The lights were bright, and the audience looked at me. I always felt under pressure in these circumstances, no matter how fun the interviewer made it be. I was always so cautious. I haven't been the cleanest person in the world to come into fame and I always had a feeling something big would come up and ruin my career.
Since Niall left me, I declined dramatically. I still had Charly and Kate and football, but whenever I was free I would smoke and drink. I really was not taking care of myself at all. But after long nights of talking, Charly made me see some sense. Enough to carry on for a while.
"So, Louis" Ellen began. "We've talked about your rise to fame, but there's been some pictures circulating the internet lately. Do you know what these pictures are?"
"Well" I chuckled. "A lot of pictures of me tend to go around quickly, so its hard to keep up" Ellen looked at me.
"Right. Well these pictures aren't family friendly, so we won't be showing them. Tell me, how did these come about? The nude pictures" blood drained from my face. I hadn't seen those for a year. Not since Brodie and Chelsea sent them out to the school, I guess they resurfaced at my fame.
"Well look" I pushed myself up to get comfortable. I clasped my hands together, holding them tightly. "I'm not perfect, and when I was a little younger I did send some naked pictures of myself to my boyfriend. A year later, they were exposed to the school by his, who we thought were friends, and then things died down. Yes it was a silly mistake, and I won't be able to stop any of you who do decide to do it. Be careful with your pictures people"
The audience applauded me. Cheering for me admitting to my errors.
"Speaking of love, you've been spotted with a few people, how does Charly feel about this?" She moved on to the next question quickly.
"Well, as many people know, Charly and I have a daughter, and unlike many theories we aren't in an initmate relationship. We're both just friends raising a child together"
"I'm in understanding she lives with you. This doesn't complicate things?" interviewers were sure nosey people.
"We both have strong feelings for each other, don't get me wrong, we just don't feel that way about each other. I'm enjoying my time being single for now" I smiled.
"No love interests?" I turned pink, trying to hide it. "Another video has been going viral, you singing a song, a personal one, it seems pretty heartbreaking. Let's have a listen"
The screen behind me turned on and there I was, a guitar in my hands, as I sung the words. The heart breaking words. I remember that day so clearly. I had been working on that song ever since Niall walked out on me.
I grabbed my guitar, the one I had only bought to try and learn this one song that didn't feel right on the piano. I set my phone up in front of me and put it on to the front camera. I looked at myself, I wasn't as tired as what I had been previously but it was still obvious I was tired. It was mostly because of work and Kate, but they were the best things in my life, so I couldn't complain.
I cleared my throat and pushed the record button, being so thankful that Charly had gone out for the day with Kate, mother daughter bonding type of thing with her friends from work. The numbers on the phone began to count the time I was going on. I needed to talk, but I was scared I was going to cry.
"Uh, hey guys. Louis here" I paused and cleared my throat. "You're probably wondering what I'm doing with this guitar. Well, I have been working on a song and you're probably wondering why I would write songs"
I was rambling, but I didn't care. I was killing time before I would be sending out a song to the world of my worst heartbreak I have ever endured.
"When I went to school, I used to write songs and sometimes play them on my piano. I never sang, I still don't, I don't think I'm good enough to be a singer. My songs got given to an ex-boyfriend, he sang them, and he did such a wonderful job. Anyway, we got back together and started dating. He-"
I had to stop, catch my breath. Just thinking about Niall broke my heart just a little more. I took a deep breath once again.
"Sorry guys. I should probably just explain why I wrote this song. Well, I loved him, he was the best thing that ever happened to me, but as it got closer to us finding our dream jobs, he left me and obviously I was heart broken, so this song is about our break up. Niall Horan, if you see this I would love to hear you sing this one day too"
I stopped talking and repositioned myself to be able to play. I was still hesitant on this. I hadn't been playing this song long at all and I was nervous as it was. I would most definitely screw it up. There was no way I'd be re-recording this if I do. With one last very deep breath. I began to strum.
It's inevitable everything that's good comes to an end
It's impossible to know if after this we can still be friends, yeah
I know you're saying you don't wanna hurt me
Well, maybe you should show a little mercy
The way you look I know you didn't come to apologize
The chorus was about to begin and this was heartbreaking. I was still kicking myself for whatever part of my brain thought this was good to post this. I was managing to get through the chords without missing one and managing to sing without a shaky voice. I couldn't sing. Not as good as Niall, but I wanted him to see how I felt
Hey, hey, hey
Oh, why you wearing that to walk out of my life?
Hey, hey, hey
Oh, even though it's over you should stay tonight
Hey, hey, hey
If tomorrow you won't be mine
Won't you give it to me one last time?
Oh, baby, let me love you goodbye
Another quick breath. I could do this. I could finish this.
Unforgettable together, held the whole world in our hands
Unexplainable, a love that only we could understand, yeah
I know there's nothing I can do to change it
But is it something that can be negotiated?
My heart's already breaking, baby, go on, twist the knife
Hey, hey, hey
Oh, why you wearing that to walk out of my life?
Hey, hey, hey
Oh, even though it's over you should stay tonight
Hey, hey, hey
If tomorrow you won't be mine
Won't you give it to me one last time?
Oh, baby, let me love you goodbye
Oh, baby, let me love you goodbye
This next part was risky. I had planned to hit a high note at the end of the verse. It really adds something to the song. And after many practices I had lots of errors and broken notes. But once I succeeded it once, it just continued to come to me.
One more taste of your lips just to bring me back
To the places we've been and the nights we've had
Because if this is it then at least we could end it right
I succeeded it. And I couldn't help but for a small smile to fall across my lips as I finished off the song in such a beautiful way.
Oh, why you wearing that to walk out of my life?
Hey, hey, hey
Oh, even though it's over you should stay the night, yeah
Hey, hey, hey
If tomorrow you won't be mine
Won't you give it to me one last time?
Oh, baby, let me love you goodbye
Oh, baby, let me love you goodbye
Oh, baby, let me love you goodbye
"Thanks guys" I shut the phone off and fell backwards onto the couch I was sitting on. I debated for a long time about posting this video. But I did. And it was the best decision I had ever made.
Ellen only showed a small part of the clip, but it was enough to get the jist of the situation. I bit my lip, just waiting for her to ask me questions about it.
"It seems like you had a horrible break up?"
"Yeah, well, we were young, we needed to go our separate ways. I hope one day we'll see each other again though"
"At the beginning you asked for Niall Horan to sing this song. Any connection there?" my mind ticked over what to say.
"I'm a fan of his stuff, and he has a wonderful voice, I would love to hear him sing it" I didn't technically lie. But I didn't tell the whole truth either. And with that, it concluded my interview.
"Well that has it everyone. Louis is set to start his new season this weekend, grab your tickets and don't miss it"
The cameras stopped rolling and I let out a relieved breath. That felt like the hardest thing I had ever had to do in my whole life. Besides dealing with Niall leaving me. That was the hardest. I just dreamt that one day he will come back to me. I miss his warmth, his smell, his laugh, his everything. No one compared to him, my one night stands, my attempted dates. Nothing. One day it will happen. I can see it.
A/N so last chapter I mentioned about Louis writing and singing Love You Goodbye, I thought it would be good to put it in here, as well as those damn nudes Louis sent in the first book that Brodie and Chelsea sent out. You know what fame's like. Got a few more bonus chapters I want to write I probably could have thrown these in the book but oh well