Sorry for the long wait. Hope you enjoy this chapter! New stories "The Mighty 5" and "Cross Eyed (BoyxBoy)" Check it out and vote and comment and share! Thanks. Cross Eyed is my new BoyxBoy so I hope you check it out and support my other babies! Too wasted to rre-read and clean. Maybe later.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Great Song. Inspired this chapter so bad.
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[Josh's P.O.V]
"So... You okay?" The dinner has ended awhile ago and after that , Adrian has been quiet and not even a single jabber escaped his mouth. And now we're on my room. It was one of the most scariest things that happened in my life but it is also one of the things I cherished the most. This happens rarely and it only happened to me once and now it's twice. Having dinner with my family together with my love one is just splendid and terrific. But not for Adrian. I know what he's feeling right now. The feeling of being the bad guy, but I always remind him that he's not a replacement , he's something more but I guess it'll never go away as along as someone is reminding him that. I love him and I don't think I can ever hurt him. How can I even put that phrase on his mind and make him believe me?
I believed in him when he said he's done with Tuck.
How is it different to me?
"Okay? You're asking me if I'm okay? Do I look like I'm okay? Huh?! Tell me! Am I okay? Because I. Am. Not. Super! Getting embarassed by your parents?" He caught me by surprise because of his furiousness but I just can't take him seriously like this, specially when he's looking like a smoking tomato , this side of him , I like. "Is that okay? Tell me you piece of sh—" until I just can't get enough and just kiss him. And he didn't fight at all. He plays in and goes with it like he needed me. I broke the kiss and saw him frowning. I smiled and hold both of his arms.
"Look. Will you shut up?" I said looking at him in the eye. This guy is so lost right now. But I am trying my best to understand him. My father may look like he's okay but in reality , he is not. Those things he said about Adrian are hints that he didn't like him , or me together with him. I just couldn't find a way on how he can hate Adrian. My mom probably talked to him for being rude awhile ago. But I have this weird and mix feelings with my father so it doesn't affect me. I know him , sometimes he gets impulsive and then realize what he had he done later at night then apologize in the morning. That's how my father's mind works. He didn't fire me at all , he just told me that because he was taken aback , I know him , he won't do that to me because we all know that I spent the rest of my life raising that company for my future and everyone else's. I understand his support for me that it came to the point where he forced me to marry Christine just to have a right amount of fund to pay the debts I had. But I can't. I don't love her anymore. My dreams are in my hands right now and his name is Adrian. Then I slap myself back to reality when I heard him sigh.
"He doesn't like me , does he?" He said ,smiling at me sadly. Pursing my lips , I sighed looking for the right word to say. When I didn't find the right word , I just look at him and shake my head. Smiling sadly at him. "Just as I thought. I understand."
"Yes and that won't stop the both of us from loving each other. Right?" I shook his shoulder. When he didn't answer I shake it again. "Right?"
He nods.
"I want to hear you say it."
"Right." Suddenly , he starts to look tardy and tired , his eyes are squinty and his lips are trembling again. "Uhmm , Josh , maybe I should get home." He scratch the back of his neck. "I feel tired and I just want to worry no more."
"You're not staying here?"
"No." I was expecting for a yes and I admit it made me a little disappointed.
"Who said so?"
"Me."
"What's happening to you?"
"I'm hurting. Obviously."
"You're not a replacement! Will you drop it?!" I raise my voice a little but he didn't even flinch , he just kept staring at my neck. He's not looking at me in the eye. His face was so flat. His voice are expressionless. Shit. "Are you okay?"
"I just told you I'm not. Seriously. I need. To get. Home. Now! Good bye!" He shrugs my hands off his arms and walk away. I quickly grabbed his wrist and kiss him again. But this time, he just stood there. Not welcoming my lips. What's happening to him?
"What's the problem Adrian? I can help you. Just tell me."
