I never wanted a sister. I remember the very day my parents broke the news to me , and I was about 3 years old. I was sitting on the kitchen stool coloring with my crayon set. At that age ,that was my prized possession my bright pink crayon box , and inside held my multi-colored Crayola crayon set. I was doodling what I think was a butterfly, and dreaming about random 3-year-old things. Life was good and all that mattered was coloring and princesses. I was a spunky little coloring mess. I took my appearance from my father, and I get that all the time. I have his bright dirty blonde hair and his piercing hazel eyes. I took absolutely nothing from my mother who had dark brown hair with the most blueish eyes I've ever seen. I was coloring quietly humming a tune , until both my parents came into the kitchen. I could tell it was something serious, because of the way they looked at me as if I were the judge and my final approval mattered more than anything. I looked up from my butterfly with a smile spread across my face , because I thought this had to be some joke.
"Are you hiding a present Daddy", I giggled resting my pudgy fists onto my tiny hips.
"It depends Fiona-Biona", he said pinching my chunky cheeks.
"It is a very special present", my mom said rubbing her belly. One thing that amazes me about my mother is her elegance ever since a young age. I always noticed how graceful and elegant she did everything. I saw her as this beautiful figure and someone I wanted to be when I was older. At this point, my mom and dad reunited clasping each other's hands and were looking directly at me. With the biggest smiles. I was happy because they were happy. I stood up on the stool with my knees in the butt of the seat clapping my hands together.
"What is it Mommy and Daddy", I shrieked in a happy tone. My hair was a tangled mess and I was a walking rainbow. I remember on that day wearing my bright pink tights, rainbow tutu, and kitty shirt. The tutu was a must for me (it was a dress-myself faze).
"You're going to have a little sister Fiona", they yelled with vibrant energy.
I didn't know how to react. My face flushed and I quickly remembered the incident at the park earlier that day. My dad was at work, but my mom was home so she decided to treat me with a day at the park. I loved the park the slides, monkey bars, and play area. As I was swinging on the swings at the park. I noticed two sisters fighting over a doll, they were older than me maybe around 7. I had noticed earlier that the doll was clearly the older sister's doll, but the younger one wanted it.To take it. To steal it. I associated those thoughts and words with the situation. The mother quickly came to the scene of her fighting daughters and yanked the doll from the older sister , and handed it to the younger sibling. I was shocked and stunned because this wasn't fair this was evil in my eyes. The mom later treated the younger one to ice cream and let the poor older sister crying and dusty. The older sister got dusty because they were tugging the doll in the sandbox the mother's yank threw the girl to fall into the sand.
I couldn't believe this and this was engraved into my memory. I watched this event unfold and it traumatized the hell out of me , not because I was a brainless 3-year-old. This traumatized me because I couldn't believe your mother who you love and trust so much , would do such a thing. Not my mother , not any mother. Your mother was supposed to be on your side, and the only logical explanation for this treatment was her younger sister. The only reason the older sister was alone and had no one to talk to. The only reason she was balling her eyes out no doll ,no ice cream ,no nothing. After watching that I jumped off the swing and ran into my mother's lap. She was surprised , but quickly caught on while she followed my deep gaze.
"She just left her alone Mommy", I said gripping her legs while in her lap.
"Not necessarily Fiona", my mom said with a concerned look on her face.
"Why don't you slide down the slide and show Mommy", she said quickly changing the tone.
And so I did. I showed her how I slid down the slide magnificently leaving that experience behind that day. Until ,that very moment they broke the news. My face was flushed and I didn't know how to react. Having a sister would mean I would be alone and crying. My mind immediately associated sister with that linking the day's events to that , that one word , one thing , one present ,surprise. It was like saying surprise! You are now our second priority and we would be perfectly fine leaving you alone and crying. And that...that was a blow to the face.
"No"!, I said shrieking while I ran to my bedroom.
I knew how to lock myself in my room so I did ,and started crying into my tiny pudgy hands. My knees were pulled close against my chest and my heart thumped. My world seemed to be collapsing and everything was so perfect , this sister would ruin everything.
"Fiona come out it's a wonderful thing to have a new friend to play with ", my mother said in her trying to calm you sweet tone.
"It seems bad but you will love it", my dad added in a similar tone.
"No it's not" I fired back trying to catch my breath after crying.
"She's going to make me be alone and I won't have any ice cream", I screeched back crying.
