A/N: Hi everyone! Thanks for keeping track of the newest post to Jake and Tessa's story. I thought writing this story was going to be super-easy. I knew what happened in a general sense; I just have to build details into it. The fact that so much is known about it already actually presented the tougher challenge of having to create scenes and story lines that exist in a plot and timeline that have been designed for a different story. It's tough but it's been fun looking back into the little nooks and crannies of TMMM to find places for Jake and Tessa where I could tell their story.
Hope you enjoy!
*Dedicated to LDCrichton because she's an awesome human being and writes the kind of books I want to read nonstop. Make sure to check her out if you haven't already and show her some love!
***
Jake
I should really turn around and go to her.
I didn't like the look of hurt on her face. She deserved to have a smile permanently stay there, lighting up the world around her.
Leave it, Jake. Let her sort it out with him. They're going to be married in a week, after all.
I didn't quite know how to describe how I was feeling about all of this tonight.
I was still reeling, I guess, and for a number of reasons.
When I left a couple weeks ago for Bangkok, Brandon was still dating Simone. She seemed like a good match for him—gorgeous, polished manners, financially independent. She was always the kind of woman I thought Brandon would eventually end up with when he was ready to settle down. For all his appreciation of attractive women and convenient relationships, he was the marrying, family-guy kind. He was too much like his father and he doted on his family like no one I knew. And then I came home to what I thought was a prank invite to his engagement party. I went there ready to pull him aside and maybe shake him a little because this was, frankly, a little insane. I'd known the guy for twenty-nine years. He'd never demonstrated this kind of impulsive streak before so clearly, something else was at play here.
Oh, it's something else, alright.
Brandon was just plain besotted with his fiancée. He couldn't stop gazing at her, couldn't stop touching her as if he needed the constant contact. I knew he cared a lot about Simone but how he was with Charlotte was at an entirely different level, no matter how he tried to play it down and pretend it was nothing unusual.
And looking at Charlotte, I could see all the things about her that didn't match Brandon's preferences but despite all that, she seemed perfect—just absolutely perfect—for him.
No, she wasn't a classic beauty like Simone or Anna. Her combined features made for a pretty enough face to an objective eye. What caught you off guard and made you look a second time though was this sense of brightness that just seemed to flow from her—in her sparkling green-eyes that seemed laughing half the time, the impish tilt of her mouth as if she were holding back from saying something mischievous, and her impatient energy as if she needed to be doing something other than stand there and be pretty and polite. She was a stark contrast to the poised, elegant females in Brandon's history but her playfulness and sense of humor seemed to be the perfect antidote to my friend's often too-serious view in life.
And that was probably why I didn't vocalize a single protest even when I'd come to this party armed with a hundred of them.
I was sold—until my bonehead friend thought it was a brilliant idea to invite Simone to the party. Worse, he danced with her. I tried to talk him out of it before Charlotte could spot him but he was adamant that it was harmless. He should've seen the hurt on Charlotte's face and he'd know just how harmless it was.
For a split-second she'd looked crushed and that made my heart ache a little. How could he do that to her? He should consider himself damn lucky she agreed to marry him. He was going to bask in that light all his life but instead he decided to catch up with Simone who should've known better than to make an appearance tonight. She was probably smarting from Brandon's abrupt change of heart but one look at him and Charlotte should've made it very clear that she never had a chance.
Just like you don't have a chance with Charlotte, Jake.
I rubbed my jaw as I coasted along the quieting night streets, trying to wrap my head around where I stood exactly. I was feeling a bit disoriented, realizing that I was too impressed with my best friend's fiancee when I had no business to be.
I admired Charlotte right away. Adored her instantly. And I wouldn't mind being in Brandon's shoes standing under all that light. But at the same time, I couldn't reconcile the sight of Charlotte with someone else other than Brandon. That it couldn't be anyone else making her beam happily like that other than him. The two of them together made such perfect sense—as if they fueled each other's fire and together, they could only glow.
Warm and fuzzies, alright.
