~CHARLES~
I glared in frustration at the several discarded paintings tossed across the floor. Each of them seemed to be mocking me, laughing that I just couldn't get it right.
I threw my brush at the wall, satisfied by the loud thud it produced. All I wanted was to get this damn painting right. It had the potential to be my best one yet, but not if I kept screwing it up.
Unlike other paintings I've had to redo in the past, I know how I want this one to come out, and I know exactly how to achieve it. But my mind would stray to thoughts of Levi and bam, I'd find myself messing up. It's crazy how the person that inspired me could also become my worst distraction.
"Whoa there kiddo, I think you need a break," I jumped at the sound of my butler's voice.
"P-Phillip, how long have you been here?" I stuttered.
"Long enough to see you freak out of that poor paintbrush," he joked. "In all seriousness, though, you really do need to get some rest. You've been at it for hours, mate. It's half three in the morning."
I shook my head. "Not until I get it right."
"You're not going to be getting anything right if you're half awake, Charles. You really should head back to bed. You can work on this more tomorrow."
"Tomorrow I've got lessons all day," I argued.
"Well you're not going to do to well in those lessons if you're sleep deprived," Phillip countered.
"Last I checked, you're my butler, not my mum," I grumbled.
"Yeah, but I'm also your best friend. I'm just looking out for you. You've been off for a while, I'm starting to get worried. Does any of this by chance have to do with that Levi fellow?"
"Of course not, I've already gone and forgotten him," I lied through my teeth. I had anything but forgotten Romeo. He seems to have managed to permanently push his way into my thoughts. Even when my focus was elsewhere, he was in the back of my mind. I wanted to see him again, even if it was just to offer an apology. I needed to see him again.
I meant that in the most heterosexual way possible.
"I don't believe you, but whatever. Right now, what's important is that you go to bed. The day after tomorrow is the ball, and you need to catch up on sleep," said Phillip.
"I'm fiiiiiine, Phillip. I don't need to catch up on sleep at all!"
"This is the eighth time in the last twelve days that I've caught you up too late working on this painting. You have a lot to catch up on in terms of sleep. Off to bed you go."
Groaning, I flipped him off and put away my paints. "Fine, mom, I'll go to bed. Happy?"
"Very much so, yes," Phillip whistled as he examined the discarded failed attempts scattered across the floor. "Wow, this one's a toughie, huh?"
I chuckled dryly. "Like you wouldn't believe."
~•~•~
The next day went by in a flash and the ball came around. For some reason, my parents were extra insistent that I looked like a "proper" Prince. I was dressed in a maroon royal ceremonial coat, adorned with a gold stash and badges that I had never earned. My pants were white, tucked into polished black riding boots, and a gold scabbard hung at my waist. It didn't make sense to me that princes and kings always carried swords to formal events and ceremonies—what if a fight broke out? The results would be horrific.
This event wasn't quite as large as the last one we held, probably due to the short notice. Still, the multiple levels of the ballroom were crowded with hundreds of bodies.
As much as I didn't want to be here, I was also a tad exited. The people of Author island were supposed to be attending, which means I may see Romeo. I really needed to at least apologize for what I said. The guilt was eating me up. However, as I scanned my surroundings, the prince was nowhere to be seen.
There are hundreds of people here, I reminded myself. I'm not going to see him right away. I just need to search.
Figuring that I wouldn't be able to see everyone from the first level, I made my way through the crowd towards the stairs, scanning the dance floor all the while.
I hurried through the crowd, examining every person to see if they were Levi. A blonde head of hair caught my eye and I turned abruptly, only to bump into a fair maiden.
Turns out, the hair belonged to a woman in her forties wearing way too much makeup. However, that wasn't really my main concern at the moment, given that the girl I'd run into had landed straight on her bum.
"Terribly sorry, miss," I apologized. I extended my hand to help her up, which she took delicately. As she stood, she looked at me strangely.
"That's alright. Do I know you?" She said unsurely. "I could have sworn I've seen you before."
I scanned her form for signs of familiarity. She wore a simple light pink sheath gown with a sweetheart neckline. It was beautiful but modest, like she wanted to avoid attracting attention. Her long chestnut hair fell effortlessly over her shoulders in long waves. She had big brown eyes and full pink lips. Freckles dotted her cheeks. She was very beautiful, but I didn't recognize her from anywhere. Although there was something familiar in her chocolate eyes.
"I'm sorry, I don't recall us meeting," I said honestly. She furrowed her brows and shook her head.
