HOW I LOST YOU

By JanetGurtler

2.8M 27.9K 7.6K

Grace and Kya always do everything together, and nothing can get in the way of their friendship. But then Lev... More

HOW I LOST YOU
CHAPTER ONE
CHAPTER TWO
CHAPTER THREE
CHAPTER FOUR
CHAPTER FIVE
CHAPTER SIX
CHAPTER NINE
CHAPTER TEN
CHAPTER ELEVEN
CHAPTER TWELVE
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
CHAPTER NINTEEN AND BONUS TWENTY!
Chapter Twenty-One
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
CHAPTER TWENTY THREE & TWENTY FOUR!
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE and CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
The LAST TWO CHAPTERS
One More Thing!

CHAPTER SEVEN/ EIGHT

70.5K 874 198
By JanetGurtler

Chapter Seven

My body froze. Goosebumps ran up my arms. I turned further away from Levi.

"Are you okay?" I whispered. I wanted to reach through the phone and hug her close to me. Protect her from his darkness. Evil.

Kya didn’t answer. Over the phone, the background noise changed. Someone was knock-ing on a door.

"Kya," I said sharply. "Where are you? I’ll come and get you."

She covered the phone. I heard muffled sounds. She called to someone. A door opened and the noise got louder. I heard bottles clink. She giggled but it was a messy half laugh, half sob.

"Kya!" I called.

"Hold on. Give me a sec," she said in a slow over-enunciated voice. "I’m talking to Grace."

Over the phone, the door closed. It got quieter. Kya breathed loudly into the earpiece. "I hate…" She didn’t finish her sentence but breathed heavily into the receiver. The words hung in my ear. Asking to be completed.

"Kya," I said in a louder voice. "I’m coming to get you. Right now. Where are you?"

A boy called her name. The phone rustled around again. I heard faint giggling and then the phone was hung up.

I pulled it away from my ear. Hit redial.

"Kya?" Levi mouthed softly. I nodded as it rang. Someone picked up, but before I said a word, it clicked off again.

"What the hell?" I dialed again and it rang and rang and rang. "Shit." The phone was heavy in my hand and my heart hammered. From the corner of my eye, I saw a girl about my age piggybacking a guy into the coffee shop. They were laughing and happy. Envy filtered through me for a moment and then it was gone.

"Is she okay?" Levi asked, bringing me back to the moment.

I wondered what he had gotten from my end of the conversation.

"No." I pushed on the table to move my chair back and threw the phone back in my purse. "I’m sorry. I need to go. I have to find her."

He frowned and reached across the table, grabbing my hand. "What’s wrong with her?"

His hand gripped mine. Too tight. I pulled hard to get away from him. The look on his face scared me. I remembered the warning. His temper. His eyebrows pressed together and his lips were one tight line. As if he was irritated. What could he possibly have against Kya?

He leaned across the table, his eyebrows squished together in a thick unibrow. I frowned, my stomach twisting.

"I have to find her," I repeated, bothered by the intensity in his face. All flirty coffee banter had vanished. "I have to go."

His entire demeanor changed. Anger. He was angry.

Disappointment bubbled under my skin and I longed to go back to the conversation be-fore Kya’s call, but I didn’t have time to deal with his issues or even my reaction to them.

He let me go and sat back. "I think I know where she is." I stared at him. "She was with my cousin earlier." He gazed into his tea and then back at me. "She probably still is," he said in a softer voice.

"What?" I glared at him with anger of my own rising to the surface.

"She came over this afternoon. My aunt and uncle are in Seattle for the weekend. Lucas and I are alone. He had a few guys over. And Kya." He pushed back on his chair and stood. "Come on. I’ll take you there."

"What do you mean?" I demanded as I stood. His words were perfectly clear. I didn’t want to believe them.

"Kya was in the basement when I left. With a couple of Lucas’s buddies." He glanced at the giggly happy couple picking up their coffee drinks. "They were drinking."

I snatched the unfinished cup of hot chocolate from the table to throw in the garbage on the way out, gripping the cup so tightly, some of it spilled on the floor. "Why didn’t you tell me?"

