He wasn't entirely sure what to expect.
Of course Xavier had heard of Rocky Stevens. There wasn't a single person who was remotely a part of the music industry who hadn't seen the video of the lead singer of Flux, what was supposed to be the next greatest rock band, stand up on a table during their album release party and list off everything he hated about his label president. Apparently that had been the last straw for his bandmates, who later that evening decided that replacing the lead singer was in their best interest as a group. And that was the last the world had really seen of Rocky Stevens.
Xavier had heard all of the stories, but that didn't mean that he'd formed any sort of prior opinion of Kasia's father. Despite still being fairly new to the business, Xavier had learned quickly that people's reputations weren't often accurate, so he avoided making judgments until he'd met someone in person. That's what he'd done with Kasia and he was pretty pleased with how things there had turned out. At least, he had been up until he'd screwed up what they had by bringing her father back into her life.
Thus far, Kasia seemed to be handling her father's reappearance pretty well. The pacing had stopped, most likely because she'd run out of Peanut M&Ms, and she was now sitting cross legged on the couch, inspecting her recently curled hair for split ends.
"How are you feeling?" Xavier asked cautiously, not entirely sure how she felt about him at this particular moment in time. On one hand, she had asked him to stay, but on the other, this entire situation was his fault in the first place and it was possible she would hold that against him later.
"I don't know," she shrugged, allowing her hair to fall from between her fingers. "Weird? I don't really know what to say to him."
His eyebrows lifted in surprise. "You've never thought about it? For closure?"
"Nope," she shook her head, popping the 'p'. "I guess I didn't think I'd ever get closure. I figured that if he wanted to be in my life he would have stayed and it's as simple as that."
That was fair enough. More than anything, Xavier wanted to tell her that he would never leave, but he knew now wasn't the right time. And he also didn't want to make promises he couldn't keep because the truth was that he had no idea what the future held and how things would pan out once the tour was over. Besides, she hadn't told him she loved him yet, which meant that just because their relationship was deep and emotional to him didn't mean that she would want it to continue once they no longer saw each other every day.
"Do you want him stick around this time?" Xavier asked, genuinely curious.
She tilted her head to the side as she mulled over this question, eventually settling for lifting one shoulder in a half shrug. "I have no idea. I mean, I've learned to live without him – without either of my parents – and I like where I am right now and I'm so afraid that letting him back into my life is just going to screw that up."
"Maybe he's changed?" he offered, hoping that something good might come out of the mess he'd made.
Kasia let out a bitter laugh and rolled her eyes. "I doubt that. But even if he has, I'm not sure it'll be enough."
He was surprised she wasn't huge on second chances, given her own career trajectory, but he decided not to comment. He was kept from saying anything at all when there was a knock on the dressing room door and Henry poked his head in, his eyes conveying a mixture of confusion and uncertainty. "Hey, Kas, you have a visitor."
"It's alright, Henry," she nodded in assurance, inhaling deeply as she uncrossed her legs and swung them to the floor, shaking out her arms once she was standing up straight. "You can let him in."
Xavier followed her example by standing as well, wondering if she would appreciate him reaching out to hold her hand. He supposed it was worth a try, so he laced his fingers with hers and let out a soft sigh of relief when he glanced to the side to see her smiling gratefully up at him.
Lifting his eyebrows in surprise, Henry stepped aside to push the door open wider and gestured for the person standing in the hallway to enter, shutting the door once he was inside.
Rocky Stevens hadn't aged at all since his glory days as the lead singer of Flux, his dark hair messy and tousled on his head, his blue eyes as crystal clear as ever. He stretched his lips into a slow smile, his startlingly white teeth on display as his gaze landed on his daughter.
"Kassie," he boomed. "I'm so glad you invited me. It's so good to see you."
He was acting as though they'd just seen each other a few days ago, which made Kasia's cold reaction even more understandable. Pulling her hand from Xavier's, she crossed her arms over her chest and glared at her father. "Rocky. I didn't invite you."
Rocky jutted out his lower lip in a childish pout. "Really, Kas? You're not calling me Dad anymore?"
"What in our history makes you think you're deserving of that title?" she shot back, her glare still fiery.
He held her stare for a moment longer before letting out a rueful sigh and nodding, putting his hands up in a defensive position. "You're right. I'm sorry. I guess I was just hoping that you'd forgiven me after five years."
Kasia's lips parted in shock and Xavier imagined she was wondering how her own father could possibly be so oblivious as to think it was that easy. Pressing her lips together again, she lessened the fire in her eyes but kept her gaze stony. "Maybe I would have if you'd made any attempt to contact me."
Nodding guiltily, Rocky cleared his throat before he continued speaking. "I know. I was a coward. You worked so hard for that night and I ruined it and I didn't know how to face you afterwards."
