"Good morning, love! Or should I say, good evening?" I chirped exuberantly, taking a sip from my bitter espresso as I wait for her to come to her senses. I saw her rub her pretty doe eyes as she adjusted her vision to the bright light that I casted upon her, smiling in content as I caught a glimpse of her perfect features.
My Althea, I sighed dreamily.
"Is it too bright?" I asked her.
"Yes, baby," she answered almost too groggily. I giggled in response for I couldn't stop myself from feeling all this tingly little butterflies at the pit of my stomach whenever I hear her call me baby. I pulled my heavy drapes to draw the light out, taking a bite from my breakfast of bagel with cream cheese.
"I'm sorry, it's been raining for days and this is the first time in days that we've seen the sun," I explained. "All better?" I asked.
"Yes," she smiled lazily. I saw her pull her blanket up as she said, "good morning, baby."
My heart melted at the sight of her— her tousled hair, half smile with a dimple to match, and her sweet husky voice. I know I'm fucked up the moment I laid my eyes on her.
"What took you so long to call?" she pouted as she fixed her headphones on her ear.
"I'm sorry, I just finished a bunch of paperwork before calling you," I apologized.
"I fell asleep waiting for you," she continued to whine like a little baby— my baby. "I know, love. I just have a lot work to finish. Anyway, how's your day?", I asked while adjusting the migraine inducing glare that is coming from my laptop.
We've had this routine for one year, five months, and 12 days to be exact— I call her when I wake up just in time before she goes to bed or vice versa. Having a long distance relationship was never easy, but we had no choice. Life back home is already hard as it is, a couple of years apart is really not a big price to pay if means securing our future.
"Same old, same old. Business is starting to pick up and I hope it stays that way, how about you?" she asked sincerely.
"Work's pretty stressful, my boss has been all up my ass the entire week, I've been working long hours and still it's not enough, I even bring home some of my work sometimes. But it's all good, at least he pays me double for my overtime."
"Don't tire yourself out too much, have you been taking good care of yourself? Do you remember taking your vitamins? Do you even eat your breakfast?" she asked like a worried mother, making my heart warm as I saw utmost concern in her eyes.
"I'm eating right now, mom," I rolled my eyes at her. "Don't worry about me, I'm perfectly fine," I added.
"Let's hope that business will continuously do good so you don't have to leave again next time," she said sadly.
"Don't worry, love, six more months and I'll come back home to you," I promised her.
She sighed heavily as she lift her hands and touched the screen— pretending that she can feel me beneath her fingertips. "I miss you so much," she whispered.
"I miss you, too," I breathed.
I puckered my lips and blew her a kiss, wishing that even if we're hundreds and thousands of miles apart, I can make her feel my love. She pretended to catch almost too excitedly, her big anime eyes almost disappeared as she giggled at our silliness.
"Give Miggy a good night kiss for me, okay?" I reminded her.
"Of course," she smiled as she tried to suppress a yawn.
"Sleepy?" I asked and she nodded her sleepy head.
"Okay, have a good night's sleep, I love you,"
"Have a great day, baby. I love you too," she answered in our usual spiel before she drifted off to deep slumber.
*****
"Hi, baby," her beautiful face appeared on the screen of my phone as she smiled softly. I pressed the loudspeaker button, her gentle voice reverberating in the small confines of my office as I frantically type my presentation that is due in half an hour.
"Is this a bad time?" I hear her say.
"Just a bit, but I have time," I lied and continued," what's up, love? Why did you call?"
"Nothing, I just wanted to hear your voice," she gazed at me tenderly.
I stopped everything I'm doing and solely focused my attention on her. This has been happening way too frequently, she calls me at the wee hours of the night back home while I'm at work. Honestly, it's always a bad time when she calls, it's either I'm in a meeting or I have a presentation due in about an hour or so. I'm always busy, especially now that the company I'm working for decided to sponsor a major event, but I always make time for her. Always.
"Missed me?" I teased her lightheartedly.