Levi picked up the almost-full tea and put his free hand on my back to let me move ahead of him. "I’m sorry, Grace. If I’d known you were looking for her, I would have told you right away." His voice was gentle again, the anger gone.

We hurried through the coffee shop, ignoring the curious stares from the barista and the moms, and dumped our drinks in the trash. He held the exit door for me. I slipped by him and my skin touched his bare arm. Dark and warm. I shivered. Outside, I hurried toward my car and he easily matched my pace. "I didn’t know you were worried." He paused. "And she seems like a partier. I thought it was normal for her."

"You don’t know her," I snapped.

"I know enough." I glared at him and picked up my pace.

"Sorry." He reached for my arm. "I know she’s your friend."

I jerked away from his apologetic touch. "It’s complicated. She’s complicated." I wanted to tell him he was wrong about Kya. Sometimes she was a party girl. But he didn’t know why. And I couldn’t tell him. We reached his car and he stopped.

"I’m right here. Why don’t I drive you?" he said. "It’ll be easier. We can come back and pick up your car later."

"Fine." I nodded, focused on getting to Kya quickly.

He opened the passenger door of a shiny blue hatchback. "We’re not far. It won’t take long." He reached across me to brush fast-food wrappers off the passenger seat. "Sorry. I’m kind of a car slob." He straightened and his cheeks had blotches of red on them. "I have to clean it before my aunt gets home."

At any other time, the embarrassment would be kind of endearing, but I climbed inside, snapped on my seat belt, and said nothing. "How did she even end up at your place?" I mumbled when he got in the driver seat.

"Lucas got her number yesterday. Before the paintball game." He started the car. "He was bragging about it."

I cringed on Kya’s behalf, imagining the less than poetic way Lucas probably put it. An-other Neanderthal to add to her list.

"I guess they arranged to hang out today."

So these were her plans. Brady was definitely over.

"What time did she get there?" I asked as he backed out of the parking spot and drove through the lot, headed for the main street.

He kept his gaze focused out the front window. "About four? They started drinking right away."

I stared at Levi’s profile and for a second wished neither of us was involved in this. We’d been having a good time. He’d been sweet. And so cute. I had an urge to leave Kya to figure this out on her own for once. But I glanced out the window and shook off the thought.

She needed me.

And thank God Levi was involved. If it weren’t for him, I’d have no idea where she was.

He came to a halt at a four-way stop. He flicked on the right turn signal and glanced over. "I hope I didn’t screw things up by not telling you about Kya earlier."

A ticklish feeling wiggled inside my belly. I bit my lip to hold back an entirely inappro-priate smile but couldn’t stop a swoop of pleasure that washed away some of the bad feelings.

"Let’s go and get her, okay?" I said softly. "I need to know that she’s all right."

Trouble was, I didn’t know if she would be. Not for a very long time.

chapter eight

Levi drove down a quiet suburban street in a newer area of Tadita, with earth-toned matchy-match houses and well-maintained lawns. The whole street reeked of lavender and the less subtle scent of successful young couples and perfect but invisible children. There was no activity anywhere. Quiet, unused trampolines sunbathed in backyards with no sign of life.

"This is where you live?" I asked when Levi pulled into a driveway with a triple-car gar-age. Huge planters filled with colorful flowers lined the sidewalk all the way to the front door.

Levi turned off the car and nodded. "Temporarily."

"It’s nice."

"Appearances can be deceiving. Come on."

We hopped out of the car, and I followed him up the driveway and waited while he punched numbers into the code-locked door. I crept into the house behind him but stopped on an area rug in the front hallway. He walked further without taking off his sneakers.

The front entrance was large and dim with dark hardwood running down the hallway into a kitchen visible around the corner. A large, mirrored closet behind me reflected a table with a vase filled with bright sunflowers. They looked fake, but I couldn’t be sure.

"They’re definitely not here," Levi called. "Too quiet. They were whooping it up in the basement when I left." His footsteps clomped downstairs and then a door opened. A minute later, he returned to the front hall, shaking his head.

"Damn," I said. "What the hell is she doing?" I pulled my phone from my purse and speed dialed James’s number.

He answered on the second ring and I heard the groan of a vacuum cleaner shutting down in the background.