The he whimpers , I started panicking. "M-m-my... m-m-meds. On my bag." I quickly reach his bag and look for his meds and when I found it , I gave it to him and he quickly remove the cap and took it all. I grabbed some glass of water in my mini kitchen inside my bedroom and gave it to him.That's why he's having these mood swings again and mask-like face. His Parkinson's are attacking him again. I look at him completely shock. Then suddenly I felt pity. This is what he's dealing with himself since the start? He's dealing with this disease everyday of his life? I look down feeling bad at myself. I shouldn't force him too much. Specially stressing him because it's not good for him. Suddenly I had this feeling that I have to take care of him everyday.
"I'm sorry you have to see that." He wiped his tear and bite his lip. "Geez... I know I'm imperfect , you don't have to show it to me by looking at me with that frustrated look." He sighed and sat on my bed. What? I'm not frustrated.
"I'm not."
"Well your face said so."
"I'm sorry."
Then a minute of silence.
After a minute of silence we both heard a knock on my door and I check it and saw my dad standing at my door. I raise my brows. He never really bothers to knock at my door since I was kid. Well this is new. "My room. Now!" He grabs me , I didn't even had time to protest. I wish Adrian was okay there. I really don't know what happened awhile ago , it feels like I'm talking to a new Adrian which I hope is not because I love him for the way he is.
My dad and I reach his office and we both sat at the chair facing each other.
"What do you want?"
[Adrian's P.O.V]
Josh was grabbed outside by his father , it quite surprised me that he's not protesting. And I'm quite glad because I need a space to think. What happened awhile ago was not my intention. I don't even know what I'm saying. Words just kept coming out of my mouth and I feel like collapsing but I'm trying my best not too. I feel bad at Josh who was confuse , well if he chose to love me then he has to deal with my emotions because I am now guessing that it is not gonna be easy for the both of us this upcoming weeks. My disease kept on triggering when I don't want them too. Not to mention that look on Josh's face. Now I have this new feeling that he is just now pitying me which I hope is not. I know I'm not a replacement and what his father told me awhile ago is not true. I know he didn't mean it but the impact in me was hard. It's like getting hit by a wrecking ball. That's why I feel so down right now. I don't know what's happening to me. I'm not my cheerful self tonight. But I can't blame myself because I know that there are times when I don't even know what I'm saying.
His dad didn't like me, or at least didn't like Josh being gay. But it's a common problem that every gay couple faces. That's why I don't mind it that much. What I do mind was the replacement part but I am almost at the finish line of getting over it. Right now , what bothers me is Josh. I am worried that I may start acting weird again and just like the other guys , he'll leave me because I'm so hard to cope up with. That's what bothers me the most.
I was about to lay down in Josh's bed and stay for the night when my phone rang. I hissed and answer it. It was an unknown number.
"Hello? Who are you?"
"It's me... Tuck." I heard a light sigh.
I don't know what happened but something flickers inside of me. "Why did you call?"
"I want to have a talk with you. An appropriate one. I feel stupid last time. You know me well that I was not like that."
"You don't have to explain Tuck. Where? And where did you get my number?"
"I ran into your apartment , I thought you were there and this guy named Chad told me you were staying at Josh's house so I just asked for your number. Can we meet at the cafe near the bookstore? I can fetch you." I growled at myself , cursing Chad for just randomly giving my number to someone he doesn't know. But it left me wondering why Tuck wants to talk to me , he never really puts that much effort to things unless it's important. So I guess this one is also important.
"You can fetch me at the bus stop. I'll call you when I'm there."
I fix my things and I left a note for Josh.
[Josh's P.O.V]
"How are you?"
"Stop with the shitty introductions and move on to the intense part shall we?"
"You call yourself a writer with that foolish mouth?" My dad questioned me then decided to drop it and cleared his throat. "Are you really gay?"
"Just for Adrian. I don't like boys or guys that way except for him." I said , being straight forward. What is there to hide?
"So you're bisexual?"
"What do you know about it?" I hissed at him. Old man.
"You really forgot who I was Steve. I'm a sociologist too. Remember? So it's normal for me."
"Then why would you react that way awhile ago?"
"Because I am testing the both of you. Some couples are just in a middle of infatuation wherein they just fool themselves and hurt each other's heart. You and him are in the age of that."
"And how do you know that?"
