Beth
"Dan's in the hospital," her sobs get louder.
My phone clatters to the ground, and soon after I follow it, leaning against the wall. I pick up the phone again.
"I, he, and..." She's crying too hard to speak properly.
"Elsa, stop crying, please, tell me what's wrong."
"I'm not sure! I just got a call from the hospital. Dan told them I was family so they called me."
The only part of that sentence that actually registers is "Dan told them". He's conscious.
"Can you come get me? I need to see him."
"Yes, where are you?"
"The motel just off the highway, you know the place?"
Elsa confirms she does, and hangs up.
I sit blankly for a minute, staring at the grey wall in front of me.
It's all my fault.
I should have told him.
Trusted him.
I shouldn't have taken the letters.
I should have stayed.
Possible scenarios flash through my mind; murder, car accident, cancer, attempted-
No. I shake my head to get that image out of my imagination.
"God dammit!" I cry, "it's all my fault!"
I start sobbing and banging my knuckles against the wall.
Crying, snot smeared on my face and punching the wall.
It could have been comical, had it not been so utterly heartbreaking.
Someone knocks on my door. Assuming it's Elsa, I open it, still crying. To my horror, it's the guy from reception.
"I-I'm sorry, did I wake you?" I stumble over my words, trying to gain control of my breathing.
"No, it's fine, my shift is still on. Are you alright?" He looks genuinely concerned.
"I-" my knees buckle, and I start to fall. The guy darts forwards and catches me, setting my down on the ground, my back against the wall.
He takes my hand, trying to calm me down, because again my breathing is irregular and gasping, like a fish out of water.
"Shhh, you'll be okay. Breathe, just breathe. Focus on breathing in..." He speaks soothingly, holding my hand and rubbing my back.
Soon enough, my breathing slows down to a regular pace, and I manage to get a word out.
"Thank you," my voice is raspy like I've been yelling all day.
He makes to stand, but in panic I grip his hand.
"Please don't go," my eyes widen in panic, "my friend will be here soon, please, stay until she comes."
"I just want to get something for your hands. There's a first-aid kit in your bathroom, okay?" I nod and look down at my hands.
My knuckles are swollen and bleeding in several places.
He returns moments later, holding a damp towel, band aids and some cream.
While he tends to my hands, I try to get a grip on myself. I don't want to break down again when Elsa gets here, she'll just freak out.
The guy dabs some ointment on the cuts, which makes me hiss in pain.
"Sorry, sorry! I'm nearly done," he says, hurriedly patting my fingers with the towel.
Someone knocks on my door. I look up.
Elsa.
To be honest, she looks like absolute shit. I mean, I know I probably don't look too crash-bang hot myself, but she looks like a right mess.
The guy stands up.
"Um, hello, I'm Adam," he shakes Elsa's hand.
"Elsa. Thanks for looking after her, I was a bit worried about her," she tries for a smile, but fails miserably.
"Thanks," I croak.
"No problem, hope all's well," he waves and leaves.
"Let's go." Elsa helps me up.
***
Most of the drive is silent, until I think of something.
"Can you stop by my place for a moment," I'm basically pleading.
She takes one look at my face and nods.
At my apartment, Elsa waits in the car while I sprint up to the second floor.
The letters are where I left them, in the chest under my bed, where I keep old diaries, stories and songs I'd written. There's only four or five letters, so I stick them in my pocket and hurry back down to the car.
***
By the time we reach the hospital it's around half-six and starting to get light outside.
Inside the hospital, we're lost. The building is massive and we no idea where to go, so we approach a young nurse dressed in pale blue scrubs.
"Um, hi. We were wondering how to locate patients?" Elsa's voice is quiet and trembling.
The nurse directs us over to a desk, where a man of about thirty is sitting.
"Who are you looking for?" He sounds bored.
"Dan- Daniel Smith," I stumble over the words.
"Family only girls. I'm afraid-"
"We're family," Elsa cuts him off, "she's his fiancee and I'm her cousin. So, what room?"
I look at her in shock. She's not one to lie.
"Floor three, room 14, bed two."
Elsa and I take off as fast as we can without running.
Outside Dan's room, panic seizes me. I can't do this. I sink down onto a hard chair and put my head between my knees. A nurse rushes over.
"Is she okay? Would you like some water?" She asks.
I hear Elsa reply, and a murmured exchange of words between the two girls.
Elsa sits in the chair next to me.
"He's alright. He got hit by a car, he's got a few broken bones, but otherwise he's fine," she tells me.
I let out a breath I didn't realise I was holding.
He's okay.
"Can we go see him?" I ask.
"Yeah."
I stand up, but freeze outside the door. I haven't spoken to him since he found the letter. This could get interesting. I can't run off this time though, no matter what. I have to stay and explain. I-
Elsa opens the door, clearly realising I won't do it myself.
I see Dan propped up in bed, his leg in plaster. He's reading. My eyes fill with tears of relief. I know he's okay. I make my way over to his bed, my shoes making slapping sounds on the linoleum floor. I don't understand how he hasn't heard me, but then I realise he's got headphones in. There's a bunch of flowers on his bedside table. Someone must have visited him already; his sister, or maybe Steph.
There's a worn leather arm chair by his bed, so I sit and try to compose myself. Breathe, Beth. It'll be fine.
"Dan?"
He looks up, and his face lights up like it's never done before. Why is he happy to see me? It's my fault he's even here.
"Beth!" His voice is warm and full of surprise, "I wasn't sure you'd come, I thought you'd be angry at me. I-"
"Why the hell would I be angry at you Dan?" I'm genuinely confused.
"This is all my fault. I pushed you too far with those letters-"
"Dan. Stop."
He ignores me and keeps speaking.
"I should have stopped asking. I get that some things are personal, and I'm really really..."
The last word dies on his lips as I lean over and kiss him, half to shut him up, and half because I love him and I thought I was going to lose him.
I pull away.
"Sorry..." He whispers, his eyes wide with shock.
"I..." I can't find anything to say, so I pass him the letters.
"You deserve to know Dan. You deserve to know everything."
I stand up to leave, and I'm almost out the door before Dan speaks.
"You'll come back?" His expression is that of a lost puppy.
"Of course."