Remember what I said yesterday about never wanting to be this close with anyone? Well, I was now starting to believe Chris could read minds. You see, Chris thought it would be an amazing idea to lock us in our trailers. So, I was stuck with all the girls in a tiny tin can and no way out… *Sigh* Excuse me for a moment. If you need me, I’ll be in the corner, rolled up in the fetal position, having a panic attack.
"They've got to open the door right?" Gwen asked. She sounded even more afraid than I was. "I have claustrophobia!" Oh, that would explain it.
"Oh boo hoo! This trailer is as tight as the space between Lindsay's ears," Heather said.
"Awww. Thank you!" Lindsay sounded so sincere. I rolled my eyes. How can someone be so stupid that they don’t even know when they are being insulted.
Gwen gasped, "UP THERE!" She pointed up.
"Yeah, there's a roof up there. What do we do? Use Heather's hard head to break it?" I asked, half serious.
She ignored it, "There's an air vent! Maybe one of us could squeeze through it!"
All eyes went on Heather. "What?" Heather asked.
"Only the toothpick-y of us could fit thru! I’m talking model thin!” Gwen kissed up. “I mean truly the most sleek of us would want to show off her sleekness!"
Heather looked very confident for the first time since she got her head shaved. “For once, I agree with you, I’ll do it." I cupped my hand on one side and LeShawna did the same on the other. Heather grabbed our shoulders and we gave her a boast. She undid the air vent and LeShawna and I practically threw her over.
“Sometimes I really wish I was one of the guys," Leshawna said.
I laughed. “For once I don’t. The guys are too stupid, they probably are trying to break down the door with Harold’s head.”
Heather unlocked our door and opened it. As if to confirm my theory, the guys door broke and they all ran out at once. “Hope you all enjoyed your first taste of the goo-log!" Chris said walking around in a cops costume. Um? What is that? The term sounded familiar…
"Goolog. I didn't get any goolog!" Lindsay whined.
"Well prepare for it to get a whole lot worse because today is prison flick day!" Chris yelled and we all moaned.
“At least we have two people who have been to prison,” Heather didn’t sound to excited.
I sneered, “I’ve only been twice, and I didn’t stay for long the second time.”
“Yeah, that and it was only juvenile detention,” Duncan pointed out. “Don’t get too excited.
"Ah, prison! The confinement! The claustrophobia! The vial nasty food ! You're always looking over your shoulder ‘cause Mr. Killer dude wants to cut ya for taking the last tator tot, and no matter how digging out spoonfuls of dirt year after year there's no escape!" Chris was making prison sound even more glorious than it is.
"In other words, this whole set," I pointed out. That got a couple of smiles.
Chris nodded, "Unless you get voted off."
Wait, prison, claustrophobia, no escape, voted out… I looked over at Gwen. “Did he plan this?” I mouthed. She shrugged and looked nervous. I went to the confessional./”I know about Gwen’s deal with the Grip because she told me last night. My question is, did Chris purposefully do this? Or did he just happen to pick a challenge that had Gwen’s top 3 fears?”/
We all got changed and we walked to the challenge site. "Lockdown people! Let’s get this challenge started. Teams pick your prisoner and Chef, I mean, warden, lock ‘em up!" Chris said.
It wasn’t to hard to decide who would go for the Grips. “Remember when lindsay locked herself in the bathroom?" Heather suggested. She was my first thought as well.
“She lost it!” Gwen gasped.
I nodded and laughed at the memory. “She ate everyones shampoos thinking they were magic potions and then barfed on herself.”
“She'll crack for sure!" Duncan agreed. For once, our team didn’t agrue, Lindsay seemed like an easy pick.
“Choices? Gaffers?" Chris asked
"Lindsay!" Heather said pointing at her.
"Yay! I win!" Lindsay said.
"Grips now this is a big choice thinking of losers like yourselves!" Chris said.
“Good luck,” I breathed in Gwen’s ear. She looked as though she forgot about the deal she made 2 days ago.
"Oh, we shouldn’t have any trouble beating Gwen!" Beth said winking at Gwen. Gwen groaned..
"Todays first challenge is the prison chow-llenge!" chris said showing some terrible food. “Each chef team makes the most nastiest barf infested food they can.” So I’ll just model it after Chef’s food. “Gwen and Lindsay has to hold down as much as they can. Which ever one power hurls first loses!" Chef put lindsay and gwen in cages.“I’m innocent I tell you! Innocent!” Lindsay whined as she was being thrown in the cage.
The stuff they had out was so gross. Lindsay almost barfed just looking at it. “The reward better be worth it,” Gwen said. What reward? You’re going to try and be voted off, remember? Gwen seemed to be more content with the idea of being voted off. I guess she realized she wouldn’t have to deal with people anymore. And she won last season.
