He wasn't sure he'd ever woken up with a smile on his face before. It was a surreal feeling, but one that he wouldn't mind enjoying more often.
He was smiling before his eyes even fluttered open because the memories of the previous night were already flooding his brain.
Honestly, he was a little surprised it had taken this long to happen. Despite his and Kasia's differences, the tension had always been there and finally, it had been released.
Eyes still closed, he turned on his side and reached out an arm to grab his bed buddy, only to find himself grasping at empty sheets. Confused, he groaned as he slowly opened his eyes and blinked a few times to adjust to the light.
She was standing to the side of the bed, wearing his boxers and t-shirt as she stared intently at her phone, scrolling through something on the screen. Her hair was mussed and her eyes looked tired and he was pretty sure he'd never seen someone look so dazzling in his life.
"Hey," he called out, drawing her attention and causing her to smile widely. She didn't blush and he didn't expect her to. Kasia had never been bashful about sex.
"Hey," she returned the greeting, curling her fingers around her phone and dropping it to her side. "So last night was fun."
"Mhmm," he hummed, his lips stretching into a lazy smile. "But I seem to remember you saying something about waking up naked in your bed and that's not happening right now."
"Greedy, greedy," she smirked, setting her phone on the bedside table before raising her knee to the bed and crawling until she was straddling his hips atop the covers. Leaning down, she kissed his lips firmly, smiling against his mouth and smiling wider when she felt him return the gesture.
His hands rested lightly at her hips, his fingers teasing the edge of the worn out t-shirt that was currently covering her torso, which actually belonged to him, itching to feel her skin again. Before he could work up the confidence to allow his hands to travel up her back beneath the shirt, her phone buzzed from the bedside table.
"Are you going to get that?" he mumbled against her lips when it seemed like she was ignoring the call. "It might be Henry."
This statement caused her to detach their lips and cock an eyebrow. "Xavier," she said calmly, her lips threatening to twist into a smirk, "I'm currently straddling you and am about two minutes away from removing my clothing. Are you really thinking about Henry right now?"
"Nope," he shook his head, eyes wide and heart rate increasing. Grinning she leaned down again, this time pressing kisses along his jawline before turning her attention to his bare chest. She was in the midst of kissing a line from the base of his neck to his naval when her phone buzzed again. "But I think Henry's thinking about you."
Letting out a sigh that sent tingling sensations across his skin, she sat up straight and reached over to grab her phone, shooting him a glare as she accepted the call.
"Good morning Henry...Yes, I'm aware we're going to Chicago today...Yes, I know we're leaving in just over an hour...Yes, I'll be ready..." There was a pause, in which she shot Xavier a deviously twinkling look. "No, I have no idea where Xavier is...That's weird...If I see him, I'll be sure to let Jack know...Alright, see you soon."
She laughed as she hung up the phone and swung her leg over to climb off the bed, causing him to pout in response. Rolling her eyes, she gripped her phone tightly and began to walk towards her bathroom. "Jack's looking for you. And Henry said he'll kill me if I'm late."
"Right," Xavier groaned, sitting up in bed and rubbing his face with his palms. "And now is the time you choose to start heeding Henry's warnings."
"Come on, pouty boy," she chuckled, pausing in the bathroom door. "We got a big day ahead."
"You're wearing my clothes," he called out before she could shut the door entirely. A few moments later, his boxers and shirt were flung through the slightly cracked doorway onto the carpeted bedroom floor.
Sighing, he pushed back the covers and padded over to retrieve his clothes, wondering how his morning had taken such a dramatic turn. He pulled on his boxers and shirt and was in the midst of buttoning up his jeans and ensuring his wallet was still in the back pocket when he heard Kasia calling his name from the bathroom doorway.
"What?" he raised his eyebrows at her head, poking out from the slightly ajar door.
She opened it a little wider so that she could stick out a hand and extended a finger in a come hither motion. He obeyed silently and didn't have time to look down when she opened the door a little wider because was up on her toes, kissing him soundly. Before he could respond, she shut the door, leaving him to curse under his breath in the bedroom.
Apparently the progression of their relationship didn't make things between them less complex.
