Derek kept calling my name out as I ran through the woods; a desperate need to get as far away as possible burning in my stomach. I was having a hard time finding air for my lungs, though, and because of that, I ended up tripping over a tree root went tumbling a few feet through the dirt and leaves.
I let out a sound that was a mix between a shriek and a grunt as I rolled to a stop. I scrambled backwards until my back collided with a tree trunk, closing my eyes while my head fell back against the tree. Tears were rolling rapidly down my face as I felt my chest constrict.
"Sarah?!" Derek called. I let out a small sob, covering my face with my hands. I remained still and his footsteps slow to a walk as he came closer. "Sarah?" he asked again, his voice a soft murmur now.
I shook my head and kept my hands covering my face. My entire body was starting to shake. The more I replayed what he told me in my bedroom, the worse I felt about the fact that I couldn't stop it either. I couldn't stop thinking about him or even about her—how she'd feel about me thinking about her ex-boyfriend in a way other than how much I hate him.
I gasped for breath, a shuddering sob leaving my lips.
The sun began to sit low behind the trees, the two of sitting there silently while I cried like a fucking baby.
"Is this about her?" Derek asked me softly.
I cried out a sentence, including the one word that I haven't spoken in a while, and I wanted to cry harder.
"It will always be about Paige, Derek!"
I pushed myself up to my feet and shoved him back, a hurt expression on his face.
"She was my best friend. My rock through everything, but now she's dead! She was with you. You...You were supposed to protect her but you didn't!" I cried, looking up him with my blurry vision.
I didn't care how horrific I looked as I sobbed. My cheeks burned, my nose burned. My eyes were probably bloodshot and red-rimmed. My heart was racing so fast in my chest that there was no way he could ignore it, even over my screams. None that mattered to me because I was finally letting out everything I felt about that night.
And I almost couldn't stop myself.
Derek reached out to touch me, but I tensed my body as his hand landed on mine. I yanked my hand out and a shoved him away again. "Don't touch me," I hissed.
"We weren't together that night, Sarah," he said.
I narrowed my eyes at him and took a threatening step back toward him as I pointed an accusing finger at her. "Don't you dare try lying to me! You left her a note to meet you at the school that night!" I yelled at him. "I saw it myself and I warned her against it, against sneaking out. But she was so in love with you that she didn't care," I hissed in a low voice.
His head dropped in sadness and I could feel his heart break as if it was in my own chest.
"And I drove her there. I drove her to her death." Which made me just as complicit in her death.
"I told her to meet me in the boys' locker room, Sarah. That's where I was." He wasn't raising his voice at me. He wasn't angry or screaming. He was just explaining it to me.
I wished he would yell and fight with me. It would make things so much easier for me.
"She was still on the level above when she was attacked by a werewolf. I heard her heart beating in fear and I ran up to find her, but I was too late," he explained.
My crying slowed a little bit as I listened to Derek's shockingly calm voice, but, this new information weighed down on me heavily.
"Why...Why didn't she turn like I did?" I whimpered.
Now that was a million dollar question.
Derek stepped closer to me and I let him pull me into a comforting hug. I rested limply in his embrace for a second before my petite arms slowly wrapped around his waist and clamped together behind his back.
"We never know who the bite will turn. And we don't know why it kills anyone. I have no idea why she didn't turn. I kept waiting for her to, but she kept crying that it hurt and that she knew she was going to die. She wanted me to do end her pain," he continued, his voice breaking slightly at the end.
"Did you?" I whispered. He let out a sigh as if he didn't know if he should tell me. "Please? I need to know," I said softly, pulling my head back to look at him.
"I did," he whispered. I squeezed my eyes shut and my grasp around him instinctually tightened with my sadness. "She asked me to. Taking her life is what changed my eyes to blue," he said. "My uncle found us after she had died and he took her to the woods to make it look like some animal had killed her," he added.
I looked down at my hands, which were still curled around the fabric of his grey t-shirt. "I'm sorry," I gasped out quietly.
"For what?" he asked me, pushing some hair from my face.
I looked back up at him as more tears filled my vision. "All this time, I blamed you for her death. All this time, I thought you had been with her when she was attacked and I made you feel like shit about it. I'm so sorry, Derek," I told him sadly.
He shook his head as he said, "It's okay. You were angry and grieving," he told me.
"That's no excuse. You were grieving, too," I muttered.
"She, uh...She gave me a message to pass to you. I never got to tell you because you kept ignoring me or getting angry when I tried," he told me.
I looked up at him sharply. "What did she say?"
He nodded. "She said to tell you that she loves you. She also said to tell you to look into the box, even if you didn't want to. That part I didn't understand," he explained.
"I do," I whispered, the heartbreaking memory coming up to the surface. "After her funeral, her mom handed me a shoe box that had my name on it. I never did open it. Paige knew that I wouldn't want to see what was inside it. She knew it'd be painful for me," I explained to him.
"Well, I think you should open it," he said. "She really wanted to me to tell you to open it."
I sighed. "I don't know if I can," I whispered.
"Well, when you decide to open it and you don't want to do it alone, you can always call me," he said gently. I looked up at him to see him wearing a soft smile and my insides melted to putty.
