Unruly and wild with fear, I scrambled from the once was safe confines of my bed to my dresser, clawing for clean clothes. What are the odds, hm? What are the chances that one attends a seminar over the incubi and then that very next night actually stumbles into an incubus? And not only did I stumble, but I crashed and tumbled head first into his clutches.
What.
Are.
The.
Odds?
And not only what are the odds but why me? What did I do to deserve this? I work hard for a living and I put up with my roommate's terrible matchmaking and intrepid habits. It's like the world is saying, "Fuck all of that, Jessica, you still deserve the worst in life" and it's just not fair.
I shuddered, remembering how his hands felt, how his silky and dark voice took me to places I never thought I could venture into. Nothing will ever compare I'm so damn ruined I don't even want to think about it. Panicked, I grabbed my car keys and ran from my condo and out to my car.
After knocking savagely and inconsiderately, Collin finally opened his door, his jaw hard with anger and his eyes droopy with sleep deprivation. So I woke the poor educator up, oh the fuck well I am in a crisis.
"What took you so long?" I hissed, pushing past him and into his skyline condo that has a very beautiful view of the stars.
"Jessica, what are you doing here?" Collin asked, closing the door behind me.
"Where is Helen?"
"She went to her mother's for the night. Why? Is this why you came, because Helen was late?" he asked, appalled.
I rolled my eyes hard, clenching my keys in my hand. "I don't care what you and Helen do, okay? You're both consenting adults. I just want to ask you a couple of questions about your seminar."
"And that couldn't wait until a more reasonable hour?" His eyes eyed the clock that read three thirty-four in the morning. I took in his lack of clothing and his messy dark hair.
"No, it could not."
"I know I said I wanted to get back to the glory of our relationship but surely it can wait for a more—"
"Collin, please!" I snapped, holding out my hand I don't want to hear him ramble anymore. I'm about to lose my mind. My dreams aren't safe. I am not safe. He shut his mouth.
"What can I answer for you?" he whispered, resigned.
My shoulders tightened. "You said that demons come to people because of sexual frustration. So if someone stops being sexually frustrated will they stop coming?"
Cocking his head to the side, Collin answered, "Not essentially, Jessica. Once the incubus has given the victim a taste of what could be, the victim usually ends up constantly yearning for the demon for the rest of its life and the demon just keeps on coming. Imagine, you experience something blissful and incredible, how can you not keep wanting it?"
Oh, I can freaking imagine it very vividly, thanks. Closing my eyes, I whispered, "So the ways to get rid of the demon, which one is most effective in your opinion?"
"Well, for kicks probably a combination of things. One would need isolation but then a sacramental confession followed by an exorcism."
"Would the first two do it?"
"Well the exorcism is what scares the demon the most, sometimes from what I've researched. Jessica, why all the—"
"Back up, you said the victim could yearn for the demon for the rest of their lives. Didn't you say in the seminar that visits from the incubi result in deterioration of health, pregnancy, and even death?" I squeaked.
"Well yes, Jessica. Demons feed off of sexual energy and therefore energy of humans itself. Demons cannot create their own energy henceforth why they rob it from supposedly willing victims. That would take a toll on you; it would be like getting bit by a vampire every day. You can't produce that many red blood cells and blood in general to supply a vampire every single day. Same way how you cannot produce enough life force to sustain a demon every single visit. Eventually you'll just...burn out."
I choked. "How long does it take to burn out?"
"Depends on the frequency of the visits. Everyday...I'd say a month. Once a month is sustainable but if one is a huge hit then I doubt the demon could stay away that long."
"Oh dear God," I groaned. I'm pretty sure I was a major hit. Thinking about how I feel right now I'm actually kind of shaky. "I need to sit down." Stumbling, I sank down onto the arm of his leather couch. Ew, he probably had sex with so many girls on this couch.
"Are you okay?" he asked, his face filled with concern as he walked over to me. I held my hand out again to stop him.
"So basically once the incubus visits once, he's going to keep coming?"