This made perfect sense in my head. They didn't bother saying anything else because I was and am stubborn. When I have my mind made up it's a done deal. So I cried my eyes out and unlocked the door. I pranced into the kitchen with a red face and puffy eyes. There in front of me , I saw my parents . My dad was in a squat position in his chair, his elbows were on the table , and his hands were on his face he always did this when he was in deep thought. However, my mother being the responsible productive one was making pancakes. Breakfast for dinner I brightened up at that, but quickly hid it so they would cancel having a sister.
"Hey Fiona come here", my mom said as she gestured for me to fall into her arms.
And I did just that. I was gullible and sold by breakfast for dinner. Yummy chocolate chip pancakes and milk. The rest of the night baby or sister didn't come up once, and I quickly forgot until my mom was tucking me in.
"You will always be my Fiona-Biona-Liona princess and no baby will take that from you", she said as she kissed my forehead after pulling the cover over me. I smiled at the thought of my position being secured.
"Thank you Mommy", I said in a high-pitched squeal. The rest was a blur and I quickly fell asleep.
Months and days past and it was becoming more and more clear that my baby sister was coming, and evidently it took a toll on the relationship I had with my mother. She was grouchy and couldn't work as fast as a little girl wanted her to play. My Dad stepped in at these points. He learned things like brushing out my tangles ,and getting me dressed for school. He even pitched in on packing my very special high maintenance lunch. Not to add to the fact that he was a full-time doctor. One day in the middle of July things changed forever. I was on the kitchen stool coloring (my usual spot), my dad was trying to cook what seemed to be Macn'Cheese but was failing horribly. I had my hair in two pigtails and I was wearing a bright orange t-shirt with glitter, bright pink shorts, and yellow and white sandals. My feet dangled from the stool as usual, because I wasn't tall enough. At that moment ,my mom came thumping down the stairs whaling like I've never heard before. My dad left everything he was doing and rushed to her side.
My mother was gripping her belly , and squatting while gripping the stairs whaling. Even in this moment I caught my breath , because of the fleeting , elegant , natural beauty I found in my mom. Her hair was in a messy bun she was wearing a bright blue summer dress made of comfortable material. My Dad held up my mom and started to panic a little.
"Um Fiona get in the car now", he said trying to keep his composure while being stern.
On the way to my screaming mother, one of my sandals dropped from how high up I was on the stool. So I ran to my mother's side with one sandal.
"But Daddy I left my sandal in the kitch...", I tried to explain but my dad cut me off.
"Now Fiona go", he yelled.
So I did what I was told and before we knew it we were on our way to the hospital. My mind bounced all over the place , but for the most part, I stayed calm. My eyes were glued to the window of my car so I didn't pay much attention to my panting mom. I just thought in my head the baby must be coming. I didn't quite get over my fear during the past months , I just learned how to cope with it.I just learned how to accept my condition and learn how to live with it. She was coming whether I liked it or not. We swerved into the hospital parking lot. I scurried out of our new minivan with one sandal. I looked like a complete fool.
" Hurry Fiona", my dad said grabbing my hand. We ran into the building with my mom.
They quickly sat her into a wheelchair and she was taken away from us my dad followed behind. They left me already and she wasn't even born. A nurse quickly came to my side and took me to a room full of toys to keep kids busy. It looked like lots of fun , but my mind was obviously somewhere else.
"Hey do you want to try playing with that lego box", she said in an enthusiastic voice.
I nodded my head in an agreement. I played with legos took a nap. Played with something else and fell back asleep. I woke up to my dad tapping me on the shoulder hours later.
"Stella your sister is here", he said with his eyes full of tears.
"She is", I said excited and confused.
He took my tiny hand and led me to the room where my mother lay. Even though her hair was in a mess she still looked so graceful , beautiful, and serene. I could tell she was tired.
"Come here Fiona", she said tapping the side of her hospital bed.
I came into the bed and she scooped me next her. In her arms was my new sister , the one I didn't want. This very moment changed my life forever because everything changed I was starstruck in whirl of emotions. I loved her. I studied her squishy little face.
"This your new baby sister Stella Rose McCarthy",she said in a joyful voice.
I looked at her face and tried to poke her chunky cheeks, but my mom stopped me.She giggled at how cute I was. My dad was leaning against the wall staring at the family he created with an amazed expression on his face. My mother looked back and they had this extreme connection with just their gazes, they didn't even have to talk.
And so life went on with Stella the sister I never wanted , but now had and loved.