The jar as my fist meets the resistance of flesh is accompanied by a meaty thud as I land a solid punch to the mid section of the stray in front of me. A slight grunt of pain is all that escapes his tightly clenched jaws even though I put good effort into the blow.
"I repeat, why were you stalking women?" Wade demands tightly.
When no there is no reply to his question, Wade nods to me and I repeat the blow. This time, I strike on the other side of the torso as I search for sensitive spots left by the beating Malcolm administered in an effort to gain answers to Wade’s questions.
"What were you doing stalking human women? What did you hope to achieve?" Wade demands flatly.
Again there is no answer and I deliver a flurry of blows at Wade’s signal. This time groans of pain reward my efforts but I feel no pleasure. Unfortunately sometimes physical violence is the only way to pry necessary information out of a reluctant stray. We need to know why he has knowingly and persistently been on clan land without permission when he has clearly been doing much more than passing through.
Stray werecats rarely travel in the company of other cats and frequently leave behind clear evidence of kills when they feed in cat form. That and their tendency to travel in cat form during the day greatly increase the chances of being sighted by humans. Strays passing through are warned to notify us that they will be moving through our territory. This knowledge helps us work out which few strays are troublemakers and which are merely moving from one location to another. Most of the other clans have similar rules with the movements of strays, and I do know a few clans who strictly forbid strays crossing their clan territory at any time. Clan members always extend the courtesy of asking permission before venturing onto another clan’s territory and there has never been any refusal of permission to my knowledge.
"Ok already!" The stray gasps, "I get the message! Stay away from humans."
"What were you doing stalking human women?" Wade demands evenly. "Answer my question."
Again there is no answer but I wait for a signal from Wade before punching the stray again. This time I have winded him and it takes a few seconds before he can draw a breath to groan.
"What were you doing on Williamson clan territory?" Wade asks.
"I was looking for someone I used to run with," the stray admits before coughing painfully.
"Why the interest in human women?" Wade demands harshly with a nod.
I give the stray no time to answer as I deliver several hard punches to his ribs. The blows leave him groaning in pain as he swings by his arms where they are bound above his head and secured to a short chain hanging from a cross beam. He raises his head to glare at me a few seconds before letting it fall forward once again.
It is a real possibility he had formed a relationship with a human, which raises the possibility of interbreeding between the two. This could result in seemingly a human baby being born only to become turned into a stray at some further time in their life. While the difference in the blood make-up is nearly undetectable in a newborn baby it becomes much more noticeable in those about to ‘turn’. Clan Alphas generally try to keep track of any such children in hopes of being able to render assistance at that time in their lives.
"What makes you assume I was looking for a human female?" the stray says, clearly relishing the furious growls his taunt elicits.
I don’t wait for Wade’s signal this time and aim for the stray’s face. I feel teeth come loose and skin split beneath my knuckles as I hand out a savage beating. Was he hinting he had been hunting the she-kitt born in this territory? Just the thought of a stray like this getting anywhere near Jazzy spurs me on and even Wade doesn’t object as I land punishing blow after punishing blow. Cartilage crunches as his nose breaks and I back off several steps as I manage to control the urge to smash his face beyond recognition.
A faint sound from the doorway catches my attention and my stomach clenches as I see Rosy just inside the open door staring at the stray with a look of horrified recognition on her face.
I realise with shock that the stray is talking to her, knows her and when she responds to his taunts she is nearly hissing and spitting in fear of him. Suddenly the pieces start to fall into place and I glance at Wade and see the realisation on his face as well.
"You know him?" I ask as I walk towards Rosy.
The stray taunts us all, clearly enjoying her distress and fear. He can’t help himself and has to boast of his knowledge of her, revealing a lot of information about them both. He subtly reinforces a fear and distrust of clan cats he admits to causing and when he swears at Wade I unleash punishment once again.
He was the bastard who had gotten Rosy pregnant! He boasted of tracking her down and catching her to repeatedly and brutally rape her. He intentionally hurt her, making what should have been a very pleasurable experience into a horrifying and painful time for her. I can only watch as Rosy flees the building but not before looking at me with fear and horror. I glare at the stray and when he replies with scorn to a question from Wade, I step forward and deliver several short, hard blows up beneath his lower ribs stealing his breath for several minutes.
"How well do you know Rosy?" Wade asks coldly.
