This couldn't be real. They were still in bed and he was having a nightmare. Except the sick sensation was too strong to be imagined. Why hadn't she told him?
Half an hour ago she'd been warm and sensual. Now she was hard, her stance aggressive, her shoulders back and war in her eyes. The Maya he knew, the Maya he loved, was gone. Had she been a figment of his imagination? Or a manipulation on Maya's part?
No. He wouldn't believe that.
Of all the questions bouncing through his brain, what came out was, "Did you sleep with him? Is he cupcake man?"
"No, he's not cupcake man. And I never had sex with Etienne. That should have tipped me off. A guy who didn't want my body? It was a first. I should've known he was a cop. We met when I was working in one of Big Tony's clubs. My ex, Victor, had been one of Tony's drug runners, except I didn't know that at the time. Shortly after Victor went to prison, Etienne approached me. He was kind and sweet and just listened. He came to my art shows and met me after work, drove me home, that sort of thing."
"He treated you nicely."
"Yes. Then he started hanging out at the club more, and one day he asked me to introduce him to Tony. So I did. Etienne's smart. Tony saw that and started to give him little jobs. Things started to shake up in Tony's organization. It was probably Etienne's doing. As each little guy got arrested, Etienne would take his place. Until soon he was in the inner circle."
Jacques's jaw ached from clenching his teeth. Only knowing it would make things worse for Maya had stopped him from punching the undercover cop straight in the face.
Maya's voice was still hard, her stance rigid. "Our personal relationship was stalled in the friends department. I liked Etienne, but I didn't want another criminal boyfriend, so I tried to break it off. I'd worked out by then that he'd only used me to get to Tony. Then Tony invited the two of us to his cabin for the weekend. Etienne begged me to go—it seemed the invitation depended on me coming as well. It's a typical gang thing. If you bring your woman then the boss has some leverage if things go wrong."
She shuddered and he wanted to go to her, wrap her in his arms, and never let her go. But time was ticking and he had to know all of it. "What happened at the cabin?"
"It was a remote place, on a lake in the middle of nowhere. It was so dark you couldn't see your own feet. After dinner, Tony invited us all outside to view the stars. Then he shot his two closest guys. He blamed them for all the leaks and said he was cleaning house. When we got back to the city, Etienne told me it was over between us. I was angry but not heartbroken; I never loved him. The next day I went to hand in my notice at the club, but there was a raid and I was arrested. The shock of having to bail me out sent my great-grandmother into hospital. As I hadn't done anything except be a stupid patsy, I was released. I spent the next two weeks at Gran-Gran's side before she slipped away. She was so disappointed in me. I broke her faith, her trust, and her heart."
"Maya." His chest ached from holding in his emotions. This couldn't be happening. He couldn't be on the verge of happiness only to have it torn away again. The hope that had begun to grow in his heart shriveled and died.
"No, let me continue. I have to tell it all." She paced the floor, her hands clenched in fists. "I was devastated. Gran-Gran had been my rock, my biggest supporter. Then I heard that one of Tony's men was ready to testify and they were fast-tracking the court case. I thought maybe it was Etienne about to confess. I hadn't seen him since we were both arrested at the club. Then I was watching the news one night and I heard a report about a murder-suicide where the man's whole family was killed before he took his own life. It was one of Big Tony's guys, and I knew he'd never have killed himself, let alone his family whom he loved. Tony had got to him, killed him too. Then the next night, the other witness to the original murders was found in the St. Laurence River. I saw the way the wind was blowing; it was my turn next. Thankfully, the lawyer handling Gran-Gran's estate had completed the transfer of the land and cottage here into my name and sent me the documents. I left the country that same evening. I wanted to put it all behind me. Start new. Make her proud of me for once."
She stopped pacing, her hands held out to him for a brief second before they fell to her side. "Sorry I didn't make our full thirty days. I was really looking forward to hearing your revised terms." Her voice broke and a single tear escaped. It was his undoing.
He looked at the door then pulled her into his arms, his lips against her ear. "We can escape. I can get you out of here. I can have a plane—"
"No. It's over, Jacques." She pulled out of his arms and stood behind the chair.
If she'd shot him in the chest it couldn't have hurt more. "How can you say that?"
"Because I live in the real world. You have no idea what Big Tony is capable of. He knows I can testify against him and he won't rest until I'm dead. I was lucky the police found me before he did. He'll have seen the pictures on the Internet, too. If I don't leave, go with the cops, he'll come after you. Or Charles or Daniel."
"I can protect us all. I have money. I can hire the best security personnel in the world."
