Ellie hardly spoke as they drove back to Rose and Amanda’s house. She wasn’t actually sure what to say after everything that had happened, and she also didn’t especially want to talk.
She wanted Mia to be thinking instead. Thinking about what just hadn’t happened. She wanted Mia all full of need, not distracted by conversation. She wanted Mia barely able to stand the waiting until they got somewhere alone and Ellie could do all the things she wanted to do to Mia.
Even things Ellie didn’t know existed yet.
They drove back to Rose and Amanda’s in silence, and Ellie hoped Mia’s quiet was as much about aching with need as her own was.
Ellie was looking forward to what happened next. She looking forward a lot, but when they got back, things between Rose and Amanda had got a lot worse.
Rose was outside, standing in the driveway, looking furious and crying, both at the same time. Amanda was standing at the front door, as if she was blocking it, and not letting Rose back into the house.
“Fuck,” Mia said as they pulled up, and actually sounded worried. She stopped the ute, and got out, saying, “Hey, is everything okay…?”
It wasn’t.
Rose and Amanda both told her at once. Something about all Rose had done was ask if Amanda actually wanted this awful piece of shit that someone gave her, and suddenly Amanda had told her to leave.
Mia left the ute’s door open, and went towards the house, saying everything would be fine, just calm down.
Ellie stayed where she was. She didn’t think she knew Rose and Amanda well enough to get involved. She sat in the ute, and pretended not to be there, even though she could hear everything through the open driver’s door.
Mia went up to the house, sounding conciliatory, saying could they all calm down a bit please. Mia was trying, but it didn’t seem to be working. Amanda said she wanted Rose to leave. Just to leave, to go, that Rose could get the rest of her things another time, when Amanda was at work.
Mia reached Rose, and hugged her quickly, but was still trying to talk to Amanda.
Ellie thought the hug might be a mistake, in case it looked like Mia was taking sides.
Amanda seemed to think so too. She looked at Mia and Rose, and looked just icy cold, hurt and angry and exhausted too.
“Just go,” Amanda said. “Please.”
Then went inside and closed the door.
She probably locked it too, Ellie thought. Ellie would have. Just to make the point.
Rose looked distraught.
Mia was talking to Rose, standing in the middle of the driveway. She put her arm around Rose, and started leading her back towards the ute.
“Maybe we should go,” Mia was saying, “And let her calm down,” and Rose was nodding, seeming to agree. “She’s just angry,” Mia said, “She’ll calm down,” and Rose sniffed, and nodded, and let Mia lead her away from the house.
Mia opened one of the back doors of the ute, the one behind Ellie, and got Rose to sit there, half inside. Mia was hugging Rose, was rubbing Rose’s arm, and saying it would be okay, and it was fine just to go now, since they had most of Rose’s stuff.
Ellie sat where she was for a moment, unsure what to do. Unsure how serious this was.
Then she decided it was too late for polite, with Rose right behind her in the ute, and that continuing to ignore Rose was just weird.
Ellie sat up in her seat, and turned around, and tried to look sympathetic.
Sympathetic, since there wasn’t much useful she could do.
Mia was still hugging Rose, as best she could with Rose half in and half out the ute’s doorway. She saw Ellie move, and met Ellie’s eyes past Rose’s shoulder, and silently mouthed, “Sorry.”
Ellie shrugged and mouthed back, “It’s fine,” because there wasn’t really much else that Mia could do.
Ellie waited, like Mia seemed to be waiting, and let Rose cry herself out.
After a while Rose stopped, but she still looked completely shattered.
As if she hadn’t expected Amanda to actually tell her to go, Ellie thought. As if maybe the fighting was normal, and the squabbling as they packed had seemed almost normal too. But that now, once Amanda had actually closed the door, Rose was starting realize, truly realize, that it was over, and she was on her own.
Ellie felt awful for her.
She wanted to help. She just didn’t know how.
She felt helpless.
She felt horny too, and a little resentful as well. Because her flirting day of fun was being ruined.
Ellie stopped, and thought, and wondered where that had come from.
It was an awful thing to think. She felt ashamed. More than ashamed, because she was being quite breathtakingly selfish.
That made her feel guilty instead, and the guilt almost a relief.
Ellie looked at Mia, still hugging Rose, and mouthed, silently, “Don’t worry, it’s fine.” It was a complicated thing to try and say, silently like this, but Mia nodded, as if she understood.
“As long as you need,” Ellie mouthed, and Mia nodded again.
After a moment Mia mouthed, “Thank you.”