"Go to hell you clan mongrel," the stray laughs. "Why should I tell you anything? Yous don’t even know what has been under your noses all this time."
"I would have thought someone smart enough to continually elude us for as many years as you have would be smarter than this," Wade says slowly with a shake of his head. "You know we can’t let you get away with one: potentially exposing the existence of our species. And two: the rape of a she-kitt. Now if you were to give us the information we want without us having to beat it out of you … I would be a lot more lenient with you."
I watch as the stray turns the information over in his mind. His eyes dart between the warriors behind me.
"What do you want to know?" he asks reluctantly.
"How long have you known Rosy is a werecat?" Wade asks.
"Eight, maybe closer to eight and a half years," the stray sneers with a glance my way clearly expecting punishment for his disrespect.
I let it go. I know that we will get more information from him if he doesn’t fear punishment at every hint of defiance.
"You mentioned Kendal," Wade says levelly, "would that be Kendal Darnel?"
"Only Kendal I know of," he admits levelly. "We taught her a lot of tricks. How else would she have survived mostly alone for that length of time? Hell even we had trouble catching her. I can generally run her into the ground but the Darnels are the ones who tried to trap her."
"Tried to trap her?" Wade queries softly.
I watch the sneer form on the stray’s face, clearly he is enjoying taunting us with his knowledge.
"They couldn’t catch her so I done them a little deal," the stray licks his lips, his eyes moving shiftily. "I sold her to them. The first time she came into heat fully I drugged her but she was only groggy when they came for her. She nearly managed to outrun them. You should have heard her screaming when they took turns on her. Hell if I didn’t know better I would have thought she didn’t know what they were doing to her!"
I hear the low growls this elicits from several of the warriors behind me and I glare over my shoulder at them as I swallow my own anger.
"Tell me all you know about Rosy," Wade demands. "Did you know she integrated herself into human society? Is that why you were stalking human females? No use denying it, we know of several reports of women who believed they had been followed at night and watched for an extended period of time. The reports include a large black cat-like or dog-like animal in the same neighbourhoods on the same nights."
When the stray still fails to answer, Wade gives a shake of his head. "It’s obvious who you were looking for and why. You’re just wasting my time now."
Unease flickers briefly on the stray’s face as he glances between Wade and myself.
"You have given us some information. What is your name by the way?" Wade asks neutrally.
"Jasper," the stray answers after a short silence. Clearly he is afraid of us but is determined not to hand over any more information.
"That all? Only Jasper?" Wade asks and when there is no reply from the stray he glances at me and gives a slight nod before turning his attention back to the stray.
"Jasper Stray, I as an Alpha recognised by the Were Board of Governors hereby find you guilty of severely mistreating a she-kitt. The mistreatment includes repeatedly mounting her against her will and selling her as chattel to outlaws for carnal purposes. You are also guilty of stalking human females with what could only be a view to force yourself on them sexually." Wade takes a deep breath and resumes. "You have also risked disclosing the existence of our species as a whole by being repeatedly seen in cat form near human dwellings. The sentence for all of these offences is execution, to be carried out …"
"Wait! Wait," the stray interjects frantically, "I know more about that little she-kitt, more about the Darnels!"
"What do you know?" Wade asks in a cold even tone. I can tell he doesn’t care for the stray’s attempt at bargaining for his life.
"I tell you," the strays says and licks his lips nervously as he glances at me, "and I get to live. What I know is surely worth that."
"You tell me what it is and I’ll decide," Wade says coldly.
"You got to promise me my life first!" the stray says frantically with a nervous glance my way. I bare my teeth in a parody of feral delight as the warriors behind me move closer, and he watches us with growing fear.
"Or I can get the information the old fashioned way," Wade says with a nod my way.
"Timny you got your pocket knife?" I ask with a mockery of a smile for the stray.
"It’s right here," Timny answers and I growl with satisfaction.
"Want to do some cutting Malcolm? Edwin? Teach this stray to be more respectful of all females? Make sure he’d never be a threat to one again?" I ask on a low snarl.
I nearly miss the snarls of agreement beneath the stray’s shout of disbelieving fear as he realises what I mean. I watch in grim satisfaction as the other warriors close in on him and his arms are released from the chain above his head. He is wrestled down onto the floor despite his struggles. He has years of experience surviving as a stray and almost fights free. I take him down to the floor of the shed with a shoulder to the stomach and once Edwin and his team have hold of the stray I back off.
