Almost Is Never Enough
Chapter 31
Tom, Max, and Siva walked into the room. "Nathan left the hospital. He didn't say much, he just drove away." Max said.
You bit your lip. "Poor Nath..." You whispered.
"He'll be fine, might just need time by himself is all," Tom said.
Max came over to you and played with your ear. You didn't even resist him this time. All of your exhaustion came rushing back to you. "Something's wrong...you're letting me play with your ear. You never let me play with your ear!" Max said, a little worried.
"I'm just a little t-" you managed to say before half-fainting, half-falling asleep in Jay's arms.
"Love! Are you okay? Love?!" Jay screamed, very worried as he tried shaking you awake. You didn't wake up.
The blood loss, plus all of this stress had finally caught up with you. "GET HER A DOCTOR!!!" Jay yelled at the three of them. Max went to get a doctor as Tom filled up a cup of water for you. He splashed some on your face. You barely fluttered your eyes open, but quickly shut them again.
"...Jay?" You whispered weakly.
"Yes love?" He asked, really worried. You didn't respond, you just rested in his arms, silent to everyone. "LOVE!!!" Jay screamed.
"Please stop screaming," you whispered.
"...sorry," Jay said, feeling bad. "What's wrong?" He asked.
"I-I don't know..." You said weakly.
The doctor walked into the room and Siva informed him on what just happened. He noticed you were awake. "Miss...are you okay?" The doctor asked.
"Uhhh I think, I'm just a little unsteady still from the blood loss I guess." You said.
"Should I get a nurse to get you some food or water?" The doctor asked.
"Yes please," Jay answered for you. The doctor left the room, leaving you five alone. "Are you sure you're okay baby?" Jay asked you.
"Yes Jay. I'm fine." You said.
"God I thought Jay was going to have a heart attack," Siva said.
"I just get nervous sometimes, sorry," Jay said.
"Now you know how we felt," Tom mumbled.
Jay instantly felt guilty about everything he had done. "...I-I'm sorry," Jay said.
You just hugged him. It was time for him to talk to his mates about this. "You have to tell them," you whispered in Jay's ear, quiet enough so only he could hear.
He nodded subtly. "I have to tell you boys something," he said.
"What is it mate?" They asked.
"When I was trying to kill myself here...something crossed my mind." Jay started to say.
"What was it?" Tom asked.
"That it was all over. That I ruined my reputation, career, your guys' careers, and my chance with her," Jay said to them.
"Mate, you know that's not true," Tom said. "It'll never be true. You haven't ruined anything. I don't know if you've noticed, but our fans are loyal. They'll stick by you through anything."
"Then explain to me that if they're so loyal, why'd they give me so much hate and never even apologize for it?" Jay asked.
"Oh, they never apologized?!" Tom practically shouted. He grabbed Jay's arm and dragged him out the door, where there were twice as many gifts now.
"Who brought these here?" Jay asked them.
"The fans. Some of the ones that live in the area must've heard through the press where the hospital is. Thats only from the fans in this area. " Tom said.
Siva then unlocked his phone and went on twitter. "#WeAreYourStrengthJay was trending. Been number 1 world wide for 3 hours." Siva said.
"Oh my god...they did all of this?" Jay asked.
"Yes, Jay. They'll always forgive you. And when they heard how you reacted to the hate, they went insane. There are so many videos dedicated to you. They love you, Jay," Max said.
"Well what about you?" Jay asked, turning around to face you. "Aren't you getting the hate?"
You bit your lip before answering, "Yes. I still am. But that doesn't matter. It's a lot less now. Jay, there are twitter accounts and fan pages dedicated to just telling you everyday to hold on, that they love you."
"So you're saying that if we tell the fans we're together...they'll just be okay with it?" Jay asked.
"It's never that easy, Jay. Never. But what I'm saying is that they really love you. And they'll eventually get over this whole love triangle drama thing." You said.
"Okay..." Jay said, smiling. He leaned in and kissed you quickly as you all went back into his room before the nurse came. She gave you the food and juice and you thanked her.
*Meanwhile back with Nareesha and Kelsey*
They just pulled up when they saw smoke coming from the back of the flat. "Oh my god! Something's on fire!" Kelsey yelled as they both ran out to the back of the flat.
They searched everywhere for Nathan before eventually finding him. "What the hell is going on? What was on fire?" Kelsey yelled at him, pointing to the ashes on the ground.
"N-nothing," he said, trying to hide the part of the picture he hadn't burned yet.
"Nathan...what's going on?" Nareesha asked softly, approaching him. He handed it over and she saw that it was the photo of you and Nathan. She flipped it over and saw the remnants of some sort of writing on the back. "...what love was...but almost is never?" Nareesha asked him, confused.
"We almost knew what love was...but almost is never enough." Nathan whispered.
"Oh god...Nathan," Kelsey said, giving him a hug. Nareesha hugged him too and she felt a tear fall onto her arm.
"It'll be okay Nath, it always works out in the end," Nareesha said.
"Since when? This isn't a fairytale, Nareesha." He said.
"We know Nath, it's just that maybe you'll find someone who makes you even happier..." Nareesha said with a smile.
"Doubt it. You girls don't understand how much I love her." He whispered.
"We do Nathan, trust us we do. It's just that I don't think she's going to change her mind..." Kelsey said.
"I was going to propose!" He said. "Why did Jay have to fuck this up for me?!"
"It's not his fault!" Kelsey spat at him. "And it's not her fault either. Do you realize this was absolutely the hardest decision of her life?!"