A coy smile formed on her soft lips as she took a sip from her favourite hand made mug that she had for ages. "Maybe," she said seductively as she let her silky robe slip off from her tanned shoulders, her deep set orbs drawing me in. She raised her eyebrows as if to challenge me as she bit her lip to lure me in her trap.
I gulped— long and hard. My temptress is seducing me and I am too damn seducible, and if she continues to do so, I may be too weak to resist her charms. I immediately plugged in my earphones and nervously whispered in between my teeth, "oh my goodness, Althea, stop that! I'm at work," I husked as small beads of sweat started to form on my forehead. I looked outside my glass door to see if anyone saw my unease or heard us through the thin walls of my office space— thank goodness, everyone is too busy to care.
She pulled her robe back up and laughed heartily, leaning farther from the screen as she rubbed her hands around the circumference of her trusty old mug to warm her up.
"God, I hate you," I muttered under my breath.
"No, you don't," she finished, a bit breathless from laughing at her silly ploy. She picked up her mug and took a sip from her drink, wincing a bit as she did so. I saw her shuffle around as she poured a large dollop of honey on her warm beverage.
"What are you drinking?" I asked curiously, although I have an idea on what it is.
"English Breakfast tea," she smiled.
"Yuck," I said in disgust. "You're not English, it's not breakfast yet, and you definitely hate tea. I don't understand why you keep on drinking that," I said as I scrunched my nose repugnantly.
Althea and I are huge coffee drinkers, we even have an inside joke that people who does not drink coffee should not be trusted. We love coffee so much that it is almost practically running through our veins, but for some odd reason, Althea almost always procures a warm cup of tea whenever she's feeling lonely.
"I know right, it tastes vile," she muttered almost too dismissively. I know Althea like the back of my hand and I quickly noticed how her demeanor slightly changed.
"Why do you keep drinking it then?" I asked curiously.
She sighed and placed the mug back on her table, her dreamy eyes looking everywhere— clearly avoiding mine.
"I don't know, there's a familiar sense of comfort that I always associate with tea," she mumbled. "Or maybe I'm just really odd," she giggled out of character.
She stood up and carefully placed the mug on the kitchen sink and made her way back towards the screen, "hey, I don't want to keep you long, I know you're busy," she started.
"I am actually, I have loads to finish," I answered as I remembered my presentation that is due in about... shit. 10 minutes. "I have to go, love," I said frazzled. She sent me a sweet kiss in front of the camera as I bid her goodbye.
"I'll catch you later, baby, I love you!" she voiced.
"I love you too," I replied as I ended our call.
*****
"Hi, love! Look where I am!" I said excitedly the moment she picked up her phone. I know she's already sleeping soundly on her bed but I decided to call her nonetheless because this event is so important to me. She squinted her eyes as she adjusted to the screen, smiling as it dawned on her where I am.
"Is that it, babe?" she grinned widely.
"Yep! Here it is— my baby!" I said with pride as I showed her the place with my camera phone.
"I thought I'm your baby?" she pouted, the tiny slits of her eyes widened as she finally looked at the convention hall. "Wow, you did really well, baby. All your hard work finally paid off," she said too proudly.
Our company is the major sponsor and organizer for this year's Peace Corps Volunteer Business Seminar— a 5 day event wherein participants and aspiring volunteers all over the world will come and listen to the Peace Corps volunteers as they tell their inspiring stories and plans for the small communities that need their help. This is the first major event that I've organized and has been my baby for the past few months. Seeing something you've worked really hard for finally come to life is really worth all the stress and sleepless nights— I couldn't be more proud of myself.
I switched back to the rear camera to show her the stage where the woman of the hour was passionately talking about her life changing experiences. I've heard so much about this lady— a young professional who decided to leave everything behind and make a difference to the world. I was enthralled by her honest enthusiasm as she speaks about her current plans regarding HIV/Aids, nutrition, and deforestation in Malawi when I heard Althea speak on the other end of the line.
"What event did you organize again?" she asked as I hinted a slight tremble in her voice.