He has admitted to brutally raping a female on several occasions but as a stray he probably would not know the standard but seldom used punishment of castration is not used by our clan. Still the scare value of the threat should yield the information he claims to have.
I watch as he fights wildly almost breaking free. Edwin punches him several times in the face before he and Malcolm manage to pin the stray successfully.
"The knife cut me!" Chris hisses in stunned surprise. Blood soaks one sleeve and down that side of his body indicating a serious injury.
"Chris! Oh shit!" Malcolm’s voice is filled with panic and both Steven and I immediately move to help hold the stray down so Malcolm can go to his brother. The stray fights our hold briefly but outnumbered and over-powered he soon eases his struggles.
"Where is all that blood from?" Malcolm demands frantically. "Your arm isn’t that bad!"
"It’s not his! Damn it!" Steven says from the other side of the stray.
I become aware of the weakness of the struggles of our prisoner and look down as I realise I am kneeling in something wet. There is a large dark patch on one thigh of his ragged jeans and a growing pool of blood beneath him. A cut runs up the thigh and across the groin of the leg Chris had been holding down. Steven is jerking his t-shirt off over his head and quickly presses it where blood wells from beneath the fabric rapidly in a pulsing rhythm that tells of an injury to a major artery.
"Femoral artery," Edwin mutters even as he keeps his grip on the injured prisoner.
One glance tells me the blood loss is fast reaching fatal levels and the position of the cut prevents adequate pressure being applied to stop further loss. I feel for the pulse in the stray’s neck even as I take in his ashen face and colourless lips. Wade kneels down and places a hand on the stray’s chest over his heart, but the weakening pulse beneath my fingers already tell me Steven’s attempts are achieving very little in prolonging the stray’s death.
"We’re doing all we can for you," Wade tells him quietly. "We were trying to scare more information out of you, you were not meant to be injured."
"A fat lot of difference it makes now!" Jasper gasps and I can hear the weakness in his voice.
"What is it you were going to tell me about Rosy?" Wade asks gently and motions for us to ease our holds on him.
"It’s my baby … don’t mistreat it just ‘cause I’m a stray …" His voice trails off and although he opens and shuts his mouth nothing more comes from it.
"No kitt will ever be mistreated here," Wade tells him. "You have my word as an Alpha."
Less than a minute later the stray breathes his last breath. I stand staring at the now dead stray for nearly a minute before glancing at the warriors standing around the body. Malcolm is still occupied with his brother but everyone else is starting to shift from foot to foot restlessly.
"It was an accident," Wade says quietly.
"I’m sorry Boss," Timny says contritely. "I only meant to prick him with the tip of the blade."
"It’s not your fault," Wade says quietly, "It all happened so quickly …"
The speed with which death can strike is horrifyingly fast; I know it wasn’t meant to end like this. The execution would have been carried out quickly and cleanly; no one should die terrified and in a pool of their own blood. I feel kind of sick as I realise Rosy will probably believe his death supports all she has been told about clan cats killing strays.
"What now Boss?" Steven asks in the heavy silence. The accidental killing of the stray has left us all quiet.
"Go get cleaned up in the shower here. No one is to clean up in the quarters, I don’t want Rosy upset anymore than she has been," Wade orders. "First one through go grab clean clothes for everyone so you don’t go back there stinking like a dead stray."
I supervise the wrapping of the corpse in an old sheet before helping to clean up all traces of blood in the room with the aide of a high-pressure hose. Wade has left the shed no doubt to report the death of the stray and relay the accusations made against the Darnels to several other Alphas who have had trouble with the outlaws. Edwin is by one of the benches when I carry the restraints we used over to be hung on their hook. He grins at me and glances at Steven, Malcolm and Dwayne who are the only other ones left in the building.
"Sounds like that stray had Rosy all trained to open her legs and let him climb on whenever he wanted to," Edwin says in a very soft whisper and I turn disbelieving eyes on him.
"A little bit of kindness and I bet she’ll let anyone climb on and show her what it’s all about," Edwin says in those same soft tones as he moves away from me. He isn’t fast enough and I am on him with a growl of pure fury as I take him down to the floor and begin launching punches at him wildly.