"James?"

"That’s what my parents called me," he answered.

"Have you talked to Kya?"

"I’m swellsville, Grace. Thanks for your interest in my well-being. But negatory. I have not had contact with our dear Kya this entire day."

"Shoot." I sensed Levi watching but didn’t look at him.

"What’s up?" James asked. "What’s she done now?" He didn’t bother to disguise the edge of impatience in his voice.

I swiveled slightly on my heels. "I’m worried about her. I need

to find her." I heard footsteps and turned to see Levi going to the kitchen.

James sighed. "Well. You know Kya. If she’s on a mission of self-destruction, she’ll go dark if she doesn’t want to be found," James said. "I wouldn’t worry about her."

In the kitchen, water whooshed out of a tap.

"James, this is different." He was right, of course. Kya did disappear sometimes and ig-nored phone or text messages. She’d emerge when she was done being dark and depressed or whatever she did when she hid out. But something had happened. "I need to find her."

"People who have nothing to hide hide nothing," he said.

I sighed. If only it was that easy. Levi popped his head around the corner and held up an empty glass to see if I wanted water. I shook my head. On the other end of the phone, James mirrored my sigh.

"Do you want help looking for her?"

"It’s okay. You’re busy." I glanced toward the kitchen.

"It’s stupid housework. I can do it tomorrow. Mom had a rough afternoon. She’s med-icated and out for the night. She’s been in a lot of pain so we upped her meds. She won’t notice if I vacuum tomorrow."

The clanking in the kitchen stopped. Levi walked around the corner and stopped by the table and vase, pressing his hip against the wall.

"Is your mom going to be okay?" I asked James.

"The six-million dollar question. She’s sleeping now, not in pain. That’s as good as it gets some days."

I nodded, my heart going out to him. "Don’t worry about Kya, okay? I have help. I’ll find her. I thought you might know something."

"Nada."

In the mirror, I caught the reflection of Levi’s flat stomach. A section of smooth tanned skin showed where his shirt caught on the wall. I quickly looked away.

"Thanks, James. I hope your mom feels better. Talk to you tomorrow?"

"Yeah. Tomorrow."

I clicked off the phone before he asked questions about who was helping me. I tucked it back in my purse. Levi raised his eyebrows.

"James. My other best friend," I told him. "And Kya’s."

"The guy from Splatterfest? The one who did the announcing. Glasses? Black hair?"

I nodded. My mind was busy trying not to think of his bare skin while also trying to think where Kya could be.

Levi pushed off the wall. "I think I know where they might have gone." He straightened and his shirt slid down. Disappointment and relief fogged my brain. I blinked to windshield-wipe away the perverted thoughts.

"Steve Blender’s," Levi said. "He was here. He has a pool, and since it finally stopped raining, I bet they went there. Lucas took me when I first moved here."

"Steve Blender’s? Are you serious? He doesn’t even like us." I shifted from foot to foot and caught sight of myself in the mirror. Pieces of hair had escaped from my bun and pointed all over the place. Zero makeup, a plain white T-shirt, and black yoga shorts. The only color on my body was a yellow stripe outlining my zebra-print purse. I looked like a flat-chested and boring preteen.

"Well. Based on what I’ve seen and heard, he doesn’t base his opinion of girls on their personalities. But so you know, they seemed to be getting along fine."

"I can’t believe she’d go there."

"Only one way to find out." He held his hand out for me to walk out the door ahead of him.

"Do you know where his house is?"

"I have his address." He lifted his phone from his pocket. "Lucas texted it the day I went there. I haven’t been invited back."

"I’ll take that as a good character reference." I twisted my hand around the doorknob and pushed. "Can you take me?"

"Of course." He shadowed me outside and hurried ahead to open the passenger door on his car. He drove a few blocks to another part of the suburb. The houses looked like they’d been fed growth hormones. Even the lots were triple the size.

He slowed down in front of a house with a long, wide driveway. Levi pulled behind a couple of SUVs. "This is it." He killed the ignition and pointed to the right. "You can see the pool in the backyard."

A fence wrapped around the yard. Through the slats, pool water shimmered in the sun-light. It was hard to associate Steve Blender with this place.