"Peace Corps," I said enthusiastically, oblivious to Althea's sudden change of mood. "Here, you wanna see?" I asked as I adjusted the camera and solely focused on the guest speaker, not waiting for her response.
"From what I heard, she's one of the top young entrepreneurs from her country, but all of a sudden she thought that she has too much money for such a young age and decided to drop everything and volunteered for the Peace Corps wherein she donated most of her earnings. Can you believe that?" I told Althea, clearly impressed at this young and gorgeous woman right before me.
"Looks like somebody developed a crush," Althea deadpanned, unimpressed with my current fangirling.
"Psh. I just admire her courage and selflessness, that's all," I excused. Althea rolled her eyes and scoffed, "how can you even say she's selfless? You don't even know her."
"Just look at everything she's done for the small communities in Malawi, Vietnam, Ecuador, the whole world even! Take a look at her clothes, it practically screams selflessness," I gushed. The woman has her hair up in a neat pony tail, with a frayed black button down shirt covering her white Peace Corps tee to match her light washed ripped jeans. Pair it all up with her perfectly tanned and toned body and her drop dead gorgeous features to finish off her look— this woman screams perfection, and she doesn't even need all the frills unlike some of the volunteers here who are dressed to the nines. The way she brings herself and the way she exudes confidence and passion is a sight to behold for everyone in this convention hall. Her beauty and simplicity is simply captivating, Althea might be right— I think I'm developing a major girl crush. I mean, who wouldn't, right?
"Whatever," I hear her say over the phone as I continued to watch the woman in awe. "You know what, it seems like you're really busy, I'll talk to you later," she said disappointedly.
"Awww, are you jealous, love?" I cooed, amused at her childish behavior.
"No... I'm really not. I'm just... I'm just really tired so can we continue this later?" she said somberly, the tired look in her eyes brought out a certain sadness that I've been seeing for quite some time— especially now. I didn't want to overthink things so I just decided to let it go. Maybe she's just really tired, or maybe her mood turned sour because of my sudden admiration over the woman on stage. My Althea— always the jealous one. Whatever it is, I know it will be cured by a good night's sleep, so half-heartedly, I agreed and said, "okay, sweet dreams, love."
And the phone went dead.
*****
Today's the third day of our event, I'm already dog tired and can't wait for this to be over soon. I walked swiftly towards the holding room lugging my heavy hand bag as I quickly opened the door, making a beeline towards my station. I checked my trusty old wristwatch and sighed in relief as I made it just in time before my boss arrives with a few minutes to spare.
I immediately made my way towards the refreshments table after I set down my things to get my daily caffeine fix. I noticed a tissue paper stuck on my heel as I grabbed an empty cup, I reached for it as I balanced myself with my free hand when a swift motion almost knocked me down.
"Shit," I gasped as I grabbed the nearest solid thing I could reach— a set of strong arms. "What the—," my tongue got caught as my eyes were met by a pair of bright almond orbs.
"I'm sorry, it's my fault," she said apologetically in an all too familiar thick accent that I do not recognize. British? French? American? I couldn't tell. It sounded like a mix of everything.
I snappily composed myself as I recognized who she is— Peace Corps girl. Being the organizer of the event, I swallowed my unease and started a conversation with one of the most important guest of our event. "Hey, you're the speaker from the other day! It's nice to finally bump into you. Literally," I laughed nervously as I flashed her a bright smile.
"Oh, hi there, you must be one of the organizers," she smiled brightly upon checking the badge around my neck. I held her hand out to give me a firm hand shake as I flinched slightly as the warmth of her hand came in contact with my sweaty palms. She released my hands and pointed out to the espresso machine, wordlessly asking me if I want a cup. "Sure," I whispered as I nodded my head, she immediately poured me a steaming cup of coffee, handing it to me as I gladly accepted it.
"How about you?" I asked courteously as I noticed that she didn't get one for herself.
"I don't drink coffee, I'm actually looking for tea," she said sheepishly as she leafed through the contents of the wooden box of tea packets.
"What exactly are you looking for?" I asked.
"English Breakfast, do you have one?"
