Every year, right about this time, the world just seems to be at peace. Snowflakes drift softly down on you from the sky and Christmas is everywhere you go. From the decorations in the stores, to the twinkle lights in the trees, everybody can feel the cheery mood of the holidays. My favorite part of this season though, is the music. I love Christmas music. I mean, really, what’s more fun that singing songs about the most wonderful time of year?
Maybe I’m a little biased though, considering my mom is the choral instructor for our church. She’s been in charge of organizing the ‘Star Carolers’, a group of us who go around singing Christmas carols in our small town of Stars Hollow, since before I was born. I’ve literally been raised singing Christmas carols, because in my house, Christmas is all year round… well the music is at least.
This year is a big year for me. I finally get to join the choir and be a Star Caroler. I had to wait until I was sixteen to join the group, but last year I ended up getting really sick and couldn’t join the group for either night. This is my year though.
But I’ve gotta say, the best part of being a Star Caroler isn’t really the singing. There’s this boy, who just joined recently when Mom discovered him singing at a coffee shop, named Parker Thomas. I’ve known Parker since we were little. He’s always been part of the cool crowd, having tons of friends. Everybody laughs at his jokes and supports him if he gets an answer wrong in class. Whereas I’ve always been that girl in the middle. Even though I wasn’t part of the cool group, I wasn’t completely unpopular. I have plenty of friends; some of them are even in the cool group. It’s just never been my thing.
Anyways, I’ve had the biggest crush on Parker since second grade. I know, it’s a really long time to go on liking somebody, but he’s just so dang cute. And he’s nice. Not like that forced politeness that a lot of people have, but genuinely kind. If he sees you struggling to get your groceries in the car, he’ll be there as soon as possible to help you. If your books slip from your fingers in the hallway, he’s usually the only person who’ll stop what they’re doing and pick your things up for you. He’s basically the definition of gentleman.
I’m nervous though. Parker’s never heard me sing, and what if I screw up? The worst part is that, if I really do screw up, Parker is too nice to be mean to me and he’ll probably tell me I did a good job or something. I’ll feel completely pathetic if he does.
“Carol, are you ready yet?” Mom yells from downstairs.
“I’ll be right down!” I yell back, putting the finishing touches on the crown braid I’ve put my long blonde hair in. I’ve been obsessed with braids recently and, even though this particular braid reminds me of a Dutch milkmaid, I love it. Even though it’s a little silly, I chose my outfit carefully hoping that Parker would finally notice me. I know it’s a long shot, not only because he’s a boy but also because my outfit is far from sexy. I’m wearing dark jeggings, a grey knit turtle neck sweater, grey uggs, a black coat with tiny white dots on it, black gloves, and a red scarf. Well I’m about to. The gloves, coat, and boots are still downstairs waiting for me to don them.
Taking a deep breath and one last glance in the mirror, I head downstairs to where my mother’s impatiently waiting by the door. “You look nice sweety.” She says with a smile.
“Thanks.” I say, smiling back and pulling on the uggs.
“Hurry up now, it looks bad if I’m late.” She says, moving anxiously from one foot to the other.
I giggle, “Sorry to keep you waiting, your majesty.”
She narrows her eyes at me a bit, but it doesn’t last long since a wide smile appears on her lips as I pull on my jacket and open the door for her.
The walk to the towns square isn’t very long, since we live in a really small town. It’s close knit, with everybody knowing everyone else’s business. But we love it here. When we get to the gazebo, only my best friend, Dacey, is there. “Okay, good. We’re early.” Mom says, checking her watch yet again. “Why don’t you girls go get us something warm to drink?”
Dacey and I nod before running over to our favorite coffee shop. “So, are you excited to finally get to carol this year?” She asks.
I nod enthusiastically, “I’ve never been so excited!” I exclaim.
She laughs, “You don’t say.”
I grin and nudge her for teasing me. I can’t help it that I feel like a child on Christmas morning right now. Up at the counter, we order about fifteen hot chocolates, and I add two with peppermint. Dacey gives me a weird look. “What?” I ask, feeling nervous under her gaze.
