There were only two of them breathing in the bathroom. They were standing near the sinks, facing each other. Ivan carried a disorientating expression. Keith wished he could read Ivan's mind, and it was probably the best time if he had some lycanthropic powers of mind-reading, but all he could see in Ivan now was emptiness.
Ivan reached forward, his hand locking around Keith's wrists, pulling him so they were close to each other again.
As his heart started to race again, Keith breathed through his nose to keep his mouth shut, his tongue went immobile as usual. He shivered, trying to avoid eye contact and failed miserably.
"Keith," Ivan started, "if you know the truth about me, will you still—"
Ivan's unfinished question sparked curiosity in Keith's brain. What was Ivan trying to say to him? Why would he leave his sentence unfinished, and how could Keith respond to this one?
Instead of uttering any words, Keith looked at Ivan, waiting for him to finish his words.
He didn't know how many minutes passed, because time seemed to stop when Ivan pulled him hard to seal their lips together
It was too surreal and dreamlike, but that didn't matter now. Keith closed his eyes as Ivan sucked on his bottom lip hard, devouring him, filling his body and mind with the desire that he had been yearning for so many years. Keith tried to catch up with the flow by attempting to copy Ivan's actions. Ivan's lips massaged Keith's well, pressing and squeezing him with gentleness, returning the dampness of his mouth to Keith. Keith wanted to manhandle the situation so hard, but he ended up letting the other guy did what he was good at doing.
This was Keith Carter's first kiss. The boy he liked was kissing him.
Everything was too much for Keith to decipher in his head; the feel of Ivan's lips on his, the relevance of what they were doing now ... all he could think of was right here, in the present time, the boy he wanted to be with so much was holding him, and Keith had his face on him.
Keith felt Ivan's teeth, the roughness of the other boy's tongue slid into the opening of his mouth. Time seemed to stop, and Ivan's hands were now bewildering on Keith's body, sliding down under his clothes—Keith was too overwhelmed with emotions he might shed tears in no time.
Keith felt a little peck of Ivan's teeth on his lower lip, and shivered more. He went down to kiss the soft skin on Keith's neck ...
Everything was too much, too shocking that Keith started to push Ivan off him.
He panted, fire burning in his cheeks. The spot on Keith's neck where Ivan's lips had touched felt cool with wetness.
"Keith ... let me explain—" Ivan started.
"It's okay," Keith blocked him off immediately, trying to catch his breath.
Ivan approached Keith with slow steps, moving forward to grab Keith's waist with his long, slender hands. Keith didn't want to look at him knowing there were clear shades of pink splashing all over his pale face right now.
"What do you mean that it's okay?"
Keith's eyes widened to hear Ivan saying that, and the moment he looked into Ivan's eyes again, his stomach fluttered. This is the moment, he thought, suddenly reminiscing the moments where he would imagine a fairy-tale ending about him and Ivan in his bed alone. This is happening. Magic is real.
"I—I like you."
There, he had said it, and in the next moment, Keith was filled with relief and bliss, like a burden that had been buried deep inside of him was finally gone.
Ivan lifted Keith's chin up with two of his fingers, careful to be very gentle when touching the boy in front of him.
"Really?" he spoke. "You ... you like me too?"
Keith let out a chuckle. "I think I'm the one who's supposed to ask you that."
Ivan laughed. "I can't believe it! I've always wanted you ever since I set my eyes on you."
Keith couldn't believe his ears. If this was a dream, he didn't ever want to wake up from it. This was what heaven should feel like.
"I knew it," Ivan spoke again. "I ... I had this strange confidence earlier ... like I kind of knew this is the right time to tell you."
He reached to wrap around Keith's waist, pulling him closer until he had Keith's face on his chest. His heart turned into a garden of blooming flowers under blazing rays of the sun.
"Tell me what?" Keith asked.
Ivan smiled. "That you're love at a first sight."
Then it was Keith's turn to flash a smile. What Ivan said to him was cheesy, but no one had ever said such things to him before. Since he had heard it for the first time from the boy he'd always wanted, he knew only to want more.
"Ivan," Keith whispered out the name, his breathing got uneven once more, realizing that they would be apart soon. The thought made tears flood in his eyelids.
"If you can't stay," Ivan interrupted him, "will you at least keep in touch with me? I don't ever want to stop talking to you, especially after what we've ..."
