“What? You didn’t? He must not have made it, then. I told him it wouldn’t work.” Anger tints Josh’s words.
“Didn’t he know that he’d get sent to the Unknown? Did he expect
“We’ve always wanted to know more about the Unknown. He decided to start working in there, trying to get people to start rebelling more. He thought he’d be able to find a way to escape and we’d work from there.”
“Does he think he will actually be able to escape?” Piper’s eyebrows rise.
“He always says, ‘There’s always at least two ways to escape, although they might not be what you expect.’ If there’s a way to escape, Canton would find one. He’s the one who got us into the girls’ Complex.”
“How can you be sure there’s a way of escaping, though? If there was a way out of the Unknown, don’t you think someone would have discovered it by now? How do you know the Unknown even exists? How do you know it’s not just another lie of the Heads? What if they just kill the people who rebel?” Piper asks.
My stomach sinks. If they simply kill the defiant children, Dana’s dead. Because of me.
“I…I don’t believe that.”
“Why not?” Piper challenges. I want to know to know his reasoning too, just to force away the guilt in my stomach.
“Because…” Josh’s voice is filled with pain. “I don’t know, I just don’t believe it. Canton and Dana can’t be dead.”
Why would the Heads keep the rebels alive? They’re no use to the Heads. It’d be easy to have them dead, unable to cause any more problems. Why would the Heads waste food, living space, and other resources on the ‘ungrateful’?
Piper’s quiet. She’s proved her point.
Josh bites the inside of his cheek. “You didn’t see Canton though? He couldn’t have gotten caught. He had it perfectly planned out.”
“No, he didn’t come unless he missed us or…” I trail off, realizing there’s no hope in what I want to say. If he missed us, he would have gotten safely back to his room that night. He’s in the Unknown, or dead.
A soft cry escapes Piper’s mouth. “Brinn,” She’s breathless, “can you remember anything from last night, after Free Hour?”
“No, but that’s probably because it was just like any other night.”
“Maybe, but what about the bandages? Is it possible that they happened to appear the same night Canton was supposed to reveal all the Heads lies?”
“Maybe they’re connected, but how? Why would we get bandages just because Canton got taken to the Unknown? And what about our memories…”
“They can’t…they can’t take our memories, right?” Josh sounds desperate for someone to reassure him that it’s not possible.
“I…” Piper’s voice fades.
They can’t take away our memories. It’s not possible.
But what about all the other technology they have? What about the medical knowledge they use to keep the Disease away? What about the intelligence it must take to keep us from ever getting sick? What’s keeping them from our memories?
“I can’t believe Canton’s in the Unknown for something that no one can remember.”
He doesn’t say what we are thinking. He might be dead because of it.
A bouncing stream of light runs through the crack of space between the door and the doorframe. Josh frantically gestures to be quiet. We wait for the Official to pass, pressing ourselves against the walls. She doesn’t even look our way.
After she passes, Josh says, “We should get going. There’s a new schedule of Officials.”
He leads us back down the hall. We travel for a couple minutes and another Official appears. Josh pounds a code into the keypad and we slip inside. Once the Official is gone, we begin again.
We’re in a set of halls that I’ve never seen before. Without Josh leading the way, I’d have no idea how to get back to my room. The thought spikes the pounding in my ears.
Josh enters another code into a different door and we follow inside. My eyes adjust to the darkness and I realize where we are. The Eating Hall. Except, we’re behind the counter, where the Officials normally stand to give us our food. It’s strange to see the Eating Hall from an Official’s perspective.
Josh strides to the counter. He plants his hands on the counter and pushes his weight on to his arms. He swings his legs over and slides across the it. Standing on the other side of the counter, he motions for us to do the same thing.
I glance uncertainly at Piper. She presses her lips together and shrugs. Her gait confident as she strides up to the counter. She easily swings herself over, her arms shaking only a little. She lands gingerly next to Josh and smiles encouragingly at me.
I step up to the counter. I should be able to do it, if Piper can. The most physically active thing we do is walk slowly around the track, but it can’t be too hard.
My teeth clench together and I push myself up on the counter. My leg struggles to lift over the counter. A soft gasp escapes me as I tip forward, my balance gone. I fall, my chin slamming to the cold, steel counter. My arms are pinned beneath me, my legs dangling uselessly over the side.
Piper and Josh free my arms. I roll over and sit up, my chin throbbing already. I bring my shaking fingers up to my chin, brushing lightly over the skin. At least there’s no blood.
Piper’s eyes ask me if I’m okay. I smile weakly at her, blinking away the tears gathering in my eyes. What if there’s a bruise? How can I hide that from the Officials?
Josh whispers, “Are you coming again, two nights from now?”
I glance at Piper and she nods.
“Meet here then.” He says.
Josh easily vaults himself back over the counter and jogs out of the room, leaving Piper and I alone.
We stumble back to our rooms. I slip the napkin out of the doorframe and slip it into my waistband. My chin aches too badly for sleep. I fall into bed, pulling the blankets over my body. What will I do when there’s a bruise on my chin? How will I hide it all day from the Officials, especially after I just got rid of my P.O.? This wound will only add to my supposed instability, earning me my own spot in the Unknown.
˚˚°˚˚
I wake up with an aching chin. My thumb grazes over it, sending tendrils of pain over my skin. There has to be a bruise. How do I hide it?