"Yeah, sorry, allow me to introduce myself," she curtsied politely. "Princess Amelia of Author Island."
My eyes went wide. Now I knew what had seemed familiar about her—she had the same mischievous sparkle in her eyes as her brother. Other than that, she looked nothing like him. Completely forgetting to return the introduction, I asked, "Is your brother here?"
"Well I have six of them and three are at this ball, so I suppose so," she answered.
"Which ones?"
"Jeremy, Lucas, and Edward. Why do you ask?" Her expression was wary.
I felt my chest deflate. He's not here.
"So Levi didn't choose to attend?" I asked hopefully, although I already knew the answer.
Princess Amelia shook her head. "He chose to sit this one out. There are certain people that he'd rather not see, so he's back at home." Guilt swelled in the pit of my stomach, weighing me down like an anchor. "How do you know— oh my god."
Her eyes were wide as she looked me over. "Cute, dark blue eyes, dark brown hair... You're Prince Charles, aren't you?"
I nodded reluctantly. "So I'm guessing he told you about me then?"
"Of course he did," her voice was harsh, her eyes narrowed into a glare.
"How many people has he told?" I asked nervously.
Her glare intensified. "Wouldn't you like to know?" She spat.
She must have seen how mortified I was, because her gaze softened the slightest bit. "I'm the only person he told," she answered honestly.
"Oh—"
"Charles!" My mother's voice interrupted our conversation. "I see you've met Amelia. Isn't she lovely?"
I glanced back at the brunette girl, who was still glaring daggers at me. "Um yeah, she's wonderful."
"Great! How about you two step onto the dance floor together?" My mother suggested.
"Um, mother, I really don't think—"
"Charles," The queen gave me a look that dared me to argue. Why is she acting so weird? Nervously, I took Princess Amelia's hand and pressed a polite kiss to her knuckles.
"May I have this dance?"
She glanced between my mother and I for an awkward moment before nodding reluctantly, forcing a smile. "It would be an honor."
With one last confused glance at my mother, I led Amelia to the dance floor, awkwardly putting my hands on her slim waist as she placed hers on my shoulders.
"Sorry about that," I apologized. Amelia shrugged.
"It's life."
"Um, Amel–I mean Princess Amelia," I hesitated, "Does Levi hate me?"
She seemed taken aback by the question. "Do you actually care?"
Do I care? It's all that's been on my mind for the last fortnight.
"I do."
Our eyes met, and it felt like she was staring right through me. As if she was trying to decide if I was being sincere or not.
Finally, she answered, "No, he doesn't. He really should, but he doesn't."
A sigh of relief escaped me as bubbles of tension burst in my chest.
"Well tell him that I'm sorry." Once again, Amelia looked genuinely surprised by my words. "What I said to him was horrible, and I really would take it back if I had the power to do so."
Amelia nodded slowly as we danced back and forth, a thoughtful expression on her pretty face. "I'll give him the message. Might I ask why you said all of those things?"
My throat constricted. I couldn't tell her why—I wasn't even sure myself. "I...I'd rather not get into that, If that's alright with you."
She pouted but nodded nonetheless. "That's fine, I suppose. You know, you're not actually a colossal douchebag."
My eyebrows furrowed. "Did you expect me to be?"
"You hurt my baby brother. Of course I did."
I pushed down the guilt rising in my core. "Aren't you guys twins?"
"I'm technically older."
I chuckled softly. Amelia reminded me of her brother in many ways. The similarity brought a smile to my face.
"Hm," Amelia spoke, "Levi was right, you have a really nice smile. I can see why he likes—or, well, used to like you."
My eyebrows furrowed. "Used to?"
"Yeah, did you expect him to be wrapped around your finger forever?" Amelia giggled. "He's over you now, he moved on. That's what you want, right?"
"Y-yeah, of course..." I trailed off. Amelia was right, that should make me happy. So why did hearing that Romeo had moved on feel like a stab in the heart?
"You alright?" Amelia's voice snapped me out of my daze.
"Um, yeah, of c–"
"Why hello again, beautiful," a handsome prince greeted suavely as he approached. I could practically feel the waves of obnoxious radiating off of him.
"Oh no..." Amelia groaned. "Not this again..."
"Do you know this guy?" I questioned.
"I've had the pleasure of meeting him before," Amelia answered.
"I'm just glad," the stuffed up Prince continued, "that now we can have a conversation without that annoying Author boy getting in our way."