I smiled, remembering Tessa's comment. She said it at first with such indifference as if the fact bored her. The next second, her temper crackled and her dark, gold-flecked eyes flashed with indignation as she riled me for being the ultimate proof of why she couldn't give any semblance of love or committed relationships much credit.
She was spectacular in those rare moments when she lost her cool and calm composure and flared hot and angry. It was discomfiting sometimes because it was a Tessa I didn't know too well but before I could catch her at a standstill and investigate, she'd close up—coolly and calmly as always—and move away. It was a little maddening. Like trying to catch an ember and finding it gone.
My smile mellowed but it didn't leave my face as I found myself pulling up in front of a familiar condo building. It was late but we had some unfinished business.
I had to take a chance.
"Hey," I said when she picked up at the third ring. "You still at the party?"
"No. I went home after you and Charlotte left."
"Perfect. Wanna grab some ice cream?"
"What? All the French dessert they served at the party wasn't enough?"
I grinned. "It was all too fancy. I just need some plain old chocolate ice cream from the store."
"I'm already in pajamas, Jake!" Despite her reluctance, I could picture out Tessa wrinkling her nose in self-debate. She would never say it out loud but I could always see her rationalizing her actions, as if she detested doing anything she didn't plan on but craved a little bit of that spontaneity. She would never do it on her own so someone else had to prod her into it. Which was why I occasionally called her up to grab some random food. Tonight just happened to be the only time that it was late and probably inconvenient. But she needed to loosen up and stop hating me after her mild outburst earlier tonight and I needed company. She was one of the few girls I knew who wouldn't spin a late night drive for ice cream into a soap-operatic romance.
"Put your robe on and come downstairs. We'll stop by at a convenience store where no one knows us and we'll sit in the car and eat," I told her, imagining the look of horror in her face at my suggestion.
"No, Jake."
I wasn't really sure why I got a kick out of discomposing Tessa but I couldn't help it. She was always so serious.
"I'm already downstairs. I'm not going to leave until you get down here."
"Well, I hope your car is comfortable because you're going to spend all night in it," she retorted with a huff.
"You're not seriously going to make me wait down here, are you?"
"Someone needs to occasionally refuse you, Jake. I'll try not to enjoy being that person too much."
Whoever said that Tessa was timid just didn't know her well enough.
"Come down so I can give you puppy dog eyes and we can see how long you last," I teased, having too much fun.
"I don't like puppies."
I laughed. "Oh, now, you're just lying. I remember you bawling when your Dad had to give away that little terrier because Mattie's allergic. What was its name again? Skipper?"
"It was Stealer because he was always stealing our shoes," Tessa grumbled in response. "You just don't play fair, do you?"
"I'm a ruthless businessman. Of course, I don't play fair."
She scoffed. "You're a pain in the ass, that's what you are. Give me five minutes."
I spent the next five minutes imagining the kind of lecture she would heap over my head and grinning about it. She didn't disappoint when she showed up with thirty seconds to spare, wrapped in a fluttery, silky-looking robe with large colorful flowers printed on it. It reminded me of a kimono but the sexy kind. And it looked sexy, as much as I tried not to notice that fact. It was a bit sheer and clung to her slender frame which was clad in a simple black tank top and matching leggings. Even with her face scrubbed clean of makeup and her hair loosely braided on the side, she still looked rosy-cheeked and pulled together.
"You might think that I'm down here because you're just so damn good at getting what you want but that's not it," she said as a matter-of-factly. "I want ice cream and I'm wiling to be inconvenienced by the convenience of your appearance to go get some for myself. You can save your puppy dog eyes for someone who might actually fall for them."
"Is that why you're avoiding making eye contact with me?" I teased. "Because you can totally resist them?"
She still didn't look at me. She flipped down the visor and pretended to fix her hair on the mirror oh so casually. "I won't dignify that statement with an attempt to prove you wrong when I already know I'm right."
I didn't even bother to hide my smirk. "Coward."
"Conceited," she said breezily before finally flipping the visor back. She glanced around the car, still avoiding my gaze.
"So, after all that fast food, you still want ice cream, huh?" she said, raising her brow at the rumpled bag of take-out sitting between our seats.
