Mary groans when she hears the sounds of pans clinking in the kitchen. It's been a few days since Alec stood her up on their anniversary and she still isn't too happy with him. Apparently, she forgot to lock the door again and he's taken it upon himself to come home for breakfast.
He probably has plans to leave as soon as he's done, but what he doesn't realize is that Mary isn't a heavy sleeper anymore and she hasn't been since she first learned that he was cheating on her.
Thankfully, Ember is and she's happy that he hasn't taken it upon herself to wake her up. She doesn't think her poor little girl can handle much more disappointment from her father. It's hard enough on Mary as it is and she can't imagine how hard it is for her sweet little Ember.
She doesn't bother brushing her hair or her teeth just yet because she needs to talk to him and this might be her only chance. He's bustling around and looking for things that he can't find, because he's not home enough to know where they are, when Mary walks into the kitchen and clears her throat to catch his attention.
Alec nearly drops the pan in his hand.
His eyes are wide and his breathing is a little erratic because she's scared the hell out of him.
Mary crosses her arms under her chest and releases a deep breath, "What are you doing here?"
He nearly rolls his eyes and the hope in Mary's eyes fades quickly, "I live here. But I think you may have forgotten because you locked me out for two days straight. What the hell, Mary?"
Mary's eyes widen in shock. She doesn't believe he has the audacity to ask her why she locked him out because the reasoning was pretty obvious. Her wide eyes nearly turn to slits as she glares at him.
"What the hell? You want to know 'what the hell?' I locked you out because you stood me up again! On our anniversary, Alec! For fucks sake, it was the second time! All I wanted was a nice night with you and you didn't even have the decency to cancel. Instead I sat there and waited for you for hours like an idiot. Yeah, I locked you out and I was going to do it again but I forgot because I was too busy raising the daughter that you pretend you don't have!"
He doesn't know what to say. Mary hasn't yelled at him like this for months and he has no idea how to defend himself because he knows that he's the one that's wrong.
She isn't done though and she shakes her head as a sad laugh falls from her lips, "I don't even know how she still calls you her father because you aren't ever here for her. You're too busy sleeping with Elena to pay any attention to anyone else and it makes me sick, Alec. The man I married would never do this to his family, but you aren't the man I married anymore and I don't know how to get him back."
Now he thinks that he has some leverage because she mentioned his affair and not hers.
"I'm not the only one who's changed, Mary! I saw the car in the driveway! I'm not the one sleeping around with our daughter's teacher!"
Mary's appalled that he would say that because he knows that's not how she is and she's already told him multiple times that she's not sleeping around with Ember's teacher.
"Don't do that. You don't have a right to do that! He was only here because he picked me up from the restaurant you stood me up at! I asked him to stay because I'm tired of sleeping alone, Alec! I hate it! I already told you, he's my friend and we haven't done anything! Are you really stupid enough to not know who I am? I would never do that to anyone! Even you. Stop accusing me of the things that you do because I'm not you!"
Her heart is beating at a million miles an hour and she's crying despite how many times she told herself that she wouldn't cry. "You know what, just get out. Take your things and get the hell out, Alec. While you're at it, tell Elena I said he's all yours!"
Something that she's just said registers with him and she sees the hurt flash in his eyes. On some level, he finally understands what he's doing to her and their daughter and it's not a nice feeling at all.
"Mary..."
She backs up a little because she doesn't want him to touch her. She's tired and hurt and she just really wants him to leave her alone.
Mary shakes her head, "Don't. I meant what I said. You don't love me anymore and I can't stay with you if you won't even try for me."
Alec doesn't listen and she's nearly walked into the wall. He wraps his arms around her and holds her close. Mary tries pushing him away, but he's stronger than her and it's no use.
"Let me go! I don't want you anymore! I hate you!" A broken sob passes her lips as he smooths her hair, "I hate you."
But she doesn't hate him and they both know it. And that's what makes it hurt so much more. Alec's repeating 'I'm sorry' and 'I love you' but those words don't mean anything coming from him because he's said them so much and contradicted them so much that they became meaningless.
He doesn't give her much of a choice so she ends up clinging to his shirt, her tears soaking the fabric in moments, "Please stop saying that. You never mean what you say anymore."
Alec is silent and that tells her more than he thinks that it does. She cries for a while before he finally lets her go. Mary won't look at him and he knows that he's lost her more than he thought he had.
"I need you to be home more often to help me with Ember and to be my husband. If you can't handle that, then I meant what I said."
She heads upstairs to get dressed and take care of herself before she wakes Ember up for the day. Alec is alone to think about what he wants to do because she's not open for further discussion. He needs to start acting like Ember's father and like her husband or she's leaving him.
This is his last chance and, if he doesn't realize it, that's too bad for him because she shouldn't have even given him another chance in the first place. She should have left him after she found out about Elena, but she's an optimist and a sentimentalist and he's been in her life since she was eight years old and she's having a lot of trouble letting him go.