It made me feel even worse for feeling this way about him.
"Can I ask you a question?" Derek asked me.
"Sure," I said.
"When did you get bit?" he asked me.
My face fell again and I started to feel even more like shit. "The same night," I said inaudibly.
"What?" Derek asked.
I nodded. "As soon as Paige disappeared inside the school, I was leaning against my car, texting my Dad to let him know where I was. Then, something large attacked me. I woke up in the hospital and my dad told me that Paige and I had been attacked and she was dead," I explained.
"Large?" he asked, like he was recalling a memory.
I nodded slowly with confusion. "Yeah, large and tall. Very mean. I know now it was a werewolf, but at the time, I just saw a scary looking man with red eyes," I said.
Derek let out a growl and looked away from me, but my grip around him tightened again subconsciously when I thought he was going to let me go.
"What is it?"
"The same Alpha attacked Paige. I didn't see his face and I didn't know who it was, but the same alpha that attacked you was the one that attacked Paige," Derek said.
Even though it hurt to hear it out loud, a part of me felt like it made sense.
His hands was rested on my cheek, as the pad of his thumb started to stroke my skin. It sent a shiver down my spine and I closed my eyes with a sigh. "I'm sorry, Sarah. I'm sorry for letting you spend the better of seven years not knowing the truth of Paige's death," Derek told me.
"It's not your fault. Remember? I was a cold-hearted bitch to you after she died," I said softly.
"Well, not cold-hearted," he said. I let out a soft giggle, which seemed to have been his goal. "Come on, let's get you home."
I nodded and the two of us walked back toward my house in the dark of the woods, our arms still around each other like we didn't want to let the other go.
By the time we walked up the back of the house, Stiles' Jeep was gone, Stiles gone right along with it. Because Stiles was gone, Derek walked with me back inside and up to my room.
I sat down on my bed when I heard Derek say my name. I looked over at him to see a piece of paper in his hand. "This was on the floor," he said, handing it to me.
"Thanks," I said, opening the folded paper to find my brother's handwriting inside.
Sarah,
I had to go pick up Dad from the parent-teacher conference. Apparently, there was an actual mountain lion running through the parking lot and people were running to their cars. He was trying to help and got bumped by a car that was packing out of his space. He's okay, just bruised pretty bad. We'll be home soon.
"Everything okay?" Derek asked me.
I shook my head, running a hand through my hair. "I don't know. Stiles said that there was a mountain lion at the school and our dad was hit by a car that was backing up," I said to him, looking for my phone. I found it behind me on my bed and dialed my brother's contact.
"I'm okay, Sarah," was the first thing my father said when he answered my brother's phone.
"Are you sure, Dad?" I asked him worriedly.
"I'm sure, honey. The car was in reverse and it just bumped me. I'll be okay. Your brother and I are on our way home now," he said.
"I'm sorry I didn't come with Stiles. I must've fell asleep after I took a shower," I apologized to my dad, feeling Derek's stare on my face.
I just couldn't look at him.
"It's okay, sweetie, I understand. I'll see you in a few minutes, okay?"
"Okay, Daddy. I love you," I said.
"I love you, too, Sarah," he said before he hung up the phone.
I let out a sigh and set my phone on my bedside table on the charger. "Is he okay?" Derek asked.
"He says he is," I told him.
Derek nodded and stood on his feet again. "I should go before he comes home," he said.
My face fell slightly, but I understood, so, I nodded. "Yeah. Okay," I whispered.
He turned away and headed for my window to leave. It seemed to be a pattern, using my window to flee rather than the front door. I felt like I was a teenager sneaking a lover in and out of my room through my window.
"Derek?" I said softly as he stuck a leg out.
"Yes?" he asked. He turned his gaze to me as he sat on the sill, one foot dangling and the other still in my room.
"Thank you."
"For what?" he questioned, cocking his head to one side.
"Just...thank you." I wasn't sure what else to say, how to thank him for our talk in the woods.
He smiled at me and my heart skipped a beat in my chest.
Stupid heart. Stop it.
"You're welcome. Just say my name if you ever need me. Wherever you are, no matter what I'm doing, I'll be there," he said.
"I will. Thank you."
With another nod, he jumped from my window. I walked over and leaned out of it to watch him run into the woods on all fours—the most efficient way to run as fast as we can.
"By the way, I haven't really been able to stop thinking about you either," I whispered into the wind as he disappeared into the trees.
Somehow, I just knew that he had heard me.
⊰⊱
i'm happy.
i got to watch an episode of teen wolf to edit this chapter.
i love derek hale.
anyway, didn't i promise a little bit of angst? did i portray derek well in this chapter? i hope so.
also, so i haven't done this in a few chapters so here. qotd: what was the most painful moment of teen wolf? it doesn't have to be a death, just something that hit you hard in the feels.
i think mine would have to be Derek leaving because he's the loml.
Please vote and/or comment and share with your fellow Derek Hale/Teen Wolf fans.
I hope you've enjoyed the chapter and until next time, I bid you adieu.
signed,
hellocreation