I'd driven Charlotte home from the party after she got pissed off at the sight of Brandon dancing with Simone, and at her request, we stopped by to get some fast food. She'd been in the car, biting through a cheeseburger, when she'd burst into tears. She ripped Brandon when he called demanding her whereabouts but told me to leave her to deal with him when we found him waiting outside her house.
"When I sin, I go all the way," I told her with a suggestive wiggle of my brows.
I expected a sniping comeback so I was surprised when her serene expression softened into a smile, those dark eyes shimmering in the poor lighting inside the car. "If your version of hell has ice cream, count me in."
"That's what I'm talking about, Tess!" I cheered as I raised a hand to her for a high five. She slapped it back with vigor just before she cranked up the music in my car as we pulled back out on the road. Augustana's old album came to life and I sang along out loud, causing Tessa to laugh.
Yes, I was a fully-formed adult and occasionally, I could be serious, but on nights like this, with a girl like Tessa, I wanted to have fun.
We found our way to a small convenience store at the corner of Charles Street. We made for a strange-looking pair with me in my dress pants, silk shirt and loosened tie (the jacket tossed to the backseat) and Tessa in her floaty boho-chic ensemble. There was a pair of younger guys in there checking her out while she was selecting flavors so I hovered close to her and sent them a sharp look. No one was making a move on her on my watch.
"Cookie dough for me and plain chocolate for you," she said as she handed me a pint. "We're going to need some spoons."
We left the store with a pint of ice cream each, a small box of disposable plastic spoons and a pack of Sour Patch Kids because why not?
"Wanna go for a drive?" I asked her as we got into the car. "We can sit somewhere with a nice view and eat our ice cream."
She raised a brow at me in suspicion. "We're just going to sit there and eat ice cream?"
I allowed a little of my exasperation to show through. "Star-gazing and a little small talk might be involved but yeah, that's about it. Why? What kind of atrocities do you think me capable of inflicting on young women?"
She narrowed her eyes at me. "Was that a hypothetical question or would you actually like a list?"
Her cool stare shut me up. I really should watch the things that come out of my mouth because Tessa never had qualms about shoving them right back.
"Just tell me if you want me to drop you back home because I will," I grumbled. "You don't have to keep an old man like me company if you don't want to."
Tessa rolled her eyes and sat back in her seat. "No need to guilt-trip me, Jake, or add a decade to your already advanced years. Just drive and get there before my ice cream melts."
The little smile hovering on her lips was the only indication that she wasn't really ticked off so I drove us up along Longfellow Bridge and down Cambridge Parkway.
Tessa didn't say anything as she peered out the window, taking the sights in.
The road across a row of residential buildings ran alongside Charles River and looked out to the Boston skyline.
"It's one of my favorite places around here," I told her as I pulled up to a quieter end of the street and turned off the engine. "Home looks beautiful from here, don't you think?"
The city lights were incandescent against the backdrop of the star-specked night sky and blurred on the glossy, serene surface of the water. The iconic Zakim Bridge was fully lit in the distance, each of the cable spreading out from the two inverted Y-shaped towers glowing like neon sticks.
"It does," she said in a soft voice free from her usual dry cynicism. It made her sound young and sweet and dreamy—something she hasn't been much lately.
Her profile was starkly outlined by the distant lights as she looked out the window, only small glimpses of her features illuminated in the shadows—the faint curl of sooty lashes on one eye, the perfect slope of her small nose, the lush curve of her bottom lip, the graceful line of her neck.
I sucked in a breath when I felt my lungs suddenly void of air, knocking me out of my trance at the same time.
Good lord, Jake. She's your best friend's little sister. Stop waxing poetic about her lashes and her neck.
Quietly, I picked up our bag and distributed the ice cream tubs and spoons. For once, we ate quietly without a word said. Tessa was busy gazing out at the city lights while I was secretly gazing at her, trying to remember when exactly did she grow up to become so bewitching. Because she was—she must be—otherwise, I had no plausible explanation for why I couldn't peel my eyes off her. Or why, out of all the people I knew, I decided to drag her out with me after such an unsettling evening. Tonight, I'd met a girl who floored me and I saw for myself the kind of tangle my best friend had no way (or intention) of extricating himself from. And to cope, I badgered Tessa, who was no one's first suggestion for comforting the soul—especially mine—to come out with me until I could right myself again after some ice cream and some peace and quiet.