After she showers, gets dressed, wakes Ember, and brushes her teeth with Ember, she heads back downstairs. Ember is super excited that her father is home, but Mary still doesn't want him there and she won't look at him.
He makes each of them breakfast and talks with Ember about all of the things that he's missed, but Mary's thinking of Harry and what she knows she has to do if Alec is actually going to try and work on their marriage.
She won't be able to talk to him so much and, if Alec decides to actually pick Ember up from school, she won't be able to see him at all. It's something that she's sad about, but if she can fix her marriage she has to push those feelings aside anyway.
Hopefully, what she said sticks with Alec because she did mean it when she said she wanted him gone and she did mean it when she said that she hated him, even though a part of her still loves him and always will. She's tired of being hurt and, with any luck, this will be his wakeup call or the push that leads her to happiness with somebody else.
She doesn't understand why he's still with her if he's got another life that he cares about more. There isn't a trace of love that she can find and she just doesn't get why he won't just give it up, tell her that he's leaving and not coming back so that she can move on too. Instead it's like he's playing a game of hearts and if he has three, he's golden.
He's saying something now, speaking her name softly as if he's afraid that she'll yell at him again.
"Mary...?"
She's tempted to keep her eyes on her tea, but she knows that Ember is watching her curiously so she lifts her eyes to meet his for the first time in about an hour.
"Yes?"
He shifts a little uncomfortably because he knows that she's still upset with him, "I asked if we could take Ember to the park today. It's nice outside and it would be fun."
Something about the way he says 'fun' makes her think that he assumes she just keeps her at home all the time and she doesn't like that because it's not true. She takes Ember everywhere she wants to go if she can and she doesn't like how he's insinuated that he knows something that he doesn't.
But she doesn't say anything about it because Ember's there and she's not going to start an argument with him where she can witness it.
"Sure, that sounds nice."
Ember's too absorbed in the fact that her daddy's home to really notice the lack of enthusiasm that her mother has. They're already dressed so it doesn't take long for them to get some food and get in the car to drive to the park.
Alec tries to hold Mary's hand, but she pulls away and keeps her hands in her lap. She feels bad for doing it because he's trying on some level, but a small amount of trying isn't going to make up for all of the crap that he's put her through.
The park isn't very full of children today and Mary's glad because that makes it a whole lot easier to watch her. Alec is actually paying attention to her, but he isn't making an effort to talk to her, which she thinks is ridiculous if he's actually going to try to fix their marriage.
Ember is playing with a little girl that reminds Mary of Harry. She's got curly hair and light eyes and she can almost swear that she saw dimples. Alec is bored and drank a little too much coffee at the house, so he walks off to use the restroom.
Mary's trying not to seem creepy by looking at the little girl, but she looks so much like Harry and she can't seem to look away. She's too caught up in thinking about Harry having a child that she doesn't notice someone behind her.
Harry smiles softly to himself because he knows what she's thinking, "That's Isobel. She looks like me, but that's only because my sister and I look alike and she's her daughter."
He scares her and she closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, "How did you know that's what I was thinking about?"
Harry shrugs and moves to sit beside her on the bench, "You were looking at her like you were thinking about something and it made you happy. I was coming over to say hello when I noticed it."
Mary smiles because his hand brushes hers slightly, even though he does pull it away soon after because he did see her here with her husband.
"Good timing. So, you don't have any kids that I don't know about?"
Harry chuckles and shakes his head, "None. I want kids though."
A brief silence passes between them before he continues, "I heard what you said a few nights ago. I wasn't sure if you wanted my advice or not so I didn't say anything."
Mary frowns a little because she thought that he might not have heard her, "About that, I...well I'm giving him one last chance. He doesn't deserve it at all, but I have to see if there's any part of his heart that still loves me because it will help me move on. He's got a month, but that's it, and if he doesn't show me that he changed I'm going to leave him." She pauses to take a deep breath, "And that means that I can't talk to you as much anymore and he might end up picking Ember up from school."
Harry's expression falls and she can see the hurt flash in his eyes, "Oh. So I guess this is it then?"
Mary looks at her wedding ring and takes a deep breath, "I guess so. For now, at least. I'm really sorry, Harry."
She doesn't want to do this, but she has to put some effort in if Alec does and that means that she has to at least try to distance herself from the feelings for Harry that have started to blossom.
She knows that she's just hurt his feelings, but he still manages to wear a soft smile, "Don't be, I know where you're coming from. Plus, I already told you, I'll wait for you even if I end up being seventy-two by the time I finally get you. Just promise me something." He pauses for a moment to make sure that she's listening, "Do what makes you happy."
Mary's eyes start to water because this feels too much like goodbye and she doesn't want to kick him out of her life, "Okay, I promise."
