"You going to watch the practice?" Josh exhales a final blow of smoke before chucking the used cigarette away into the flower bush as we pass the school car park.
"No way, Paige will be there," I say with a nonchalant shrug, disguising the fact that I want to blush every time I say her name, or even think of her.
"Oh ok," Josh thinks nothing off it as we carry on around the school in direction of the hall. We have to wait until Ethan has finished his practice so I suggest we make our way to the cafeteria as I'm thirsty.
Josh nods in agreement.
"So it's on? We doing it then?" Josh keeps his voice at a whisper, cautious of his volume being picked up by any security camera's or wondering students not gone home yet.
"Yes we're on, I hid the spray paint in one of the bushes by the math block and silly stringed the camera's out there so we are good to go," I wink at his devious smirk.
"Great, I can't wait to get Paige back. When she takes the blame for her beloved boy friend, I can't wait to find out the punishment she gets, the bitch."
My heart tightens.
I don't know if it's due to the crime we are about to commit, or the fact Josh just described Ethan as her boyfriend.
I'm not supposed to like her, she is bad for my reputation, she was with Josh then with Ethan with the rest of the school against her. But I can't help remember the butterflies I felt when she first visited my house.
She is refreshingly confident, not arrogant but kind and light hearted.
But to fit in I can't be like that. I need to focus on what is important to me right now- my popularity.
"Hey, there she is now," Josh nudges my elbow with a sneaky grin, pointing over to where Paige is standing in front of the vending machine. "You said you were thirsty, go get a free bottle of water."
I breath in with my cocky bad boy smile and saunter over, Josh beside me with casual strides.
She goes to retrieve the bottle when I reach out and catch her wrist.
"Hey," she exclaims with the shock of my presence.
She rises her head but she can't define me, the shadow of my hood shading my eyes and face.
"Um, hi?" The stutter in her voice indicates she still has no clue it is me.
I drop her arm with force.
"Could you get me a water too?" I knock my hood back with the lift of my chin. Her eyes expand with the realisation it is me, a relief flooding across her face as she relaxes with the drop of her shoulders.
"Oh hi Nathan." She sighs.
"Hey," my voice is flat and lifeless. Her smile is pink and sweet.
Don't go all weak now Nathan!
I shove my hands into my jacket and breath through my nose.
"Could you get me a water?" I repeat with a sternness mixing in with my tone, refusing to give up on the challenge set.
There is no one more popular than Josh Crawford in this school, town even, with him the boy friend of Courtney Ray with a privileged spot on the Rover's football team, he is the one I need to stick with to keep at the top of the hierarchy of popularity.
"W-why?" Paige tilts her head in confusion.
From beside me Josh chuckles.
"Cause I'm thirsty," my voice is blunt. I grunt back with a lousy shrug.
I step closer to the machine and tap the correct buttons, she doesn't take her eyes off of me.
"Toss us a dollar would ya?" I extend my arm in her direction and open my hand expectantly. Paige freezes as she stares at my hand with a nervous sway. "Do you have any more money?" I growl to block off my emotions of feeling sorry for her for the way she is trapped in this situation.
But I can't just switch to thinking with my heart now.
"Do you?" I insist an answer with an intake of breath, puffing out my chest.
"Um yeah." Hesitantly Paige rummages into her pocket.
Josh must be getting impatient by the way he yells at her. "Just give it him, God!"
She hands me the money then steps back. I pick up my water and unscrew the top for a long drink. On my heels I spin to leave, feeling guilty for what had just happened. I want to leave now and get this over with so I can go home and forget my life for another twelve hours.
But Paige makes that difficult as she speaks again, making me turn back around to face her again.
"Um, Nathan." Her breath hitches as if afraid to talk to me. The soul of my heart drops which I mask with a sharp expression.
"Yes?"
"Oh, I was just wondering if you've finished that paragraph for our history project yet... It is due in tomorrow, have you done it?"
My gut twists.
But reclaiming my character, no caring and self-centred, I smirk over at Josh who is smiling back. I shake my head with a glance at the ground. I let a laugh slip from my mouth.
"What? Please tell me." The helplessness radiates from her lips, the lips I am desperately trying to avert my attention from. Her eyes go big, inflated with an innocence I wish I was able to sympathise with, but I know I can't.
"Did I forget to tell you?"
I put my hood back up.
"Tell me what?"
"I have a new partner for the project."
I see her jaw literally drop with a stunned silence while she processes my words, the cogs in her brain clicking in disbelief. It was never my idea to switch, with Josh always breathing down my back, monitoring my everything, I just felt that it would be best for me to go with him, especially as most of the school is against Paige.
"Who?"
"Josh." I reveal.
Josh knocks back his hood to reveal the smirk engraved upon his face.
"But why?"
"I think the question is why would he go with you at the start?" Spits back Josh in my defence.
"Sorry Paige," my laughs comes out unsympathetic, my heart punching my heart as I regret it the instant she looks to the floor as if about to shed a tear.
"So, who am I going to present the project with now?"
"You mean my project? I've got the model of the Tudor house so you're just gonna have to use the project Josh did with his partner."
I can't feel emotions now. This girl can ruin everything...
Don't look into her eyes Nathan! Her big brown eyes, full of my guilt and regret. Don't fall now.
"Who's that?-" But she pauses; She knows.
"See you around Paige," I turn my back on her and face Josh, mirroring his smirk as I let his chuckle relax my face, fist bumping him as we exit the cafeteria.
Ethan's soccer practice doesn't last much longer, him reunited with Paige as they hug on the bleachers. Me and Josh are stood at a distance by the bush with the hidden spray paint.
"You ready?"
I snap out of my trance with the shake of Josh's hand on my shoulder, distracting me from Paige and all the other doubts eating my mind piece by piece.
"I'm ready."
Ethan meets with us a few minutes later, his smile wide as he high fives Josh.
"She has no idea that I'm not really in the shower, the girl is so dumb."
"Hey!" I mentally throw my hand over my mouth. Staring deep into my eyes I go stiff with Josh and Ethan's glares. I cough to cover it up and wave for them to continue.
I flex my arm with the hoist of one of the cans, positioning it close to the wall and spray.
I am so stupid! Why did I just say that?
With every ounce of self-anger, I press harder, releasing my stress through the graffiti now tattooed onto the wall, my vandalism a symbol to show that even if I was a nerd, I am no longer the same boy. Yes I used to like Paige, but now, the new Nathan is different.
"Quick! Let's go!"
Me and Josh bolt for my car, Ethan sliding back into the hower room in a haste. I force my foot down on the gas pedal and speed off down the road, leaving everything behind... including Paige.
A/N shout out to V_CrescentMoon_V and Dorky_Any_Shine66 for suggesting this chapter!!!!