"That one night isn't our problem, Rocky," she shook her head and Xavier watched in awe as she finally said everything she'd ever wanted to say to her father, piled up years of frustration and disappointment that needed to be released, no matter how much she insisted that she didn't need closure. "Our problem is that you were never in my life at all. I mean, at least, not as anything more than an acquaintance I saw every once in a while. Do you how often I cried myself to sleep as a kid, wondering why my own father didn't love me enough to actually want to spend time with me?"
"I was young and stupid," he sputtered out, as though that was a legitimate excuse. "But now, now-"
"Now what?" she interrupted, her voice seething with anger and her eyes flashing. "Now you're older and wiser? Do you really expect me to believe that? What makes this time different than every other time you've let me down?"
"Because this time I'm sober," he replied softly. "I have been for over a year."
There was palpable tension in the silence as Kasia processed these words, Xavier's eyebrows lifting slightly in surprise. Tilting her head to the side, she studied her father, as though she'd be able to tell just by staring at him whether or not he was lying and Xavier decided that she probably could, seeing as he always felt as though she saw right through him.
"Really?" she said, her expression unreadable because she still wasn't completely convinced.
Nodding, he reached into the pocket of his jeans and pulled out a small chip, extending towards his daughter, who took it from his grasp warily, turning it over and inspecting it from all sides before handing it back, nodding that she believed his words. "Okay."
"Okay?" Rocky repeated hopefully, taking a cautious step forward. "What does that mean?"
"It means," she replied slowly, choosing her words carefully, "that I still don't trust you completely, but I appreciate that you're taking steps in the right direction."
"Does this mean we can start over?"
"I don't know," she admitted. "Starting over might be hard because it's not like I can just forget everything that's happened. But maybe we can move forward."
Rocky let out a sigh of relief and lifted the corners of his lips into a small smile. "I'd like that."
"Not to interrupt the moment," Henry called out after he opened the door and stuck his head into the dressing room. "But Xavier, you better start getting ready. It's almost full out there."
Xavier nodded, stepping towards the door, but was stopped when Kasia reached out to grab his hand, her eyes conveying that she needed to speak to him before she turned her attention back to her father. "Are you staying for the show?"
"I'd love to," Rocky smiled widely. "I'll stop by here again after?"
"Sounds good," Kasia replied, keeping a small smile on her lips until her father exited the dressing room, closing the door behind him when he stepped into the hall and leaving her and Xavier alone once more. She squeezed his hand one more time before dropping it to flatten her palm against his chest, tilting her head back so she could look him in the eyes. "I wanted to say thank you."
"For what?" he lifted his eyebrows in surprise, his hands coming to rest at her waist out of habit. "All I did was stand there and not say anything. That was all you. Very badass, by the way, the way you called him out on his shit."
"I know," she laughed lightly, picking at the neckline of his black t-shirt. "And it felt great. Maybe I did need to get some things off my chest after all."
"Well, I'm glad it helped," he stretched his lips into a smile. "I was afraid I fucked everything up."
"Me too," she admitted, staring at her fingers. "I thought it was going to be horrible, but I'm glad I said everything I wanted to say and I'm glad that you let me do it without adding any of your opinions, because I know you have your own thoughts on my relationship with my father."
He still felt horrible for meddling in matters that didn't concern him. After all, just because his thoughts on her relationship with her father were different from hers didn't mean his were valid. Especially seeing as, he wasn't the one in the relationship. "Just for future reference, I promise not to get in the middle of your family issues any more. I know my opinion on it isn't really relevant. It's your family, not mine."
"But your opinion is relevant," she insisted, lifting her gaze to meet his. "Your opinion matters to me so much. More than you know."
"It does?" his smile widened.
"Yeah," she laughed softly, lifting one shoulder into a shrug. "But I think that's just a side effect of being in love."
He blinked as he processed her words, wondering if she really had just said what he'd hoped she would say since he'd told her how he felt on that hotel balcony a few weeks ago. She had slipped that word so casually into the conversation that it was like they were talking about the weather, but she had to know much it meant to him.
"What did you just say?" he asked, checking to make sure he'd heard her correctly.
The wide, genuine smile which stretched her lips indicated that he had, but her words still came out teasing. "Are you really going to make me say it?"
"Oh, yeah," he smirked, though his heart rate had spiked a bit.
Her smile widened even more and she clutched his shirt in her fist and stared into his eyes to ensure he saw her sincerity. "I love you, Xavier Spiers."
He couldn't help but grin goofily as he absorbed her words, leaning down to kiss her soundly on the lips and mumbling against her mouth. "I love you, too."
They laughed as they kissed and they were still laughing when they pulled apart and it wasn't until Henry stuck his head into the room again to tell Xavier to hurry the hell up that they finally pulled apart, grinning like idiots.
"I should get going," he said softly, taking a step back to create some distance because he knew that if he didn't, he'd never be able to stop kissing her. "Good luck. I'll see you after."
"You too," she whispered, watching as he turned towards the door and stepped into the hallway.
Xavier couldn't stop smiling as he headed towards the side of the stage to find his guitar, thinking that finally, everything seemed to be falling into place.