Love is a fickle thing, especially as it leads to people having false desires as they chase after this marketed idea of having a "happy ever after". For the longest time, I personally thought it was stupid. Why the hell would you spend your time chasing after something that seemed so unattainable? First, you gotta get them to notice you. Then they gotta love you til the very last drop. I think it's called "unconditional love", I think it's full of crap. Well I did, that is until I met her.
I am not going to lie to you, mac. I never got her name, that would have made it too easy. But what I do know, that she was my everything. Just by the mere brush of her skin against mine, I knew I was destined to be with her. Naturally, at first, I just wanted to be inside her. I know, I am sick. But that desire changed into something else as I heard her voice sing amongst the heavens. She was asking when I was going to expire as she proceeded to check me out from head to toe. Shivers rushed down my spine as she handled me with such delicateness and grace, I didn't know what to even say. She had me speechless. And for someone like me, that was an admirable act as I had always been known to be a conversation starter. I guess, that's what you get when you are part dairy.
From there, everything seemed to be a whirlwind of emotions as she cradled me in her arms like a lost relic. It was that moment that I wished that she never let me go. This embrace meant for a brief moment we were one. For that moment she was mine. It wasn't going to be until later when we were going to have our evening of physical pleasures. But rather than just having a moment of intimacy, I knew I was going to be shared amongst the many faces like some sort of whore. That was the norm, and I was used to it. But for this woman, I would give my entire being just to be with her for one brief moment in time. Alone. Maybe in her bedroom, but honestly I didn't have a preference. We could do it in the kitchen for all I cared. All I knew is that I wanted to be with her, forever. Honestly, I felt a bit like a fool as I could feel my brothers and sisters judge me from afar as we began to leave. But I didn't care. She was the one for me. As we made our way to her car I could only imagine what our children were going to look like. How we deserved to be together. I would give her everything she wanted, just as long as she let me be with her. Even if this meant we had to have a threesome with Ritz. I would be okay with that. I would leave everything entirely up to her.
Finally, we had left and made our journey home. Finally, we were going to have some alone time. Honestly, the car ride was a bit quiet in comparison to our initial meeting. I didn't blame her, though; we were still new in our relationship. And honestly, I was just a young thing. So, back then I was just shy. As she drove, her voice matched the tune that had been playing from a mysterious black box in the middle of the dashboard. With every beat, my beauty continued to dance as the metallic chariot whisked us home. I could feel myself becoming sweaty as I continued to watch her body move. Each of her curves coiled about as a snake would travel amongst the grass. She was beautiful. Although I was blinded by her physical appearance, I now know that she was nothing more than a black widow. And naturally, I fell into her trap of lies and deceit. Nothing in my years of training would prepare me for the events that would happen next.
As I remained hypnotized by her body, she then proceeded to show me into her apartment labeled 378B. It was small and quaint for the two of us as it was a one bedroom apartment. It was quite cute as you entered the main hall you found yourself within the living area. There was even a nice hole in the wall between the kitchen and the main room that allowed an occupant to not only cook, but watch television. Naturally, the bedroom was just around the corner with a washroom attached as well. It was perfect for us. Well, perfect until we start discussing the plans for all twelve of our children. I was already formulating names at this point, basic ones such as Brie, Monterey Jack, Miette, and Crowley. I am sure she too had some names in mind, but these were mere suggestions for our little curds. In my mind, I would be just as happy to call them all Cheddar so long as I was with her. For little naive me, I thought I had reached my happily ever after and soon we were going to become husband and wife.
Or so I thought.
For hours turned into days, days turned into weeks, and I remained faithful at her side. Every time she would open the door to my room I would offer her a smile. And every time I could feel my heart fill with that familiar feeling of wonder and then break away as she would leave with something else or nothing at all. Had she forgotten about me? Had she found someone else? Hell, there was even one time that she had almost picked me...and even began pulling me towards her sweet bosom. But instead, she changed her mind and decided that my roommate Oscar Meyer was a better option. I knew one day she was going to pick me again, but I just wasn't sure when. I started to become bitter with her, and even jealous knowing that she was going out with others and not me. How could she do this to me? How could she do this to us? I had become so upset with her, I figured that the silent treatment was obviously the best choice of action.
