I ran my index finger around the rim of my coffee cup, staring at the top as if it was going to do anything different then the nothing it was already doing. I was sitting at a coffee shop, me, Mitchie Torres, with my mother at one of those round tables that were almost six feet off the ground, with tall chairs and everything.
“So, what did you get on your progress report?” My mom’s face was bright, her eyes filled with hope. I looked up at her, getting ready to speak when I feel this chill. My heart always does this when…I take a deep breath, answering my mom before taking a quick glance behind me. Its Alex.
“Oh look Mitchie.” My mom saw her too, smiling as she tapped my hand. “Go say something to her.”
“Mom I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Go.” She sort of demanded. I pouted, shaking my head as she told me to go on once more. I stood from my chair, hesitantly turning to face the brunette. My heart was fighting with itself, and it has been for two months now. I take a step towards the counter, and when Alex is next up to order I step behind her.
“Hey Alex.” I have this sort of cheer in my voice that wasn’t there a minute ago.
“What do you want?” She whispered. I admit, it stung to hear those words. I did wrong, I admit it, but to Alex, there’s no going back.
“I um…”
“You um what?” She shook her head after ordering. She faced me, leaning on the counter with one elbow pressed against it’s glass.
“Nothing.” I respond, turning away from her, and I’m sure she doesn’t mind. I strolled back over to my mother defeated.
“So,” my mom smiled, “what did she say?”
“Nothing.”
“Maybe she can have coffee with us.”
“Mom no!” I shook my head over several times but my mom called out to the brunette anyway.
“She has to sit with us,” my mom whispered, “I know her mother.” I closed my eyes at those words as I heard steps behind me. There were two seats left at the table, one to my left, or one to my right. Alex sat to my left, placing her coffee on the table as I opened my eyes to gaze at her.
“I’m kind of in a hurry Connie.” Alex had this weird tone in her voice, as if she hated the fact that she even knew my mom.
“Not in much of a hurry I hope, sit.” My mom waits for the girl to react and that’s when Alex faces me. I don’t stare, I face my coffee cup, fidgeting with the top as if I’m about to take a sip. She leans towards me and whispers in my ear, something that caused my heart to pound against my chest.
“Why is your mom doing this?” She asks. I shrug into her chin as she pulls away. My mom has a smile on her face as Alex sighs, finally sitting down. She sips on her coffee vigorously, trying to finish it I suppose, so she can leave.
“So, Alex, how have you been?” My mom’s question causes me even more embarrassment. I wish she’d just stop talking.
“How do you mean? With life? Fine.”
“And how’s school?”
“Crowded.” She paused after that, staring at her cup as if something didn’t taste right.
“Mitchie has been talking about you.” My mom’s words finally struck a cord in me and I pressed my forehead against the table. They were silent, my mom and Alex, or for a while at least. I searched the grains on the table for an answer to get out of this coffee thing with my mom, but I knew there was no way out.
“Look Connie, I really have to go.” Alex shifts a bit before my mom says something that causes me to stare at her viciously.
“Mitchie needs someone to stay over tonight, her dad and I are going away for the weekend, are you interested?”
“Connie…” Alex stood, leaving her cup where it was, “if you haven’t noticed yet, Mitchie and I aren’t dating anymore. And I for one don’t feel comfortable in this situation, or near her for that matter, so no.” Those words….those words hung in the air until the coffee shop door closed and surprisingly no one was looking our way. I could feel my heart, or…what was still left of it after weeks and months of torture.
“Mom, don’t ever do that again.” I whispered, pulling Alex’s coffee cup into my hand. “Just don’t.” I toss everything in the trash and grab my purse from the side of my chair. “Can we go now? Please.”
The walk home was short. Mom was trying to apologize about things such as crossing her boundaries and blah-blah-blah. I barley heard anything that came out of her mouth, because just up the block, next to my house I could see a girl sitting on the hood of her car. I didn’t try to be obvious about it but I could see she was about my height with the same textured hair, but it was short, to her shoulders. The girl had her legs crossed on the hood of the car as she sat down, giggling at something, or someone. Her short shorts were barley visible under her baby doll top.
“Honey!” My mom tapped my shoulder.
“Yeah?” I asked, still staring at the girl.
“You look hard enough and you may get burned.”
“That’s not it.” I finally saw Alex when I reached my porch. She was carrying a box in her arms and saying something that obviously the girl liked. I waved my mom away as I stood where I was. What did I do that was so bad that Alex would go to these lengths to hurt me? I brushed my hair from my face as the girl on the car spotted me. She giggled one last time, saying something before I watched Alex face me. I admit, it hurt, a lot. I don’t know why seeing Alex talking to someone other then me felt this bad…but maybe its because she was my first everything, and I didn’t want anyone but her. Alex carried her box over to me, as I shyly made it down the steps. We were out of the view of the car chick.
“Who’s she?” I ask.
“You don’t need to know.”
“Alex…” I heard the strain in my voice. I could feel the weakness in me. “What’s this?” I moved on with the subject, trying not to let her see me so fragile.
“I found some things. There yours.” She pushed the box at me but I didn’t take it. Inside were some photos, bears, and even a few notes I wrote who knows when.
“What are you doing?” I ask, as the girl from the car finally walks over towards us. She stops near the street.
“Come on Alex!” She said in a whiny voice, before she placed her sunglasses in her hair.
“Here!” She shoved the box at me again before I stepped back. “Fine!” She dropped it. The entire thing, on the ground as the things inside jumbled up. “Its yours now.”
“You have no right to treat me this way.” I tell her. She stands confused before the car girl walks over, pulls her hand and tells her to follow. Alex does and I just want to scream. I kick the box on the ground before lifting it and passing the gate that separates our yards.
“What are you doing?” Alex asked, as the car girl lets her go. I knock on her door, seeing if anyone was inside. Alex runs after me and soon the door opens.
“Hi Justin, can I come in?” I ask as he nods before Alex comes up. I close the door on her, locking the first lock. “Can you put this in her room?” I ask.
“What for?”
“Because she doesn’t know what she’s doing…and because… if she gets rid of all of this…its like she’s getting rid of me.” My voice was cracking. Alex stopped hitting the door as something jingled.
“She’s going to kill you.” Justin told me.
“I’ll leave now. Just…put that back.” I signaled to the box as he nodded. The door came open and I pushed past a stunned Alex. Now as I was walking home, car girl, whatever her name was, stopped me.
“You can’t just go into people’s houses like that. Besides, I’d like it if you stayed away from my girlfriend.” She crossed her arms, her green eyes staring into my brown ones. Alex made it over to us as I faced her.
“Your girlfriend?” Those words made my heart freeze. It was this jolt of pain that stopped it all for a second or so before I rolled my eyes. “Girlfriend…” I mumbled… “girlfriend,” I said once more. “How could you?” I move away from the two, and into the house, making sure the place was locked before I went to my room. I was too mad to cry, and too heart broken not too, but in reality…everything was happening too fast that my body didn’t know how to react. All I did, the ONLY thing I did, was trust someone who wasn’t worth it. All I did was go with a so called friend and everything went wrong. All I did was keep it to myself, I couldn’t tell Alex…nothing happened. I mean, yeah…she kissed me, maybe even grouped me…she even ripped my shirt off but….but….I stopped her. I cried and I stopped it all, and now I’m living in hell because of it.
“What did I do wrong?” I whisper into my knees, falling onto the floor of my room and pressing my back against the bed. I guess my body stopped fighting with itself because I cried, it wasn’t loud, it wasn’t hard, but…my tears came just the same.