He knows that he doesn't have much time before Alec returns from the restroom so he makes it as short as he can without being rude, "You can still call or text me if you need me, I'll always be there. Enjoy the rest of your day, Mary."
She practically forces the words from her mouth, "You too, Harry."
Alec returns a few minutes later when Harry is on the other side of the playground and out of sight. He tries to hold her hand again and this time she lets him because she wants to see if he's really willing to continue his actions for more than a day. If she continues to push him away, he won't know how to show her that he still has any sort of feelings for her.
After a few minutes, Ember ends up dragging Mary onto the playground to play tag. She doesn't want to bother her father because he usually doesn't play with her and he looks like he's uncomfortable. Her mommy looks a little upset, but she knows this is a good idea to get her to be happy.
She's seen Harry playing with her new friend Isobel and she said hello, but her mommy is giving him a look that she doesn't understand so she doesn't bring it up. They end up going home around two hours later and ordering in because Mary and Alec aren't in the mood to cook.
Ember is in bed by eight and that leaves Mary and Alec downstairs watching some show that Mary's never even heard of before. He's sitting next to her, but she still feels like he's so far away because his eyes don't leave his phone screen for more than ten seconds.
She knows that he's texting Elena and that she won't be able to gain his attention for very long, so she tells him that she's heading upstairs to take a bath. Her bathtub is one of her favorite things about her house because it's deep and it's big so she doesn't have to sit all scrunched up. It's also perfect for Ember because she loves to take baths with her and it's easy because the tub easily fits the two of them.
Mary lets the bathtub fill with water that's on the verge of scalding and bubbles that smell like lavender. She lights a few candles in hopes that they will help her clear her head and waits patiently as the water and the bubbles rise.
She wants to text Harry because she doesn't feel right at all and she's mad at herself for hurting him in the first place. He's been nothing but sweet and patient with her and she feels like she's doing the wrong thing. And maybe she is, but she needs to know if Alec has really moved on before she files for divorce. It's something that she needs to do for herself and she really hopes that Harry understands that because he's the one that she'll go to when Alec is out of the picture.
The water is steaming by the time she gets in and soft music is playing from her phone. Everything about the atmosphere she's put herself in should make her feel calm, but she still feels incredibly wrong and incredibly sad because Alec is already showing her that she's not his top priority.
She sinks down into the hot water and closes her eyes. Her life hasn't exactly turned out the way that she thought it would by the time she was twenty-six. The love of her life doesn't love her anymore, her daughter has basically grown up without a father, her sister won't talk to her, her parent's look down on her for the decisions that she's made recently, and to top it all off, she's starting to fall in love with her daughter's teacher.
She doesn't know where everything went wrong and she wishes that she could turn back the clock because she's felt awful for so damn long that it's started to become normal. But there's also a big part of her that just wants to move forward and start something new and that part she owes to Harry because he's made her realize that life shouldn't be like this. She shouldn't have to wonder if her husband is coming home or break her back to take care of her only child and she certainly shouldn't be depressed more often than not.
Tears are rolling down her cheeks and she's mad at herself because she cries so much. It seems like everything makes her cry these days and she hates that because it used to be so hard to make her cry. Apparently, all she had to do was give her heart to a man who would break it every day.
She's been in the tub for about thirty minutes when there's a knock on the door. She doesn't answer because she knows that it's Alec and she doesn't want to get wrapped up in his web of lies anymore.
"Can I come in?"
Mary sighs and opens her eyes. She's almost positive that she'll end up sleeping with him if he walks through the door because he knows how to get her to fall for him and it's something that she doesn't like about herself anymore.
"I'd rather you didn't."
He sighs and she pushes a few bubbles around because she's gotten used to playing with them with Ember.
"I don't know what you want me to do, Mary."
She wants to laugh because he does know what she wants him to do. She told him a week and a half ago and he didn't respond.
"Yes you do. I want you to be my husband again and Ember's father. That's all I've ever wanted, Alec."
There's a long moment of silence before he finally responds, "Okay."
Mary isn't sure if he's saying that he's going to try or if he's just confirming that that's what she wants him to do. She stays in for a little longer before deciding that her skin has had enough and she's ready to face an empty bed if he's decided to leave again.
She's surprised when she opens the door and Alec is sitting with his back against the headboard, almost as if he's been waiting for her to come out since she stepped inside. A small smile graces her lips as she dresses because he's actually stayed.
When she crawls into bed beside him, she decides that it wouldn't be so bad to let him cuddle with her tonight because it's nice to feel like someone wants to be close to her. The lights are off and she feels a little better but she still feels like this is wrong because she's almost certain that he's moved on and, if he's moved on, she wants to move on too.
It starts to weigh on her mind, but by the time she's built up the courage to say something, he's already asleep.
"Why won't you just tell me you moved on and let me go? Please, just let me go."