Book Reviews 2 [SLOW UPDATES]

De bluecrayonlady

2.8K 143 406

This is the second book for Book Reviews! The first one is completed, so please don't comment your request th... Mais

FORM!
Review #1: One Night, Alone
Review #2: Memory Shards
Review #3: The Elements: Air
Review #4: Hailey's Comet
Review #5: A Ripple in a Void
Review #6: What?
Review #7: Whispers of Spilt Blood
Review #8: Taken - Zootopia
Review #9: Wait For Me
Review #10: My Pretend Boyfriend
Review #11: Amnesia
Review #12: Timing A Runaway
Review #13: The Unspoken Words
Review #14: The Awkward McFlurry
Review #15: Falling for the Fallen
Review #16: Love at First Fight
Review #17: Pluto
Review #18: Sunset
Review #19: I'm Aurora
Review #20: Phone Calls
Review #21: That Boy At My Attic
Review #22: Before
Review #23: Stranded
Review #24: Awakening
Review #25: Saku no Akumu
Review #26: The Fox and The Forest
Review #27: The Wrongs He Made Right
Review #28: Midnight Promises
Review #29: Zac and Zelda
Review #30: Colored Pencils
Review #31: The Butterfly Effect
Review #32: Fading
Review #33: Astral Saga
Review #34: scintilla
Review #35: Never Too Late
Review #36: Essence
Review #37: Beyond the Fence
Review #38: Dear Mister Bully
Review #39: #24 Hours With A Stranger
Review #40: Pieces of Olivia
Review #41: The Complications Between Penelope Nelson & Ashton Wright
Review #42: Becoming the Perfect Bitch
Review #43: An Unexpected Serving
Review #44: Esthara: A Call for Blood and Peace
Review #45: Hayden Mackay and the Forgotten Kingdom
Review #46: Rebirth
Review #47: The Perks of Being Invisible
Review #48: A Tough Life
Review #49: Random One Shots
Review #50: Lollipops
Review #51: Dear You
Review #52: The 24th Hunger Games
Review #53: Forever the Best Friend
Review #54: The Beanie Boy on Plane
Review #55: The Truth or Dare Kiss
Review #56: The Boy Who Sat Next to Me
Review #57: Miss Heartbreaker
Review #58: The Girl You Knew
Review #59: Silent Angel
Review #60: Through the eyes of his bully
Review #61: Childhood Enemy
Review #63: Paper Trails
Review #64: Bonded
Review #65: Beneath the Marfa Lights
Review #66: Unhappily Ever After
Review #67: Oblivious
Review #68: The Omega Chronicles - Alpha and Omega
Review #69: All That Leads to You
Review #70: Delicate
Review #71: Saving Annabel
Review #72: Like Hurricanes
Review #73: Limerence
Review #74: Penance
Review #75: Chelsea Grins
Review #76: D.O.G.: Executive Order
Review #77: Broken Until Him
Review #78: Theodore and Jade
Review #79: The Longest Ride

Review #62: Uncliché

28 2 1
De bluecrayonlady

schoolgirlsoudra

First Impression: cute cover, the summary isn't very eye catching, doesn't spark any interest

The first chapter of your story should be titled "Author's Note," because it isn't the prologue. I dislike the short sentences a lot, because it causes a lot of pauses when reading. I suggest combining the sentences into longer sentences so you have a variety, and not hit "enter" after every statement you make. Also, make sure to check your spelling and grammar because I found some mistakes throughout the story. You also have a lot of fragmented sentences, which were a pain to read. There's also a lot of rambling and nonsense that is written, especially when you write about all her thoughts and they're all over the place. I also think that you shouldn't give a run through of everything she does in her day, because then you leave the reader bored. I found myself bored during the story at the slow parts. I also found it unrealistic that she would talk about her cancer so lightly, and just drop that fact so abruptly in the beginning of the story. You need to work on developing the plot so it flows better and things don't come at random times. Give more background information before jumping to the big parts, like the deal. I also think you should give more descriptions, especially in terms of her family life or what her situation is. Your characters also have no depth, and it seems as if they are just blank slates. I want you to develop them further so they have distinct personalities instead of just following the cliche parts. Also, I'm really confused on whether this is a poem or a story, because at times, it seems like you're writing a poem with all the fragmented sentences. 

Overall, this story needs a lot of work. 

Remember that these suggestions  are just my opinion, and this is your story, so make sure to write it the way you want it to be! If you don't agree with any of my suggestions, then ignore them :)

If you are feeling nice, I would greatly appreciate it if you give one of my stories a read, follow me, or give me a shoutout! If you enjoy making art, I would love for you to make something for one of my stories, and I will post it! Message me if you have any questions. 

Lastly, please comment below a rating of how helpful this review was for you (out of 5 stars) Be honest, it will help me! Thanks :) Don't forget to vote for this chapter if you enjoyed the review!

- bluecrayonlady 

Continue lendo

Você também vai gostar

69.6K 3.9K 81
When shrivi goes home after a long time. Who doesn't have her parents' love and family's love for some reason. She had support from her grandmother...
56.8K 131 21
Just a slutty whore who needs to get all her thoughts and feelings on a page. Loves being submissive to her dom daddy 🧎‍♀️ DISCORD- jessieleihuyg8t...
66.6K 1.2K 97
Continuation of Modesto story who happens to intercourse with friends,mature,classmates,strangers and even family...
409K 5.5K 28
Emmett loves to be a rebel. He skips school to hang out, drink, and smoke with his two friends when suddenly he and his best friend are cornered and...