Ivan didn't finish his words, and the two of them broke out in laughter. Keith looked into Ivan's smile and wondered what he saw in him. Keith knew he looked nothing out of the ordinary to the humans. He was small, and he knew he wasn't one of the stereotypically-masculine type. He knew he was cute, but cute wasn't what a guy wanted, wasn't it? Sadly, he knew many gay men would always search for the typical macho in other men, the stealthy rough kind of manner, and he could see the trait in Ivan. However, Keith knew Ivan wouldn't be able to find any in him.
"Um, can I visit you in DC this summer," Ivan asked.
"Sure," Keith replied, almost too immediately. "That would be amazing."
Ivan kissed Keith one more time, and Keith let time slip by with no rush.
Keith wondered what were they now . . . a couple? What was Ivan to him now . . . his date?
His boyfriend?
They took slow steps towards the bathroom exit, their hands tangling up onto each other. Once they were out in the hallway, they parted ways.
People were exiting the school; the building was starting to get empty. Keith walked to the main exit of the school building, suddenly feeling a sense of emptiness inside. He didn't want to leave . . . not just yet . . .
He'd walked almost ten feet away past the chemistry lab when he noticed half of Ivan's body popping out from behind the wall of the room. He was standing at the front door, looking as if he was making sure that the room was empty.
Keith's eyes met Ivan's and noticed him moving his head slightly into the room, signaling an invite.
Feeling his hormones skyrocketing inside of him, Keith rushed towards the lab, his heart racing, his body ready, even if this meant that he was going to lose his virginity inside a school laboratory.
**********
Wren's car honked loudly outside the house that Keith would leave soon. He glanced at his wristwatch and found himself smiling alone. He and Tessa were supposed to be at LAX in about half an hour from now. Wren was already waiting in front of the house, waiting to send the two of them off.
Keith couldn't stop lingering to the thought of Ivan's lips on his.
He didn't give up his virginity on his last day of school, though. After Ivan and Keith had sneaked into the chemistry lab, they found the chemical storeroom unlocked and empty. Ivan had pulled Keith abruptly, eager to start a fierce making-out session.
Ivan's hand had gone wild on Keith's body, pinching and squeezing as he slid his hand underneath Keith's T-shirt. Keith had not stopped him, because he did enjoy doing it in some ways, although at some point whatever Ivan did to him was quite painful.
But Ivan hadn't approached the second base, looking into Keith's eyes as if he knew Keith wasn't ready for it yet.
"Thank you," he had suddenly said, his words disrupted by his heavy breathing.
"For what?" Keith asked.
"For letting me kiss you."
Keith had only smiled without adding anything further. He had been so happy on the inside and secretly wished his happiness had been visible so Ivan could see it.
"I will come and see you this summer, Keith. I've promised myself to do that."
"Glad to hear that."
The meeting had ended by Keith taking a picture of the two of them with his phone. They were standing near a sculpture of atoms, Ivan hugging the shiny spherical model, goofing around like his usual self. When the two of them walked out of the lab, they could only hear their breaths and footsteps echoing in the school hallway.
Keith set his phone home screen wallpaper with the picture of him and Ivan together. He grinned, and his cheeks warmed up every time he stared at his phone now.
Tessa emerged out of the house carrying Keith's gigantic luggage. Keith knew he was supposed to be doing that, but he'd been so lost with the thought of Ivan Fickler to remember that he was still leaving Los Angeles.
Keith ran to her aunt, reaching out to grab the luggage. "It's okay, let me do it."
"No, no ... it's fine ..."
"Please ... you should get in the car."
Tessa didn't argue further and proceeded to walk to the car. LA was humid, and Keith could see his aunt sweating from the heat, struggling with it as she cooled herself with a flowery pink handheld fan.
As Keith entered the back side of the car, he gave his last farewell glance to the house. There was a song playing on the radio, and everything seemed so sweet and bright and colorful to Keith today.
The car moved forward, slowly exiting the neighborhood that Keith had resided on for two years, and these two years probably had the best moments of his life, because he had never felt so human anywhere else. Since he was thirteen, it was hard for him to feel normal again—it wasn't easy to accept that there was literally a part of animal inside of you that could turn into malice anytime and anywhere.
Keith knew that the thought was supposed to spark sadness inside his chest, but strangely enough he was only feeling bliss, because Ivan Fickler had promised to pay him a visit soon this summer.