English Breakfast. That hits exactly like home. I don't know what exactly is happening, but my heart pounded a bit faster when she said 'English Breakfast', all the while she flashed me a gorgeous smile that greatly resembles someone who's also too fond of that particular drink back home— my Althea.
"I'm sure there's one in there," I replied, hoping that she wouldn't notice that my voice cracked.
She took her time as she thumbed through the selection of teas, humming to a vaguely familiar melody that I cannot recall, while I mentally cursed myself for being too awkward. I took a deep breath and started again, she obviously doesn't look like she's much of a talker, but something inside is telling me to keep talking to her. "So where are you planning your next adventure? East Timor? Cambodia? Laos?" I asked her eagerly, trying to keep her interested.
She found one last bag of English Breakfast and poured herself a cup of hot water. She paused as I interrupted her sweet humming and sighed for awhile before answering me, earning me a girlish lopsided smile. "This is my last year to volunteer," she muttered.
"What? Why?" I asked in shock. "If you don't mind me asking," I quickly added.
"Priorities," she said slyly. "I think it's time for me to come home to find love," saying like it's a big damn secret. She grinned at me coyly and I felt blood started to pool on my cheeks. I don't know what is up with this woman, all I know is that she's giving me this strange feeling at the pit of my stomach.
Before I even embarrass myself, I heard my phone ring and saw that it's Althea. Saved by the— ring? I signaled her that I have to pick it up, and she nodded in understanding. "See you around," she waved at me dismissively. I noticed a black tattoo strategically placed at the side of her wrist as she held her hand up to bid me goodbye. My brows furrowed as I noticed how eerily similar it is to Althea's hieroglyphics tattoo, although the characters are different— the placement is uncannily the same.
She sauntered away to the tune she was humming to awhile ago as she graced the rest of us with her radiance. There it is again, the sinking feeling at the bottom of my stomach as I watched her move in awe.
I finally understood this strange and unfamiliar feeling I'm having— it's because she eerily reminds me of Althea. I shook my head in denial as I picked up the phone to hear the voice of the person I miss the most.
"Hello, baby?" she said.
"I'm so glad you called, love," I sighed in relief, the strange feeling I had over that woman was suddenly washed over and long forgotten by the mere sound of Althea's voice.
*****
"Are you out, love?" I asked her while I furiously typed on my laptop to finish a paperwork that I should have finished three days ago. My first major event last month was a major success and now my boss has been giving me project after project, which has taken all my spare time— even my few moments with Althea.
"Yes," she said timidly as she sipped from her tiny white cup. "I'm at the coffee shop down town," she explained.
That coffee shop has always been a significant place for us— it is where we first met. The place was unusually packed that day as I grabbed my third cup of coffee after I screwed up my fifth job interview. I was having a really bad day, week even— some sort of mercury retrograde, when I noticed a lone figure at the secluded part of the coffee shop who seems to be having a worse day than me.
It's true when they say that lonely souls purposely meet, for my feet suddenly had a mind of its own, and made its way towards the girl— Althea. She was almost in tears as she ripped a piece of paper to shreds, when I startled her and asked if it was okay if I take the empty seat next to her. She was nursing a hangover as she eagerly told me her sad story— a stranger.
She was ripping a song she made for her girlfriend— or ex-girlfriend, rather. Her long legged, half-European, half-Filipino ex-girlfriend— whom I've heard nothing but praises coming from her broken heart— broke her promises and left her for the world. Literally. Her seemingly perfect ex-girlfriend had a major quarter life crisis and decided to leave her and explore the world to find herself— a tragic yet cliche love story.
Althea was left devastated and heart broken, while she had no idea that she's slowly making my heart beat faster with each word she utters. I think I loved her right then and there as she pined over a love lost. She continued to nurse her hangover, while I began to nurse her broken heart.
She left her and she decided to move on, thinking that she shouldn't settle for a love less than what she deserves.
"It's late, why are you still there? Reminiscing, perhaps?" I teased her, subtly reminding her of our first meeting in that exact same place.
