Hallway
Freshman Year
Three days before my birthday
“I was… I was…” I watched Peter Zonokkis stammer in front of me.
Because he was taking so much time saying what he wanted to say, it gave me more time to study him, up close.
He was wearing khaki pants, his shirt buttoned all the way up to his neck. He was wearing glasses.
Peter was one of the smartest kids in school. He was regarded as a geek most of the time. And it kills me to hear him stammer in front of me, knowing fully well what he was going to ask me, and knowing fully well too what my answer will be.
“So? Will you?” He asked me.
I blinked back at him. Did he already ask me something?
“Sorry, Pete.” I’m not really going to ask him to repeat himself, am I? “I’m not allowed to date… yet.” I said. I hope I was right in thinking he was going to ask me out.
His mouth formed an ‘O’. “But… aren’t you fifteen already?”
I shook my head. “Not yet. I’m three days shy.”
“Some… some girls start dating earlier than fifteen.”
I shrugged. “Not my parents.” I lied. Actually I don’t think my parents care if I get pregnant now!
“Alright. Maybe I’ll ask you next week?”
I shook my head. “Well… I’m not sure. I’m not in a hurry. Maybe much later.”
He smiled at me. “Alright. Well, see you around.”
I nodded. I turned around towards the exit.
“I hope you’re not just letting him down easy.” A male’s voice said behind me.
I turned around to find Allan Gilmore walking behind me.
I raised a brow at him. Allan was two years my senior. He is captain of the debate team. Very smart, and very cute.
“No. That’s the truth actually.” I said.
“How can a gorgeous girl like you not be allowed to date at this age?”
I shrugged. “I’ll ask my parents when I see them.” I said sarcastically.
He smiled. “So, if I ask you out, I’d probably get the same answer?”
“Yes.”
“Why? Because I’m not your type?” He asked wistfully.
I shook my head. “Not that. Because I wasn’t lying to Peter.”
“Okay. Maybe I’ll check up on you in a couple of months.”
I nodded. “Maybe.”
He walked past me. He gave me a wink. “See you in a few months!” And he walked away.
I walked home. I thought about Allan and Peter. Not that it isn’t true. It wasn’t a lie as well. I have not discussed dates with my parents. Although when Tom was alive, I always thought I would start dating at fourteen.
I remember talking to him, asking him about his first date, asking him what to expect, what not to do.
He laughed and told me I was too young to be asking those questions.
“I promise, when you are allowed to date, I will be your first date.” He said to me. “I will take you out on a real date. I will tell you the do’s and don’ts. Let you know what to expect. And hopefully set the bar really high for your future dates… it’s good to have high expectations, so your first boyfriend will be a cut above the rest.” He said with the boyish grin on his face.
“Promise?”
He raised his right hand. “I promise. When you turn fifteen.”
I didn’t know but tears were welling up in my eyes already. I miss Tom so much.
The cold breeze blew and I hugged my jacket to myself.
When I reached home, I saw a sleek new Porsche parked in front of my driveway.
I thought one of my parents could be having a visitor.
As I approached the driveway, the door of the car opened. I watched as a familiar figure step outside the car.
My breath caught in my throat. Straight black hair, streaked with some dark blond strands, sleek sports sunglasses hiding his devilishly cold eyes.
I stopped in front of him.
“Cheri.” He greeted me.
“Wow! Someone is still in Paris mode.” I teased him smiling.
I don’t know how Travis has been making his classes. He’s been in and out of the country for the past couple of months since Tom died. One month, he is home, some months he goes back to his home in Paris, with his mother.
“How are you?” He asked.
I shrugged. “Okay. Alone most of the time.”
He pushed his sunglasses up his head to reveal his startling crystal blue eyes.
“Alone?” He echoed, and something in his expression tells me that he didn’t like the sound of that. “What about your parents?”
I shrugged. “You would think that since they lost one child, they would care more for the other, right?” I shook my head sadly. “I think I lost them the day I lost Tom.”