"Sorry, I'm not interested," Amelia deadpanned. The Prince pretended not to hear, stepping between us and cutting off our dance.
"I know you don't mean that, darling," he cooed. "Come, allow me to steal you away for a dance. Afterwards perhaps we can—"
"I said I'm not interested," Amelia stated firmly. "That means back off."
"Come on now gorgeous, don't be daft. You're lucky to have won my attention. And since that Author boy isn't here, there's nobody to interrupt us."
This guy just doesn't give up, does he?
"That Author boy is my brother, which means that you're talking to the princess of Author island," Amelia declared. I could tell from her expression that she hated using her status against people, but the situation was desperate.
"Yes, but you're a woman. Therefore your status isn't quite as worthy. Now quit arguing," he grabbed her wrist and pulled her to him.
My blood boiled at the sight. I tore his hand off of hers and stood between the two.
"Who do you think you are?" I demanded.
"Prince Liam Jacob Alabaster the Fifth of Laurens Island," he declared proudly.
"Well, Prince Liam Jacob Alabaster the Fifth of Laurens Island, she said she's not interested, so leave her alone."
"Who are you to tell me what I can or can't do with this beautiful young maiden?"
"Prince Charles Gabriel Lewis of Elizabeth Island."
The prince of Laurens did a double take. Then he bowed so low, I was afraid he'd break his back.
"My dearest apologies sir, madam," he apologized frantically. "I was just messing around, your highnesses. I'll be on my way now, but if the people of Author and Elizabeth would ever like to negotiate with the people of Laurens—"
"Goodbye," Amelia and I spoke simultaneously. The Prince scurried away, but not before bowing three more times.
"The nerve of that guy," I growled.
"Tell me about it," grumbled Amelia.
"So you've dealt with him before?" I asked.
"Yes," Amelia nodded. "He tried to make a move on me at your last ball."
"I'm guessing the Author boy he kept referring to was Levi?"
"Yup," Amelia answered with a grin. "You both told him off pretty well."
I chuckled lightly. "Yeah, I guess we did. I must remember to ask my mother to remove the kingdom of Laurens from our guest list."
"Ugh, puh-leez! If I never saw him again, it would be too soon."
Laughing heartily, I nodded. "Agreed."
At that moment, a dancing couple ran into Amelia's back, shoving her into me. I caught the princess before she fell, laughing as I steadied her.
"I guess the dance floor isn't the most appropriate place for a conversation. How about we head up to the second floor?" I offered.
~•~•~
A week after the ball, I found myself lying on my bed staring at the blank white ceiling once again. One thought persisted in my mind:
Levi.
In the three weeks since I met him, he'd hardly left the front of my mind. After meeting his sister a week ago, it had become harder and harder to push him back out. The part that bothered me the most was that I couldn't understand why. Why was Levi all I thought about nowadays? Why did I want to see him again so badly. Why did I still remember the kiss like it happened yesterday. Why did I get butterflies every time I thought about it. Why was I thinking about it at all?
I knew I wasn't gay. I couldn't be gay. It just wasn't an option for me. My parents were traditional people, there's no way they'd accept their only son being gay, or bi, or pan, or anything like that. Straight was the only option.
I'm straight, I told myself. My feelings for Levi are completely platonic.
My mind warred back and forth between the possibilities. I was getting a headache just thinking about it. I knew that I had to be straight. My job was to marry a woman and promote the family name. But fucking Levi had to come around and make me all confused.
I felt a stabbing pain behind my eyes. This was too much, my brain couldn't take it. Frustrated, I grabbed a pillow and chucked it at the wall. At that exact moment, my door was pushed open.
"Whoa," Phillip watched the soaring pillow bounce off of the wall. "Bad time?"
I shook my head, which sent a shock of pain through my temples. "No, no, I'm fine," I lied. "I just have a bad headache."
"Hey now," Phillip said gently, moving to sit at the edge of my bed. "You can tell me what's up."
"I know I can," I sighed in defeat. "I just don't want to. Admitting it would mean that it's true."
Phillip nodded in understanding. "I won't push you to tell me, but you know I'm always here if you want to talk. Does it have to do with the Prince from Author?"
Reluctantly, I nodded. "I'd rather not talk about it. What did you come here to say?"
"Oh yeah," Phillip started. "The King and Queen would like to speak to you. They're in the Grand Common Room."
Tossing my head back against my pillow, I groaned loudly. "What is it now?"
