My Lovies!!! I'm sorry I haven't been updating recently but I'm never dead for long! So this chapter I put in music that I love and thought would go well with the theme of my whole book. Sorry if you don't like Melanie Martinez but there will probably be a lot of her music in here.
Over the past few weeks, I've been living with Katsu and his mother. I've mostly been sulking around in his bedroom. In fact, I don't think I've left his bed since arriving here. Morning blurs into afternoon which turns over to evenings with nothing really happening. I lay, curled up in the fetal position, under a mountain of disheveled quilts nad blankets.
Katsu has been by my side the whole time making sure I have plenty to eat and drink. Though, ever since I got the news that Haruki was murdered. I guess I'm still in shock that I had left just a few minutes before it happened. According to the police, Haruki had called over one of his 'girlfriends' as soon as I left and she was the last person to talk to him. I knew the women, Haruki was one of her regulars and I had seen her wandering around the apartment more than once. I believe her name was Emi.
Emi told the police that she was waiting in the living room when Haruki walked over to the kitchen however, strange noises coming from my old bedroom caused him to go in and check it out. She remembered a long silence before what sounded like a fighting coming from my bedroom. When she went to go check on Haruki she found him strung up by his neck around the ceiling fan with weights tied to his ankles and wrists pulling him down.The window to the left of the bed was open with the screen was popped out.
The autopsy came back saying that Haruki suffered a blunt blow to the back of the head and several deep cuts around the stomach and throat areas. They're saying that the blood loss and trauma to the head killed Haruki before suffocation could.
Silent tears flow heavy down my cheeks as I think of her statement again. I feel so guilty that he died alone in that stupid apartment. If I had stayed a little while longer I could have prevented his death but now.....now..he's never coming back. I'll never see him again.
Since I'm only sixteen I can't legally own an apartment yet and with no guardian to take me in I go to the state. The police have already searched my old apartment twice and have a guard permanently placed outside the complex so if they see me they can take me to the orphanage. It's only a matter of time before they start combing through the neighborhood for me. I don't think Katsu would rat me out, though. He seems to enjoy my company even though I do nothing except cry under the covers. He revels in my weak state always saying things like, "I'm here now. I'll protect you against everyone. You can just stay like this forever. You never have to lift a finger ever again, my sweet.".
Sometimes I'll wake up late at night to find him either on the floor next to the bed or kneeling over my body watching me sleep. A few times I've stared into his fluorescent green orbs and have seen a glimpse of violence and raw anger and those few times I haven't been able to fall back asleep until he backed off. When I questioned him in the morning he would always dance around a definite answer. Katsu has his creepy moments, though, he has mostly just been sweet toward me, proclaiming that he always going to be there for me. His mother, Rio, is usually out working, I guess. I don't know where she works but judging by her attire she might just be a painted lady.
I've learned that Katsu and his mother get into a verbal argument almost every night and rarely will it ever turn into a physical fight but when it does I also pray that Katsu doesn't hurt his mother. She's as thin as a rail and about a head shorter than me while Katsu is thickly corded with muscle that is wrapped tightly around his abdomen and biceps like smooth ribbon. He still somehow keeps a slim figure, though. He stands 5 feet and 9 inches tall, a good two and a half heads taller than me. If he wanted he could easily overpower both me and his mother which is why I'm surprised I watch as Rio raises her hand to slap Katsu across the face.
I stand in the kitchen helping cook dinner as I listen to their argument. this time, Katsu had started it, yelling about how Rio shouldn't bring her customers home when they have a guest. I get to watch them through the half wall separating the living room and kitchen.
As soon as Rio's hand comes in contact with his face I notice that his whole body tenses in either anger or readiness. The single slap ringing in the silent apartment. Besides the sound of the boiling water, I'm using to cook the Udon noodles, everything stops moving. Rio doesn't seem to notice the intense atmosphere that she created nad continues to scream at Katsu that this is her house and that she makes the rules.
On the other hand, Katsu is frozen. His head is still turned from the hit and his biceps are still taunt.
"...Just leave if you don't like how I run my household!" Rio brings both her hands up this time to try and push Katsu toward the front door. Katsu grabs her wrists from his chest and presses his thumb down on the center of her palm so that she has to back up when he walks forward. Because of the way he positioned her hand if she didn't walk backward her wrist would lock up uncomfortably. By the way, Katsu swiftly backs her up against a wall making Rio kneel under the pressure in her wrists. I see him watch her with cold eyes before leaning in to whisper something through his sinister smile. Rio shivers at whatever is said. She glances over at me quickly then as soon as Katsu releases her hands she scrambles out the front door.
I couldn't exactly say that what I just witnessed didn't scare or intimidate me at all. Katsu always seemed innocent and kind to me that it's weird to see him act so differently, especially to his own mother.
By now the water boiling on the stove has been completely forgotten. Katsu has yet to acknowledge me staring though I know he can feel my gaze on his back. He walks casually over to me with his head down; his onyx bangs hiding everything except his lips that are set in a deep frown. He stops three feet away from me with his hands tucked behind him. When Katsu picks his head up slowly to reveal his innocent bottle green orbs my heart can't help but melt a little. A subtle lopsided smile sits perfectly above his chiseled chin, making me smile in return. Looking at him now, bright-eyed and smiling, I can't believe that I was scared of him just a second ago.
He opens his mouth to say something but some hot water from the pot boils over behind me and splashes down my back causing me to gasp loudly. I reflectively stumble away from it. I walk right into his chest. He smells softly of oranges, pears and something metallic. I'm used to his odd smell so when he wraps his arms around me in a protective way I don't flinch like before.
"Be more careful, please." He says as he turns the stove off over my shoulder. He takes the Udon pot off the stove and drains the water out before placing the noodles in two bowls all while keeping one arm around me.