Tears suddenly slipped from my eyes. I tried to fan my hands in front of my face and disguised my sadness with a giggle. But when I stared up at Travis, I could tell that I haven’t fooled him.
He reached for my shoulder and pulled me to him. I rested my head against his shoulder. I took a deep breath. And then for the first time in many months, I let all the tears fall.
Ice Creamery
Three days before my birthday
I sat on my seat and attacked my banana split as if I haven’t eaten ice cream in months. Well, I haven’t actually.
“How’s school?” Travis asked me. He was sitting opposite me, having soda.
“Same old.” I replied. “Except that today, I had two boys coming up to me, asking me out.”
“And?” He asked with a raised brow.
I shook my head. “I told them I wasn’t allowed to date yet.”
“Aren’t you?”
“I don’t think my parents care anymore, to be honest.” I replied sadly. “But that’s not really the reason why I don’t date yet.”
“Then what is?” He asked.
I shrugged. Because Tom promised me…
Travis took another sip of his soda. He didn’t ask me again. Instead, he waited for me to be ready to tell him.
I sighed. “Tom promised me…” I started. “He promised he would be the first one to take me out on a date, once I’m allowed to… or when I turn fifteen, whichever comes first.”
“Okay, that sounds weird… even for me.” Travis said.
I glared at him. “Don’t be absurd!” I said. “He promised to take me out on a real date, to tell me what to expect, to teach me what I should know about… the do’s and the don’ts. And he was hoping to set the bars really high, so I can set high standards for myself.” I sighed. “I guess that’s not going to happen now. And somehow, it held me back. Every time a guy asks me out, I think about how that first date should have been my educational date, you know. Now, I guess I’m up for… trial by fire. And I’m not very thrilled to do that just yet.”
“Aren’t you turning fifteen in three days?”
“Hey, you remembered!” I said. “I hope that was not the reason you cut your Paris trip short.” I teased.
He took a deep breath. “It is, actually.” He said in a low voice.
My head shot up at him. “Really? Because the Travis I know didn’t really care about me.”
He raised a brow at me. Then he sighed. “I’m bound to care about you now, remember?”
I rolled my eyes. “A little sincerity would be nice.”
“How do you know I wasn’t sincere?”
“Because… you barely show… any sincerity.”
“I barely show any emotion period.” He corrected me.
I sighed. There was no winning that argument. Travis Cross is cold and ruthless. There was a time in the past that he was so playful and mischievous. But now that Tom isn’t around anymore, he has gotten worse. As if my brother’s death taught him not to care too much, get attached too much. Because when these people go, he would get hurt over and over.
Now, he doesn’t care about the people around him. He was trained not to show how he really feels. Trained to cave in and shield himself from getting hurt. The only person he didn’t shield himself from… is buried six feet under now. It must have been quite ironic for him that the first person he opened up to was taken away from him. So I guess, I shouldn’t really complain about his lack of feelings towards me.
I heard him sigh. “But it doesn’t always mean I don’t… feel anything at all.” He said.
I stared into his eyes. They were cold, but somehow, I can see his soul there… hiding in the shadows.
“You should know this about me, Brianne.” He said. “Because our lives are going to be intertwined for the years to come.”
I sighed. I nodded. “But you must know…” I said. “I tease and laugh a lot! Or at least, I used to.”
“I know. If some girls are bubble gums, you’re Tootsie Roll!” He said, and somehow I couldn’t tell if he finds that endearing or irritating.
I smiled and then I reached across the table for his hand. “We’re going to be okay, Travis.” I said. It wasn’t just an assurance for him. It was more of a question for him to assure me. Funny because a few months ago, I really loathe this guy. Now, I feel like he’s the only thing I have left… the only thing I have to remind me of the happy family that I used to have.
He sighed. He turned his hand over so that he was holding my hand. He gave it a gentle squeeze. “Yes, Cheri. I’ll make sure we’re going to be.”