As we drifted further apart like some sort of metaphorical raft of troubled emotions, I had let myself go. The amount of anxiety and distress that filled my heart had caused my sharp appearance to become a little hairier. I quickly allowed my clean shaven face to become something else entirely. I had become something that I hated, I had become a monster. Even when I brought myself to the mirror, I hardly recognized the man before me as I had physically changed. My neighbors suggested that I should see a doctor as it had become something far worse than normal depression. With much procrastinating, I knew what I had to do.
I never liked the doctor as they never had any good news. It was always bad. Like the time my cousin Stilton went in and was diagnosed with a form of Trichocomaceae. After he was diagnosed, he quickly turned to drinking as well as hanging out in some rather shady parts of the town. My mother later informed me that he had been injecting himself with Capsicum and he had committed suicide. I didn't want to be like him, I didn't want to be like my cousin. However, without my love, I don't think I could even handle living in this world anymore. Yet despite every nervous feeling that I had within my body, I had finally decided to see the doc. He looked me over with great curiosity as though I was some sort of creature in a zoo. Personally, I didn't like it. Especially when he began to poke at a rather squishy bit on my back. It felt as though it was like he was pressing into every organ inside of me. I am pretty sure I even passed wind accidentally as he examined myself. Embarrassment fell over me as I could only imagine if that would have happened as with my beloved. She might have laughed as it was something adorable with that gorgeous smile of hers that made me weak at the knees. She was so perfect.
Finally after a couple long minutes, the doctor gave it to me straight. I had what was known as Penicillium Roqueforti. A common skin condition that many people were diagnosed with. Unfortunately, though it was common, the only cure for it was amputation. Otherwise it would spread, and eventually, it would cover my entire body. He reassured me that he had an opening next week and all I needed to do til then was relax.
But how was I supposed to relax?
In order to fix this ungodly sight to be seen, I was going to have to endure surgery. Although he made it sound routine, all surgeries had a risk. Maybe his knife was going to slip and cut me open. And from there I would be forced to wear a mask to cover my scars, perhaps I would even take up piano and invest in a cloak. For no one would be worthy to see my face at that point, not even my beloved angel.
Returning home, I continued my path of misery as I rested in the overwhelming silence of being alone. I had determined at this point I needed to tell her. I needed to tell her how I felt, especially since before long I could become a surgical mess. A small part of me felt stupid to wait this long to tell her as I knew that there was a chance that she would reject me. Especially now that I had this physical deformity that even a mother couldn't love. But if I explained to her before that this was only temporary, just maybe...
Without any warning, my door had opened causing a pool of light to pour in. There, stood my angel. For the first time in months, we had locked eyes like we used to. Hers were a soft honey brown colour that I could just dive into. Yet, normally when I see her, there was a smile that accompanied those orbs of life. But this time was different. This time, her faced was filled with not only disgust but disappointment. Before I could even say anything, she had already made her decision. I had gone from being something special to yesterday's news as she tossed me aside into what felt like a dark abyss. As I fell, I could feel my heart break. I wanted to scream, I wanted to tell her everything. But she wouldn't have it, she couldn't bear my appearance anymore. And I couldn't blame her really, she hated me.
And that was the last I ever saw of the one that I loved as the rest of my life was forever filled with darkness. At first, I embraced the abyss that surrounded me as it brought my comfort to my tears. I heard later through the grapevine that she had found another. Some guy by the name Oka and they were happy together. Just as happy as we were. And now I am here, filled with anger and bitterness as I know that I will never be able to have the same feelings of eternal bliss ever again. I will be forever here, consumed by my emotions as I continue to rot and become the monster that she always saw me as.