Chapter 11: Wrecked Heart
It was already night and only the light from the lamp could make me see through the darkness of my cabin. It was actually enough since the room was smaller than the ordinary ones I usually see. There's a single little window in the room that was the size of a book. I tried to open it and was welcomed by the cool breeze coming from the outside. The sea was calm but there were no stars to light up the night. I could also hear some screams or singings far behind my door which if I would open; my tiny box of peace would be shattered. The pirates were probably celebrating outside. Despite of too many deaths I witnessed today, they could still celebrate? This is definitely a dark world.
A knock on the door made me jump from sitting on my bed. Instead of walking towards it to open, I decided it's more convenient to just stare at it. I don't really want to talk with any pirates right now but I bet, the door would just open whether I desire it or not. Another knock came and when I didn't do anything about it, was followed by several knocks. When I was sure it wouldn't stop unless I respond, I stood up and opened it. And just like what I thought, the noise overwhelmed the silence of my room and I saw the gigantic bulky man with Erasmus before. He had a tray in his hands with glass of water, bread and fish. I just had the same food this afternoon. I wanted to complain but I realized that I was a captive in a pirate ship.
"Thank you." I said as I received my dinner.
He didn't say anything. Instead, he just turned his back and walked away.
No talking to pirates then. I thought and shut the door. But before I was able to close it, a running ball of grey furry meat entered fast and rested on my desk. I looked at it and met a pair of slit blue eyes.
"Oh, you pretty little thing. How could you live in this floating hell all this time?" I said and walked towards it. It purred against my hand when I touched it.
"Well, Mister Cat, let's talk later after I'm done with my dinner." I said happily as I found a new friend. I had Argos back home as my pet. These animals were the reasons why I'm still sane right now. Yes, talking with animals and still feel sane.
I started eating my dinner and let the cat watched me. When I was done, I gave him the fish bones and he ate it hungrily. He must have an owner. Maybe, Erasmus? If someone has a pet and treating it good, then I could say the owner is a good person. And that would probably be Erasmus. He's the only one who showed kindness to me ever since I boarded this ship.
The cat walked towards the door when it was finished eating my leftovers. It looked at me as if it was asking for me to open it with its bluish eyes. I opened the door for him and he walked out of my room gracefully. It stopped on its track and stared back at me before walking again. It stopped in the middle of the hallway and looked back. That's when I decided to close the door of my room and followed it. The cat was walking towards the deck and I could feel now the coldness of the wind. Maybe this is a bad idea after all. Who knows if the cat is just a ghost? Maybe it was an evil sea creature pretending to be a cat and was planning to allure me to jump to the sea.
I made a step back but it made a soft meow before disappearing into the deck. Sighing loudly, I decided to go after it. The night was quite cold that it almost froze my bones from moving forward. I hugged myself with my both arms as I searched for the grey cat. I saw it perched on the railing eyeing me like it was there waiting for me. I walked faster towards it afraid that it might fall if it lost its balance.
"Don't move." I said as if it understood me. But before I could even lay my hands on him, it snarled and jumped off to the other direction. I was appalled by the change of its attitude and kept my hands to myself as I watched it disappear into the darkness.
"So you're its new meat." A voice from the dark said.
My eyes narrowed into a squint as I try to see the owner of the voice. I couldn't keep my heart from beating faster than it should. I knew that voice so well.
"I'm not anyone's meat." I answered silently. I was unsure of how I should react to his presence this time. Earlier this morning, I was just begging for him to save my life. I was rejected and I almost accepted death. I was defeated. A lady like me would have no face to show him. I turned to look at the dark sea as I heard his steps coming nearer before it stopped.
"You shouldn't adore that cat. It only has a murderous mind." He said. I was now aware that he's few meters away from me.
"So as the pirates," My words are coated with bitterness.
"If you knew that so well, then why were you sailing on a pirate ship?" he asked. The coldness of his tone matched the icy night.
"I was kidnapped." It sounded like I was defending myself. He said it like everything happened was with my consent.
"Your land has a huge population. Why would they choose to take you?" I fell silent as I looked for the answers in my mind as to why they chose me. I was sleeping in my room when the outbreak happened. The pirates broke through the window and took me away. It was probably because I went to that jail to see them. Maybe if they didn't see my face, they wouldn't be interested on me.
"It was our land." I suddenly said. How could he address the continent like he never belonged in there?
"I have the vastness of the sea as my territory."
"You are Lord Threy Weston of the family in the West." I insisted.
He made no answer. Instead, he took few steps closer causing me to make a step back. When he didn't stop from walking towards me, I exclaimed, "Don't come near me."
That's when he stopped on his track. The signalling lights are now showing his face. He showed no emotion. If he felt anything about me insisting that he belonged to the continent, it was completely obscured.
However, if he's completely masked in this situation, my heart had its way of trying to escape its cage. Its rapid beating could almost make me feel dizzy and weak. Before I knew it, I was already breathing heavily. Uh, this muscular organ could betray me at the most inappropriate times.
"You must forget about Threy Weston. That's the only help you could do to yourself. You should have forgotten him a long time ago." He said.
I almost laughed at him. Forget him? I let out a short chuckle until it faded from my lips. Yes. Maybe forgetting could make things right the way it was before. If it was that easy then there will be no tangled fate now. If it's that simple then I wouldn't be here at this moment. We wouldn't be here in this pirate ship. But it wasn't.
"How could you ask me of something you can't even do?" I asked. The pain was visible in my voice. I was always hopeful. People denied his existence but I refused to do it. And now he's telling me that I should have forgotten about him. It was like telling me that I wasted most of my time.
He leaned towards the railing and stared at the dark. "Do you like where you are now?" he asked.
"No," I said shaking my head slowly. And now he's asking if I like the things that happened to me. "This is hell. We can go back. You can always go back to Westons." I said softly trying to put persuasion in my voice.
But when he turned to me with those cold eyes, I already knew the answer. "I have to find her." He said it like it was the reason why he's here all this time. And maybe it really was.
"Is she worth it? Is she worth all of this?" The nervousness I felt of seeing him turned into little pricks of pain to my chest. I almost wanted to lie on the wooden floor because of the sudden heaviness I felt.
I braced myself for the answer I already know. "Yes." He answered. It was a hammer that shattered my little hopes.
I forced a smile at him and said, "If you say so." And without saying more than that, I turned my back to him and waked back towards my cabin. I shouldn't have asked. I shouldn't have hoped. I shouldn't even let myself felt this pain. But I did.