad you are. But so am I." I confess.
"Good cause I want to be your first, last, and only. I want you to be the same for me."
"So romantic. But I don't think I want to anytime soon." I say and he nods. "Well I'm ready whenever you are baby."
"But wait I just noticed something." I say and he motions for me to continue. "You're always saying freaky stuff like how you'll make me wet and the way you kiss, just saying you don't seem like the virgin type."
"I watch a lot of tv." He shrugs making me laugh. "More like a specific website on the internet."
"Oh hell no. You ain't gonna sit here and accuse me of watching porn." He gets ratchet, snapping his fingers and jerking his head.
"What else am I supposed to think? You're always a little horn dog." Out the corner of my eye I spot a subway sandwich.
"Food!" I say and take a bite out of it. "That's mine fatass." Jacob says.
"What's yours is mine Papi." I say and kiss his ear. "You're lucky I love you." He says.
"What?" He loves me? He can't possibly actually love me. "Nothing." He says. His cheeks are red from what just slipped.
"You said something." I say and he rubs the back of his neck.
"I just said you're lucky I know you." He tries to cover it up. "No you didn't. Please don't lie to me." The bell rings for class.
"Look we gotta get to class. Well talk later ok." He kisses me and gets up to leave. "I love you. I mean.. damnit. Bye."
He walks away pulling at his hair. I begin to walk slowly to class thinking of what just happened.
-
I wake up the next day feeling not so good. When I get out of the bed I instantly feel like throwing up. I rush to the toilet and let out all my insides.
Teresa rushes into the bathroom. "Are you ok Jamiah?" She asks. "Yea I thi-" I begin to say but I'm cut off by my own puke.
"I think you need to stay home." She says and looks in the medicine cabinet. "I don't have any medicine but I'll go to the pharmacy to pick some up."
I get up and go back into the room. Bella's already up getting dressed. "Are you ok Jamiah?" She asks.
"I think I have a stomach flu. I don't really know from what." I say and lay down on the bed.
"Hopefully you'll feel better. I won't be home till late. Ryan is taking me out tonight." She says.
"Have fun for me." I groan and roll over. "I will. Bye." She leaves.
Teresa comes back with some flu medicine a few minutes later. "You sure you'll be ok here without me? I have to leave for work in a little."
"Yea I'll be fine." I say. "Jacob is here too. Apparently he's sick also. I'll be home at five." She says and leaves.
My head instantly starts throbbing and I feel like throwing up again. I rush to the toilet and puke again. I go back and take the flu medicine.
Jacob comes in the room with a tray filled with two bowls of soup, crackers, and two cups of tea.
"Hey." He says and sits the tray on the nightstand next to me. He gets a beanbag chair and sits on the side of the bed. "You're sick too huh?"
"Yea it was from the subway." He says. His eyes look drained out and his skin is pale. When I touch his skin, it's not hot and feverish, its cold and rough.
"You look terrible." I say and he smiles. "So do you." He leans in to kiss me but I stop him.
"I wouldn't kiss me if I were you. I just got finished throwing up." I say. "So did I." He steals a kiss from me and hands me a bowl of soup.
We eat the soup, crackers and tea in silence. When we're done he takes the dishes downstairs.
"Lay with me Papi." I say. He smirks and lays next to me. I lay my head on his chest and his arms wrap around my waist.
"Can I ask you something?" I ask. "Well you just did but go ahead."
"What you said yesterday. Did you mean it?" It's silent for a moment and all I hear is Jacob's rapid heartbeat.
"Yes. I love you, a lot. I know we only been together like three weeks but I've loved you for so much longer. When we first kissed that's when I fell in love with you."
"Really? Nobody's ever been in love with me before." I say. "How can someone not be in love with you? You're amazing, and beautiful."
"Well you're my first everything. I've never had a boyfriend, or a kiss until you. I always had insecurities since I was a kid and I still do."
"What kinda insecurities?" He asks and brushes my hair from my face. "I don't think you wanna hear those."
"But I do. I have to know these things about you so I can make them go away. Nobody like you deserves insecurities."
"There are a lot of good people in the world that get bad things they don't deserve. I'm just one of them."