"Maybe," she said in that half-smirk that I absolutely adore. She picked up her pen and scribbled away on her trusty journal that I haven't seen with her in ages, our promise ring glistening on her ring finger as she did so— a vow we made to stay together for better or for worse.
"Are you writing again?" I asked surprised.
"Yeah, once in a while. Just finishing something that I've started," she explained.
"Why? Are you sad?" I asked in concern.
Althea loves writing. She writes quotes, short stories, poems, and even songs— a thing she does whenever she's feeling lonely. I mean, she used to write— that's what she told me. But she suddenly stopped writing when we got together— saying that she has no reason to be lonely anymore— meaning that she has nothing left to write. I've never seen her pick up that journal ever since then.
She placed her pen on top of her journal and looked at me— her big bright eyes boring into my soul, sucking me in through the tiny screen. "No, baby," she assured me, "but maybe I'm just missing you a little bit too much," she confessed.
My heart just melted. If only I could teleport and be there with her right then and there— I would— if only I could. There's nothing else I want in this world but to finally be with her, but life's not that easy for either of us, so we have no choice but to make sacrifices.
"Just a few more months and my contract here will finally end. Just hang in there, love. I'll come home for you," I promised her.
She nodded her head, a half-smile plastered on her face as she held on to my promise. I returned her a warm smile and we settled in comfortable silence, as she hummed to the tune of a vaguely familiar song.
She looked up for a second, thinking deeply or just simply staring into nothingness. Her bright round eyes turned from glassy to surprised, she looked somewhat stricken, when something from a distance caught her attention and startled her.
Our connection turned weak, my screen started freezing and our line went choppy. I couldn't see or hear her for a few seconds, all I could hear was some sort of commotion covered by a white noise coming from our weak signal.
We regained our connection, and I saw her on the other end of the line— frazzled. The tiny white cup she was holding toppled over, spilling its contents of her usual English Breakfast tea on her journal. She had a wad of paper towels on her hand as she tried to wipe off the mess she made, drenching and smudging the ink on her journal as she did so.
"Hey, I'll call you later," she said with an aghast and guilty expression.
Before I could even respond, the line suddenly went dead.
*****
"Good morning," Althea started.
"What took you so long to call back?" I said in annoyance.
She hasn't called me in four days since she abruptly ended our call in the coffee shop, at first I really didn't mind since I was also busy since a lot has been going on with me lately. But now that she's called, I couldn't help but feel annoyed.
"I'm sorry," was all she said. No explanation, just plain sorry, which annoyed me even more.
"That's it?"
"Yes, what more do you want?" she exasperated.
I don't know what's going on or why she's being stubborn. I'm tired and not in the mood for her childish behavior and I still have a pile of work to do; I have no time for this.
"An explanation as to why you failed to call?"
"Look, we've both been busy. I know how busy you are these past few days, so can you please not make a big deal out of this?" she retorted in an almost irate tone.
"You know what? Let's just end this call right now," I challenged her.
"Okay then."
"Fine."
*****
"Hey, baby. What's up?"
"Uhmmm... It's our scheduled time to talk?" she said sarcastically.
I checked the wall clock and she's completely right— I forgot to call her. Again.
"Shoot! I'm sorry, I completely spaced out," I reasoned.
"Yeah, no worries. I understand," she replied lamely.
"Are you mad?"
"No."
Silence.
"Uh, love? I'm sorry but—" I started, but she quickly interrupted my thought, not letting me finish my sentence.
"Let me guess, you're busy?" she sighed, I could almost tell that she's rolling her eyes right this moment.
"Yeah, sort of," I lamely excused.
"I understand, just give me a call when you can," she said defeatedly.
"I'm really sorry."
Silence.
"Althea? Still there?"
I heard her exhale deeply on the other end of the line.
"Yes."
"Ummm, I love you," I whispered secretly, I winced as I looked at the person beside me apologetically.
"Yeah," she paused. A few seconds of silence passed before she replied, "love you, too."
******
A chirpy voice and a boyish smile that greatly resembles Althea's welcomed me after my fifth attempt to call.