“Who’s the second peppermint for?” She asks, knowing that one of them is undoubtedly for me.
“Parker Thomas.” I mumble under my breath.
“Are you kidding me right now, Cari?” She asks, putting a hand on her hip. I raise my shoulders with what I hope is an innocent look on my face, “What’s wrong with that?”
“What’s wrong with that is you’ve been in love with the guy since you were seven and he still hasn’t noticed you! How the hell do you even know he likes peppermint?” She says, huffing at the end.
“I just do, okay?” I say defensively and carefully take the drink holders the server put in front of us at the counter.
“When are you going to get over this obsession with him?” Dacey asks in a softer voice as she grabs the other two.
“It is not an obsession. I just think he’s nice. That’s all.” I say, severely downplaying my feelings for Parker.
We get over to the gazebo, which is now filled with our group, and start handing out the drinks. “Dace, go give this to Parker, please.” I beg quietly, trying to hand her the cup.
“Nope, you ordered it. You can give it to him.” She says, stepping back slightly.
My eyes widen, “Dacey!”
She just grins evilly and walks away, leaving me to publicly humiliate myself. Sucking it up and using what very little courage I have, I move over to where Parker is standing with some of the other guys in the group. “Uh, here’s your hot chocolate, Parker.” I say quickly, blushing as I thrust the cup towards him. Luckily there’s a lid on it, so it doesn’t spill.
He smiles and takes it, “Thanks Cari.” I feel myself blushing harder at the use of my nickname. He takes a small sip of it and I watch as his eyes widen, “There’s peppermint in it.” He says, sounding surprised.
I bite my lip, “Is that bad?” I ask, wondering if he didn’t actually like it that way.
“No! It’s perfect. But how did you know?” He asks, taking another sip of it.
“Oh, uh… I was behind you in line at the Coffee House the other day and I take mine the same way, so it was easy to remember.” I say, not mentioning that I was at least six people behind him and that once in seventh grade, we were paired to do a questionnaire with each other and he said his favorite drink was peppermint hot chocolate. I don’t think he needs to know that I remember every answer he gave me for that list though.
“That’s really cool.” He says with a grin, “Thanks for remembering. My night just got even better.” I go to turn away and almost have a heart attack when he gives me a small wink. Instead of freaking out, I move through the crowd to Dacey, who’s got the smile of a proud mother on her face.
“You two are so damn cute!” She exclaims, pulling me to her chest in a dramatic gesture. I laugh and push her away, trying to look intimidating despite my 5’3 height. Dacey, along with almost everybody else I know, has a good five inches on me.
“Stop it! People can hear you.” I complain.
“What did he say?” She asks.
“Nothing.” I deny, not wanting her to know what a stalker I am.
“Come on, give me details!” She whines.
“No!” I whine back.
We both glare at each other before breaking down in giggles. Not long after, Mom starts to round everybody together. The entire town knows about us caroling tonight, and a lot of people are already at the square, ready to hear us. We’ll sing in the gazebo for about an hour or two tonight, on Christmas Eve. Then tomorrow is Christmas and we will walk around town so everybody can hear us.
I naturally end up in front, since I’m the shortest in the group, with Dacey on the other side of the gazebo. Unlike some choirs, my mom likes to spread out the different vocal sections so we’re a better mix all together. I’m actually surrounded by a bunch of guys, unfortunately not Parker, and I think Mom did it on purpose to challenge me. I tend to have a small voice in large groups, and I’m going to have to put some real effort not to be drowned out by the guys.
We’ve all been practicing so much that we don’t even need our sheet music anymore. To add some music to the songs a few of us, including me, have bells, and one guy has his ukulele. “Alright guys, let’s start out with Jingle Bell Rock.” Mom says, holding her arms out, waiting for the most dramatic moment to begin. When the first song is done, we move straight into ‘Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire’, and the night carries on from there.
By the time we’re done, I’m so cold I’m actually shivering. I should have worn something to cover my ears, but I didn’t even think about it. I’m so focused on making my teeth stop clicking together that I don’t even notice when the group begins to leave the gazebo. When I do notice, I most slowly down the steps, careful not to trip on the ice.