"That's true. But tell me your insecurities." He sounds really interested in my life.
"Well I'm scared of losing my mom. She's all I have left. I don't have any family, I'm an only child. She's all I got. And I got bullied a lot as a kid up to middle school. They talked about my hair, the way I dressed. Just everything. It made me feel like I was ugly. I still feel that way too. I remember I would come home crying to my dad and he would say to me 'They don't know you princess. They don't know how precious you are. You're a diamond princess.'"
I don't realize I'm crying until Jacob wipes them away and kisses my forehead.
"You're beautiful. I don't want you thinking any other way ok? I'll tell you you're beautiful until the day I die if that's what it takes. You need to know your worth."
His words spark something in me and I smile. "I love you so much Jamiah. I know it's too soon for you to love me and I'll gladly wait for the day that you do. But you need to know I love you."
I press my lips to his in a slow lingering manner. His hand rubs up and down my back. He bites my bottom lip lightly and his hand grips my hip as usual.
He pulls away after a few minutes and I bury my head in his neck taking in his smell.
"Can I braid your hair?" I ask after a few minutes. "Uh I don't think so."
"Come on pleeaaasseee? You have all that hair and I think it would look really nice." I give my best puppy dog face and he rolls his eyes.
"Fine but this shit better not hurt." I grab a comb and a few hair bands from my bag. I then sit on the edge of the bed, with Jacob on the floor between my legs.
I turn his head to the side and begin to part his hair.
"Will anyone ever find out about us?" I ask after finishing the first braid. "I don't know. I actually never really thought about that."
"They'll have to eventually. I mean if you see us going any farther in a relationship. We can't just hide it forever."
"Are you saying you'll eventually want to marry me?" I don't have to see his face to know he's smirking. "Well yea. If I'm going to be with someone I'll eventually want to marry them."
"I think I can make that happen." The idea of seeing Jacob in a tuxedo as I walk down the isle, the way his lips would move when he says 'I do' makes me a little more excited than it should.
"But we're too young to be thinking about marriage right now, so end of that discussion." I dismiss.
"Anyway, I don't know how Bella would take it. That is your best friend." I finish the last braid and hand him a mirror.
"Damn! I look like Sean Paul." He says laughing. He runs a hand over the cornrows. "I can get hella bitches with this."
"Excuse me?" I hit his arm. "I'm just kidding baby. I only need one bitch in this world."
"Excuse me again? I'm not a bitch." I hit his arm again. "Who said I was talking about you?"
With that I get up and walk out the room. He follows after me when I walk out the door.
"Come on Jamiah, you know I'm just playing with you." He grabs my waist from behind and kisses on my neck.
"You hurt me Papi." I say as if I'm crying. "I'm kidding baby girl. You know I love you." He turns me around and kisses me on the lips.
I decide to tease him a little and push him against a wall. I push my tongue in taking complete control. One of my hands reaches into his sweats and stops right before I reach his manhood.
I move from his lips to his neck leaving multiple hickies. His hands grab firmly on my butt, but I remove them and place them at his sides.
"Oh Papi, not today." I whisper seductively in his ear and walk away. "What the hell Jamiah? Look what you did!"
I turn back to see the large bulge in his crotch. Even though he's wearing baggy sweats, it still looks very big *insert wink face*.
"Oops my bad." I shrug. The doorbell rings and I look at him to get it.
"You get it, I have to go fix this." He makes his way to the bathroom. "And cover those love bites while you're at it."
I make my way downstairs. When I open the door there's a man standing there. He's about 5'6, caramel color, and has short curly hair. He looks oddly familiar.
"Uh hi. I'm Joseph. Is Jacob home?" He asks. "Yea I'll go get him. Have a seat." I close the door behind him.
I go back upstairs and knock on the bathroom door. "Babe there's a guy downstairs says he wants to see you."
"I'll be out in a little." Jacob comes out the bathroom a few minutes later. He follows me downstairs and into the living room.
The man is looking around the living room at all the pictures they have. When he sees us, he strides towards us quickly.
"You wanted to see me?" Jacob says and the man nods.
"Jacob, it's me. Your father."