"Of course I do, Kelsey!" Nathan said sassily. "But she was my girl. That's like crossing a line. 'Oh yeah mate I know you're going to propose, but fuck it. I'm going to steal the love of your life!' How is that even fair?"
"Nobody knew you were going to propose until you texted Tom while you were away!" Nareesha yelled at him. "Jay was hiding the fact that he loved her the minute they met, he was going to tell her, but you beat him to it. He had to tell her eventually because it was killing him inside!" Nathan turned away from them, bursting out into tears.
"Honestly Nath, what the hell is wrong with you?" Kelsey asked.
"I don't know I just...I've lost her for good." Nathan whispered.
"Well you can't blame Jay for that." Kelsey said.
"I know I can't. I guess I just feel like shit because after the amazing relationship we had, and the amazing engagement we could've had, she just threw it all away. And I meant it every single time I said I loved her. I don't think I'll ever be able to say 'I love you' ever again." Nathan said.
"Nathan, yes you will! You will find someone who makes you happy, someone you'll spend the rest of your life with because you are one of the best guys I've ever met. Sure it may not be her, but you'll find someone. I promise," Nareesha said.
"But it is her. You should know that feeling, when you feel as if you've met your match. The same thing you feel with Siva, I feel with her!" Nathan said, exasperated.
"Oh Nathan," Nareesha said hugging him.
He cried into her shoulder. "You'll never understand just how much this hurts. I can't even stand seeing them together. It kills me."
"It's okay Nath, that's normal. Just wait it out and see if they'll work. They might not for all we know!" Kelsey said.
"But then Jay would be broken hearted." Nathan sobbed.
"And you are now!" Kelsey said. "She still has the ring and she hasn't said no so there's still a chance for you two!"
"Is there really?" Nathan said, "I've seen the way she looks at him. She looks at him like I look at her. Besides, stop being fake with me. I know you wanted them to end up together. I know everyone in the house did except for maybe Tom. Thanks for that." He said sarcastically.
"Nathan, we wanted them together because Jay was so far into his suicidal thoughts we honestly thought we were going to lose him. She's the only one that can help him and we thought that if they were together then he wouldn't die on us," Kelsey said, her eyes welling up with tears.
"What if I was suicidal then? I don't mean to sound selfish, but just because I like living I don't get the love of my life???" Nathan asked.
"Nathan, you know we didn't mean it like that." Nareesha said.
"But still! It doesn't seem fair! She kept saying she wanted to be his miracle. She's my miracle too, but no one cares because I'm not going to kill myself," he said, crying.
"But she can't be both of your miracles, Nathan! It doesn't work like that! I wish it did, but it doesn't. I just can't stand seeing you upset like this." Nareesha said, trying to calm him down. Nathan turned away from her and ran away.
He sat down and put his head in his between his knees, sobbing quietly. Nareesha and Kelsey walked quietly over to him. He didn't know they were there though. "I'm just so in love with you I know there's no turning back." He whispered between sobs. "It's just game over now. I might as well be like Jay and kill myself..." Nathan whispered, his tears increasing as he stayed there.
"Nathan no. No Nathan, no. Nathan, we all love you so much, the fans love you, you have so much ahead of you, and you are worth it. Nathan please don't, we love you," Nareesha said, hugging him.
"But it's not worth living life if the girl I love doesn't love me back. It's not worth it, I'm not worth anything to her anymore. Nothing." Nathan said, not even looking at Nareesha, just staring into the distance where he could faintly see the hospital. "I'd probably just make her decision easier if I killed myself," he said bitterly.
"No Nathan!!! Have you even seen what attempting it could do?!? Look at what happened to Jay, what happened to her!!! They almost died and you figure you want to go out the same way?!? Are you insane?!?" Nareesha yelled at him, she never yelled at anyone, especially like this.
"Maybe I am." Nathan whispered, "She's driven me crazy with loving her. But I wouldn't take it back for the world."
"Nathan..." Kelsey started to say, "I just don't know if we can change her mind though. It would take everything and then some and I still don't know if it'll work."
The thought of you never being his again made him break out into sobs. Nareesha and Kelsey hugged him until they subsided. "Shhh Nath. How about I make you some tea and we sit on the couch and talk? It doesn't have to be about this. Let's just talk," Nareesha said soothingly.
"I hate tea. It reminds me too much of her." Nathan said, totally unlike himself.
"What do you mean you hate tea?" Kelsey asked, eyes widening.
Nathan turned to face her. "I hate tea." He said, an angry tone in his voice.
"Nathan, you've got to be kidding me," Kelsey said.
"I'm not." Nathan said dismissively. Kelsey and Nareesha exchanged a look. He was honestly so broken he wouldn't even have tea, it was absolutely abnormal.
Nareesha hugged him. "How could you be so broken?" She mumbled.
Kelsey excused herself to use the bathroom. She was actually going to let Tom know about how bad Nathan was.
"Because I'm lost without her." Nathan said, like it was that simple.
*Meanwhile with Kelsey*
"Tom, Nathan is bad, like really bad. He burned the picture of them, he was starting to get thoughts of killing himself, he refused to have any tea, he's broken." Kelsey said.
"So should I come down there with the lads?" Tom asked.
"Yeah," Kelsey said, "I'm really worried."
"Should I bring them down there too? You know, her and Jay?" Tom asked.
"I don't think that would be wise..." Kelsey said.
"Okay be there soon. Bye love." Tom said.
"Bye Tomtom." Kelsey said back before hanging up.
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