"Hi mommy," Miggy greeted me excitedly, his deep set of dimples that I couldn't resist deepened along with his wide toothy grin. God, I missed this boy as much as I missed Althea. Maybe even more.
Miggy came along with Althea; sort of a package deal; she was honest about him right from the get go, and I never even had a single doubt to accept him and treat him like my own. I love the kid, and I love his mom— it's that simple.
"Hi, kiddo! How are you? I miss you so much," I went on eagerly.
"I miss you too, mommy," he replied with sheer enthusiasm. He went on about the things he's been up to. He told me about soccer, his friends, his new Nerf gun that Althea promised him for his good grades, and raved about his latest video games, he even introduced me to his dog that I have absolutely no clue about. Althea never mentioned about getting him a dog. But what surprised me the most is that he kept thanking me for a pair of Jordan shoes that I'm quite positive I never gave him. Weird. I pretended like I absolutely know what he was talking about, putting in mind to ask about this from Althea later.
I cherished every word he said and hanged on every bit of his stories, a tight knot formed in my chest as I realized how much I'm missing out on this kid's life.
"What are you doing now?" I asked him.
He wiped his sweat drenched forehead, smiling widely as he extended his arms so that the front camera can capture where he is. "We're at the park!" he said excitedly.
The park a few blocks away from back home is Althea and Miggy's favourite spot that eventually became mine, too. It's Althea's favourite place actually; it is the park where she grew up; and when she had Miggy, she made sure to make it his favourite as well. They've been going there for years, setting up picnics and playdates, or just simply hanging around. Miggy will play by the swings while Althea will watch him from a distance, with a guitar or book in hand, or a journal to scribble her random thoughts and ideas. When I came into their lives, they eventually welcomed me and let me join in their little tradition— making me a part of their own little world.
"Wow! That must be so fun," I said cheerily, although a part of me aches that I cannot be there with them.
"Where's your mom?" I wondered when I didn't see Althea around, and now I'm quite bothered as to why she wasn't the one who picked up my call.
"She went to get ice cream with mam—," there was a rumble in the background, cutting his sentence short. I heard Althea's voice call Miggy as a swift motion suddenly brought me face to face with her.
"Heyyy," she said surprised and somewhat out of breath.
"Where've you been? Who's with you?" I asked accusingly.
She pulled up her ice cream cone to show me, and rolled her eyes as she said, "I went to get ice cream with... Uhh... Marinelle."
"Oh. Playdate?" I asked as I breathed out in relief when I heard that she's with her best friend's daughter. For a second I thought that she might be... never mind. I couldn't fathom the thought. Althea would never; but sometimes I couldn't help but think that I'm not the only one.
"Yes," she replied coldly.
"Umm," I started awkwardly. I don't know when this started, but we've been having trouble communicating for awhile now. It seems like there's an impenetrable gap between us that keeps growing and growing as each day passed. It worries me that maybe the long distance relationship has finally taken its toll on us.
"What is that shoes that Miggy told me about? The Jordans?" I asked curiously.
"Oh, that? It's the birthday present you never gave, I had to pretend like you intended it as a surprise for him," she said annoyed.
"What? It's not his birthday till next week!" I said in defense as I opened up my calendar to see what date it is.
Shit.
It was Miggy's birthday yesterday.
"Fuck!" I exasperated. "It totally slipped my mind! Oh my god I have to make it up to him! I'm sorry, I'm just really—,"
"Busy?!" she cut me off. "Yeah, you're always so damn busy! I could understand it if you have no time for me, but him? He expected at least a call from you and I had to make a birthday card and told him that it came from you! So please don't say sorry to me, apologize to him!"
"There's just really a lot of stuff going on here," I helplessly explained, but I know that I really messed up this time.
"Yeah, it's a little funny how busy you've been lately," she said in an accusing tone. "I've been calling you for days because I feel that we need to talk, but it seems like you're just avoiding me," she spat.
I didn't know how to respond because everything she said is true. Warm tears started to pool my eyes as it dawned on me that I'm slowly losing her—that everything is just not the same as before.