Yes, there's a reason and it's not the mystical kind. Get a grip, man.
Right. About that...
"About what you said earlier..." I started, trailing off when she tilted her head up to look at me with a gaze so direct, I started to feel nervous. "About me being the reason why you don't believe—"
"I referred to you as an example of those people in general who play fast and loose with other people's hearts," she interjected. "It wasn't specifically you, Jake."
"It wasn't?" I wasn't sure why that clarification miffed me. Probably because what had sounded so personal now wasn't so personal anymore. "I thought maybe..."
"You thought what?" There was a challenge in her eyes, daring me to make assumptions and guaranteeing there would be hell to pay for them.
Hell it is, then.
"I thought that maybe I hurt you," I finished. "Maybe I did something before and I just didn't know about it."
Her expression betrayed nothing and everything because it told me that whatever it was behind that outburst was something Tessa didn't want to talk about.
"You overestimate your charm if you think you broke my heart or something like that, Jake," she said quietly. "And you underestimate what I understand of the world in assuming that I don't know the ugly side of adult relationships. We've capitalized on it with every song, TV show and movie that's out there about it."
Very valid point, yes, but it didn't set me at ease.
Because I knew Tessa well enough. And despite being distracted earlier, I didn't miss the note of hurt in her voice when she spoke. I decided against confronting her right then and there, knowing she'd sealed the emotion away for the meantime. But now, I needed her to come clean.
"If it's not me, then maybe some other dude," I pressed, watching for a change in her face. "I'm not underestimating your wisdom, Tess. You have an astounding amount of it for someone your age. But wisdom isn't an impenetrable suit that will protect you from people's actions. So if someone had the gall to hurt you or be careless with your affections, tell me his or her name and I'll make them pay."
Her lips moved for a fraction of a second, and I couldn't be sure if she was about to smile or cry. She didn't do either. She turned her head away and stared down at the tub of melting ice cream in her hand, absently digging the spoon into it.
"There's no need to protect or avenge me, Jake," she said with a sigh. "You're not my older brother."
I frowned. "I never said I was."
She lifted her eyes back at me and they looked a little bit angry. "Then stop acting like Brandon's stand-in. I'm not giving you any names because there's none to give. Even if there were, I still wouldn't tell you because if the experience gave me a more realistic perspective of the world, then I say I owe them for the education."
This was not going well for me. If I kept prodding, I would most likely end up with half a tub of cookie dough ice cream on my head. But Tessa was clearly drawing the line and I had to respect it. I didn't have to like it because I still wanted to hustle up whoever the moron was but it would have to wait for now.
She was here and I was wasting a perfectly good view of the city skyline and good old chocolate ice cream.
"Fine. We won't talk about it anymore," I told her, leaning back against my seat. "But if some guy's giving you problems, tell me. I can sort them out for you faster than therapy."
Her smile was reluctant but it was there and my chest loosened up a little. "Sure, Doctor Love. I have you on speed-dial."
"I'm serious," I muttered.
She shrugged a delicate shoulder. "You always are."
It would never end if I gave another comeback because Tessa always liked to have the last word in. And she usually did—not out of my indulgence but because she could. So I let it go.
"Thanks for coming out tonight with me," I said after a few minutes of silence and we were both scraping the bottom of the tub. We would pay for this tomorrow but life was short.
"Ice cream's a good excuse for most things," she said noncommittally. "Even soothing your wounded heart."
"My heart's not wounded," I said. "Charlotte's an amazing girl but I've got eyes, Tess. And I can see just how much she loves your brother."
"Interesting insight you've got," she muttered under her breath. She said the next words in a much lower voice that I could barely make them out. "Wonder if it only works occasionally."
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"Nothing important." She beamed and shook her head and raised her empty tub of ice cream. "To my brother and Charlotte. May they find happiness. And to you and me and all the reluctant romantics out there. May we be proven one way or the other so we can make up our minds someday."