“Hey, are you okay?” I hear from beside me once I get closer to the group. I look over to see Parker looking at me with a concerned expression.
“H-hey… I’m f-fine.” I say, chuckling a little bit.
He grins and takes my hand, “How about we go somewhere warm?” He offers.
Deep inside, I’m freaking out because Parker Thomas is actually holding my hand right now. But I don’t need to work hard to hide it; that’s how cold I am. So I just nod.
We enter one of the buildings nearby and I can feel the heat working its way to my bones. I sigh in relief. Tomorrow I’ll be wearing something much warmer. I look around and see that we’re in line at the Coffee House again. “What are we doing here?” I ask now that I’ve stopped shivering.
“I figured some cocoa would help warm you up.” He says, smiling and paying the woman behind the counter.
“Oh, that’s really sweet, but I can pay for it.” I say, reaching into my pocket.
I feel his hand on my arm, stopping me from pulling anything out, “No, I’ve got this.” He says kindly.
I feel a blush come over my cheeks and I just nod, afraid to say anything else. We stand in silence until he says, “Come here.” I turn to look at him, confused until he lightly cups his warm hands over my ears and I groan in satisfaction.
“Your ears are bright red.” He says softly.
I nod, “This feels amazing.” I say with a small smile.
“Good.” He hasn’t smiled at all since he put his hands over my ears and it makes me wonder what I did wrong. Parker is always smiling.
“Here you go.” We hear from beside us as a man sets two large mugs in front of us. They’re the kind you can’t take out of the store.
“Let’s go sit by the fire.” Parker says, leading me towards the hearth. I follow him like an obedient puppy, sitting down in the spot he offered me beside him on the couch. I curl up on my side of the cushions, slightly hugging my legs.
“So…” I say after a few minutes of silence.
He looks over smiling at me, “So.”
I grin, “So we should talk. I hate sitting in silence.” I admit.
“What should we talk about?” He asks. I shrug, my shyness getting the better of me.
“What’s your favorite class?” He asks, breaking the ice.
“Choir?” I offer with a laugh.
“You’re in choir?” He asks, confused. Parker is in choir too, but I tried out for a more selective one at the beginning of the year and got in, so we’re in different classes.
“Yeah, I’m in the advanced choir with Mrs. Hayward.”
“Nice.” He says, sounding impressed. My insides turn to goo when I think that I’ve actually said something that he thinks is good.
“What about you?” I ask in return.
“Oh, I really like History.” He says, smiling widely. At first I can’t tell if he’s joking or not, then I see that he’s serious.
“You really like history?” I ask, just to make sure.
He nods, “Yeah, a lot. That’s what I want to do in college. I’m going to major in it and then teach it.”
“So you want to be a teacher?”
He nods again. “That’s really cool.” I say, smiling. Of all the things I imagined him doing, it was never a teacher. The things I thought he’d do were more like modeling.
“You seem surprised.” He tells me with an amused expression.
I shrug, “Not surprised necessarily, I just wasn’t expecting it.”
“Well what were you expecting?” He asks, leaning forward.
I blush and shrug, “Nothing really.” I lie.
“No, come on, tell me.” He says, still grinning.
“I don’t know, I just pictured you doing something more like...” I pause, trying to think of something that won’t offend him, “Becoming a singer or something.” I say.
He starts laughing, “Why a singer?” He asks, still chuckling.
I feel a deep blush take over my cheeks, “Well I don’t know! I’ve seen you here on open mic night. It’s pretty clear that you’re amazing.” My cheeks only get darker when I realize what I just told him.
If Parker notices the blush, he ignores it. “Well same with you… you have an incredible voice. Are you going to be a singer?” He asks, raising one eyebrow at me.
I shake my head adamantly, “Oh no. I don’t think I could sing all by myself.” I tell him.
He grins and nods a bit, “You have always been shy.”
My eyes widen a tiny bit, “I have not!”
“Yeah you have!” He argues in a playful voice.
“Well I’m sitting here with you, aren’t I?” I ask, smiling.
His smile fades to a grin as he nods, “Yes, but I never really thought it’d happen.”
“What?” I ask, clearly having heard him wrong.