"That’s my uncle’s car." Levi pointed to a Mustang in front of the driveway, boxed in by the SUVs. "Dumbass is driving it when he’s been drinking," he muttered.

We hopped out at the same time and hurried up the driveway. Whoops and hollers floated over the fence from the backyard. Obnoxious music polluted the air but it wasn’t overly loud. Noise bylaws, I guessed.

I heard a high-pitched giggle and walked faster. Levi reached the gate first, slipped his hand inside, and opened it. We hurried along the side of the house. I stopped, taking in the scene.

Out by the pool, three boys sat on lawn chairs facing Kya. She was standing on top of a lawn chair wearing her favorite pink bikini top with black boy-short bottoms. She knew she gave good butt in them and to prove it, she was dancing on the chair and shaking it. The boys were holding beer bottles and staring at Kya with pervy expressions. One of them held up a phone as Kya danced.

Her fingers slid up behind her back, reaching for the knot in her bathing suit strap, a drunken impression of a stripper. She stumbled as she tried moving seductively to the bass puls-ing out of invisible speakers.

"Show us your tits," the boy with the phone yelled to Kya.

"Kya!" I yelled louder.

Lucas glanced over and spotted Levi and I, and his eyes narrowed. The boy with the phone spotted me and grinned. It was malicious and he winked. A chill slithered up my back.

"Levi brought more talent," he called.

Levi swore.

I rushed toward Kya who recognized me despite the glazy eyes. She stumbled a little and giggled. "Skanklet. My best friend in the whole world!" she cried.

"This is private property," Steve said, waving his beer at me. "No one invited you. Get off it."

"Kya!" I yelled.

She’d pulled on the strings too hard and was holding her bikini top in her hand, giving the boys a free show.

"Whoa," Lucas called as if he was as shocked as I was.

"Turn that off," Levi yelled to the guy with the phone. His voice sounded deeper and his words were soaked with rage.

"Woo hoo," cried the guy with the phone, ignoring him and standing up to get a better view. "Bare boobies. Skin for the win."

Levi turned, his face almost unrecognizable. He charged him and grabbed for the phone. When the guy held it out and away, Levi punched him in the face. The phone dropped to the pavement and the boy howled and reached for his eye.

I gasped and my hand flew to my mouth.

Lucas jumped up and in a flash was on Levi, holding him back by the shoulders. "Chill out," Lucas growled. "Chill the hell out."

I ran and grabbed the towel by Kya’s chair, helped her step down, and wrapped the towel around her at the same time. She giggled softly but almost manically then made an ooomph sound and stumbled into a planter. I steadied her and nothing got broken.

"Dude!" The guy with the phone yelled, holding his eye. "You punched me." Fortunately, instead of attacking back and starting a brawl, he mumbled and complained as he bent to pick up his phone.

Lucas was holding Levi, talking to him in a low voice. The phone guy plunked down in his chair, seemingly more concerned with his phone than his eye.

Steve Blender jumped up from his chair, still holding a beer bottle. "You should leave be-fore I call the cops," Steve said, staring at Levi. "You want to press charges, Cameron?" Steve asked.

I glanced at Cameron, the boy Levi punched. He’d taken his hand off his eye and was in-specting the phone, mumbling about his mom. He shook his head.

Kya giggled and I pulled her in close, trying to shield her from the arguing as if she were a child.

"Lucky for you." Steve walked toward Levi and Levi struggled, but Lucas held him back. "I hear you don’t need more trouble with cops."

Levi stared Steve down, his eyes slits of anger. His lips were a thin line of rage. Steve grinned. I sensed the danger beneath Levi’s surface and shivered.

Lucas didn’t take his hands off Levi’s shoulder. "Hey guys, chill out. We’re not going to call the cops." He glared at Steve and then back at Levi. "You don’t need more trouble," Lucas said softly and something else. It sounded like "probation."

Steve stepped toward me and I moved in front of Kya, shielding her even as he looked down his nose at me. "This is a private party," he said. "And unless you’re going to show us your tits, you’re not invited. Do you want me to call the cops?" He tilted back his beer but didn’t take his eyes off me as he drank it.

