Anxiety. The only word that could describe this moment. A series of "what if" questions rolled around in my head, only making it worst. I just my baby boy to be alright.
As another contraction hit, I sunk my nails into Chris's arm for the millionth time for the night. "Ow, ow, ow!" I whined. I was in so much pain and I was barely 3 inches dilated. It felt like period cramps times 100. How the fuck did Octomom do it? "Shit!" Chris tried to mumble as I broke his skin. "Sorry." I mumbled before letting his arm go. "Let's get that cleaned up." the nurse said pulling him out of the room to get him a band aid.
As the pain subsided a little, I pulled myself up in the bed. Everyone around the room looked at me sympathetically. I looked over at the girls and forced a little smile on my face. "You good, big momma?" Kaya asked. "No." I giggled lightly. "It feels like I'm about to shit out a ham." I said making the whole room erupt in laughter. Well except Ty and Robb. "These niggas" I thought before rolling my eyes.
Can you believe they actually tried to fight each other again?! Immaturity at it's finest. "We're gonna get something to eat. Anybody wanna come?" My dad said getting up from his seat to help Tasha up. Everybody answered yes before getting up and exiting the room. "You girls want something?" Tasha asked Momma J and I. "No, thanks." She replied after I shook my head. "Alright, be right back." My dad said.
I gasped as I felt another contraction come on. I gripped the railing of the bed before whining. I felt Momma J take my hand rub my shoulder. The contraction got my painful and I squeezed her hand a little too tight. She yelped and I dropped her hand. "I'm sorry." I said. She giggled. "It's ok, sweetheart."
We heard Chris's obnoxious laughter before the door opened. "Alright, bye." He said before putting his phone back in his pocket. "Who was that?" Momma J asked. "Just... An old friend." He said sratching the back of his neck. The only time he did that was when he was nervous or lying.
I looked over at him and he looked away. What was he hiding?
2 Hours Later
Many contractions later, my doctor finally came to see me. "How are we doing, Ms.Smith?" He smiled. This man was sex on legs! Tall, dark, handsome, and tatted. "Great, now that you're here." I flirted playfully. By this time, the only people I wanted in the room was Chris, Mama J, Mel, Ashley, and Kaya. We all laughed, I've been messing with him since we got here.
He chuckled and slipped his gloves on. "Lets see if he's ready to come out." He said before propping my legs up in the stirrups When he was done, he pulled his gloves off and threw them away.
"Seems like the little one is almost ready, your 9 centimeters. How far along are your contractions?" He asked. "2 minutes." "He should be coming soon then. I'm gonna have the nurse stay with you, I'll be right back." He said focusing on the chart in his hands. "Ok." I smiled. He sent a small smirk my way before walking out.
My nurse, Giselle, was a total sweetheart. She was the only one who would let me hold her hand during my contractions. I'd already hurt everybody else. "He's almost here, Madi. Are you excited?" She smiled. "Yes, I can't wait. I'm nervous though." I admitted. "You'll be fine." She smiled.
"Ahh!" I said grabbing her hand. It felt like someone was digging a hole in my back and the pain was spreading to the front. I did my breathing exercises to help. The whole time Giselle was just smiling at me. "What?" I manages to get out. "He's ready." She smiled.
She called the doctor back in and they began to set up. Chris stood next to the bed and took my hand. "You're gonna be a great mother." He said before kissing my forehead making me smile.
"Alright, Madison. Ready to push?"
****
Weighing in at 4 pounds and 2 ounces, Christian Madox Brown was already the love of my life. I wiped my tears as Chris kissed my forehead. "You did great." He said before snipping the umbilical cord. They wiped him off and handed him to me.
This had to be one of the best moments of my life. Everyone gathered around us and watched it awe. "Hi, baby." I said pushing the towel out of his face. "He's gorgeous " Ashley gushed. "He looks just like Chris." Mama J smiled. I looked over at Chris and he looked nervous.
"You wanna hold him?" He nodded and I handed Christian to him. "Wassup, guy." He smiled making us laugh. Nothing could make this moment more perfect.
My doctor called the rest of the crew into the room to meet him. "Damn cuh, he bright as fuck!" Trell laughed before Mama J popped him in the back of his head. "He's gorchess." Heather complemented. "Thanks, Heavie." I smiled. My dad came to the side of the bed and kissed my forehead. "I'm proud of you babygirl, I'm sure our mother would be proud too." he smiled. "Thanks, daddy." I yawned and my eyes got heavy. "Go to sleep, angel. We'll be here when you wake up." I heard Mama J say before I closed my eyes completely.
1 Month Later
It was 9 in the morning when I heard him crying again. I sighed and walked into the nursery. I picked him up out of his crib before sitting in the rocking chair. "What's wrong with mommy's pumpkin?" I knew he was hungry again, greedy just like his daddy.
I was just about to feed him when I heard the doorbell. I secured him in my hands before going downstairs to open the door. "Hey, Chris." I smiled. He's been here everyday and night to help me take care of Christian. "Wassup baby mama." He smiled making me laugh. "Come in light bright." I smiled.
He walked in and shut the door behind him. "You look like you're about to pass out." he chuckled. "Your son wouldn't let me sleep last night. I said yawned climbing the steps. We walked back into the nursery and I sat down in the rocking chair. Chris leaned against the door frame watching me.