Cute by cynical but I still raised my own empty tub and bumped it against hers.
For the first time in my life, I was starting to give love some credence.
It must exist.
I saw it tonight between and a man and a woman who were complete opposites of each other and couldn't care less about it. And it didn't look so bad. It definitely looked nothing like the civil but cold marriage my parents continued to share all these years when divorce was easier and less painful to all parties involved than their outright farce.
Tessa would find love someday—the real, happy and faithful kind.
There was no doubt about it.
I just wished she wouldn't be hardened by the lack of it until that day came.
***
Tessa
The memory of that night stayed with me long after Jake drove me home. I knew I should've never listened to the reckless impulse that put me in his car that night. While I'd cured him out of my system, I didn't like inviting a relapse by serving myself up on a plate for him to carve up into pieces again. But Jake wasn't used to the word No and he'd learned over the years to charm himself around that word until no one said it to him anymore. And he was adamant about getting to the bottom of my outburst. I almost wondered what his reaction would be if I'd blurted out his name when he demanded who'd broken my heart. How was he going to punish himself?
But I didn't say any of that because like I'd told Jake, I owed him for my education.
It was an education that served me well in the last couple years and was only reinforced by the disaster after Charlotte's bachelorette party.
It had already been off to a rocky start.
To say that Anna was having an emotional crisis was an understatement. My beautiful, wonderful sister—in love with a married man—was barely holding it together that day which happened to be Jason's wedding anniversary. Despite mine and Charlotte's attempts at watering down her drinks and distracting her at the party, she was only obsessed with the idea of her dearly beloved bastard boyfriend celebrating with his wife. No amount of shaking her or yelling at her got me anywhere so I left because I couldn't stand seeing Anna that way anymore. It was a toxic relationship that she would not be talked out of and it was the reason why I'd moved out of our shared apartment. It wasn't just me trying to pester her about it. There might have been an incident when I didn't so accidentally wash him down with root beer that one time he had the nerve to show up at our apartment for a surprise romantic visit. Instead of handing him a towel, I handed him a lengthy list of reasons why he should take himself off not just out of our place but out of my sister's life. Neither of them appreciated it so I took myself off instead.
I left the party before I could freak out and went home—a decision that I now regretted because while I knew Charlotte did her best to keep an eye on Anna, my staying could've meant preventing everything that had happened tonight.
"Is she okay? Is Charlotte okay?" I directed the question to no one in particular as I rushed into my sister's hospital room. Anna was already asleep, as serene as an angel, the swollen bruise on her cheek the only evidence of tonight's disaster. Brandon hadn't told me much when he called except that Anna and Charlotte were mugged and attacked out on the street. Neither of us said it out loud but we both knew where said street was close to.
"Tess, hey."
I turned around at Jake's gentle greeting and saw him rising from a corner chair. None of his usual humor was present. His dark blonde hair was messy as if he'd run his hand through it a few times, his eyes tired and unsmiling.
"Is she okay? What did the doctors say?" I asked as I approached Anna's bed. I had too many questions but I couldn't bear to wake my sister when this was probably the first rest she's had tonight. "Her cheek looks horrible. Did they fix it? Are they—"
"They're keeping her overnight to observe for signs of concussion but the doctor said she's going to be okay. Bruised but okay," Jake assured me as he fell into a step next to me.
My hand clenched and unclenched as my worry started to dissipate and give way to anger. "How about Charlotte? Where is she? Is she okay? I want to see her too."
"She's a little roughed up but Brandon took her home," he said. "You can visit her tomorrow morning."
I released a shaky breath and straightened my spine. "I hope they got the scumbags who did this to them."
"They're in jail right now and your brother's making sure they're dealt with for everything." I didn't look up when Jake put a hand on my shoulder. Part of me wanted to shrink from it, knowing that the contact would weaken me and someday reduce me into what my sister had become, and another part wanted to take more of that touch until all this tension drained away from me.
"Tess, are you okay?" he asked softly.