Phillip shrugged. "Beats me. But you probably shouldn't keep them waiting too long."
"Yeah, I suppose you're right," I agreed. I crawled out of the comfort of my bed. "Later, Phillip."
"Later, kid."
I left my bedroom and reluctantly descended the stairs to the first floor, where I weaved through a few hallways before reaching the grand common room. Sure enough, both my mother and father were waiting, sat on one of the large velvet sofas. I placed myself in the matching armchair nearest them.
"You needed me?" I asked.
"Yes, we wanted to speak to you about a rather important matter," my father stated.
"We noticed that you met Amelia at the ball," my mother continued. "You even had a dance with her."
Yeah, because you forced me to.
"Yes..." I trailed off, unsure of where this was going.
"What did you think of her?" My mother asked.
"Um, she was lovely," I answered awkwardly. "Why?"
"The truth is," my mother explained, "that ball was thrown for the sole purpose of getting you two to meet and interact."
I blinked slowly, taken aback. "Okay... Why?"
"Well, son," my father spoke, "your mother and I have been thinking. You're almost eighteen, it's about time you found a wife."
No, no, no.
"And...?" I prompted, hoping that they wouldn't say what I thought they were going to say.
"And," my father continued. "We've decided, along with the King and Queen of Author, that you and Amelia will be getting married.
"W-what?" I stammered dumbly. This cannot be happening.
"Think about it, Charles," my mother urged. "What better way could there be to unite our kingdoms?"
"But..." I tried to form words of protest, but I couldn't. My mouth just kept opening and closing like a fish. I'd never been one to protest or complain; it felt as if my brain was wired to agree to everything.
"Charles, I know this must seem a bit old school," my father said apologetically. "But it really is the best thing to do for both of our kingdoms."
But what about me? I wanted to scream out. What about the best thing to do for your only son?
Yet my mouth was sealed shut by my own submissiveness.
"I don't love her," my voice was barely above a whisper, yet it was all I could muster.
"We didn't expect you too. You only met her last week," my mother said gently. "That's why we're going to have her stay here for a month while we plan the wedding."
"A month?"
"Yes, a month."
I put my head in my hands, massaging my temples as pain shot through them. My headache was getting increasingly worse.
My brain was screaming at me to protest, while also screaming at me in pain. I felt my mind go completely blank, giving up. I knew that this was a battle I couldn't win.
"Charles, are you okay?" My mother worried.
Head pounding, I nodded weakly. "I'm just going to go up to my room..."
~•~•~
A day had passed, meaning that I was six days closer to seeing Amelia again.
It felt as if several battles were going on in my head. On one hand, marrying the Princess of Author could be a good thing. It would mean that I would have to stop thinking of Levi. I couldn't have feelings for him when I had a wife. Even though I had no romantic feelings towards Amelia, I believed in being faithful to your partner. I would actually have control over my own mind. I could push away these weird feelings as if they'd never existed.
On the other hand, I still don't fully understand my feelings for Romeo. I wasn't completely sure if I wanted to understand them, but at the same time I was curious to see where they could lead. I needed time to fully come to terms with everything. I had to find out what my feelings for the charming Prince meant, even if I didn't like the answer.
That's a bit hard to do when you're marrying his sister.
Although after the way I treated him, there's no chance that he'd still have feelings for me anyways. Amelia said it herself, he was over me. She was right, that should have been music to my ears. I should have been happy that Levi and I could maybe be just friends.
So why did the thought of that hurt so much? What was I longing for?
Then there was the fact that if I married Amelia, there was no way to avoid contact with Levi. I would have to see him eventually. I wasn't sure if that was a good or bad thing. Part of me dreaded the thought of ever meeting him again. He probably thinks I'm an asshole; he has every right. It would be awkward and uncomfortable to say the least.
Yet part of me longed to see his crystal blue eyes. Part of me wanted nothing more than to simply be in the same room as him once again. I wanted to talk to him, just to hear his voice.
I didn't know what to think of how I felt. I didn't want to like Romeo as any more than a friend. As a matter of fact, I couldn't think of anything worse. I wanted to make the strange feelings go away as soon as possible.
At the same time, I wanted to discover them, to see where they led me. Levi was like my muse, he inspired me. He could be good for me, whether it be as a friend or... Something more.
Or he could tear everything I'd ever know apart.
It was as if every pro had a con. There was no good outcome, just an endless cycle of positives and negatives. My brain felt as if it were split into halves... quarters... eighths... There was no one way to feel.