I am still in deep thoughts about what happened and everything is still a blur. After having dinner with my parents, they’re still not talking to one another unless it’s; “Can you please pass me that?” Or “Thank You how is your day?” I don’t know why I’m afraid to ask them what is really going on. Scratch that, I’m afraid of what is going to be there answer if I will ask them.
What is going to be a problem if you ask them? It’s not like a million dollar question right?
I know and that’s my problem, I don’t know what to do?
I’m going crazy,
See? I’m talking now to myself.
It’s not a bad thing you know, I’m still you.
I sigh deeply and let the darkness captivate me.
***
“How may I help-“I look at the person to see my brother standing there?
“Jamey!” I hurriedly jump out of my seat and run towards my brother to hug him.
“Who the hell is Jamey?” he asks as he hugs me back and I roll my eyes at him.
“That’s your new name idiot! Why are you here? I thought you’ll be back tomorrow morning?” I ask him as I pull away from his arms.
“I missed my sister and I guess she don’t miss me at all. I drive all the way from here to see her charming face but what did I get?” Ladies and gentleman, please give my brother a round of applause for being a drama king. I wonder why he didn’t go for the audition of sound of music; he will be a good actor.
“Drama king, come on let’s go together and treat me for lunch!”
“I knew you’re going to say that!” he chuckles and put his arm around me.
“Linda, Could you please take my sit for a while? I’ll just eat lunch with King Kong.” I smiled at her and she smiled at me back. She is a pretty lady who works for our shop.
“Thank you.” I told her When we reach his car, King Kong speaks again.
“If I’m single, I’ll be hitting her.” I gave my brother a glare and a couple of light punches in his arms. Even if I know that he is just kidding.
“I’m just kidding! Damn it, you punch like a man! And no worries, I’m stock with your best friend forever. Well, I have no plan on letting her go anyways.” He said casually as he looks at his car.
If Myra is here, I know that she will be drowning by King Kong’s words.
***
“So, do they know that you are here already?” I ask him after munching my steak.
“Yeah,” he said.
“Okay,” I sigh and look outside.
“What’s with the sigh?” He asks and looks while wiping his mouth with a napkin.
“There is something going on with them and I don’t know what that is” James looks at me, still confuse.
“I don’t get it, what do you mean?” he asked.
“I came home one day and heard them talking about something, like; “she’s not ours” “they want to see her” “she’s my baby” etcetera. I’m so confused James, are they talking about me? Is there something I need to know?” I ask him.
He looks outside; maybe thinking what is really my parents were hiding away from us.
“Don’t mind it; maybe they’re talking about someone or whatever. Also, did you know how rude it is to listen to other’s conversation?” he tease and I roll my eyes at him.
I can’t help but think of Ethan, he is the one who keeps on telling me that. Speaking of him, he called me four times last night but I’m not answering his calls yet.
All I want to speak and see right now is no other than Luke. I missed him so much.
“Come on King Kong; let’s go back because I have so many things to do.” I ordered him.
“Stop calling me King Kong!” he protests as we made our way outside.
***
My parents were now in talking mode and that’s because maybe James is here. We spent a lot doing things together like scrabble which James trying to make new words when he is out of words to put down. Words that do not really exist, we also played tennis and basketball for fun. It was so fun! The smile on our parent’s faces was priceless and I love it.
Weekend end so fast and last night after James left, I try to look for some job on the internet. Some of them get me interested so I look for the details.
Once I opened my facebook which I rarely open, I saw something that makes me froze for a minute. Luke’s name is written on my inbox.
Clicking the message to open,
Hey, I miss you like so much. I hope you’re doing fine; I hate not seeing you every day. It feels like years without having you near.
I hope that it still me who is inside your heart, the one who makes you smile, the one you wanted to be with because if you ask me, you are still the reason why my heart still beats and nothing will change.
I hope you already forgive me for all the things I’ve done to you. I will not get mad if you already found someone, I will accept that even if it will hurt like fuck! But of course, I hope that it’s still me, I’m still looking forward to see you.
I want you to know that I’ve change, and it’s for the better. I want to show you everything I have done but yet, there’s still something missing and I know even with my eyes close, I know and it’s not what, it’s who and that is you.
I love you so much Sam, I love you like I can’t live a day without thinking of you. I can’t help to think if you’re alright? Did you eat already? Did you have a nice sleep? Did you already have work? Do you want to see me? Do you still love me? Everything! And I hate that I can’t even see you. I’m just Luke and I know that I already made a lot of mistakes in the past, and maybe in the future but I promise you that I will still love you till the worlds stop spinning and love you still in the other life. I keep on thanking God for giving me someone like you in my life. I love you baby and I miss you. Love, Luke.
I closed my laptop with tears running down my face, but it’s a tear that contains of happiness and love.
It’s not a tear of hurt anymore; I know inside me that this is all we need. I love Luke, more than everything and I think that it’s time. I forgive him already and he knows that, we just both need time to ourselves to see who we really are and what we really need in life.
***
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