I forced myself to look up into his eyes this time. "What do you think? I was safe and secure in my apartment, Jake, watching old TV shows in my pajamas when I could've been looking out better for my sisters."
Charlotte may not have been mine and Anna's idea of a sister-in-law but after ripping the hem of her own dress at her engagement party to cover the ugly stain on mine with no reservation or judgement, she had my loyalty. Not just because she was soon going to be real family but also because for all the social cuts she'd endured from us and our friends throughout high school, she didn't think twice about coming to our aid. First to mine during her engagement party and tonight to Anna's according to Brandon's rundown of the events.
"It's not your fault," he told me, slowly pushing against my shoulder to turn me toward him. I moved but I didn't meet his eyes so he tilted my chin up. "Anna's old enough to make decisions for herself—even the bad ones. You can't blame yourself for their consequences."
There was no judgement or disapproval in his eyes and his words had been gently spoken.
"So you know? About her and..."
He shrugged. "Just because I never seem to stop talking doesn't mean I'm not listening. Brandon's tried to talk to her before but like I said, at the end of the day, she decides what happens next. We'll have to let her tread the waters on her own."
"And let her drown for a fucking coward of a man?" I snapped, angry tears prickling my eyes. "He doesn't deserve her. A man who cares so little for her heart doesn't deserve a piece of it. She needs to see that and let it go because there's nothing there for her. She'll be waiting for something she'll never have."
My vehemence came from a deep, dark place inside of me that was familiar with the same hurt, carved out by the same guy who was telling me right now to allow the same thing to happen to my sister.
Thanks, but no thanks, Jake.
And somehow he sensed that because his hand dropped from my face and he moved away. He walked toward the window and leaned against it, his arms crossed, his hand rubbing his jaw as he watched me quietly. I didn't know what he could see but I sharply reminded myself that I wasn't there for him. I was there for my sister whose hands were getting skinned raw from holding on to a rope that attached to nothing at the other end. My hands bore similar scars.
I sat down on a chair next to Anna and covered her hand with mine.
I said nothing as I gave her hand an encouraging squeeze, forgetting the man who stood and watched me from a distance I, myself, should have kept many years ago.
***
So, what do you guys think?
Someone might ask why am I spending the time to let Jake process through his feelings for Charlotte. I have to because it's important to understand just exactly the kind of feelings he was having for her in the first place if he's to convince us of the depth of his connection with Tessa later on. I can't really pretend he wasn't infatuated with her in the beginning.
Tessa continues to surprise me. We knew a lot about Jake from TMMM but Tessa was a more distant character and I wasn't sure if she would start to materialize as her own distinct personality without too much help. I'm glad to see that she's been having to put on different facets of her personality to deal with her ill-advised attraction to Jake and the kind of life and emotional safeguard she'd built for herself.
Someone also made the comment that there are very prominent Tessa's in Wattpad—from the After Series and The Bad Boy's Girl—and here I am introducing another one. It's a huge compliment but I want to explain where the name came from. I actually used Tessa for sentimentality's sake. My parents almost named me Tessa had I been born on the due date. I was overdue by almost a month and was born during the feast of Santo Nino so being devout Catholics, my parents changed my name to Ninya. So that's the long-short history of Tessa's name choice despite the name being huge around Wattpad. I have great respect for both Anna Todd and Blair and the fandoms they've built with their stories so to share the same character name is pretty cool to me.
Anyway, have a good week!
P.S. Chose this song because it's called Boston and that's the view these two had while in the car eating ice cream. =)
♪♪♪ Chapter Soundtrack: Boston by Augustana ♪♪♪
In the light of the sun, is there anyone? Oh, it has begun...
Oh dear, you look so lost, your eyes are red and tears are shed,
This world you must've crossed...
You said...
You don't know me, and you don't even care, oh yeah,
And you said
You don't know me, and you don't wear my chains... oh yeah,
Essential yet appealed, you carry all your thoughts across an open field,
When flowers gaze at you... they're not the only ones who cry when they see you
You said...
You don't know me, and you don't even care, oh yeah,
Well you said
You don't know me, and you don't wear my chains... oh yeah,