Grabbing his phone off the floor, he stuffed it in his front pocket, knowing he probably had a couple dozen missed calls, and slipped quietly out of her room. He rounded the corner towards his own room, hoping he'd have enough time to hop in the shower and think of a reasonable excuse as to why he hadn't been answering his phone, but found that plan shot to hell when he saw his manager pacing outside his hotel room door.
Jack looked relieved upon seeing Xavier, but quickly transitioned to anger, his greeting wrought with frustration. "Where the hell have you been?"
"I...took a walk," Xavier replied, digging his wallet out of his pocket to remove his room key.
"A walk?" Jack raised an eyebrow. "In the same clothes you were wearing yesterday?"
"Well, yeah," Xavier shrugged, sliding the key into the lock and pushing the door open. "I didn't want to get any new clothes dirty."
That was actually a completely logical reason to be wearing the same clothes, but he could tell Jack wasn't buying the bullshit. Squinting his eyes, Jack scratched the top of his head in frustration, sighing before he continued. "Xavier...you know I don't give a damn where you stick your dick, but please be careful."
Xavier knew the way he responded to that statement was of vital importance. On one hand, he wasn't as comfortable lying to his manager as Kasia, but on the other, he didn't want to give Jack the impression that there was more going on than was reality. Besides, Xavier hardly had a clue what was actually happening. So he went for the vaguest response possible.
"Ok..." He made sure it sounded sort of questioning so Jack couldn't tell whether he was agreeing or mentally calling him an idiot.
Jack rolled his eyes and sighed. "Go get ready. We leave soon."
Nodding, Xavier waved goodbye to his manager and stepped inside his room. After a very long, very cold shower, he packed his bag – which basically consisted of randomly shoving his dirty clothes into a duffel – before heading down to where the intimidating black SUV which was sent to take him to the private airport would be waiting.
Kasia had left twenty minutes before, as planned, but the crowd of paparazzi outside still remained. Despite the fact that Xavier had been Kasia's date to the music awards, Jack and Henry were still insistent on making it seem as though the two singers despised being in the same room. Perhaps they figured Xavier would have been invited to the awards show anyway, and arriving with Kasia was just convenient. Xavier didn't understand the logic of the separate cars to the airport, but he knew better than to argue with his manager, so he obeyed his orders to leave after Kasia was safely on her way.
Paparazzi wasn't something that Xavier had really gotten used to. They hadn't gotten to the point where they waited outside his house like they did with Kasia, but if they saw him walking around the streets of major cities, they would flock to him like birds to a spare piece of bread on the sidewalk. The only reason they were still outside the hotel was because Kasia had just left and they usually waited a few minutes to see if anyone else famous would come out. What they got instead was Xavier, which seemed to be good enough for them.
He held his breath as he pushed through the door, glad his dark Ray-Bans were keeping his eyes shielded from the flashing lights. The questions were being shouted from every direction and he felt Jack's hand squeezing his shoulder, indicating he shouldn't say a word.
He was glad because he didn't know how to answer half the questions anyway. There were the nice ones asking about his time in LA and how he enjoyed the award show, there were the much too personal ones asking him whether he was crushing on the lead actress he'd never met from the next biggest blockbuster, and of course, there were the questions about Kasia. People had stopped asking if they were dating because of the lack of more than platonic pictures and videos, but they still liked to ask about the friendship or the possibility of dating in the future.
"Would you ever date Kasia Stevens?"
As instructed, he didn't answer, nodding his thanks the security guard holding open the car door, pausing on the step up when he heard the follow up, which wasn't so much a question as a comment.
"Yeah, she said she'd never date you either."
Xavier wanted to ask the paparazzi where he'd gotten that information, but he knew Jack would kill him for initiating contact, so he plopped down on the black leather seat and stared out the window, wondering what he should believe. Kasia wouldn't want to label their relationship, claiming it would just make things more complicated, and he could agree with that as long as he knew that it wasn't all in his head, that a future between them was a possibility. As the car slowly merged onto the busy street, he made a mental note to confront Kasia on the plane.
