The minutes were going by slowly, it even felt like time was frozen. This scenario was familiar, but I didn't want it to end the same way. Five years ago I lost my father from a car accident. A year ago the doctors told us that my mother had cancer and it didn't get better. Now she was very weak and had to stay in the hospital. One of the doctors approached me and said that I could see my mum. She looked at me with faint smile when I came in, I knew that she was trying to stay strong for me: "There you are Rachel, happy birthday. I'm sorry that I couldn't buy you something nice."
I gave her a hug: "Doesn't matter mum, the only gift I need is you being alive." She stopped smiling and tried changing the subject: "Why won't you go out and celebrate your birthday, you know that you don't need to stay in this hospital." I didn't really have friends, everyone at school ignored me, I didn't even get any message for my birthday. However, I didn't want my mother to know that: "I don't really feel like celebrating it, I rather want to stay with you." She held my hand: "Try to sleep then, It looks like you haven't slept in days." I nodded and closed my eyes.
I dreamt about my mum getting better and that we went on vacation together. But suddenly she fell down, like she was having a heart attack. Then I woke up and saw that my mum wasn't in her bed. There was a nurse sitting on it, trying to wake me up: "Where is my mother?" I already knew the answer, but was hoping that she would say something different: "I'm sorry, she passed away." I couldn't stop crying, I knew what was going to happen next. A woman picked me up from the hospital and brought me home, so I could pack some stuff. I didn't pack a lot, just some clothes and pictures. Then she brought me to an orphanage.
I entered the orphanage and it was very quiet, except for this weird looking lady behind a desk, she was calling someone. I approached the desk and waited for the call to end. She finally finished the call after five minutes and looked at me like I was some filth from the street: "You must be Rachel." I nodded and she handed me some papers and a pen: "Please fill in this form."
I sat down and started filling in the form. It was some basic stuff like: name, age, date of birth... Meanwhile did the lady start calling someone again.
I finished filling in the form and gave it to the lady, now there was a man standing at the desk too. The lady looked at the form: "Oh.. Today is your birthday..." I nodded and said: "Yea, I turned 16 today." She looked at the form again: "Well, just follow this man, he will lead you to your room." Why did everyone look so weird!? It was like they all came from a horror movie. The room was just like a jail cell, it had a bed and some place to store some stuff.
Later that day it was time for dinner. I left my room, only to see this guy in front of me: "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" I was a bit surprised, nobody ever wished me a happy birthday, except for my parents: "Uhm, thank you, I guess..." The guy smiled at me: "Hi, I'm Austin."
"Rachel" I said quickly, still surprised that he knew that it was my birthday: "I can show you where the cafeteria is, if you want." I nodded and followed him: "How did you know that it is my birthday?" He laughed: "Well I heard you at the reception."
We entered the cafeteria and he gave me an explanation of all the people: "Over there are the people who are here since their birth, they are pretty alright. Those are the people who were abandoned later in their life, because their parents got sick of them. And over there are the sad fucks, they lost both their parents. They're pretty annoying since they talk about their parents all the time and cry about it. So what group do you belong in?"
I was silent for a minute, but then said: "The sad fucks"
"Shit, I'm sorry, I didn't know!" I shrugged: "You couldn't know..." I walked away and sat at a table where there was a free spot. Austin sat in front of me: "Hey, I really didn't know. I hope that we can be friends." Nobody ever told me that they wanted to be my friend: "Uhm... sure, how did you end up here anyway?"
"Well my parents got sick of me, so they just decided to put me here." I looked around and saw that some people were looking at me like I was crazy. A woman came to me and asked if I needed any help: I'm alright, no help needed here..." She walked away: "What was her problem?" Austin shrugged: "I don't know they probably ask that to all the new kids I guess." I ignored it and ate the rest of my meal.
All the other days were pretty much the same: eating, sleeping, wondering around and hanging out with Austin.
"Hey, what's this? Austin grabbed a book from my shelf and wanted to open it: "Don't touch that!" I was too late, he was already looking in it: "I didn't know that you could draw. But why are all these drawings so sad? You need to draw happy stuff!" I took the book back: "I don't have any reason to draw happy stuff." He held my hands and said: "Then find a reason to be happy." He then gave me a hug and told me that it was going to be alright.
