According to the soldiers I saw everyday, I was still a threat.
Sure, I had forgotten and, sure, I was made anew, but that wasn't enough for their security. I had found out so many secrets that they didn't want me to find out, and they were afraid that if I ever found out again, I would ruin them forever. But I'm not stupid, and I'm definitely no heroine in some dystopian novel. I keep quiet and I get to live with my three children merrily. If I spoke up, there was a guarantee that they wouldn't let me forget this time; they would never let me come back.
See, the way I saw Earth Resides was different from everyone else. That's still the same thought I have now, just a little bit different. Before, I thought of it as this new place to explore. I wouldn't let what happen to Sandrayik ever happen again, but I would see more than everyone else. Now, I think of Earth Resides as someplace where I am not aloud to be myself. That would get me into too much trouble. I can't let what happen to Sandrayik happen again, and I won't let it.
I see everything differently now, and I am a whole different person. I know all I need to know, I just can not share it with the rest of the world here on Earth Resides. Now I'm just waiting for someone else to find out. Then maybe I do not have to live in fear anymore.
Everyday I wake up, and dread the morning that will lead into the rest of the day until I fall asleep once more. I am no longer me, and who the hell knows what is happening to other people? I realized, once, that I am just like the new Asphero. I am completely different, even if I do not want to admit it. But what can I do? Wait? Do nothing? I assume that's what I have to do.
Till then, till the day that someone decides to do something, I guess I will do what I have been doing for the past nine years. Pretend I know nothing and hope for the best. I do not have to explore anymore because I have seen all that needs to be seen, and have done more than a first class soldier. I will wait till the day comes where I can be free, but for now, I am fine.
But I'm not. I'm never fine. I can't and I don't want to keep living in fear. This is not the life I want my children to grow up in, not the one I want my brother to be a part of, or for Lendich to have to always be on his guard. Anything can change in a second. I can make a change in a second. I don't know how yet, but the truth needs to be told, no matter the consequence. The government is ruling us the way they see fits, not the way that will better us all. I only know a few secrets, but there are still many more to discover. Why can you only get a room once you're married? Why is so much of the ship out of bounds? What other secrets are they hiding underneath our feet? I know what needs to be done, and I know how to do it. So for me, there will be no more exploring. No more deaths. Just the truth.