I duck my head down, and dart out of the room before Kate can notice. I slip into the middle of the crowd, where I’ll be least likely to be seen by Officials. I keep my head down, but not far enough to be noticeable. I swing my braid on to my right side, hoping that it guards my chin from half the Officials.
My hands shake all the way to my Renewals. I stumble inside and my Renewal Official closes the door behind me. Do I need to hide it from her, too? I can’t.
“The napkin.” Her soft words shock me. My head instinctively snaps up. She gasps, seeing the bruise. How bad is it? Is it worse than the pain?
How does she know about the napkin tucked into my waistband?
She repeats, her voice only a sliver louder, “The napkin first, then we’ll deal with that.”
I stare at her. With a shaking hand, I pull the napkin out of my waistband and place it in her hand. She nods and leaves me. I stumble to the shower.
How did she know? Has she been watching me? Does she know I’ve been leaving my room at night? I come back to the same question as always.
Why hasn’t she taken me to the Unknown?
I step out of the showers. She hands me my clothes and leads me over to my stool. She does my basic makeup before focusing on my chin. She tilts my head upward and grabs a mirror from the shelf. She positions it so I can catch a glimpse of my chin.
Blue. Purple. A hint of green. It looks worse than it feels. She pulls the mirror away and I catch a hint of my own reflection.
I’ve never seen myself. Ever. My brown hair pulled back, sad green eyes, thin face. Is that what I really look like?
She places the mirror back on the shelf. I’ll probably never see myself again. Seeing my face once is more of a privilege than most girls have.
First she covers my chin in a light paste, rubbing it gently into my skin. She brushes some powder over it lightly, and then finishes applying my normal makeup.
She’s once again saved me from the Unknown. I hesitantly thank her with a smile. Her face remains blank, but something dances across her eyes.
I’m later to Morning Meal than normal. Piper’s eyes widen when she sees my missing bruise. I send her a look that promises to explain soon.
How can I explain it to her though, when I haven’t told her anything about my Renewal Official? It’s not that I don’t want to tell her, it’s just that I don’t understand it myself. What if she gets mad at me for not telling her? Will she understand?
I try to swallow my worry along with my oatmush.
˚˚°˚˚
Piper strides with me at Free Hour, “Did you not have a bruise?”
I press my teeth together. Do I tell her? How can I? Can I risk it, even with so many Officials nearby? It’s one thing to risk my own life by talking about me, but can I risk my Renewal Official too?
I shrug, “I guess not. I was worried about it all day.”
Heat rushes to my face. How could I have lied to Piper? She’s never lied to me. This is how I repay her honesty.
Piper frowns, “I guess you got lucky.”
She probably thinks I’m weak. She thinks I almost cried over something that didn’t even leave a bruise. That’s better than risking my Renewal Official’s life. If it becomes incredibly important that I tell Piper about my Renewal Official, I will. It just doesn’t need to be risked right now.
“What do you think about what Josh said on—”
Kate appears at Piper’s side. I clench my teeth together and Piper flawlessly switches topics. We discuss what we think Ellen and Derek’s greatest achievements are. My mind wanders and I realize who’s walking directly in front of us. Sienna and her roommates.
Sienna lags behind from the others, glancing behind her every few minutes. What is she looking for? I wait for her to turn again, and she catches my eye. She opens her mouth to say something, and then quickly closes it.
She must want to talk to me. I speed up my pace, while she slows down. I stay a step behind her, so that it’s not as obvious that we are talking, but we can still hear each other.
I open my mouth, but Sienna says, “I can trust you.”
It’s not so much a question, but a statement. Like she’s trying to reassure herself.
What does that mean? With uncertainty, I whisper back yes.
“What do you think about the boy then?”
My heart rate soars. How does she know about Josh? If she knows, who else does?”
“It’s almost like he wanted to get sent to the Unknown.” She adds.
Josh isn’t in the Unknown. The only other boy I know is Canton and he’s…in the Unknown. But, Sienna can’t know about Canton. The Officials somehow took away our memories. I glance at Sienna’s arm. It still has a bandage just like mine.
I ask, each word careful, “What do you mean?” Maybe she knows some other boy. I need to know more information before I give away any secrets.
“The boy who ran through the halls and escaped the Officials for a minute. He could have gotten further away, but he stopped and talked to use instead. Something about men not being dangerous.”
Josh said that was what Canton planned to do. Is it possible that Sienna still remembers? She has the bandage, so the Officials couldn’t have missed her. Did it not work on Sienna?
If Sienna can remember, who else can?
Sienna’s still waiting for a response. What do I say? Do I tell her that her memory was supposed to be taken away? Should I pretend to remember too? What if I acted like I had no idea what she’s talking about?
She isn’t loyal to the Heads. Simply telling me her name was an act of defiance. “His name is Canton.”
I hold my breath and wait for her to say something. Why did I have to say that? What if it was a trap? What if she’ll turn me in?
It’s not the answer she was expecting. She carefully thinks over the new information before asking one word, “How?”
Does she want to get involved? Would she want to, if she knew all the risks?
Sienna says, “I want to know. Tell me.”
I tell her the short version. Meeting Josh, Dana joining and then disappearing to the Unknown, Piper coming with me. Once again, I leave out my Renewal Official. I can’t tell Sienna, especially when I haven’t told Josh or Piper yet. It’s not that I don’t want to tell them, I don’t know how. How do I explain all the things an Official has done to help me?
Sienna nods slightly. “When do you meet again?”
“Every other night. Tomorrow.”
“I’m coming."