"You know what? I don't want to ruin this beautiful day with my son. Let's just talk about this some other time," she finished.
*****
I held my phone up in my ear as I looked at my frazzled reflection in the mirror. "Hey? Do you have time?" Althea started in a calmer tone than the one she has a week ago.
I reapplied my lipstick, combing my messy hair as I did so before answering, "uhhh, now's not really a good time."
"Let me guess, busy?" she said flatly.
"Yes," I sighed heavily as I checked my watch. I buttoned up my shirt and tucked it in my tight knee-length skirt and said, "I'm running late, I have to meet up with a... Uhh... Former client," I flustered. "I'll call you later," I said and ended the call.
*****
I woke up to the sound of my phone ringing.
21 missed calls.
Shoot.
I looked around and saw that the people around the holding area are eyeing me funnily.
"You've been sleeping like a baby for an hour or two," a colleague of mine explained.
I nodded my head and sighed deeply of embarrassment. I drifted off to sleep at work, nice one.
I opened my messages and saw that it's all from Althea.
"We need to talk," it said repeatedly.
Before I could even muster a reply, a woman in a finely tailored suit called me and ushered me in the office.
Maybe later.
*****
Ring.
Ring.
Ring.
"The number you have dialed is busy at the..." I slammed my phone and screamed in exasperation.
Dammit, Althea!
*****
I paid for the metered taxi and thanked the cab driver for carrying my luggage.
I'm home.
Finally.
All the busy days and sleepless nights finally paid off, for I got to come home 2 months earlier than I was supposed to. My employer was happy with my performance, and in return, he let me persuade him to end my contract ahead of time so I could return to my family.
I strutted my way inside our home excitedly. I planned to surprise Miggy and Althea that's why I chose a flight in the middle of the night.
The scent of home engulfed my senses as I stepped inside, the warmth and familiarity of it all gave me a sense of comfort.
After almost two years of being away, I could finally wrap my arms around them and never let go. And after months of being on the rocks with Althea, we could finally fill that huge gap between us and fix everything. My coming home is all we need to fix back the broken pieces of our relationship. There won't be any distance to separate us now.
I made my way towards the living room and found her guitar that I haven't seen in so long perched up on the recliner. I briefly glanced at it and saw her old journal laid flat open on the coffee table. My curiosity got the better of me, so I leafed through the pages of the heavily stained journal— smelling of old books and tea— like it was generously spilled on it.
She's writing songs and poems again; I smiled in content. I closed the journal and settled my luggage at the corner as I passed by the kitchen. Everything was immaculately clean except for two coffee mugs that are settled on the counter top— Althea's favourite handmade one, while the other one looked almost the same, almost but not quite— a mug that I've never seen before for I thought Althea's was the only one since it's hand made. At first I thought it was Miggy's, but my heart started drumming wildly when I noticed that its contents were half-finished English Breakfast Teas. Both of it.
I hurriedly made my way up to our bedroom, my instincts started kicking in and I know that something's not right. Something's definitely not right— my greatest fear felt like it was finally happening.
With trembling hands, I turned the knob slowly, praying in silence that maybe I was wrong.
Maybe.
My instincts were proven right when I saw Althea on the bed sleeping peacefully with Miggy.
With Miggy and a long-legged, half-European, half-Filipino beauty. Althea and the familiar woman wrapped their arms around the boy— a picture perfect portrait of a happy family— one that I am not included in.
The woman moved slightly in her sleep, and my guess was finally confirmed.
Peace Corps girl.
I'm 100 percent sure that it's her. That kind of exquisite beauty cannot be possibly missed.
My heart sank, my chest tightened, all the blood from my veins started to pool on my head. I was so mad and hurt that I almost wanted to scream.
This is far from the picture perfect scenario that I imagined my coming home to be. This is by far the worst, and something that I haven't anticipated.
I rushed outside and slammed the door, not caring if they would hear or see me. I wanted them to. Or not. I don't really know, I just want to get the hell out of here.