"Like you’ll call the cops." I stood toe to toe with him until Kya wobbled and stepped back. I fought to keep her upright.

"Oh wait." Steve dragged his gaze up and down my body. "Come to think of it, you don’t have anything worth viewing. Leave."

I lifted my chin, but warmth lit up my cheeks. I died a little inside.

Levi pushed Lucas away and stomped over, putting himself between Steve and me.

"Take your little girlfriend and go," Steve said. He smirked at Kya and I moved closer to her, trying to shield her from his eyes. "Kya can stay."

"She is not staying," I growled.

Steve strolled back to his lawn chair, took a long pull from his beer, and then sat. "See ya, losers. Leave the cute girl behind."

"Kya is coming with us." I tucked my arm through hers and tried to get her to start walk-ing.

Lucas walked closer to me. "Kya’s a grown girl," he said. "She can stay."

I glared at him, every ounce of anger burning through my eyes. "She’s leaving."

"She came with me. I’ll take care of her." Lucas tried to put his arm around her but I el-bowed him in the gut.

"Ow," he said with an oof.

"Cause you’re doing such a great job of that already." I pulled harder on her arm. "You’ve made sure she’s in no condition to be left alone with you guys. You redneck with shit for brains."

Kya teetered on her feet, confused, looking back and forth between Lucas and me. "Skanklet. It’s okay!" she slurred, wiggling away from me. The towel slipped off again as she staggered. Her bones were liquefied and she wiggled, giggling and slithering. The boy with the phone whooped. I flipped him the finger and reached for the towel and her bathing suit top.

"Party pooper," she said with another giggle.

"Kya," I snapped. "Put your friggin’ top back on."

I helped her do up her bathing suit top and Levi held the towel up to block her from the phone perv. Kya giggled. "You’re my best friend in the whole world." She kissed me on the cheek and then dirty danced on my leg.

"What did you give her?" I snapped at Lucas. She seemed more than drunk.

Levi pushed him away.

"Beer," Lucas said.

"And a few pills," Steve added from his chair, obviously amused. "You should try a few, Grace. Might loosen you up a little. You’re no fun outside the paintball arena. At least there I can bounce you."

"Shut up, man." Levi took a step toward him but Lucas intercepted him, grabbed his arm, and pulled him back.

"Take your friend and go," Lucas said. "You don’t need extra trouble."

Kya started to cry. I put my arm around her shoulder. She smelled horrible. Boozy and cheap.

"Grace. Take me home," she said in a little-girl voice that sounded scared and very un-Kya-like.

I glared at the boys. "You’re disgusting," I spit out, eyeing them one by one.

Levi hurried back and put his arm under Kya’s. She whimpered and shrank away and he glanced at me for guidance. I shook my head and he let her go.

"Grace. I’m scared," Kya said, wrapping her arms around me. A raunchy song in the background added a sinister feeling to her voice.

"It’s okay, sweetie, I’m taking you home." I turned to Lucas. "Asshole," I said through gritted teeth. "You are an asshole."

He blinked, his eyes open wide, contrite.

"I’m sorry." He hurried closer and picked up the towel as it slipped off her shoulders again. He put his arm around her. "Hey, Kya. Don’t cry. Why’re you crying?" He adjusted the towel over her shoulder and said something in Kya’s ear but she only sobbed louder.

"She’s not very big, but I didn’t know she couldn’t handle her liquor," he said to me.

"Not such a tough girl now, is she?" Steve called from his lawn chair.

"I will hose you down the next time I see you," I promised Steve through gritted teeth. As if spraying him down with paint in a game of paintball could somehow help Kya now.

"I’m scared," he said in a taunting tone.

I shot him a look meant to freeze his dark soul, but he merely grinned. Lucas patted Kya’s arm but Levi moved in, and this time she let him and he started to walk her away.

"Is she okay?" Lucas asked me.

I glared at him. "Does she look okay to you?"

She looked like a TV with no reception. Broken. I turned my shoulder, cutting him off with my body.

"You should take her home," he said in a low voice. "I didn’t know they gave her pills."

