{Chapter Fourteen}
Sam
I COULDN'T REALLY see Zane well enough to read his expression. But I stayed on the ground, my blurry eyes locked on Zane's figure.
Declan laughed, "Oh, look who decided to show up." I closed my eyes. I didn't want to see what was about to happen.
I heard Zane growl, "You fucking-"
"I've got your girl Zane!" He taunted. "Look at her, what the fuck are you going to do-"
Declan didn't even get his sentence out before Zane tackled him to the ground. My eyes were still shut, but I heard the two wrestling. I didn't want to look. I couldn't. This was all my fault.
It was only about 20 or 30 seconds later when they stopped. My eyes shot open. Declan was lying on the ground, flat on his back, not moving. Zane stood above him, panting. Then Zane's eyes shot over to me, widening in such a way that I have never seen before. "Baby!" he quickly ran over.
Oh my God, I did not want him to see me like this. I could only begin to imagine how horrible I looked.
"Sammy, baby," He was leaning over me, trying to pull me into his arms, "Oh my God, what happened? Are you alright?"
I couldn't let Zane see me like this. With what little strength I had left, I pushed myself away from him. Slowly, I stood. "I, I'm fine."
"Jesus, Sam. You're bleeding." Zane quickly stood to get a better look at me, and I wiped the blood off my face with the sleeve of my jacket.
"I'm okay, I, I swear."
Zane stared at me for a moment, his eyes glanced down at Declan. "What the fuck happened?"
I didn't know what to say. Should I tell him? I mean, I can't exactly lie my way out of this. "Zane," I began, "He told me to meet him here-"
"So you met him? By yourself?"
I nodded slowly.
"What the fuck were you thinking?" That is when Zane's warm and caring expression was turned into a cold glare.
I almost jumped at the sound of his voice. I have never heard Zane speak in such a tone before, hell, I have never even seen Zane angry. We have not even had our first fight yet.
"Huh?" His voice was loud, it almost resembled Declan's terrifying voice.
"He threatened you," I stammered, "I was doing it to protect you-" I knew that Zane wouldn't know what I meant when I said that, but I just wanted him to know that I did it for him. I couldn't let anything bad happen to him.
"To protect me?! You can't even protect yourself Sam! What would have happened if I didn't show up? Huh?" Zane was shouting by now. "He could have really hurt you! Or worse!"
I cowered back. Zane has never spoken to me like this before. Not saying I don't deserve it, because I totally did. I was such an idiot for doing what I did, but right now, all I wanted was my boyfriend to hug me and tell me everything was going to be alright.
"I'm sorry-"
"Sorry?! Sam I can't believe you are this stupid! You know he could hurt you!" He ran a frustrated hand through his soft black hair. I reached a hand over to touch his shoulder. I just wanted him to hold me, but he jerked away.
"He-" Zane didn't even give me a chance to explain, he just shook his head at me.
"God Sam... you are so fucking stupid!" He groaned and rubbed his temples. "I am always worrying about you. All you ever do is stress me out because you run off and do stupid shit like this."
I could literally feel me heart begin to shatter. I stress him out that much? I mean, I knew he worried about me from time to time. But I thought I was doing better. Am I that much of a burden to him?
"Zane, please-" I began to try to explain everything once again, because maybe he wasn't understanding why I did what I did, but he cut me off.
"I don't want to hear it, Sam."
I hadn't realized how much I was crying until now. It was hard to breathe, I felt as if my throat was closing.
I had to get out of here. Away from Declan, away from Zane; I had to get away from the horrible mess I had just caused.
Zane made brief eye contact one final time before I took off in a run. I couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't look a Declan's motionless body, or listen to Zane scream at me.
I heard Zane scream my name, but I didn't dare look back. I just kept running.
~*~
Zane
I knew my words hurt her, and it killed me. I am just so blown away at what just happened. Declan was hitting her. He could have really hurt her! Or worse. I am just thankful I showed up when I did, because I don't know what would have happened.
I was angry at Sam. She shouldn't have met with a dangerous guy like him, especially without telling anyone where she was. I knew why she didn't tell me; I would have told her not to go and I would have probably confronted Declan myself.
What did Declan want with her anyway? Why did he have her meet him in the park at night time? I felt sick at the thought. That bastard had no other intentions but to hurt Sam.
God, she was probably terrified. And all I did was yell at her! She probably just needed me to tell her it was okay and take her home. That's what I should have done.
I was a total dick. I let my anger take over. That was a huge mistake.
Once I saw that she was crying, I knew that I shouldn't have yelled at her. I tried to tell her to come back once she started running, but she ignored me.
I sighed. I deserved it. I was a huge asshole. I should have been more loving and compassionate. Sam most likely thought that she was going to die. She didn't need someone tell scream at her and make her feel worse.
"Dammit, Zane," I sighed, "you really fucked up."
I know I probably should have ran after her, but I needed to give her some space. Plus, I wanted to make sure I was calm next time I spoke to her. I didn't want to say anything else that I didn't mean.
My heart sunk once I realized that I had called her stupid. She is not stupid, and I had made a huge mistake when those evil words came out of my mouth. I love Sam, I love her so much.