I was about to step off from the foyer when a voice startled me, stopping me dead in my tracks.
"Cathleen?" Althea called me.
I faced her in full contempt as I brushed away the angry tears that I couldn't stop from falling.
"I'm sorry," was all she said. Her eyes pooled with tears as she slowly made her way towards me.
"But... It's Jade," she started, not knowing where to go on from there.
'It's Jade.'
Two words and everything made sense.
The hand made coffee mug she loved so dear, her weird penchant for English Breakfast tea, the similar tattoos, the coffee shop, the park, her sudden enthusiasm in writing poems and songs. Oh god, the songs. That vaguely familiar song that I heard from the both of them. I remember now— it was Althea's song for her— the one she ripped to pieces the day we first met.
Everything I come to know about Althea and everything I loved about her revolves around Jade. Jade; her first and greatest love; the one she spent all her childhood in the park with; the one she spent countless of conversations over nothing and everything in that coffee shop.
It all suddenly made sense why I had that uncanny feeling the first time I met Jade in that Peace Corps event— it wasn't because I saw Althea in her— it was because everything Althea is or was was greatly influenced by her.
It made more sense to me as to why Althea acted distant that day. It wasn't because she was jealous of my girl crush, it was because she finally saw her again after all these years.
The drastic changes Althea had from that day on finally made sense to me; and it's not as if she didn't try to tell me. She tried in so many ways, but I was too damn busy to care or to notice.
The things I knew about Althea wasn't entirely hers alone. All the memories and significant places that I thought were ours were simply not.
It was all Jade's.
Everything belonged to Jade.
Althea wasn't completely honest when she said that she doesn't want to settle for anything less. She doesn't want to settle for anything less than Jade deserves. At that time, Jade deserves the best, and setting her free to change the world was the best for her back then.
I used to hate Jade for leaving Althea just because. I never thought of it as a good enough reason to leave someone, but now, looking at all the difference she made to the world, and how much they both grew— I finally understood.
"She came back," Althea whispered in tears, but I could see it in her eyes how happy she is, that she doesn't regret her decision of taking her back even if it means hurting me.
If only I knew back then, I should've went back home in an instant when Jade told me that it was time for her to come home and find love. If only I knew it was her.
But I know that a love as strong as theirs couldn't be stopped. I am nothing in this picture. I was the in between girl. The rebound. The one who thought that I could mend her broken heart.
But it had been Jade all along. She always had Althea's heart and she carried it with her across the globe, leaving pieces of it here and there, while Althea waits for her to find her way back.
I'm not the only one, because I was never 'the one.'
Simple as that.
I slowly removed the heavy ring that's been weighing me down and gently placed it on her palm— returning it to her. All my pent up anger suddenly disappeared the moment I removed it— the moment I accepted it.
Although it hurts like hell, it was easy for me to understand and accept everything. I saw Althea in her darkest days, I saw how much she pined for her, I know how much she loves her. And even then, I was so scared of the idea of her because I know that I could never compete, I've longed accepted my fate that her love for me will never be as great as Jade's.
Never.
Not in a million life times.
"You don't have to explain, I understand," I struggled to say to her. "It's Jade," I simply said, and just like her, we both know that those two words are more than enough explanation.
FIN
A/N: It's quite common to read about Jade or Althea's perspective, and I don't think I've ever read one written in Cathleen's, so I tried to do this for a change. I tried telling Jade and Althea's story without actually telling it (wala silang moments actually) through the seemingly clueless mind of Cathleen. In short, wala lang, maiba lang. And semi interpretation ko lang din sa song, ganda ni Dianna Agron sa music vid btw (not all stories here will ne inspired by songs ha, nagkataon lang). Ganon. I just randomly thought of an idea of writing sonething na halos walang interaction, walang cheesy moments and whatnot, walang kahit ano basically and see how people would respond to it. So yun lang, let me know what you think about this.
P.S. Di naman counted 'to as wasakan no? Hahahaha.
P.P.S. As usual, di 'to na proofread so expect a LOT of mistakes. Loool.
Vote and comment, guys. :)