When he's done preparing dinner he kisses the top of my head lightly. I huff out an irritated breath but do nothing about his actions. I take my bowl and walk over to the dining table and Katsu follows.
"I'm sorry you had to see my mother and I fighting." He doesn't look at me, instead staring out the floor to ceiling length windows beside him.
"It's ok. My brother and I would fight like that sometimes." I subconsciously rub the burn scars that decorate my ribcage. Katsu looks back over at me and notices that action. Quietly, he stands up and kneels next to my chair. I don't look him in the eye, I can't. I've never told anyone what Haruki did to me when he was upset. I don't want Katsu to know. He'll think I'm weak; Think I can't protect myself or that I'm a crybaby.
When he tries to take my hand in his I let him. Maybe he didn't notice, though, as he reaches for the hem of my shirt I knew he saw. I push my chair away from the table and stand up.
"You know, I'm not really that hungry. I think I'll just go to bed early." I give him a wobbly smile and nervous giggle as I scoot past him. A gentle hand captures my hand and entwines its fingers with mine. I turn around and half-heartedly glare at Katsu through my lashes. He surprises me by glaring back.
'Why is he mad at me? What did I do?' I wonder so I ask him that.
"(Y/n), stop deflecting me! Just tell me who's hurting you! I can't help if you don't tell me!" He yells. My lips set into a furious hard line.
"Why do you need to help me?! I can fend for myself, you know!" Katsu flinches back from my tone and my anger dissipates a little before I continue. " Listen, I'm grateful that you're letting me stay here with your mother but I'm still my own person and can function well enough by myself."
By the time I'm done talking Katsu's face has slowly morph into a very neutral mask. I swear I saw his pupils almost disappear they contracted so much. His nostrils open and close angrily as he stares at me, unblinking. I shrink back from his gaze, suddenly scared he will hit me like Haruki or do what he did to his mother a few minutes ago.
Katsu's hold on my hand tightens when I move away from him. I cry out in pain when he digs his nails into my wrist and brings his face closer to me.
"I told you I will never leave you. I told you I will always protect you." He finally releases my hand and walks back to his seat at the dinner table like nothing ever happened. I still stand there, shocked and fearful.
"Sit."
Katsu's already deep voice somehow gets even deeper. It sounds menacing, but when he picks his head to look up at me he's all smiles and charming little giggles.
What have I gotten myself into?
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Later that night I'm woken up by the slamming of the front door. I'm guessing that it's just Rio coming home from work so I go back to sleep. Just as I'm closing my eyes the sound of two sets of slurred whispers breaks through the still air of the apartment.
"Sssh you're...umm....going to wake...them...up." I can easily identify Rio's voice although the second voice sounds less drunk and definitely male.
I can see Katsu out of the corner of my eye. He's been sleeping on the small loveseat next to the window for the past couple of weeks even though I told him that we could switch places since it was his bed. Nevertheless, Katsu insisted that I get the bed stating that 'You look better on it than I do', whatever that means.
Katsu's back is facing me so I can't tell if he got woken up as well. He hasn't moved so I'll just assume that he's still asleep. By now Rio and her 'friend' are getting comfortable in the living room judging by the noises I'm hearing. I try rolling over onto my side in a vain attempt to block the gross sounds however, nothing I'm doing seems to be working. I can tell Katsu is beginning to wake up from his sudden movement. He sits up quickly and I can see the sweat running down his face from the light of the full moon outside.
Katsu's breathing becomes ragged and he holds his face in his hands like he just woke up from a nightmare. He struggles to calm himself down by faintly counting back from 100. I recognize this as a panic attack, it's similar to my own. He's so distracted by his counting that he doesn't notice me walk over to him until I sit down next to him. Katsu flinches away from me without taking his hands away from his face.
"I'm fine. You can go back to bed."
He says almost inaudibly. Instead of going back to bed, even though I seriously think about doing just that, I hesitantly wrap my arms around his trembling figure. He reacts immediately by crushing me to his body.
"I'm fine. I'm fine." He says more to himself than me, trying to convince himself that he's 'fine'.
Gradually, Katsu does calm down enough to lay back down. I don't know what comes over me but I lay down with him. He doesn't protest, in fact, he curls his arms until they completely encompass me in his soft embrace.
I don't remember falling asleep. It's only when I open my eyes again that it's now morning. Katsu still sleeps soundly, his face tucked comfortably in the crook of my neck. I could stay like this forever which surprises me, just last night I was scared of him. I yawn I get up to start breakfast completely forgetting that Rio brought someone home last night.
I stay at Katsu's apartment for free but I feel uncomfortable not doing anything in return for his and his mother's kindness so I cook all three meals.
Today I think I will cook tamagoyaki (rolled egg omelet) with herbs from the small herb garden in the kitchen. I've just turned on the gas stove when I feel large calloused hands wrap around my waist. I face leans in to whisper in my ear, the heady scent of morning breath and underlying works of gin make me frown. Whoever it was isn't Katsu.
"Well, aren't you a breath of fresh air. I swear if I saw you last night I would've slept with you instead of that hag." The voice is gnarled from years of cigarettes and rough alcohol. My heart starts to race at the thought that I'm basically alone with this guy because Katsu and Rio are still asleep in the other room.
"Why don't you tell me your name, sweetheart." I can feel the man's hands travel up my sides toward my chest. I attempt to lean away from him but I'm stopped by the edge of the counter.
"Please, stop," I say in what I hope is a strong voice. The man just laughs and continues his assault. Just as the man's hands are on the verge of cupping my breasts an almost feral growl comes from behind both of us. The man stiffens and his hands stop.
"You have two options: Leave here now or in fifteen minutes when the ambulance arrives." It says.