“Have I ever let you down?” Chris asked. I was about to answer, but he figured it out himself. “Wait, scratch that! Anyway, the winning team gets this!" Chris held a shovel up.
“What are we supposed to do with a shovel?” Lindsay asked.
Chris didn’t answer. “Prisoners ready? Anndddd…. culinate!”
LeShawna got a bucket of dirt and threw it in the bowl. He threw some roaches into a bowl of what I think was dirt. Harold came over with some anchovy paste and threw in horse lips.
Okay, I’m seriously wondering why we have this stuff here. “Where did you get these things?” LeShawna asked for me.
Harold rolled his eyes. “Their obviously imported. Gosh!”
We walked away to get more things. I got some toilet water and threw it in for a nice soupy lunch. I wasn’t going to mention what the Grips put in theirs, but let me tell you, I nearly vomited.
“Are you maggots ready?!” Chris said after Lindsay and Gwen got their “breakfast”. “You have one minute to eat that chow. And, dig in!”
They started to eat while I started to throw up. What Gwen had to eat was just…. It was worse than ours, and Harold threw in fish guts and toenail clippings! Ugh! While I’m about to lost my lunch, I should probably tell you what Gwen had in hers: dry hair, dandruff, spit, and live maggots. *Gags*
Somehow, Gwen didn’t barf after the first bite! Lindsay looked like it was the best thing she ever ate. “Ohh! It’s delicious.” I sighed. I should have know DJ would have done something to make it taste edible. Lindsay scarfed her down. I didn’t think she could eat that much.
Gwen forced herself to eat more. She was about to blow. She swallowed something that didn’t go down and spit it up. Beth’s retainer landed inches away from her feet. Oh, no. She didn’t seriously just put Beth’s retainer… Oh man, I think I’m going to barf! Nope, when Beth put in in her mouth is when I was about to hurl.
I apparently didn’t need too. Lindsay took care of that for me. She projectile vomited into Gwen’s face. I was too impressed to be disgusted. And after all that, Gwen still kept down her lunch.
“Gwen keeps it down for the Screaming Gaffers and wins the reward!” Chris announced. All of us cheered! All except Gwen who looked very sorry to have won this way. She gagged and some of the puke came off of her. “Aw, don’t worry, Gwen. You and the Gaffers won the reward. They’ll be thanking you in the elimination challenge.” Eh! It’s a lose-lose situation now. We win, she isn’t eliminated and the Grips will torchure her more. We lose, she goes home and the loss is that my best friend is gone.
"Elimination challenge here we go! No getting out of jail cards here people, this is escape from total drama pen. Each team must jump inside their laundry bag while the other one pushes the cart through the obstacle course. When you reach the wall, get digging. The first team to reach the boxcar of immunity wins freedom! Convicts select a pusher!" Chris said.
"I'll do it!" DJ volunteered.
"Are you sure DJ? what about the pressure, if you like being the one that could lose us the whole thing, then you can go!" Gwen said. Wow, she was really going above and beyond to get herself eliminated. Heather looked very shocked.
DJ looked like her was going to faint. "I should probably lie down." DJ wiped his eyes.
Gwen told him, "it's okay, DJ. I'll do it." She was smirking as she said it. Way to give away your cover.
"This girl is seriously sketch. I refuse to trust her," Heather grumbled as if someone cared.
"I trust her more than you," I lied. Honestly, knowing Gwen wants/has to lose, I wasn't sure if she was reliable. "Now, shut up and get in the cart!"
"I'm going to vote for you next if you don't get in, Ms. Sour Puss," LeShawna threatened. LeShawna was going to vote for Heather anyway.
"Seriously, Heather shut it!" Duncan said passing her.
“This is it teams, on your marks. Get set. Go!” Chris told us.
Gwen started us out on a great lead. Lindsay on the other hand couldn't budge the cart. Beth yelled something to Gwen and Gwen stopped the cart.
"Is there a problem?" Heather scoffed. The Grips moved past us and Justin said something I couldn’t make out, since I was squished in between Duncan and Heather. "I demand an explanation! Why have we stopped?" Heather yelled.
Gwen searched for an answer. She looked at me with desperate eyes. “Leg cramp,” I mouthed. She took her hands off the cart and grabbed her leg. “Ah! Ohh! Cramps! Cramps!” Gwen sounded totally fake. Good thing this isn’t an actual movie or she’d be fired.
“Were they talking about Trent?” Heather pushed. “The guy you were ‘soooo over’. The same guy who just happened to get voted off-”
I saved Gwen from anymore questioning. “Look, Heather. Why don’t you just shut it? It obvious Gwen doesn’t want to talk about her nasty break up, and she’s hurt. Just back off!”
Duncan and DJ looked like they really wanted this conversation to end. Duncan nodded. “If she’s got a cramp, she’s got a cramp. We humans get them.”