"Because you doubt him. You say you love him but keep thinking of someone else. I know it Steve. Because you're my son and I know you better than your mother because you grew up with me because you said you wanted to be me when you grow up." He said with a soothing voice that I remember when I was kid. He use to sing sleepy songs on my sleep. He was obviously a succesful man and it is still true that I wanted to be him. He knows more than any one else. "I just want you to know that my actions awhile ago are on purpose. But I don't want you to think that I didn't accept you. I'm proud of you and every success that you achieved makes me and your mother happy. We're glad that you're making a change in this world. We're just worried that this Adrian will ruin everything. We accept you already for who you are. You're a grown man Josh. We don't care who you love but we care about you and your future. As long as we're here." For the first time again , my heart began to race faster. That words from my dad means a lot because it is true that Adrian and I are still wondering what is happening to my dad. But at least right now , he said from his mouth. He accepted Adrian and I. And that's what matters the most.
The conversation with me and dad has ended and Adrian and I can worry about nothing else. Suddenly I felt that feeling that no one can stop us.
[Adrian's P.O.V]
I waited at the bus stop and when I finally saw a car coming , I know that it was Tuck. I got inside and the first thing that I noticed was the smell of his perfume roaming inside the car. It made me remember things that I shouldn't remember. I tried to shake my head and avoid the flashbacks that my mind was creating. I remember when we were in high school , his car was less expensive than this but obvioulsy beautiful too. He would pick me up and give me a ride because we're only two blocks apart. Then whenever we reach my house he would lean on me and I'll give him a peck and he would take the chance to grab the back of my head and pull me closer to him so that it'll turn into a real kiss. Those things that I force on forgetting but I just can't. Maybe I shouldn't because it's a happy memory too. And take it as a history without afecting my relationship with Josh.
We reached the cafe and Tuck being a gentleman , always opening the door for his friends. I sat near the window because I want to see the cars pass by because the lights are beautiful. That's what I always do. Observe the city. Wondering why is that guy running like hell , that girl looking piss and that old man smiling. Every person here has their own stories , that's the reason why this city is full of opportunities , it just never stop. We're living our lives , not focusing on that thing that makes our lives stop in a moment.
"Why did you want me here?" I ask , picking my words carefully. I don't want to offend him.
"To tell you that you have changed. A lot. You're growing up. And that I appreciate you." He said , looking at me in the eyes. "To tell you that you matter in this world. That someone is fretting over you. I always tell you that." He smiled sadly. Those words made an impact in my heart that it made me blush. I bit my lip. Don't blush. Now that I am back at my senses. I realize that what I'm doing now is wrong and that talking with Tuck will just make Josh mad. Oh my glob! What am I doing here? What was I thinking?! Freaking disease!
I cleared my throat. "Thanks. And you too."
Then a minute of silence.
I sighed. I need to say this. "You know that I don't love you anymore... Right? I mean love you as in love you as my boyfriend. Right?" Right now my eyes are burning because I can feel the guilt but I keep on biting my lip to avoid that feeling. It would be embarassing if he still saw me crying until now. After all these years.
My words seem to make him surprise. "I didn't call you for that matter. Adrian. I called you because... because... " he sighed. He's lying.
"You're lying. I know you." I hold his hand and play with it. "I thought it would be the best for the both of us we break apart. Tuck. You're the one who said it. That we all have to move on and find someone."
"And I regret it! I know I made a mistake. I can't help myself seeing you with that guy whom we really don't know. He's just the guy out of nowhere, we had history , we grew up together!" He said , my first time seeing him again whinning like a kid. I admit I missed it. His immaturity haunting him again. When we were together , I was the one who's whinny but now. He is.
"But he's something. And I know that this is the coldest words ever to flow my mouth but we have to face it. We're over. Years have pass Tuck."
"I did this because I thought I can come back to you and be a better man myself." He said , looking down. His composed self are finally getting worn off. "But I guess you moved on and it's also time for me." He sighed.
"And you did. You became the better man that you've always promise for the both of us. And I'm proud of that. Tuck I'm not selfish. It hurts me to see you like this too. We can always be friends." I muttered.
"I'm still glad you came. I couldn't ask for more. Well, we're friends alright?" He said composing himself. "Can I just have my last wish? I mean this is gonna be my last time seeing you. And I wanted to see you before I go."
