alex. poor little alex.
there's a catch to all things.
one thing can not be grasped without the loss of another.
one choice cannot be act upon until you decide to not act upon the other.
one descion can change everything.
i wonder if you thought of this the day you stopped.
stopped what you asked? stopped acting like i meant anything.
you took what little ego you had left and tossed me around like a rag doll.
it's hilarious in retrospect, the passion of it all.
i felt so much when i saw you, that first week of 9th grade.
i was new. you had been there longer then me by one year.
i loved you, actually.
naïve, isn't it?
what feelings could such a feeble minded fifteen year old have towards a stunning brown haired, blue eyed boy who had told her she was beautiful?
i had never been called beautiful before.
did you know that?
did you care?
did it occur to you that when you uttered those simple words the crashing waves of affection and emotion would drown me?
the surface of the water flew high above my head.
i had fallen so deeply in love, so deep in those words i gave them meaning they never had.
see, when you said them, i though you would have meant them.
maybe once you did.
but then again, one can stay underwater for only so long.
i saved myself from you.
i grew past your ignorance and towards the love of others.
i have moved on. have you?
do you still see the beauty in me that you once did?
do you ever think about that night you've tried to forget?
did it ever mean anything to you?
did i ever mean anything to you?
i think i did once.
but that was then and this is now.
and i've long gone forgotten your smile.
reason #1: your forgetfulness