I went to a therapist a week later. I needed to talk to someone and Austin wasn't an option , since he calls people who lost their parents 'sad fucks'. "What brings you here, Rachel?" I sat down in a chair: "My parents, I miss them so much. I know that my dad is gone for five years now, but it still hurts. I also lost my mum recently and I just don't know what to do anymore. The only one holding me up is Austin..." The therapist looked confused and asked me: "Who is Austin?" She probably didn't know everyone in this orphanage: "Well, he is a guy that I met here." She now placed her clipboard on the table: "Does he sit with you in the cafeteria?"
I felt relieved now, she knew who I was talking about: "Yes, that's him. We talk about the most random things, he makes me happy and..." She interrupted me: "Rachel, people think that you're crazy."
I just stared at her, not knowing what to say. She continued talking when she saw that I had nothing to say: "They have been claiming that you keep talking to yourself, like you're having a conversation with somebody.
I think that you are imagining this Austin guy." I stood up, full of anger not believing her: "He is real, he knows more about this orphanage than I do!"
She stood up too, told me to sit back down and then left the room.
She entered the room again with some documents, then she gave me a picture. I looked at it closely and noticed that it was a picture of Austin: "That's Austin! see, I told you that I'm not crazy!" She had a concerned look on her face and gave me an article from a news paper. I read the title over and over, not understanding what was happening 'Orphan commits suicide in orphanage' It showed a picture of Austin and had some text under it. I was speechless: "He killed himself, Rachel. You're seeing this guy who killed himself five years ago."
"F-five years ago?" I stuttered. She nodded, I stormed out of the room, not wanting to talk anymore. How could I imagine someone who killed himself and I never met? Was he a ghost?
I arrived at my room and saw Austin waiting for me at the door: "How was the therapy?" I ignored him, entered my room and then closed my door. Austin kept knocking on my door, wanting to know what was wrong, I just took my headset and started to play music as loud as I could.
The next day I went to the cafeteria, hoping to not see Austin there. I started eating, while looking around the cafeteria. "Are you finally going to tell me what's wrong?"
When did he sat down in front of me? "Are you then going to tell me about your death?" I saw that he was panicking: "Don't believe them, they are trying to make you hate life, they want you to kill yourself." I was so mad and started yelling at him: "Stop lying to me, everyone thinks that I'm crazy thanks to you!" Everyone looked at me, not understanding who I was talking to. I looked at where Austin was sitting a minute ago, but he was gone now. Was I finally freed from this ghost?
I went to my room and there he was, just sitting on my bed: "I needed to talk to you in private."
"I don't care what you have to say..." He stood up: "I didn't die five years ago..." I looked at him, ready to start yelling again.
"However, I did die five months ago and I didn't kill myself. I died while I was in a coma. Most of these people here did. Then you have the other people who died in a fire."
While Austin was talking, I was just drawing some random stuff in my sketch book. When he started about a fire, I looked up: "What fire?" He let out a sigh of relieve, when he saw that I was finally listening: "Well the fire that burned this orphanage down."
"So you're telling me that I'm living in a burned down orphanage with dead people." He shook his head: "No, you're dreaming this. You're in a coma just like I was and all these people around you, they're trying to drag you down. You don't have much time left I want you to have happy thoughts right now!"
I sighed: "I don't have any."
He grabbed my hand: "You do you just need to find them."
Suddenly I had this warm feeling of happiness and that nothing could ruin my day. It felt like I was leaving the earth and that nothing mattered anymore.
The last thing that I remembered was the therapist entering my room, screaming and trying to keep Austin away from me. However, like I said, nothing mattered anymore, I was leaving.
I opened my eyes. Was Austin alright? What did the therapist do to him? I looked up and met my mum's eyes: "Mum?"
"Oh my God, you're awake! She hugged me, someone else hugged me too: "We are so glad that you're awake after five long months." I looked at the man next to me: "Dad!" I gave him a hug, while holding back some tears.
A week later a doctor wanted to do some tests to see if I could go home. When the doctor came in, I saw a man who was around the same age as my father, but he looked exactly like Austin.
After the tests I asked him quietly: "Is Austin your son?" He looked up from his clipboard: "Yes he was, he died a week after your car accident."
I was still speaking in a silent tone: "Your son is a hero, he saved my life." I saw that there were tears in his eyes: "No he isn't, you wouldn't be here if he didn't cause the crash." He left the room without saying any other words.
That night I was back in my own house and in my own bed.
I don't care what people say, Austin will always be a hero for me.