"Well in a way, yeah. Once the demon has you sexually aroused or subdues you through violence depending on the victim, you let your conscious guards and defenses down essentially and then they kind of implant into your subconscious mind where it will go unnoticed for a long time, while actively causing major damage. Consider a parasite such as a tapeworm, latched into your intestines. That's what the demon does after the first visit, the channel is open and then stamped with his mark so that you are his again. You know when you're, er, doing it you give yourself completely to your partner, right?" He blushed, scratching his head. "Once he's planted his 'seed' he has the victim since the victim let him in."
I sighed savagely, clenching my hand tighter around my keys. "And the fatigue?"
"Same as when you are fatigued by regular intercourse it follows the victim in real form—spiritually, emotionally, physically. Although skilled sexually, they make one feel miserable in every other way because they lack humanities and they can't fathom how you should feel. They cannot empathize. The pleasure they give their victims is so high that victims become addicted and isolate themselves wishing for their next visit and it induces guilt because humans aren't equipped to experience such pleasures and experiences, which in turn lowers the victims' resistance even more."
"So you're basically telling me that once you're visited by the demon you're fucked." I'm pale and I can't feel my hands.
Collin bit down on his lip and then said, "Unless you do the three things I mentioned earlier. Sacramental confession—"
"Isolation and exorcism, yeah I heard you. What is one to do if they can't or won't do those things?"
"It's about the victim's willingness to let the demon have access to their body. That's basically it. They were sexually deprived and the demon gave them what they wanted and then it's all the victim wants."
Oh my God. "Okay, so what if the victim finds someone in real life to be with? Does that negate the demon because now the victim doesn't desire the demon anymore?"
"That's tricky and could backfire. The more the victim yearns for sex after the first time, it continues access for the demon to come in her dreams. I told you, the mark is made after the first time."
"This sounds like the victim is just royally screwed, Collin," I screeched.
Collin frowned. "They have to do the three things."
"What if they aren't Catholic?" I spat, because I'm not.
"The more the victim understands their enemy...the better equipped they are of ridding themselves from it. One would have to acknowledge a demon is visiting them and then do that weird rebuking shit you see in movies."
I frowned. How stupid. "The children thing...how does that work?"
"Cambion are extremely rare. I would say that the incubi's numbers are low or they would take over. The victim would have to be like 'the one' if you know what I mean." I shook my head; no I don't know what he means. "Natural selection, you know, Charles Darwin and shit. The victim has to be the best fit to carry their offspring. Incubi aren't able to reproduce with just anyone or they'd be rampant by now. It's selective."
Thank God. There is nothing special about me so I can rest assured. "Interesting."
"Why are you interested all of a sudden and at this early in the morning?"
Damn, I didn't even think of an excuse. "Uh, James likes talking about this stuff and we went out the other day and I realized I needed to brush up on my knowledge because I'm going to see him again tomorrow...well, er, today." I smiled sheepishly, hoping he believes my lie and Collin narrowed his eyes at me so hard I almost shrank back into the couch.
"Well it's too late for you to go home so just sleep here, I have an extra bedroom." Collin headed down the hall.
"I knew you fucked on this couch!" I yelled after him.
His laughter trailed all the way down the hall.
I woke up extremely cold and even more tired and delirious than when I stumbled to Collin's front door. Groggy, I teetered to the adjoining bathroom, showering and then taking care of the essentials, yet leaving my hair wet and just tying it up into a slinky bun. I don't have product or a dryer, sue me.
I grabbed my phone and put my clothes back on, heading for the kitchen to tell Collin goodbye. Before I could open my mouth I looked up to find a girl standing near the front door, face red as Collin calmly ran a hand through his hair.
"...I am no longer interested I told you what this was," Collin explained. Oh God.
"But we're so great together I don't understand," the girl whined.
"Alisha, listen—"
"It's Melissa!" she growled.
I laughed behind my hand.
"Yeah, that's what I said. I don't have time for a relationship. I'm a very busy professor and my private studies keep me even busier. Maybe catch me in a year or something."
"Collin, don't do this," she begged, her voice filled with depravity. Damn, Collin must be really good in bed to have to deal with this shit.