"Where?"
"I'm migrating to London tomorrow evening."
Suddenly my phone rang.
It's Josh.
"Where are you?"
"Josh , I'm with Tuck." A moment of silence. "We're good. Don't think of something. How's your dad?"
"Come here and I'll tell you." He said. It feels like his voice are flat in the telephone.
"Tomorrow. Can we?"
"Why not now?"
"Because I'm helping a friend. And I need to be here for him. You can have me all you want after this. Do you trust me?"
Long pause.
"Promise?"
"Promise."
"Okay. Call me when you need me. I love you and I trust you and about awhile ago , I'm sorry."
"It's my fault actually. My disease is just like a switch so you better expect it in the near future. Freaking life. Okay , I love you and I'll call you back. I'll be there tomorrow. I promise. "
I hang up. And I look at Tuck who was smiling at me.
"You love him." He nods. "I'm happy for you."
"I know." I said , smilling. "What's your request again?" I suddenly remember.
"This is my last night in New York. Please. Make it worthy. Stay the night."
With a long break. I nod. "Okay."
I trust him and he explained that he won't do what he did last time. He didn't know that I had a boyfriend that I really love and thought that he can still steal me from Josh but that's quite impossible. We both end up on his bed. Him laying on my lap while I play with his hair just like high school. I let the memory pass because if I don't let this go , it'll just haunt me. A night wouldn't kill someone. I might as well stay the night with him so that I can comfort him and fix the wounds that we made. At least he told me that he was going and I'm glad that he told me that so that I don't have to worry about him now. We talked about our memories , our classmates , our high school moments , the prom and I never had this happiness before. It's like teenage years again. But we're all grown ups , we need to be more serious.
"Yeah. When Jennifer , the one with freckless farted while she's reciting. Dead funny!" He laugh. That laugh that you know is true. That laugh that can make you laugh too. I smiled. I can feel the vibration on his chest and it reminds me of those kinky scenes that we have done. And I can't help but to feel disturbed. But that was then. I looked at my watch and it was almost 3 in the morning and I yawned.
"Don't sleep. Please. Keep talking." He said. Like he needed this.
"Okay alright. Why do you want me talking anyways?"
"Because you never really told me anything what happened. Tell me about you. How you've been after I left you. Anything. Just please , don't sleep. Keep talking , let's make this night worthy of something." I blushed. This time , I didn't hide it. "Aah! Those blush that I kept complaining about." He laughed and I kissed his forehead and he smiled like it's a natural thing to do. I wonder why I can't do these things with Josh without getting nervous. Maybe because I knew Tuck so much that I know how he'll react about things. It does takes time , Josh and I haven't even reach the one year anniversary so I'm pretty sure it's normal. We need time.
We talked and talked and when his alarm clock reached 5 am , he dropped it and looked at me seriously as he sat up straight. "I know this thing is not that much but I want you to keep it."
"What are you talking about?" Suddenly felt shallow because I suddenly missed his weight on my body. The vibration when he laughs. His smell. His hair. I feel nostalgic.
He sighed and kissed me and I didn't fight. I touched his cheek and flow with him. It's not a kind of kiss that is lust , but a comforting kiss. He stopped and smiled at me. I don't know why he's so happy , all through out the conversation , he's always smilling. I wonder.
"Happy Birthday."
And he gave me his gift. It's a locket. With the picture of me and him.
"When you feel down and you have no one to talk to. Just stare at it and...an-and...maybe remember me."he said shaky as he looks down. "Thank you. Adrian. You'll always have a place in my heart."
I can't help but shed a tear , I wish I can love him but I just can't. But there's one thing more that bothers me. I can't believe that I forgot it's my birthday.
It's my birthday....
Horley Shites!
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[A/N:]
I bet this chapter gave you butterflies and some nostalgic feelings. I am so sorry if my updates are too slow in this one , the reason why is because I want to make it long like when I update , I want it to be a blast and I don't want you guys to be disappointed. Omygod I can feel the finish line already. Now we have a debate. What goes first? PREQUEL OR SEQUEL? OMG I'm making a trilogy.