I didn't know where I was.
There was a putrid scent of decay in the air, along with a kind of suffocating heat. I could feel... well, I couldn't really feel anything.
My body felt limitless in an incomprehensible way, yet somehow I managed to rise to my feet.
But I didn't exactly have feet.
Looking down, it appeared that I didn't have anything.
Around me was a brown, foggy haze. It swirled around me like a terrifying smoke. The wispy tendrils were curling around my consciousness, they brought a strange warmth with them, it wasn't exactly pleasant.
I don't know how long I spent there, but it seemed like an eternity.
My mind was empty, I had no desire to think of who I was, before I was here.
I had the strangest sensation of a name on the tip of my tongue, but it seemed unimportant.
Slowly, slowly, I felt the ghost-like warmth recede. I felt a gust of soft wind fan across my face like a gentle breath.
With the breath of fresh air, came a cooling feeling that I felt spread across my skin, wrapping itself around my body like a blanket. I could finally feel the individual stretches of my body.
There was some kind of bright light in the distance, tinged with the lightest blue.
The light came towards me, growing in a kind of brilliance that I shouldn't have been able to look at.
As the light came forward, the land around me became bathed in a beautiful, moonlight.
Almost immediately, the fog completely receded, and around me I saw what I could only comprehend as a cloud-like material.
The great light in front of me faded enough for a figure to become visible.
She was tall, with long limbs that seemed to shimmer in a way that seemed backwards, as though they were emitting light, rather than reflecting.
She had cool blue eyes with flecks of silver within them, and long locks of dark brown hair that seemed to move on its own.
I found myself staring at the woman, in shock and awe.
It was almost like looking in a mirror.
I looked down at myself, and saw the lengths of my hair falling onto my shoulders, a dark, identical brown, that had begun to contain a bit of bounce, like it was full of life.
Looking back at her, I saw my own eyes staring back at me.
I was not tall like this woman... but our resemblance was uncanny.
"Charlotte." She said in a welcoming voice, she had a rich voice that bounced towards me with a smoothness that no real voice held.
I didn't reply, I just kept staring, uncertain. Who was this woman? Where was I?
"I'm sure that this is all very confusing for you." She continued, her voice sending melodious tones through this strange place.
"You could say that." I replied, in a voice that didn't sound like my own. It was too smooth, too much like this woman's voice. "Who are you?"
She sent me a gentle smile, that instantly sent a calming sensation through my limbs.
"I'm your mother." She told me. I felt inclined to believe her, though there was a nagging sensation at the back of my mind.
"I have a mother." I replied. I knew it was true.
"Yes," She told me, "You have a birth mother, who was a part of Beta Stephan's pack."
"You know about his pack?" I asked, still wondering who this woman was.
"Yes. I spoke to Stephan some time ago, it must have been nineteen years now. When you were born. I told him what you were, what you would become. Unfortunately for me, he misunderstood what I was saying. He is of course, right about some of the things he told you. Wrong about other things. I could not continue to communicate with him, because he no longer worshipped my image, instead, he worshipped yours."
I stared at her for a moment. "Who are you." I repeated, in a dull tone.
She smiled graciously, "You would best know me as the moon goddess."
Looking at her now, I could see it. The way her very essence seemed to emit moonlight, the overly perfected body, voice, everything. This woman practically screamed goddess, why had I ever been considered to be like her?
"I don't understand." I said, frowning, though this world didn't seem to allow frowning, instead I felt my face fall into a neutral expression.
"I suppose I should start from the beginning." She said, gazing to her left. "I enjoy my role as moon goddess, I like to see mates find each other, I like to watch as they fall in love. Of course that's not my only job, but it is, by far, the most interesting. I do not have a mate, you know. But even so, I fell in love. With a man named Henry Benson."
My eyes widened, my father?
"Yes, that's the one." She nodded gracefully. "Henry's true mate was killed when she was younger. Normally, I would simply pair him with another whose mate had been lost before they met... but I couldn't help myself. I had to watch him for a while... to figure out who to pair him with. And instead, I grew to love him. I suppose it must be difficult for you to understand that, he neglected you as his child. That's my fault. I brought him to this place often... too often. This place is not suitable for mortals. It is too... loving. Eventually, it sucks the love out of you. Because of who I am, he had no choice but to fall for me too. By the time I realised that he was losing his ability to love, it was too late."
She paused, and made a motion as though to wipe a tear from her eye. "I felt immensely guilty, and I broke everything off immediately. I mated him with the first female wolf available, your birth mother. It was easy to forget about me once he met his mate. What I did not anticipate, however, was the pregnancy. You see, Charlotte, we goddess' cannot have children. Because we are not truly alive."
"We." I stated.
She smiled and continued. "I am not alive, my body cannot change in the way that others can. Yet somehow, a speck of life was born. Not in me, in your father. I did not think such a thing was possible, but when he mated with your mother, the child was transferred somehow. You are familiar with the future Charlotte, so I am sure you can understand what I mean when I say that I saw what the child was to become. Somehow, you were mine. My own child, half god, half werewolf. I was not entirely sure what would become of you, but I tried my best to set out a good life for you, with Beta Stephan. Unfortunately it backfired, I did not anticipate your alpha, Derek, reacting the way he did. I am sure if he knew the truth, things would be different."
"But... Liam's father cursed me." I said, my eyebrows creasing together.
She shook her head, "Merely a coincidence. I had already chosen Liam for you. I knew that your powers would show eventually, I had seen what would become of you."
I nodded weakly, "But I didn't start seeing the future til I was 6."