"I need to call her," I muttered, "I need to say sorry."
"Hey, this is Samantha Stewart. I am sorry but I can't get to the phone right now, so leave me a message after the beep! Thanks."
Beep.
"Hey Sammy, its me... I'm sorry about what happened. You're not stupid. You're smart and beautiful and amazing and perfect... I am so sorry, baby, I was just so scared. Agh, I'm a huge ass. I'm so fucking sorry. Please, just call me, okay? I am coming over to check on you now. We need to probably get you to the doctor to make sure you're alright, okay? I love you. I love you so so much. Call me." I hung up. Fuck, I felt awful.
I glanced down at Declan. I should just leave him here, let him freeze to death like the bastard deserves. However, I knew I couldn't do that. With a heavy sigh, I drug Declan into the parks shelter building a few feet away. It was pretty warm in there, so I figured he would be okay here over night.
He groaned as I dropped him on the ground, and let out a laugh. "Stupid fucker,"
I would take care of him later. Now, I just needed to get to Sam and make sure she was alright.
~*~
Sam
I ran all the way home without stopping. I didn't even stop when I got inside my apartment, because from there I ran straight to the drawer in Mikey's room that held all the medications.
I need pills now.
I glanced at the clock that hung above his bed, It was 10:15. Mikey would be home anytime, but I didn't care. I needed something or I was going to fucking lose it. I just needed something to calm me down. To numb me. I had to get out of this horrible reality, the reality that I had fucked up so badly.
Quickly, I snatched a random bottle and ran to the bathroom. I didn't even look at what I was taking before I took a whole handful.
Was it stupid? Yes.
Would it kill me? Maybe.
After I was done, I glanced at myself in the mirror. I started to sob once I saw how awful I looked.
My hair had fallen out of the tight braid I had it in earlier and into messy waves. Normally it would have looked nice but with all the knots that was in it and the few chunks that Declan had pulled out, it looked like a rats nest. I had a purplish bruise on my cheek from one of his punches, along with a red and slightly swollen nose. There was a little blood still left on my face, and a few drops stained my white shirt.
Mikey was going to shit when he sees me. What would I tell him? I got jumped on my nightly walk? Would he not believe me and accuse Zane of abusing me? I had no idea what would happen once Mikey saw me.
Zane basically said that I was a burden to him. I could only imagine how much of a burden I am to Mikey, then. Which I am. When our parents were still alive, he was the guy all the people at he school would want to party with. He had a great girlfriend, who he was in love with, he was popular, he had a lot of really great friends, he was everything guys dreamed of being in high school.
Then he had to grow up fast so he could take care of me. His girlfriend broke up with him, he stopped going to parties, he lost most of his friends... all because of me. He should be having the time of his life right now. He's 21. He should be going to bars, dating girls, having a great time with his friends. Instead, Mikey is working 24/7 to support me.
And Zane, God, I don't even want to think about how mad he is at me.
I was pulled out of my thoughts when I felt a strong, sharp pain in my chest, right where my heart is. Wincing, I grabbed my chest, hoping the pain would pass. When it didn't, I sank to the floor. My legs wouldn't hold me up anymore. That's when I realized both of my legs were totally numb.
"What the hell is going on?" Is what I tried to say, but what came out was a big garbled mess.
The pain in my chest was getting worse, and my vision was started to become blurry. I looked at my hand, and I saw 10 fingers instead of 5. I was seeing everything in doubles.
With weak very arms, I grabbed the bathroom sink and I tried to pull myself to my feet. I was unable to hold myself up so I leaned against the wall, using all the strength I had to use my legs. Then I opened the medicine cabinet to try to find what I just took. I grabbed the only bottle in the cabinet and with shaky hands I tried to hold it close enough to my face to I could at least attempt to read it. I blinked several times to focus my vision. It worked for a second, long enough for me to read the label.
Benadryl.
I had no idea what was happening to my body, but I knew it was not good. I dropped the bottle in the sink and fell back to the ground, eventually laying down.
I needed help. I needed Mikey to come home and figure out what was going on. I don't know how I was able too, but I pulled my phone out of my pocket and dialed Mikey's phone number.
"Hello?"
"Mikey..." My voice sounded weak and scratchy.
"Sam? Are you okay?" He asked me, obviously alarmed.
"No," I choked out a sob. I was no alright. I was dying.
"Sammy? What happened?" I could hear things slamming around on his side of the line, maybe a car door or something. "I am coming home right now. What happened?"
"I, I took these pills..." I couldn't believe what I was saying.
I could hear Mikey gasp. "Oh God, Sam... what do you feel like? Are you in any pain?"
"I can't, I can't feel anything Mikey, I'm numb-"
That's exactly what you wanted, Sammy.
"It's okay! Stay on the line with me, okay? I will be home soon." His voice sounded muffled. "Stay with me. Sing to me." I heard.
I shook my head weakly, even though he couldn't see me. I was to tired to sing. I was to tired to do anything.
"Sam?"
I was to tired to talk, and I couldn't find my voice. I couldn't even hold my phone to my ear by this point. My hand and phone dropped to the floor, my phone making a loud clank as it hit the cold tile.