Amused, I stole two of his green tea packets, slipping them into my bra.
"It's already done. Bye, Alisha."
"MELISSA! It's freaking Melissa!"
"I said that. Bye, dear." He closed the door in her face and then turned to frown at me. "Morning and put my tea packets back."
"Damn, how'd you know?"
"You used to always steal them when I'd come home from college."
"You have good taste in tea, what's the issue with that?" I asked as he grabbed a mug from the cabinet.
"The issue is that it's my tea, so return it."
"I don't even have it."
"Jessica, you're not a cute little girl I'd love to chase around and snatch the packets from because they are in your bra and I want to cop a feel. I know I'm a fuckboy but I am a mature fuckboy and I have levels I won't stoop to. I'll punch you in the crotch till you're purple. Put them back."
I groaned. "Can I just have one, please?"
Collin sighed. "One, Jessica, I mean it."
Pleased, I snatched the one from my left bra out and threw it back onto the counter.
Collin's lips pulled up into an amused yet grossed out smile. "Actually, just keep both of them."
"Yes," I whispered, picking up the tea packet again.
He shook his head at me, laughing. "I really have missed you, Jessica."
My eyes softened and I admitted, "I missed you too. Thanks for talking to me last night."
"You're welcome, I guess. Let's try not to come rushing over at early hours in the morning again unless its life or death, okay?"
"Alright. I have to go to work, so I'm going to run home to change. Love you." I headed for the door and Collin grabbed my wrist, yanking me back to him. "Wha—"
"Are you alright, Jessica?" he asked, eyebrows furrowed. I pressed my lips together into a thin line. "You can talk to me about anything, I'll listen and I'll do whatever I can to help."
He probably doesn't really believe in demons. I can't tell him. "If there are demons, are their angels?"
"Oh, angels are a whole other seminar within another seminar, Jessica."
I laughed. "Of course. But, I'm fine, don't worry about me."
"Don't lie to me."
I gave a reassuring smile. "I'm just overwhelmed but I'm fine nothing is wrong I assure you."
Collin stared at me, peering deep into my soul and said the oddest thing, "Demons don't come because you're weak, Jessica. Sometimes demons become because they know you're strong."
Stunned, I sputtered out, "I-I, w-what?"
"You think I don't know? You think I'm stupid?" he hissed, clenching onto my wrist. I shuddered.
"Collin, don't—"
"Don't try to do this alone, let me help."
"I don't think he'll come back." I think all he wanted to do was ruin me.
"Do you want him to come back?"
What? "No."
Collin sighed, releasing me. "Demons aren't to be played with, Jessica, you can't just let the chips fall where they may. This is your life. You look drained already and it's only been one time."
"Why are you so calm about this?"
"You think I spent years researching this and never encountered an actual demon?" He laughed sardonically, stirring his just made tea. "I met a succubus before at a nightclub in my earlier years when I was new to the research. She said she had been watching me and would love to aid me in my intellectual developments on her kind. She said no one understood her people and she wanted to help me understand."
I gasped. "Did she?"
"Oh yes, she did. She seduced me a lot, it was our arrangement. She said I was a huge hit like the most expensive and cherished wine to an alcoholic. I was tired all of the time but she'd write down facts and other different things about her kind and I'd just sleep hoping to regain energy for class alone and she'd seduce me again and again. Not going to lie, it was...incredible but god I was so relieved when she finally gave me all of the information because she finally let me go. She was there the other night, at the seminar. She told me she was proud of me, that I was doing great things for her kind."
Overwhelmed I started laughing. "This is a joke, right? Like you're just pulling my leg."
"Jessica—"
"Collin, please! You're trying to tell me that you believe me, that you know that a demon has interrupted my dreams and that you've met one yourself!"
"Yes."
"I-no! No, no, no, no, no! Just tell me I'm crazy and that I need rest and water or something. Don't tell me this is real I can't bear it."
"Jessica, it is real, and you have to bear it."
"Are you sympathetic to their kind?"
