Chapter Twenty
Annabelle
My bags were packed. I didn’t have a lot to pack, because I didn’t know how long I was going to be staying. I didn’t think that I was prepared to go back to her permanently, but I just couldn’t stay here.
I heard the friendly chatter between my mom and my uncle downstairs. She was waiting for me. This was the last chance that I would have to change my mind and stay.
“Are you ready Annabelle?” my mother’s voice chirped from downstairs.
No, I felt like replying, but instead I grabbed my bag and walked down the stairs. My mother’s face was gleaming with joy of finally seeing me again, but the feelings weren’t mutual. I had no choice but to go back to the mother who had abandoned me. She didn’t think I could handle the ridicule from the whole school; the constant reminder that most people didn’t understand. The world was all sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows, for them, while for me it was the reminder that my perfect little high school life was crumbling at my feet.
“I’m going to miss you, kid.” My uncle gave me a strong hug. I had been his child for the time that I spent here, and even though I never really saw him, I really was going to miss him.
“I’m going to miss you too.” That was the first truthful thing that I had said since I had in a long time.
“Have a safe trip with your mom. I’m sure you two will get the bonding time that you haven’t had. Come back and visit, ok?” My mom was already out the door, carrying my stuff. She wasn’t one to linger in one place and chat for a while.
“I will,” I said quietly, afraid that if I spoke up, all of my true feelings would be released. “Can you keep an eye on Ryan for me?” Tears had already started to linger in my eyes at the thought of him. It was like my heart was being ripped out and stabbed thousands of times. I had only wished I was that lucky, to be put out of my misery. Instead, there was the constant pain in my chest after every breath.
He nodded his head and stood in the door way as we walked to the car. My mom had already had everything ready to go, so she ushered me in the car. It wasn’t like we were going far, but she was anxious for the car ride.
“Bye!” my mother screamed out the window, offering a small wave then switching her focus back to driving.
I hadn’t stayed with my uncle for very long, but I could see the sorrow in his eyes. But I had seen the sincerity in his eyes and heard it in his voice when he said that he would look after Ryan for me. That was a small weight lifted off of my chest. It worried me to think about how much trouble Ryan would be getting himself into.
“For not seeing your mother for a couple of months, you are really quiet.” She teased me, but I found it too hard to laugh—too hard to even smile. “Oh sweetheart, you are coming back home with you mom! Isn’t this what you wanted?”
No, I felt like telling her. I wanted an escape. And where you’re taking me isn’t going to be any better. But instead of complaining and ruining her enthusiastic mood, I just remained silent in the passenger seat.
“So how’s that boy?” my mom asked wiggling her eye brows at me. As if my silence had not been enough of a hint to my unhappiness.
“Ryan.” I had meant to continue on with a sentence, but the surge of pain that I felt in my chest said otherwise.
“Your uncle told me about him. It looked like it slipped out of him because he wasn’t very interested in talking about it. He kept changing the conversation.”
If she only knew, I sighed, then answered her, “Yeah we didn’t really end on the best of terms if you will.”
“Oh sweetheart I’m sorry! I know that break ups can be terrible—”
“Mom,” I interrupted her before I flat out burst into tears. “We didn’t break up. Things just got…” Complicated was what I was going to say, but that wasn’t the right word. “Things got difficult. As I found out more about Emmett’s accident, the police thought he was swerving to hit someone. If he wouldn’t have been texting me, he would have seen and have been able to safely avoid them, but he couldn’t. It was Ryan who was out in the street.” My eyes closed as I finished the last sentence. There was a small optimistic side of me that hoped that this was going to get better, easier, but I knew that that wasn’t in my near future.
“Oh Annabelle,” my mother sighed, “I’m sorry I didn’t know.”
She was right, she didn’t know. Because now she had me started; all fired up. Now I was going to talk about it—let all of my feelings out. “I love him, mom. I know that I do. Regardless of the drugs, I love him. And now that I’m gone, who knows what the hell he is going to be doing. I’m going back to a town that will never accept me. Back to the parents who think that I killed their son. Back to people who will judge me as I walk down the hall and stare at me like I’m some murder; like I did all of this on purpose. As we are driving away, Ryan is somewhere feeling guilty about everything, because I don’t have it in me anymore to turn back around and face everything.
“I have to keep running; hiding my face from society. And the worst part is that everyone demands that I start building a bridge and getting over it, but I can’t. Everyone wants me to be ok again, but I only was when I was with him. He made me feel ok. Now I’m slipping right back into the same state that I was before and there is absolutely nothing that anyone can do about it because I need a break. I need to think of myself in the situation for once. Staying there only killed me slowly as it does when I’m home.
“What do you want me to say mom, that I’m happy to see you and happy to go home? Well I’m not. I am the only one who can fix this and I don’t have the first clue how to start.” The tears poured down my face rapidly and I curled up into the tightest ball I could and sobbed. A warm hand rested on my knee, but that was the only thing she said. No comfort was given, nor did I want it.
The whole car ride I sobbed. It was a good half an hour, but by the time I saw that we were nearing home, I pulled my act together.
“Annabelle, I can’t offer you happiness, but I am offering you anything that I can in order to get you there. Welcome home sweetie.” It was the first time in what seemed like forever that I hugged my mom. I felt safe in her arms, welcome there. There was hope that I would get through this. We would get through this; together.
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A/N
I just want to thank my awesome readers for continuing to read after the delay. I am taking extremely rigorous classes. I feel like I don't have time to breathe, let alone write.
Anyways, this chapter was supposed to be short. I hope you guys like it! And if I had to put a hashtag to this chapter, it would definitely be #AnnabelleExplosion :D
So what do you guys think?
And thanks again for all my readers that have stayed with me!