"Sammy!" I heard Mikey scream through the other line. But I ignored him. I couldn't speak anymore.
I was dying.
My breathing was becoming short gasps as I tried to get air into my lungs and my throat felt as if it was closing, slowly suffocating me.
I accepted what was happening to me. I had no other choice because I did it to myself. I deserved it. I just wanted the pain to go away, I just wanted to fall into a peaceful sleep. I wanted it to be over.
It had been a few moments after I had stopped talking to Mikey on the phone when I heard a loud bang against the bathroom door. "Sammy!" Mikey yelled, "Open up!" I had forgot that I locked the door.
I think a small smile spread across my lips. My brother was here. I was going to be able to say goodbye.
After a few attempts, Mikey broke through the wooden door and came crashing over me, barely missing me and falling into the tub. After he quickly collected himself, Mikey fell to the floor and gathered me in his arms. He was already sobbing, and it broke my heart. I had caused this. Everything that had happened tonight was my fault.
"Sammy!" He cried in terror as he held me. I tried to move my arms so I could hold him, but I had no strength in me whatsoever.
"Mikey," I whimpered. "I'm sorry-"
"Shh," My older brother tried to soothe me, "it's okay, Sammy Bear, I called help. They are on their way."
Help would come to late. I knew it would be soon. I could feel my body starting to shut down.
"Sammy!" Mikey gently shook me, trying to keep me awake. When I looked up I saw Mikey staring down at me with tear filled eyes. He reached a shaky hand over and brushed some loose hair out of my eyes. "Sam, you have to stay awake."
"I love you..." My voice came out only as a soft whisper. He needed to know, because I was loosing time. "You've been such an amazing brother," I smiled weakly. "I know mom and dad are proud of the man you've become."
"Don't say that Sammy." He warned, rocking me back and forth in his arms, "Don't give up on me now. Stay with me, keep with me."
I didn't want to give up. But how could I not? I had no choice. I had only moments left.
For a brief moment, I considered myself lucky. In my last moments on this earth, I would be with my brother. I would be able to let him know just how much he means to me, and that I loved him. I was going to die in his arms, and even though it was selfish of me, I was thankful that the last thing I would see was my big brothers beautiful face before I left.
"Sam," My brother cried, "Please... don't go," his voice sounded broken. "You're all I have left. Please, I love you."
My eye lids were getting heavy, and I couldn't stop myself from closing them. "I'm sorry... I love you."
I could feel myself slipping away. 'This is it', I thought.
The last thing I heard was Mikey screaming my name before I went into total darkness.
~*~
Zane
If I could kick myself, I would. God. How could I have been such a dick? I failed her. When she really, truly needed me, I wasn't there. I had messed up. I needed to apologize. I needed to make sure she was okay, like I should have done in the beginning.
Would she even accept my apology? I shouldn't expect her to. What I did was pretty much unforgivable.
It had been maybe 15 or 20 minutes since Sam had ran away from me. I wanted to give her space and time to calm down and collect herself, but I just needed to make sure she was okay. I had to physically see her.
My eyes grew wide as soon as I turned onto her street. Her apartment was visible from the corner, but the red and blue lights from the police cars that were out front made it stick out like a sore thumb.
"What the hell?" Why are there cops at Sam's house? What happened? Maybe she had called the police about Declan.
I knew in my heart that she wouldn't do that. She would not want this to turn into a bigger mess than it was. And if she did, there wouldn't be an ambulance there, either.
That's when I went into a sprint. I tried not to think of what was happening, I just had to get to her. I needed to see her.
"Whoa, kid." A police officer stopped me as soon as I stepped onto her front porch. "You can't go in."
I couldn't breathe. "What happened?!" I was shouting. When he didn't answer right away I began to scream Sam's name, hoping she would come out from some where and give me a tight hug. The cop quickly took my by my shoulders and gently shook me. I looked at him.
"Do you know the young lady that lives here?" He asked slowly, never breaking eye contact with me.
I nodded slowly. "She's my girlfriend."
The cop gave me a sad look. "Son, I'm sorry-"
She did it.
She fucking did it.
"She was rushed to the hospital-..." I couldn't hear anything besides that. I tore away from him and I began to run toward the hospital.
"Kid! Wait!" The man called. I just kept running.
She did it. She actually did it.
And it was because of me.
I didn't stop running. The hospital was a few blocks from Sam's apartment, so it took me ten minutes to reach the Emergency Room doors.
I looked around frantically and saw Mikey sitting in the corner of the waiting room. His shoulders were shaking, he was obviously crying.
"Mikey." I ran over to him, nearly breathless. We both made eye contact.
He did not even have to say it. I knew just by the look in his eye that it was bad.
I felt my knees get week, before I could fall, Mikeys arms pulled me upright. His hands were on my shoulders and he just looked at me. His hands slid off my shoulders and to his side, and he began to cry.
I was terrified that I would never see her smile. I would never hear her laugh again.Or see her blush. I was scared I would never kiss her soft lips again. I can't believe this is happening.
Sammy, I prayed silently. Please, come back to me.