A small smile tugged at the corner of her lips. "Are you sure about that, Charlotte? Children have minds that are susceptible, for the first years of your life, I hid the torture from you. I bypassed the barriers of your mind so that you did not have to see it. By the time you were six your mind had grown too strong for me to do much. Though I suppose you remember your visions clarifying as you grew older, that was because I got less and less control as years went by. I sheltered you from it as much as possible, but there was only so much that I could do."
I felt my blood run cold, all along, it had been within me.
"Beta Stephan had remembered one thing, that you would awaken. Though his details were incorrect. You could only become a true goddess when you were a true wolf. You had to be fully mated in order to be a true wolf. That is why you are here now, weeks after mating."
"Weeks?" I exclaimed in shock.
"One must go through an awful lot to become a goddess, Charlotte. These things take time." She told me, her eyes glowing warmly.
"And what does that mean for me? For my mate." I asked, cautiously.
"That, I can't tell you. I am afraid that you will have to figure it out for yourself. I have helped you as much as I can up until this stage, but as you are now a goddess, I cannot interfere. I suppose it is a choice for you to make, where you go."
"Where I go?"
"You can stay here, or you can return to the wolves." She told me.
I shook my head, "I need to be with Liam."
She nodded, "I understand. Perhaps it shall prove advantageous to have a god among the wolves."
"I don't understand how I can be a goddess, all I can do is see the future." I said, my voice low.
"You are familiar with the changes of a wolf to a mated wolf, yes? The wolf within becomes stronger... the bond between wolf and human grows. The mate bond should not be underestimated. I cannot tell you what will become of the goddess within you, because I do not know myself. But I will be watching, Charlotte. You must make time to come and see me, we have spent many years apart."
I was still in shock. The moon goddess, my mother... It was bizarre. But even so, the urge to return to Liam was overwhelming.
"But you said, if I come here too often, I'll lose the ability to love." I asked.
She nodded, "Yes, but you Charlotte, are not a mortal. You thrive here."
I looked away from her, across the endless world that we stood in. "How will I get back?"
She smiled at me as though pleased, "You shall find that there is more knowledge within you than was previously possible Charlotte, look within yourself, and you shall know exactly how to return to your mate."
There was so much more that I wanted to ask, but if what she was saying was true, then I would be back here somehow. There was plenty of time.
"Thank you, mother." I whispered, and she smiled at me, but I was already leaving.
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My eyes fluttered open, to the open forest.
I was lying on the ground on my back, silky blades of grass slid through my hands, that clenched the ground. The grass felt unbelievable... so smooth, it was as though I could feel a life force within it.
Every single blade was different... each felt slightly different, a minuscule difference in texture... yet somehow I could feel their individual structures.
Taking a deep breath, I smelt the wood-like air around me, though there was no sense of relief that came with breathing in.
Feeling impossibly strong, I stood up, exerting no effort, my body felt weightless.
Standing, I felt a small waterfall of petals cascade to the ground, and I noticed that I had been covered in small, pretty flowers.
Reaching up, I felt the interwoven strands of stems wrapped around the crown of my head, like a tiara.
Strangely, I was back to wearing the dress I had been given as a goddess, only it had since been cleaned and mended.
I reached up to take the crown off of my head, and felt my hair, it felt thicker, rejuvenated, less like the hair I was used to, and more like the stunning curls of my... mother.
Staring at the flower-crown in my hands, the moment that I thought that I wanted to know what had happened for me to end up here, lying on the ground, I was transported.
There was something so clean about the transition. I was still stood in the forest, holding my non-existent weight, yet at the same time I was somewhere else.
I was in a white-washed doctors room, a bed much grander than any hospital-bed I had ever seen was erected in the middle of the room.
I saw my own body lying there, looking oddly serene.
"Alpha, I am so sorry. There doesn't appear to be a cause... her body is completely shut down. Her heart does not beat, there are no brainwaves. Her skin is cold, and hard. I do not believe there is a thing I can do. There is nothing wrong with her. Yet she is gone." The doctor that I hadn't noticed was stood there, looking apologetic.
"There must be something." I heard Liam's voice cry out as I turned to face him, his eyes were red, his expression maddened. "She can't be gone. She can't be! I should have listened! They said that she shouldn't be marked, why did I not listen!"
Liam was breaking down, his legs gave way beneath him and he collapsed forwards, onto the bed, his arms wound tight around my body as his own body shuddered, though he did not cry.
"Please Charlotte, please don't be dead."
But even I could see that this body was not alive. Eventually, he put his arms underneath my body and lifted me up, he carried me from the room and outside.
It was as though the entire pack was waiting there, all anxious.
Several wails broke out when it became clear that I was dead.
Completely motionless, it was hard to believe that I wasn't.
Time seemed to speed forward, and then I was watching Liam lay me down on the very spot that I was still standing, he placed me on my back, and stood before me, watching as some of the pack females came by and placed the flowers across me, and wound the stems of my crown before placing it on my head.
Liam stayed, watching, long after the sky had turned dark, and then light, before turning dark again.
He didn't seem to notice that he wasn't sleeping.
He was just watching, as though waiting for me to wake up.
Eventually, his beta, Clark, came by and spoke to him.
Liam was neglecting the pack, he had things to sort out. It was too late to do anything.
The second of my sight slowly faded, until I was looking only at the same forest, but on my own.
I had to find him. He thought I was dead.
I didn't bother to shake the rest of the petals off of me, all that was on my mind was that I had to find Liam.
He needed to see me.
He needed to know that I was alive.
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So sorry for the pretty late update! I've just been pretty swamped with exams and haven't had much spare time. Once my exams are done I still have to go to school so my update schedule probably isn't going to get much better until late July when I'm off for the summer.
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Thanks!