They arrived at the tarmac twenty minutes later and he thanked the security guard for taking his bag before he boarded Kasia's private jet. She was sitting in a large leather seat, her shoes kicked off and feet folded beneath her, one hand secured around a can of Arizona iced tea and the other scrolling through her phone.
She looked up as he settled into the seat across from her, shooting him a friendly smile. "Hey."
He didn't expect a blush or giggle, but perhaps some subtle acknowledgement of the fact that their limbs had been tangled together mere hours before would have been nice. "Hey."
"Do you want something to drink?" she asked as she took a sip of her tea. She was obsessed with the beverage and had cans constantly on hand in her hotels and dressing rooms. He quite liked her passion for it because when he kissed her, she tasted of sweet lemon.
"I'm fine," he replied quietly, avoiding eye contact as he racked his brain for the best way to start his desired conversation.
"What the fuck is your problem?"
Well, that was one way to go.
He raised his eyebrows in surprise as he looked at her. "Excuse me?"
She rolled her eyes, dropping her phone between her crossed legs. "You're upset about something. What is it?"
"What makes you think I'm upset about something?"
She shot him a glare, leaning back into her chair. "This conversation would go a lot quicker if you'd just be straight with me."
"How ironic," he spat out. "You telling me to express my feelings more clearly."
"What's that supposed to mean?" she shot back.
Before he could reply, Jack and Henry walked past them to the seats in the back of the plane and the captain announced that they were ready for takeoff. Sighing, Xavier strapped himself in, still wound up from their argument. He took deep breaths to calm himself down as the plane lifted into the air. He'd never particularly liked flying, but due to his hectic work schedule, he'd had to get used to it.
"What do you want me to say, Xavier?" she spoke quietly, her eyes shifting to see if their managers were listening in. Jack was deeply absorbed in a magazine and Henry was drifting off to sleep. Her direct gaze settled on him. "Do you want me to say that I like you? I like you. But you already know that. So what's the problem?"
"I don't know," he sighed in frustration, running a hand through his already messy hair. "I guess I just wish we could label it."
"But we can't," she said simply, shrugging her shoulders. She set her iced tea down in a cup holder and leaned forward slightly. "Xavier, I promise you I'm not saying we should keep this between us because I think it'll be more exciting or because I want to seem wounded or mysterious. You might think you want full honesty, but I know you well enough to know you'd hate the consequences."
"How so?" he asked, genuinely intrigued by the comment.
She chewed on her bottom lip, thinking a moment before she replied. "How often do you get asked about me?"
"In what context?"
"In any context," she shrugged. "By anyone; fans you're taking pictures with, interviewers, paparazzi. If you had to count, how many times a day would you say you get asked a question that has my name in it?"
He didn't really keep track but he knew it was a decent amount. "About ten?"
"Right," she nodded. "Well, that's a fraction of what it would be if people even thought we were together."
"You think highly of yourself, don't you?" he smirked.
She shook her head. "This isn't about ego. People are fascinated by disaster and my past behavior has tended to be just that, so they're now fixated on everything I do. If they link us together in any way that isn't strictly professional, when people are with you, the questions they ask won't be about your music. They'll be about our relationship, about what I think of your music, about whether we'll ever work together now that we're a couple. Is that really what you want? For your life to no longer be your own? Because that's not what I want for you."
There were a million things he wanted to say, but he also knew she had a point. He needed to be creating buzz for his music on his own, not using her name to increase his popularity.
"So that's that?" he said, feeling a sense of calm wash over him. Even if it wasn't the outcome he wanted, at least now he had a solid explanation.
"I guess so," she said, her lips lifting into a small smile. "Are we cool?"
"Yeah," he nodded, unable to keep himself from smiling.
"Good," she grinned. "I'm gonna take a nap, I'm a little worn out from last night." She paused and twisted her lips into a smirk. "Plus, I'm hoping for a repeat in Chicago."
"I'll see what I can do," he laughed, settling back into his chair.
Her eyes fluttered closed as she leaned her head back and he watched her until he saw her breathing become slow and steady. Turning his head, he stared out at the window at the clouds around them and mentally made a list of all the things he needed to do on stage that night, which included not falling, physically of course, because emotionally, that ship had sailed.