I fished out my boob awkwardly and began feeding Christian. I could feel Chris staring at me, but it was too awkward for me to look up. I stared at my son's gorgeous face before caressing his soft cheek. Chris's phone rang loudly, scaring Christian and he started crying. I tried to hush him as Chris apologized.
"Hello?" he answered. After I calmed Christian down, I continued feeding him while he stared at me face. I smiled at him before he furrowed his eyebrows like "The fuck you smiling for?" making me laugh. Chris smiled at us and mumbled "I'm at her house right now." into the phone.
"Who's that?" I mouthed over to him. "Mama." he mumbled back. "Tell her I said 'hey'." I whispered noticing Christian's eyes getting low. "She wants to see her grand baby." He laughed. "Ok, tell her we'll come by later." "Alright ma, we'll swing by in a bit...Love you too...Bye." I was still staring at him and he coughed. "Madi?" "Huh?" "I think he's done." He said referring to my exposed nipple. "Oh." I said simply before my face flushed with redness.
"Can you burp him while I shower please?" "Yea. Give me my son." He smiled. I passed him to Chris and he smiled wide. He kissed his cheek and took off down the stairs. "We'll be downstairs."
****
After I took my shower I got and packed Christian's bag. I went downstairs to see Chris taking pictures of Christian. Christian was wide eyed as Chris kissed his cheek and took the picture. "Chris, what are you doing!" I laughed placing my purse and phone on the counter. "What?" he chuckled. "Never mind." I said shaking my head and walking into the kitchen.
I grabbed a water bottle and an apple, before snatching up my purse and phone. "Where's his car seat?" Chris asked getting up. "In the Mercedes." I said taking the keys off the hook. I grabbed his bag and we all went outside to the car. Chris placed him inside the car seat and strapped him in carefully, I handed him the keys, we hopped in and were off to Mama J's house.
****
"Look at Grandma's baby! He's getting so big." Mama J gushed before taking him out of his car seat. I smiled as I watched her interact with him. I couldn't help but think of my mom. God, I wish she was here! As much as I like Tasha, she's never going to take my mom's place.
I was interrupted from my thoughts with my rumbling stomach. I grabbed my stomach and Mama J laughed. "There's food in the kitchen, if Chris didn't finish it all." She said. "Thanks, Mama J." I smiled before kissing her cheek.
I walked into the kitchen to see Chris stacking his plate. I watched him as he stacked bacon, eggs, sausage, and pancake on his plate while he hummed. I giggled and playfully pushed him out of the way to get some food. "Fat ass." I mumbled as he put another pancake on his plate. "Yea, you do have a fat ass." He said before slapping my butt. "Ouch, Christopher!" I said punching him in the arm.
"Don't be hitting me nigga." He laughed and putting his plate down. He took my from me and placed it next to his. I smacked his arm and he smiled again. "Don't hit me, Madison." He smirked. "What you gonna do, Christopher?" I smirked back. He walked closer to me and clenched his jaw. I walked backwards into the cabinets, trying to get away from him, but he placed one hand on the wall and the other around my waist. I knew this position all too well.
I swallowed hard as I felt his breath against my skin. "I still love you baby." He said before kissing my earlobe. Not this shit again. He's been bothering me about getting back together since Christian was born. He keeps pushing me, but I'm not ready.
"Chris, can we not do this right now?" "Do what?" "This!" I heard him sigh before letting me go. "When then, huh? You've been avoiding my question for a month now!" he barked "I don't know Chris, just not now. Right now the only thing I'm focused on is Christian." I said looking up at him.
"So this is what it is now? All we have now is a baby mama, baby daddy type of relationship?" He questioned. Before I could think, I responded "For now, I guess so." I shrugged. "Alright. Say no more." He said picking up his food and walking out.
I sighed and grabbed my food following behind him. "Chris can we just talk about this later?" I asked. "Nah, I'm done talking, you already made you point clear. What else is there to talk about?" he replied nonchalantly. "Whatever." I mumbled. "Yea, whatever." he said mugging me.
****
Minus feeding him, I got to relax for the rest of the day because 'Grandma J' wanted her grandson all to herself. It was so cute! Chris on the other hand was still being sour. How do you force someone into something they're not ready for?
When it was around 7 pm, I was ready to go home. Christian needed a bath and I had things to finish for work. Mama J strapped him into his car seat and Chris picked it up. "See you, mama." He said before kissing her cheek. "Bye baby. Bye, handsome." She said blowing a kiss at Christian. I hugged her and we were on our way back to my house.
Nothing was heard in the car other than Christian's coos, other than that, silence. I sighed a we pulled up to my block and before I knew it we had pulled up to my house and he parked the car. I got out with my keys and Christian's bag in hand. Chris grabbed his car seat and I opened the door.
I placed our stuff on the counter top and Chris took him out of the car seat and walked over to me with him in his hands. "See you later, buddy." He said before kissing his cheek. I handed him to me and pulled his ringing phone out his pocket. "Wassup, baby?" he said before looking back at my and smirking.
I rolled my eyes at him before I heard his obnoxious laugh. "Bye baby mama!" he laughed before slamming the door. He's so childish, I swear.
Within the next hour, I gave Christian his bath and put him to sleep. It was only 7:30 and I was ready to go to sleep. I sighed as I plopped into my comfortable bed. I couldn't think about anything else other than Chris's actions today. But why should it matter? This is what I wanted...Right?