"They are an extinct kind, Jessica, so yes I am. Now, I'm not a fool to think all of them are incredible and generous but some of them...like Azura for example—the succubus I met—she was a good person. A little harsh for my tastes but she reminds me of Helen and I think that's why I like her so much."
"Did you love her?" I asked, appalled.
"No and she didn't want my love. I think she cared deeply for someone else though."
"Another human?"
"Nope, a demon."
Everything came to a halt when I realized something. "You said she was there the other night, right?"
"Yes..." Collin raised an eyebrow.
Oh my God, the intense feelings of euphoria I was feeling that night, I thought it was just because of James and because I hadn't been touched in a long time. Could it have been her? Could she have acclimatizing my feelings so that a demon would come to me? "Can they heighten feelings without even touching a victim?"
"Well their presence alone is very enticing of course so I figure yes that could happen. But why they would do that without revealing themselves to you is something I'm weary about in regards to your question."
"Did you ever tell her about me?"
"No, but I said I had a sister."
"Do you think she'd know by just looking at me?"
Freezing, Collin turned to stare at me. "What are you getting at, Jessica?"
"I think she did this to me. I think because of her, the demon came to me."
"Why would you accuse her of—"
Irritated I yelled out, "Damn it, Collin, she's not a damn regular person, alright? She's a demon and if they are a dying species then what's to stop them from working together in order to—"
"To what? Repopulate their kind? I told you that reproduction is selective they have some demons that have lived since the beginning of time and never reproduced in their lives. Azura always hoped that she could bear my child but couldn't, Jessica even though the thought scared me immensely. Like being a father to a demon's baby doesn't sound very appealing but she said we could study the offspring, if it were to happen. I started to think maybe it would be good for my research. It never happened though and I think a part of her was extremely disappointed. I doubt that she came the other night to bewitch you and set you up."
I took a deep breath, nodding my head. "You're right. I'm just trying to come up with a logical explanation for this."
"That I can understand. I tried to do the same until I realized what was happening was real. It's real, Jessica."
"God, Collin, I'm scared," I whispered.
Nodding his head, Collin sipped his tea. "Be strong. I'll help you. I do kind of have mostly all of the answers."
I smiled shyly. "Want to know the scariest part?"
"Sure."
"The scariest part is that I really did like it, Collin," I admitted. His eyes grew wide over his teacup. "And although it ruined me, I'd let him do it all over again because I'd rather be nothing with him than something with someone else."
"Jesus Christ, Jessica," he hissed.
My shoulders shrank in and my eyes grew tight, then I was sobbing. Collin held me in his arms, casting his teacup aside until my tears finished, murmuring that I'd be alright that he was here.
"I'll try and get ahold of Azura, maybe get some answers. Did you get his name?" he asked. I shook my head no. "You'll be alright, Jessica."
No. I won't be. I'll never be the same.
Eventually I stopped crying all together and I went home to change and then walked in for work. I'm in a terrible mood and I hoped to God my employees had everything done and under control or I don't know what I might do. I was greeted with nervous and shy smiles that I didn't return because I'm not in the mood.
Work went by quickly and robotically. Everything was as it should be and by five thirty I was done, wrapping up a couple of emails.
"Jessica? You have a James here to see you," Lila my receptionist trilled.
"Um, tell him I'll be right there." The last thing I need is more male troubles. He probably wants to tell me he never wants to see me again after he kissed me then drove off like his ass was on fire. Frowning, I finished up my last email and then locked up my office, heading to the main lobby.
"Jessica, wow, you look lovely," James appraised, reaching out to take one of my hands, lifting it to his lips.
I raised my eyebrows. I'm dressed in light blue overalls with a huge pocket on the front to hold my tools and gloves with a bright yellow undershirt and work boots. Today was a trial and error day with a couple of systematic motherboard panels. My hair is still a little damp, tied up on my head.
"Sure. What are you doing here, James?" I asked, getting to the point. I'm actually really tired and would like to go home where hopefully I can sleep and a demon won't get me.
"I wanted to apologize for yesterday's abrupt departure." He smiled coquettishly, yet I find nothing funny or sexy about this moment.
