The wonderful, but also dreadful, day rolled around. I was not prepared, not even the slightest, for anything on this day. I had my meeting, I looked like death though. After hearing of my grandma's death, I hadn't slept or eaten very well, I just didn't feel like it. But Louis made me eat something and tried to help me sleep, he was wonderful like that, even when Charly had called about things he made sure to help us as well as he could. He was struggling too.
He told me, two days later, that he got signed. I couldn't be happier for him, both our dreams were coming true. We could finally do what we loved together. It was going to be great. Once I get through this rough patch.
"Ni, you ready?" I walked out the bathroom, my eyes droopy and face lacking colour. This was not the look I wanted for my interview and signing of a contract.
"I look like Hell" I mumbled. Louis smiled fondly at me, he walked over and placed a light kiss on my lips.
"You do look a little down, but still look great" I lightly smiled. "You just need colour in your face"
"How am I supposed to do that?" he just smirked, kissing my lips, down my chin to my neck, pressing soft warm, kisses. It normally felt good, I loved when he did it, it got me flustered. Today, it didn't. "Lou, stop" I pushed his face away. "Stop please"
"Not helping?" I shook my head. A small, sad, smile fell upon his lips. "Alright" he kissed my nose. "You still look good, are you ready?" I just nodded. It was now or never. "Good, we'll leave as soon as your interview is over, alright?" I nodded again. I couldn't believe the funeral was tomorrow and I would need to be attending it. My heart tore at the thought.
We left our campus and Louis drove me down to the address. A tall building, more than 20 floors high, stood in front of us. My heart raced, I was nervous, and I felt sick. I didn't know if I could do it.
"Ni, you're gonna be fine. They just want to talk to you, okay? You're just signing a contract"
"I know, but... I'm still frightened. What if they want me to hide who I am?" he took my hands into his.
"Then don't sign the contract. You can't let them control you, okay?" I nodded. "I'm going to go home and get our things and I'll be right back. You'll be fine" he pecked my lips. I nodded again. I could do this, I can do this.
I climbed out of Louis's car and walked into the building, asking the receptionist to send me in the right direction. 'Up the elevator to level 16' her words rang in my head. I did as told and finally found my way to a conference room. Lots of men were standing around a table, a pile of paper in front of them.
"Mr Horan. Pleasure to meet you in person. I must say, very impressive work" I shook the man's hand firmly and thanked him for his words. "Now, we have the contract here to have a look at, if you wouldn't mind" he gestured to the paper. I nodded and began to read over the words.
Payment, copyright, tour dating, breaks, albums, dating.
I read over the section multiple times, hoping I was reading the words correctly. I couldn't go through with that. There was no way I could. I couldn't sign the contract with this part being in there. It wasn't right, it wasn't who I am.
"Is everything alright Mr Horan?" I looked up blankly then to the paper. my throat was dry. This was once in a life time opportunity and I could potentially blow it.
"This, um, dating thing" I stated. "I don't think I can do this. I can't date a girl" they stared at me.
"Are you taken Mr Horan?" I bit my lip looking down at the table that held the contract.
"I am. But no to a girl... I'm in a relationship with a guy. I'm gay..."
"Oh, well then" I panicked, I couldn't lose this, this was my dream. Why did there have to be homophobes out there?
"Please don't get rid of me" I pleaded. "I love this and want this so badly, it's my dream" the words left my mouth uncontrollably.
"Mr Horan. We are not going to let you go" the man chuckled. "Now tell me. Are you both out? Does he understand the consequences of your job?" I was shocked, I was sure they were going to get rid of me for this.
"We, we are, out that is. He um, he's just been signed to Doncaster Football Club. He knows what he's getting into" they nodded.
"It's a good thing we have contracts made for these things. Here is your new contract to read over, please if anything at all is wrong do tell us. We want you on board Niall. You will be a great asset to us"
I read the new contract. Everything was great. I didn't need to be hidden, I could date Louis and be open about it while having the best amount of time for album releases and touring. I couldn't wait to tell Louis when he picked me up.
Soon enough, everything was signed and I was on the way to fame. I almost ran out to the car when everything was finalised. I jumped into the car and kissed Louis before he got the chance to say a word.
"Hello to you too" he laughed when I pulled away. "It all went well then?"
"It went great. It was amazing, they were so nice and they had a contract for me so I don't have to hide that I'm gay. We can be open about this Lou!"
"That's amazing baby. I'm so proud of you" he kissed me this time. "Now, I don't want to burst your bubble but, are you okay to leave now?" and thats when my mood dropped. "Hey, babe, I'm sorry"
"It's fine. It's gotta happen, we better go, don't want to be late" he nodded and rested a hand on my thigh. Everything will be alright, as long as he is with me. I will be okay.