"And we live in a compound? A prison ourselves while he goes free and kills other people? Do you know what they want me to testify about? I saw him execute two members of his gang in cold blood. He made them kneel before him and then he put a bullet in each of their heads. I can't hide anymore. I can't put other people's lives in jeopardy because I'm a coward. I have to face up to my past."
"And what about us?" Because he refused to believe she didn't care at least a little.
"I can't undo everything my great-grandmother did. I can't destroy the family she sacrificed everything to save."
"What do you mean?" But wait, there's more. His stomach clenched in knots and his chest felt like it was about to cave in.
"The real reason Gran-Gran left your grandfather wasn't because she fell in love with someone else. It was to protect your inheritance. Evidently, your family was on the verge of bankruptcy. The only thing that could save them was if Charles married some wealthy heiress. But Gran-Gran knew he wouldn't do that unless she completely broke his heart. So she did. Breaking hers in the process. I now understand why she didn't come back here after my great-grandfather disappeared. Because she couldn't bear to see your grandfather married to another woman. And she wouldn't tempt him to break his vows. She never married again. She was alone at twenty-five, but she never loved again. Charles was the name on her lips when she died." Maya moved around the chair and put her hands on his face, her amber eyes brimming with tears. "And Jacques will be the name on mine when it's my time."
"Maya." The lump in his throat was so large he could barely draw air. "I can fix this. We can—"
"No. Jacques, I'm so sorry. I knew this was coming, but I was selfish. I wanted as much time with you as possible. But that time is up. I signed the sale agreement for the land; the contract is in the cottage. It's yours again. Back in the family where it belongs. I have to go. Promise me you'll look after Princess and tell your grandfather that I love him."
"I could have Big Tony killed." He whispered the words, but they hung heavy between them.
She stepped back, out of his arms. "Then you would become like him. And I could never be with a man who killed another in cold blood."
"I'll wait." He wasn't going to let this go.
"You don't get it, do you, Jacques? Girls like me, we're shooting stars. Shine bright and go out in a blaze of glory. Gangs have been my life. Gangs will be my death. It's over."
She strode to the door, wrenching it open. "Etienne, I'm ready to leave."
Princess gave a forlorn bark and five minutes later they were all gone.
***
The voices around Jacques morphed into an annoying buzz. All the CEOs of his various companies were gathered in the boardroom, presenting the last quarter's earnings reports and projected forecasts for the next year. Only one company was in deficit and the failing venture, a tourism company, had been hit hard by the recent terrorist activity in Europe, so their drop in revenue was understandable. All together though, it would be another bumper year. And it meant nothing to him. What good was a fortune when the only thing he wanted he couldn't buy?
The sale deeds that Maya signed were on his desk, but that's as far as they'd gone. He hadn't yet registered the transfer with the government. The land was back in de Launay hands. It was what he wanted. Wasn't it? The responsible thing would be to forget the past couple of months and carry on as he had before. The invisible belt around his chest tightened another notch. Screw responsibility. What had it ever done for him?
His secretary put a fresh cup of coffee in front of him before placing her hand on his arm. He glanced down. He'd written Maya repeatedly across the meeting agenda. When he looked up again, all eyes were on him.
What was the point in amassing more money if he had no one to share it with? Grand-Papa was recovering now at home with a nurse in residence to keep him company and monitor his vitals. But he'd lost the spark Maya had ignited in him. They all had. And as much as it pained Jacques to admit it, his grandfather wouldn't live forever. Then Jacques would be the last de Launay.
So, he had a choice to make—continue to build his fortune and pass it on to Daniel, who didn't really need it, or some charity. Or Jacques could put on his big-boy pants and fight for what he wanted. Who he wanted. Who he loved.
Did Maya love him? Want him? Every time he closed his eyes his brain replayed the ride back from the hospital when she'd said she couldn't live like this. What had she meant? What if she only wanted his luxurious lifestyle? If he didn't have that to offer her, would she reject him? The whats and ifs were killing him, slowly destroying every vestige of sanity. How much longer could he maintain any reasonable facsimile of being in control?
He glanced down again at the agenda. Seemed his sub-conscious had already decided what to do.
He stood. "Thank you all for the hard work you've put into your presentations. I'd like to close this meeting with a final announcement." Everyone in the room froze. Could he really give all this up? Could he look himself in the mirror if he didn't at least try? "I will be reducing my role as chairman of the de Launay Group. You are all eminently capable of running these companies without my oversight, and I trust you to continue to do so in my absence."
The murmur grew to a crescendo. Finally, one of the board members asked, "Jacques, are you okay?"
"Not yet but I hope to be soon. Can anyone recommend a good tattoo artist?"