“I have just the thing for cramps!” Heather threatened and waved her fist in the air. “Now move the cart!” Gwen continued but we went a lot slower.
We eventually made it to the x and LeShawna started digging. We all hopped in one by one. I began too, but something washed over me. I saw how the dirt was being flung out so carelessly, the hole was so deep, and we were going to go into the darkness. I started to feel woozy as terrible thoughts swept my mind. It’s probably 6 feet deep. It’s cold, dark, the air is stolid and hard to breath… I took 10 steps away from the hole. I was hyperventilating, my hands were clammy, and I could barely stand.
“Ugh! What is taking you so long?! Hurry up!” Heather shouted.
I shook my head silently. “I...I can’t… I can’t do it. I just… I can’t. I can’t! I’m sorry, I just… just no.” I grabbed my head and could barely stand. I felt as though I was 5 again and needed my brother to protect me from the scary monsters under my bed.
DJ got out and walked over to me. “What’s wrong?”
I was having a full-blow panic attack by the time he was near me. “Digging. Underground. Six feet. Cold. Darkness…” I managed to choke out. When I went back and watched this, I was surprised tears weren’t in my eyes because I could have swore I was bawling.
Gwen, who still hadn’t jumped in the hole, must of been happy I was scared because there was joy behind her words. “Oh, that’s right! You still haven’t gotten over your fear of being buried alive.” I understand why she sounded happy, but I was loosing it at that moment and didn’t appreciate it.
I nodded twice and still stared at that hole. There is no way I’d go down there unless I was forced. “Oh, that’s right!” DJ said. “I forgot you about that. It's okay. I'll help you. Just close your eyes, and I'll walk you through the tunnel." I stood there frozen for a second, contemplating the options of staying and being voted off, or going and dying. Either way, I don’t get the million.
I reluctantly nodded and I closed my eyes. DJ took my hand to guide me. I hesitated to walk, but DJ was pulling me. I took one step towards my potential death.
It got harder as we moved down the tunnel because we had to crawl. I was so scared about the fact that I was underground, but somehow, keeping my eyes closed helped. I pretended that the dirt underneath my hands was sand and that I was at the beach. It didn’t work out that well, but as long as I wasn’t fainting.
“Yeah! Alright! Now that’s what I’m talking about!” Harold cheered. My guess is her was talking to LeShawna who was dig-... I mean, uh, dancing? I don’t know. Either way, we’re not underground, we’re at the beach.
“I’m starting to like our chances!” Heather sounded very pleased at our progress. I didn’t even need to see Gwen to know that she looked worried.
Gwen gasped. “Oh! My claustrophobia! The walls, they’re closing in!” Gwen freaked out. Whether she was trying to or not, this made me very uneasy. She reminded me that we are in a dirt grave, how thin the air is, that the air is really thin… that it’s going to take a while to go back to the start… If the dirt doesn’t hold up we’re crushed and…
“I think I’m going to be sick,” I admitted. I could not only feel my heart beating, but I could hear it! Even though it was fairly cold down here, I broke out in a sweat. I had a hard time breathing… Gwen seemed to understand.
“I CAN’T TAKE ANOTHER SECOND OF IT!” Gwen screamed. I heard a loud bang and jumped. Oh man, what was that?! Was that the dirt breaking? Was I about to take my final breath?! I opened my eyes instinctively.
Harold was lying on the ground unconscious, and Gwen held a broken shovel in her hand. I was impressed with how bright it was in here. I could see everything. LeShawna about to kill Gwen, Heather looking annoyed, Harold’s giant bump, the loose dirt all around us, the low ceiling, the exit 200000 feet behind us… Oh man! “Yeah, definitely going to throw up.”
“We are the Screaming Gaffers! And we’re going to win even if we have to dig with our bare hands,” DJ preached. “Even if we have to eat our way out.” He held up some spice jar with hearts on it.
“Danger boy, toothpick, soul patch, scaredy cat, puke breath,” LeShawna gave us new nicknames. I take it I was scaredy cat because I was literally in the fetal position about to cry. “Mama boy is right. Lets get our dig on!”
The walls started to shake and some dirt hit my neck. “AH!” I screamed and hid behind DJ. What was DJ going to do if the walls were breaking? I had no clue, but instinct told me to hide behind the biggest guy I could find.
“Kaleidoscope?” Everyone asked. I poked my head out from behind DJ and saw E-scope’s head sticking out of the dirt.
"Arf. Arf. Arf,” she responded in Izzy-nese.
“Yep, I'd say that's her!" Duncan said.
I wiped the few tears that came out of my eyes and got out from behind DJ. “E-scope! You scared me half to death!” I wasn’t sure if I was exaggerating or not because I was scared half to death just being down here.