"Gee, thanks for the advice. And for taking such good care of her." My mama-bear in-stincts flared.

"Where’re her clothes and stuff?" I demanded. Lucas scooped up her fake Gucci purse and a pair of shorts and T-shirt from the grass and brought them to me, and I joined Levi to walk her slowly toward the gate.

"Where’re we going?" she asked. Her shoulders hunched over and her eyes were hooded and glossy with tears. My heart broke for her a little more.

"Tell her I’ll call her," Lucas called as we left him behind us.

"Yeah, why don’t you not do that," I growled over my shoulder, trying to help steady Kya and walk her to Levi’s car.

Between Levi and me, we managed to shove her in the backseat. I leaned down and strapped her into the seatbelt. "I should sit back there with her," I told Levi. "To make sure she’s okay." I crawled over Kya and sat on top of the middle seat, tucking myself in beside Kya and fastening my own seatbelt.

She moaned and grunted. "Do you hate me, Gracie? Please don’t hate me."

"I don’t hate you," I said and she snuggled up beside me, her bare skin hot and her smell rank. She leaned her head back against the seat and closed her eyes. She slurred a few words, but in a matter of seconds, her face went slack and she seemed out.

Levi jumped into the driver seat. "Where to?" he asked, turning his head back. "She go-ing to be okay?" He pulled out of the driveway and drove away from the house.

"I think so. She needs to sleep it off. God, I can’t take her home like this," I said. "My parents would have a complete fit. And her parents can’t deal with it."

Our eyes met in the rearview mirror. "She can come to my place," Levi said. "There’s no one home. We could put her to bed for a while, let her sleep most of it off. She have a curfew?"

A motorcycle roared past and I glanced out the window. "Not really. But she is expected to come home." I thought about his offer and shook my head. "What about when Lucas gets back? I don’t want her waking up there. It would be awkward. And no offense, but I don’t trust him with her in this condition."

Levi pulled up to a red light and stopped, turning back to look at us. "I’d like to kill him," he said, "for his part in this. But I don’t think he would do anything to a girl who was passed out. That’s sick."

I nodded as the light turned green and he turned his attention back to the road.

"One thing I’ve learned is that there’s a lot of sick in our world," I said.

We drove in silence for a couple of seconds. "I’m sorry you had to learn that," he said.

I didn’t respond, even though it sounded a little like a question. "Can you unroll the win-dows back here? She stinks."

He pressed a button and opened both windows in the back a smidge and fresh air filtered in.

"She get like this often?" he asked. I heard judgment in his voice.

A spark of defensiveness flared up for my friend. "No. Not like this. Whatever they gave her knocked her out."

Kya snorted a piggish snore as if to agree. Silent conviction floated to the backseat.

"She’s a good person," I felt compelled to say, and then a sudden flare of anger sparked up. "And what about you?" I snapped, irrationally angry and directing it at him. "Why’re you worried about cops?"

"None of your business," he snapped back.

He took a deep breath then and let it out slowly. "Sorry," he said softly. "I made a mis-take. I had some trouble with the cops. I’ll tell you about it another time if you want. But this isn’t the time or place. This isn’t about me." Behind us, a car honked and Levi lifted his middle finger at the driver. "I’m going the friggin’ speed limit," he snarled, even though no one could hear him but me.

Remorse washed away my misplaced anger. "I’m sorry. You’re right." I glanced down at my sad-looking best friend. I reached over and pushed back her hair from her eyes. She didn’t even flinch. "She’s been through a lot. I mean, I know it’s not really an excuse. I’d never get this way." I wanted to protect her, but a selfish part of me also wanted to let him know it wasn’t something I’d ever do.

"It’s okay." But his reflection in the rearview mirror kind of told a different story.

My heart raced. I also wanted him to like me. My mind bounced back and forth. Self-interest. Protection of my friend. Levi. "She was raped," I blurted out.

Then my eyes opened wide and my hand flew up to cover my mouth. My pulse pounded and guilt mixed with blood whooshing to my head. An instant headache blasted me. I stared down at the unresponsive lump who was my best friend, waiting for her to suddenly come to life and crucify me for betraying her.

I’d never told anyone before.

What had I done?

***

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