"Oh?"
"Don't be displaced with me."
I snatched my hand away. "Don't tell me how to be," I snapped. James' mouth fell open in surprise and irritated, I started heading for the door. "I gotta go; I'll see you another time." I pushed the heavy door open and walked out into the cool air for the parking lot.
Following me, James said, "I didn't mean to lead you on."
"You came all this way to tell me you're not interested? It was better when you just left and didn't contact me. Now you're just being cocky. I wasn't that desperate for closure, James." I just wish every male would just fuck off.
"Jessica, stop!" He grabbed my elbow, spinning me around to face him. Loose wisps of my hair clung fast to my cheeks and James brushed them aside. I shivered. "That's not what I came to say. I am trying to say I'm sorry for leading you on and then just leaving you there. Your...desire, took me completely by surprise. I've never felt such wanton need from anyone in my entire life and you beguiled me. I had to walk away or I don't know what I would have done..."
"Taken me in the parking lot?" I purred, blinking up at him, the heat from his hand clutching my arm setting me on fire everywhere.
James' breath stuttered and he breathed out, "Yes, something like that."
"I wouldn't have minded."
"That was why I couldn't do it. I couldn't just give you what you wanted."
"Why not?" I frowned.
"Because there is no fun in that."
Jesus Christ. I closed my eyes and the cool air wafted all around me making me shudder. "Fair enough," I responded huskily after I finally dared to open my eyes again.
James stood stunned by the look in my eyes and his molded and darkened into something that made me want to get on my knees for him. Please.
He cleared his throat and the moment shattered. "Well, expect a call from me in the near future, I'd love to go out again."
"Sure, James." I smiled tentatively.
"I do like this look," he mused as he stroked the straps of my overalls. "I'll let you know if my computer's motherboard needs rewiring." He started to walk away and I bit back a smile.
"You'll have to pay me!" I yelled after him.
"Trust me; I have several different payment methods. You're covered." With a parting wink, he turned and disappeared for his car.
Arriving home, I found Helen sitting on the couch with her laptop on her lap, gorgeous black framed glasses on her face. "Jessica, there you are. I called your brother, inquiring about you, and he said you stayed at his place then went to work. Were you anxious because I left you alone in this big ole condo? I mean I go to my mom's all the time and you're usually fine. Are you okay?" she asked, cocking her head to the side as she slipped her glasses off of her face.
My eyes watered. Helen actually cares and she's actually not irritating for once. "I'm fine, don't worry. I just had a bad first date with James and I needed someone so I went to Collin's but he accosted me at work and things are better."
"If you're sure." She raised one eyebrow at me.
"I'm sure."
"Well, my first date with Collin was great in case you were wondering. I'm sure he told you all about it."
My lip twitched. "He didn't because we don't usually talk about our love lives but tell me how it went." Except we kind of did this morning. He told me about Azura and me my demon.
I listened to Helen explain how they talked about everything except demons which was refreshing in her opinion. She said he was really sweet and very patient and couldn't understand why he puts on this air that he's a real lady killer. I told her it's because he always lacked a mother figure, I was really the only lady in his life. The side he shows her is the side that always cared and cares for me.
That seemed to make Helen like him more for she started gushing and Helen never gushes about any man, ever. Eventually she talked herself silly and then went back to whatever task she was doing on her computer.
Exhausted, I headed for my bedroom, slipping out of my clothes and putting on a white and sleek camisole with no bra, leaving on my panties. Closing my eyes I prayed and prayed the demon wouldn't come. Please leave me be. Please leave me be. I need my sanity. Eventually I fell into a deep and deadened sleep.
I'm not going to open my eyes, I refuse. I can feel the back of a chair and another presence in the room. Why? Why? Why? Why? I couldn't just have one night? I'm not even aroused. I don't even want him right now. I just wanted to sleep.
"Just because you don't open your eyes, Jessica, doesn't mean this isn't real," the demon teased, repeating words that he said to me before.
My heart slammed against my rib cage and I snapped my eyes open, meeting red ones in return from across a candle lit dinner table.