“Oops, sorry. But, I’ve been living underground amongst the prairie dogs,” she told us. A prairie dog popped out of her hat and waved it’s hand like an old guy telling kids to “get off his lawn.” It squawked at us angrily. “Aw, butchy, it’s okay! These are my friends.”
“You were a killer grip. One of our sworn enemies,” Heather pointed out. To show you how shaken up I was, I didn’t even respond with a comeback. I didn’t even think of one.
“Yeah, well, friends, enemies. Living down here changes your whole perspective. Follow me, I know a shortcut to the finish line!”
“A shortcut?!” Gwen squealed, not sounding very excited. I on the other hand didn’t care about helping Gwen with her little deal anymore and was about to push Kaleidoscope out of the way to get out. S
“Isn’t great, Gwen?” Heather challenged her. “We’re totally going to win, Gwen.” Yeah, it’s perfect, just wonderful. Now can you guys shut up so we can get out of here.
We followed Izzy who told us her amazing journey in living amongst her people. “...And I became second in command prairie dog; which meant that I shared all the prairie dog council meetings and ooh! Ooh! Here we are!”
“Ooh! Let me out of this hole!” LeShawna demanded. She doesn’t know the half of it. I was still freaking out despite the fact that we have been down here for 30 minutes. Can panic attacks last that long? If so, then yep, I’ve been having one the entire time I was down here. “Aw heck no!” LeShawna said when she hit the surface. Please don’t tell me that there’s just another hole.
Izzy popped out. “We won, we won!” Oh, the Grips just won. Izzy climbed out and I got very impatient.
“They actually won?” Gwen asked, next to pop her head to the open air.
“Try not to look so happy about it,” Heather told her, “Traitor!” Her nice, bald head was free above the ground, while my nice, terrified head was trapped under a mountain of dirt.
We all got out finally. I think I was the most happy about it (read “happy” as “relieved”). I could finally breath after being trapped down there.
“I can’t believe we lost!” Heather yelled.
“Yeah… That’s great,” I still felt really dizzy. “Now, if you excuse me, I’ll just be…” Since they didn’t need me anymore, I passed out from pure terror.
Ah, the Gilded Chris awards. They are terrible. I felt like I was at one of those cheesey award ceremonies. We all cast our votes. I punched Heather’s name in, knowing Gwen would be a goner. Doesn’t mean I was going to vote off my friend. She was the one who made the deal, not me.
“Times up!” Chris cut off our 5 seconds of voting off. “I’ll tally the votes,” he sung. “Duncan. LeShawna, DJ, Harold, and Celeste; another reward and another day to compete.” We all were tossed our cheap awards. “Tonights, final gilded Chris and another chance at the million goes to…” I actually thought Gwen would stay. I know DJ, Duncan, and I didn’t vote for Gwen. That leaves Heather and Harold to vote for Gwen. I wasn’t sure if Gwen voted for herself. If not, as long as DJ, Duncan, and I all voted for Heather, she’s gone! “Heather!” What? But that means… LeShawna didn’t.
I turned back and looked at her. “Did you…?” I mouthed. LeShawna looked guilty and shrugged. I growled as I turned to the front to see Heather grab her Gilded Chris like it was a Gemmie award.
“Sorry, Gwen,” Heather bragged. “You’re not the winner. You lost, so you’re a loser It’s just logic.”
Grr... she's gonna get it. But not before Gwen did. Chef had a nice pair of handcuffs for her and slapped 'em on Gwen's wrist. She was dragged out to the lame-o-sine before I could tell her goodbye.
Well, this sucks. My best friend is gone, my other friend voted her off, and I had a panic attack all day for nothing! I was seriously considering voting myself off. Somethings are just not worth one million dollars. Too bad I was was too stubborn to leave this show, no matter what was thrown at me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is my favorite chapter I have written in forever. However, I would like to take a moment to tell you what I suffered through to get this chapter written. When the Grips make their...um... bowl for Gwen, I threw up the very first time I watched that and have skipped past it everytime I watch it after. Because I had to watch it this time, I am proud to say I didn't puke but I did gag a lot and was in tears because of it (Just like in the Triple Dog Dare You episode of TDI when Owen chews Harold's gum). So, now that I tell you this, I would appreciate it if you voted on this chapter. If not, that's cool, you're a rebel who doesn't follow the rules. If you do, I will be you're best friend. I don't think I ask for votes a lot, so... *hint hint, wink wink, nudge nudge*.
Thank you for your time, and thanks for reading!
EDIT: Watching the 100th episode of TD ever, and seeing that Gwen freaked about going down the hole because of her fear just... OMG! Sorry, this is beyond fan-girl moment. This is full on happiness. I shall pretend like the writers read this when it was on quizilla and added it because of me. Not true, but I can believe... right? Anyway, thank for reading again! (Eeeeeee!)