+
We arrived in Ireland late and tired. Louis dragged our over night bags, filled to the brim of clothes for more than a day, and walked up to my, now just, grandad's house. We were welcomed in and I hugged my immediate family, Louis did too, giving his condolences to everyone.
Louis and I sat down with some tea, and I relaxed into his body, while he drew lines up and down my arm. It was peaceful and relaxing.
"So, Louis, any improvements in your game?" my dad asked him. I closed my eyes and just allowed myself to listen to his beautiful voice.
"Actually, the Rovers signed me, I'm now a member" he stated proudly. "But Niall here just signed his own contract" my eyes shot open. "We flew out after he signed a contract at Sony. He's going to be a singer"
Everyone congratulated me. I blushed, feeling embarrassed, I didn't like the attention being on me like this. It odd and unnatural. Louis just kissed my cheek for comfort.
Not too long later, everyone was going to bed, and I was helping Louis pull out the bed from the couch for us to sleep on. The night felt almost normal, just a little odd that my grandma wasn't present. It was slightly empty.
Louis held me close to him the whole night. We shared soft and small kisses, it made me feel better about the whole situation. He was so sweet and loving to me the whole time, he never let me go until I drifted off to sleep, but even when I woke, he was still holding me close to him.
The morning dragged on, eating a small breakfast and getting dressed in black clothing really made the whole morning quite the downer. Louis tried to make a smile a little, kissing me in the little places that normally make me giggle, but did nothing but bring a small smile to my face. He tried telling jokes, but nothing was helping.
When the time came to leave, I gripped Louis's hand tightly. I didn't want to have to say goodbye for the last time. It couldn't be happening. Louis held on to me tightly and comforted me throughout the whole service. I bawled through it all. It just hurt too much to see all the memories of her.
The wake was nice, a little get together of everyone at one of the club halls in the town, the only place big enough to serve food to people and allow them to roam around and talk. Louis and I sat on the couch with a plate of mini cakes that he was feeding me. I would take a bite then he would have one. It was a cute coupley thing to do. He even kissed me when I had icing on my mouth, getting rid of the sweetness.
"How are you feeling?" he asked softly in my ear.
"I'm alright" I shrugged. "Can't believe that was the last time I would ever see her again" there was an open casket for everyone to say goodbye one more time. I nearly collapsed into Louis's arms seeing her there, looking so lifeless and cold, it was horrible. A sight I dread to see again.
"Good" he kissed my cheek, then pressed more cake to my lips.
A moment later, my grandad wanted to grab everyone's attention to do a small speech. I found that sweet and very courageous of him for the circumstances of the day.
"I want to thank you for coming here, it means-" he was stopped by a phone, and not just any phone, Louis's. Everyone looked at us while Louis frantically pulled his phone from his pocket. He apologised and left the room to take the call. It must be important if he could take it in a time like this.
I watched as he walked to the corner of the room, speaking to someone. I strained my ears to try and listen to what he was saying but I couldn't hear anything over my grandad's speech. Louis seemed frantic as the conversation continued to carry on. He was biting his nails and running his hand into his hair. Whatever was happening didn't look good.
The speech finished and that's what pulled my attention away. I lightly clapped for him, it took guts to do that. I don't think I could ever talk to people if my loved one passed away. It would be too hard. I sighed sadly, playing with the rim of my glass, wanting Louis to come back to my side.
A hand touched my shoulder and I jumped. "Sorry" Louis said. "Um, Charly's gone into labor"
"Oh" I breathed out.
"I told her what was happening, so I said I'd stay with you" I looked up at him. So grateful he did that, but deep in his eyes I could see he wanted to be there, and I couldn't let him miss this. The most important part of his life could definitely not be missed, at all. I wouldn't allow it.
"No. Go, I want you to go see the birth" his eyes grew hopeful.
"I can't... You need me" I shook my head.
"I'm old enough to handle this, go, go be with her" I took his hands into mine. "Please. This is important, I want you to go"
"But you're important too" he stated.
"But you only see the birth once, you'll see me all the time" I didn't want him to leave, honestly, part of me wanted him to ditch the whole idea and just stay, but it wasn't right. "Go, before she has the baby" he almost cried, pressing a kiss to my lips, he thanked me and ran off out the doors.
I felt empty and alone. I wanted him with me, I needed him here, but he has his own life. He now has a child to care for and someone to raise him or her with. I would always be on the outside. I loved him so much, but could I handle it now it was here?
"Where'd Louis go?" my mum asked me, her eyes were red like mine and she held a cup of water in her hand.
"Home. His baby is on the way" with those words, I knew I had a very hard decision to make, and I think I knew the answer already.
A/N OMFG intense or what. Comment and vote, I miss you all on this fic