“Well you’re always jittery around me, and if I try to talk to you, you say one word and run away.” He says, giving me a pointed look.
I shrug and look away, not wanting to explain to him that I get flustered because I like him so much.
By now, we’re both mostly done with our drinks so I stand up and thank him. “I’ve had a really great time. Thanks for the cocoa.” I say.
He stands too, looking almost disappointed, though I’m sure that’s not it. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Cari.” He says, pulling me into a hug that catches me off guard. I hug him back, relishing his arms around me.
“See ya, Parker.” I say with a smile before running home.
***
I wake up the next morning, run into Mom’s room, and jump on the bed. Yes, I’m seventeen, and yes, I’m too old to do this, but I really don’t care. “Mommmmm!!” I say, dragging it out.
She grumbles and pulls the pillow over her head. “Mom, it’s Christmas! We have to go see if Santa came!” I shriek.
She pulls the pillow away and laughs at me, clearly amused by my childlike enthusiasm. “I doubt he did, you’ve been a pain in my ass all year.” She complains, standing up and pulling on her slippers.
I scoff, “Yeah right! I work hard all year round to be good so the man will treat me will.” I say indignantly, trying to hold in my chuckle.
“Come on, I need coffee then we can do presents.” She says, heading towards the stairs.
“Okay!” I sing before skipping past her and down the stairs to the kitchen, where I get things started. I’m not actually this excited, but it makes both of us happier when I act like I did when I was little.
“Are you ready?” I ask anxiously when she’s filled her mug.
She nods sleepily and nudges me towards the family room, where our tree is. I giggle when I see that my stocking does, indeed, have gifts in it. Mom’s is full too, since it’s always fun to open the gifts from your stocking. We both laugh when we see that Santa had the same gift ideas for both of us and we each got a lot of jewelry from him.
“Okay, open this!” I say, handing her a large bag.
She looks at me cautiously before opening it and gasping. For the entire school year, I’ve been using my free hour at school to crochet her an afghan. It turned out quite well, if you ask me. “Did you really make this?” She asks, pulling it out of the bag.
I nod, “You said we needed one for our movie nights.” I explain.
“Yeah, but I thought we’d just buy one! You didn’t need to make it.” She says, clearly surprised.
I shrug, “I want you to remember me every time you use that.” I say.
She gives me a teary smile before handing me a couple boxes. “Here.” She says simply, laughing when I smile widely. Mom can’t wrap anything, so she usually uses pre-wrapped boxes or bags for her gifts.
In the boxes are mostly clothes, then some gloves and scarves, a pair of boots, nail polish, and hair supplies. “Thank you so much!” I say sincerely. She got everything that I would’ve picked for myself.
“I’m glad you like them.” She says, pulling me into a hug. I kiss her cheek and tell her that I really do like them a lot.
We spend the rest of the day playing board games and watching Christmas movies until it’s time to get ready. I decided this morning that I’d be wearing the clothes Mom got me. I know a lot of people wouldn’t match the patterns I do, but I love them all together. I’ve got on a soft grey long sleeved shirt with a blue tank top under it, tucked into a navy blue skirt with white polka-dots on it, wintery grey tights, knee high dark grey socks, black boots, a brown leather jacket, blue and grey striped scarf, and blue gloves. I curl my hair and put on a knit headband to keep my ears warm.
Before we leave, I make sure to grab the gift off the counter. At the gazebo, we wait a bit for everybody to arrive and finally I see Parker walking up to the group. With only a slight hesitation I walk up to him. “Merry Christmas, Parker.” I say shyly.
He smiles widely, probably not expecting me to talk to him after his comment yesterday about me being so jittery. “Merry Christmas, Carol.” He says in return, pulling me in for another hug. I still can’t believe that he’s actually hugging me.
When I pull back, I hand him the small gift bag. “Here, it’s a thank you for warming me up yesterday.” I say simply.
He takes the bag and carefully pulls out the mason jar full of hot cocoa mix with candy canes lining the edges. “Wow, this is awesome!” He says, smiling widely.
“I’m glad you like it.” I say, smiling back. Hot cocoa is always my go-to gift when I can’t decide what to give somebody.
