Sabrina's POV:
I woke up this morning feeling groggy to Ryan shaking me saying,
"Wake up. Wake up. Sabrina. Sab. Sab. Wake up."
I feel my head pound immediately when I open my eyes, which makes me groan really loud,
"Holy fuck."
He rubs my arm that I lift up to cover my eyes and says,
"I know I know it sucks. But your mom said for you to go home before Rowan wakes up. You need to talk to her."
I squint my eyes and say groggily,
"I need it to just be me and her when I tell her then. And yeah obviously it's gotta be right when she wakes up."
He says,
"Alright sassy. Just tell your mom you want a day alone with her I don't know. Or oh I got it. I'm gonna call her."
I give him an 'are you crazy?!' Look but I'm too tired and weak to stop him.
On the phone:
Ryan: hey Mrs. Carpenter Sabrina's coming home in a second and she was just saying you guys should all go out to breakfast this morning.
Mrs carpenter: with out the girls? I don't know Ryan sweetie they're finally home we don't wanna leave them
Ryan: she said they just want a little bit of alone and quiet time at the house so it's not all rowdy. Besides its Christmas Eve morning. They are home for about 2 weeks still.
Mrs carpenter: well I guess if that's what she wants then okay sounds great. Tell them well be back in 2 hours.
Ryan: cool she just said from the other room that she says okay bye and she loves you!
End of phone call.
I say smiling as I'm rubbing my face,
"That was genius. Okay I'm heading over. Wish me luck.."
My tone drops with that last sentence.
I get up and feel a lump in my throat and I try to swallow over it.
He throws me a water bottle and says,
"Please drink all of this you need water. And good luck babe. I'll walk you to the door."
And follows me downstairs.
He opens the door from behind me and I turn around and smile. I kiss his cheek and say,
"Thank you. Seriously. Thank you for helping me out."
He smiles back and says,
"Of course bud, it was no problem. Anything for my best friend."
I smile and wave and leave to head back over to my house.
I see everyone is leaving as I enter. They wave good bye and I do the same.
I check the time is 9:30 so Rowan should be asleep still.
I walk into my room and see that she is.
I'm not gonna lie.. I just feel plain awkward now.
I sit on the edge of the bed and put my head in my hands.
I hear stirring from behind me and Rowan say quietly,
"Babe?"
I breathe in deeply knowing that's the last time she'll be calling me that.
All I reply with is,
"Hm."
She puts her arms around my waist and it makes me stiffen up.
She says concerned,
"What's wrong?"
When she asks that it starts to just piss me off. How long did she think she was gonna keep this from me?
Did she think I'd never find out about her cheating and lying to me?"
I release from her grip and stand up quickly.
As I'm pacing around the room I say,
"Rowan. Look me in the eyes and tell me the truth."
I stop and face her. She looks at me worriedly and concerned.
I say,
"Would you ever lie to me?"
She stares right into my eyes with no hesitation and says,
"No."
I breathe out air I've been holding in through my mouth and bring my hands behind my head as I pace again.
She says,
"What's going on?"
I say angrily,
"Hey why don't you show me that video you posted of me on Twitter."
She raises her eyebrow and says confused,
"Uh okay."
I look over at her and watch her as she opens Twitter.
She goes to her profile, but on the side of her time line she sees the top trendings.
I see her already wide eyes widen even more as she presses on the first one that pertains to this whole situation.
She stutters,
"Sab you-think-I.. No. It's not- I didn't-"
I say feeling the lump in my throat come back,
"Rowan how could you. I trusted you. I told you I love you. I brought you to my damn families house for Christmas for 2 weeks and you dare to-"
I can't go on with my sentence. I start to break down as I feel the tears coming out of my eyes more than they were.
She says crying out of fear herself,
"Sabrina please it's not what happened! Please stop. Wait. Let me explain- I didn't kiss Jake!"
I say,
"Well it sure looks like you are! Don't tell me that's photoshopped because it's not. I helped you through that breakup. I was always there for you. You said you hated him. Now you do this. Maybe he'll be there for you for this breakup."
By now I'm not holding back my tears at all.
She says panicked,
"Sabrina stop! Wait! Please.. He kissed me! I didn't kiss back. Listen. I never lied to you. I really did go to have him apologize and accept and I expected to just go along with our lives.. Well that's not what he wanted. He told me he wanted me back and then started trash talking our relationship and I went to go walk out and then he just whispered right to my face and kissed me. Of course the paparazzi didn't catch my reaction, but I slapped him across the face and ran.
That's when I texted you that I missed you and I felt safer around you. Baby I wouldn't ever do that you. I swear I'm not a liar. You can't believe right away without letting me talk first. I never told you about it because I didn't want this to happen. I didn't know how you would take it! Please I'm telling the honest truth. Don't give up on us because of some media bullshit. I love you too much."
I feel my face burn. I'm just an idiot.
An insecure, bitchy, drunk and hungover idiot.
I don't even want to look at her. I'm too embarrassed. I overreacted.
Well in my defense,
What was I supposed to think?
She slowly approaches me with my hands still clenched in fists.
She softly and gently kisses my lips and leans her head on my shoulder with her hugging me.
I don't say anything or do anything. I don't know how to react.
Why do I deserve anyone after that?
And yet she still loves me.
She grabs my waist and pulls us back down on the bed, me on the outside facing her.
Our bodies about a foot apart but our legs intertwined by her.
I look slightly below her face, at the ends of her hair in front of her.
I keep a straight face thinking about why this even happened? I mean I caused it all.
She moves her face close to me kissing my cheeks, lips, nose, forehead, and neck all lightly and sweetly.
She moves my hand down that's propping my head up and my head falls down on the pillow.
She laughs a little and I don't even change my expression. I feel like a fucking douche.
Why isn't she mad at me for assuming the worst?
She holds my hand and squeezes it.
She kisses me again and whimpers for me to kiss her back.
All I do is let out a slight and quiet groan.
She says,
"Kiss me you baby."
I look at her eyes for the first time for a second and I see her smile.
I give an obviously fake side smile and look away again.
She kisses me and I kiss her back, but it doesn't feel right. She should be mad at me. I don't deserve her angelic kisses as rewards.
I don't deserve her.
I say in basically a whisper as my voice cracks,
"Why do you love me?"
She moves closer to me and cradles her head in my neck with her arms around me and says,
"Because you're the most adorable beautiful funniest most perfect person I've ever met. You're there for me no matter how ridiculous. You're my co-star. We've done everything together the past few years and we've handled every situation that requires us to grow up a lot for our age together. You being happy just makes me happy inside. Seeing your smile and hearing your laugh is the most warming thing to me. What you want to do is what I want to do. If anything, this will just be the first argument of many. Sabrina Annlynn Carpenter I love you more than you'll ever be able to comprehend. And no stupid action of yours can change that even if you desperately tried."
She pulls back a little so she can look at my face and she mouths 'I love you'
I look back at her as I'm taking it all in, just looking and admiring her beauty.
She whispers,
"Say something."
I kiss her and say,
"I'll never let you go."
She smiles and I do slightly back and we wrap our arms around each other with my head under her head and on her shoulder breathing in the smells of her conditioner she used in her hair.
I feel my eye lids getting heavier and I let myself sleep feeling better in her arms.
Long chapter yaaaay but I told y'all not to hate me😂😂
I wouldn't break them up!
Thanks for reading and all the support.
Next chapter might be in a few days I have a busy weekend ahead of me. Plus I have no idea what to do next so give me suggestions! You. Yes you. You reading this. Give me suggestions.
Love you guys
Xoxo Jackie💗