“I didn’t get you anything though.” He says with a sudden frown.
I shake my head, “Gifts aren’t given to be gotten in return.” I tell him with a smile.
“Well I’ll think of something.” He promises, making me giggle.
“Okay, Parker.” I say softly before walking away.
Mom comes running up to us in a tizzy, “Both of the other sopranos are sick.” She exclaims, making my eyes widen.
“How is that possible?” I ask.
“It doesn’t matter. You’re going to have to take ‘Carol of the Bells’ tonight.” She says worriedly.
My eyes widen. “No, I can’t do that.” I exclaim. Carol of the Bells is the one song in our entire set that people had to audition for. Although we all sing it, one soprano and one bass take the lead, with the rest of us acting as an echo.
“Carol, you have to. We don’t have a choice.” She exclaims.
“Mom, I can’t do a solo like that…” I stop talking when I feel Parker take my hand in his.
“I’m the Bass, Cari. We could sing it together. It won’t be so bad.” I feel like I’m going to be sick. How do I turn down the guy I’ve liked since elementary school?
“What if I mess up?” I ask worriedly, looking back and forth between Mom and Parker.
“Then the people of this town know that you’ve tried your best and won’t judge you.” Mom says sincerely.
“I hate you both.” I say, gnawing on my bottom lip. I don’t mean it though, and they both know that.
“Alright, come on, we’ve got to get moving.” She says. Before long, we’re all moving as one, singing our merry songs along the way.
By the time we’re ready for ‘Carol of the Bells’, which is our last song, people are watching from their open doorways. I try to swallow the fear, but it doesn’t do much. “You’ll be great.” Parker says, taking my hand as we face each other in front of the group.
I nod but don’t actually believe him. Taking a deep breath, Mom gives us our queue to start and it takes off from there. The nerves are with me the whole time, but it’s almost as though I’ve stepped out of my own body and it’s just happening. Suddenly, there’s clapping and I look up at Parker, smiling like a fool. Without thinking, I jump up and wrap my arms around his neck, giggling lightly. His arms wrap around my waist, lifting me off the ground. We’re both laughing as we turn to look at each other.
Almost without thinking, our faces get closer and our lips meet halfway in a kiss that I never imagined would happen. Well, I imagined it, but I never really thought it’d come true. His lips are soft and moist against mine, moving slightly to get even closer to me. I wrap my arms tighter around his neck and try to remember every single detail of this moment.
Only when I hear Dacey chanting ‘Get some!’ do I pull away from him with a blush gracing my cheeks. He grins and cups my cheek in his palm. We stare at each other, silly grins on our lips the entire time, for a bit until the group moves us back to the gazebo. Without talking about it, we both head over to the Coffee House, get drinks, and sit on the same couch as yesterday.
“That was… interesting.” I say, not sure what else to call it.
He smiles and moves a little so our knees are touching, “I’ve wanted to do that for a long time.” He admits.
“Nuh uh!” I say in disbelief. There’s no way he’s wanted to kiss me.
“Yes huh!” He argues with a laugh.
“Since when?” I ask doubtfully.
He blushes, and it’s the first time I’ve seen that gorgeous pink on his cheeks, “You probably don’t remember this, but we got paired up in seventh grade for this question and answer thing. I just remember you being genuinely interested in everything I had to say. You were shy, but sweet and kept blushing every time I looked at you.” He smiles down at me, “It was so cute. I’ve wanted to get to know you better since then, but you’re always running away.” He says.
“I’ve had a crush on you since second grade, Parker. That’s why I was so interested, and that’s why I’m always running from you.” I admit shyly.
“No.” He denies.
“Yes.” I say, nodding softly.
“You mean I could’ve asked you out years ago and you’d have said yes?” He asks, appalled.
“In a heartbeat.” I confirm.
“Well crap!” He exclaims, laughing a little before leaning forward and placing his lips against mine. It’s a short, happy kiss. “Thank god for Carol of the Bells, or I never would have had the courage to do that.” He says.
I grin and lean forward to kiss him, stopping an inch away, “Neither would I.” I say, before placing my lips on his.