"Hey stop it!" I hear the other three yelling in chorus. I become aware of the other three trying to drag us apart and I clasp two hands full of shirt near Edwin’s throat forcing the others to rip his shirt to pull us apart.
"What the hell was that about?" Dwayne demands angrily as he, Steven and Malcolm force me back against the wall.
"I don’t know," Edwin mutters from where he is getting to his feet and dusting himself off. "He just totally lost it for no reason."
I glare at him. To repeat his words would be useless. Even though he often caused me trouble no one would believe he would say such stuff about a she-kitt, any she-kitt. I shake my head. And I realise the best I can do is keep a watchful eye on him around Rosy just in case. I walk away from the others and run both hands through my hair pushing it back off my forehead before clasping my hands behind my head as I try to calm down.
I really need to get it cut, I let out a gusty snort. Some poor bastard dies bleeding like a stuck pig and I’m worrying about a haircut? Man! I really need to get a grip!
I am the last one to use the shower and take my time washing away the filth I imagine clings to me after dealing with the stray. A meal is being cooked when I walk into the quarters and I glance around the lounge room and kitchen quickly looking for Rosy.
"She’s hiding in Sam and Mitchell’s room," Steven tells me quietly.
"That bastard told her nothing but bullshit about clan cats," I say tightly as I run a hand back over my head brushing my hair off my forehead. The stray claimed to have known her for over eight years. How are we to undo so long of being fed lies about clan cats? A feeling of helpless anger fills me. My inner cat rages at the pain and suffering Rosy has endured at the hands of others. I want to smash my fists into something, preferably Edwin’s face, until this anger is gone.
"Want Pete to go and see if he can get her to come out to the lounge room?" Steven asks.
"No, I’ll give it a try. She seemed like she wanted my approval until now," I say thinking back on the last few days. "Maybe she’ll try to avoid doing anything to aggravate me," I add thinking on Jazzy’s remarks about how dominance affected she-kitts.
"Do you think he trained her to be nothing more than a trouble maker?" Steven asks quietly.
"That’s one of things we will need to try to find out," I admit softly.
"Shame Mitchell isn’t here. She’d already be out in the lounge room," Pete says.
I take several minutes to ensure I am totally calm before making my way to the bedroom where she is hiding. She is curled up on Mitchell’s bed hugging his pillow to her. She avoids meeting my eyes when she glances my way as I enter the room. I can smell her fear thick in the room and take in the way she is laying hunched over the pillow. I try tempting her out of the room with food, refusing to let her eat in there despite her intense fear. She needs to learn none of us intend to hurt her and the best way to learn that is for her to be around us and see how we treat her.
"Leave me alone," her voice is thick with misery. "I want Mitchell."
"What is it you want? Mitchell explains things to you, doesn’t he?" I ask patiently.
"Am I in trouble?" She whispers after several minutes, "Am I going to be punished?"
"Well you shouldn’t have gone near the brick shed as you know, but no, you’re not going to be punished. Not this time," I say evenly not wanting her to think she can get away with knowingly breaking rules. "Now come out and try to eat something."
I have to urge her off the bed and out to the lounge room and immediately she wants to return to the safety of the bedroom. It is hard not to lose patience with her, and as I try to coax her to stay she claims to be scared of Edwin and his team who are in the kitchen.
"Why?" I ask in growing exasperation and watch as she tries to pull away from my light grasp on her uninjured wrist. It seems like her progress has regressed drastically today and I am not sure how to reassure her or show her that no one intends to harm her. My inner cat urges me to hold her, comfort her, but I am not sure how she would take it at this stage. All I can do is offer support with my presence.
"I told yous it was a she-kitt at the service station several months back when we chased that stray out of the bar," Malcolm says as he moves to where the kitchen opens off the lounge room. Edwin moves up beside him and leads the way into the lounge room. I stand there silently as Rosy moves behind me glancing around me to speak defensively. As she stands her ground it becomes clear we have chased her on numerous occasions. She is fearful and tense but stands her ground with amazing courage until Steven asks me if he should get Wade. Her fear changes to panic, then flight mode, but I manage to wrap her in both my arms and force her to the lounge. She fights with surprising strength but soon stops struggling and I force her to sit down, while I sit beside her trying to calm her and stop her from running from us.
I ask questions about her movements and behaviour on clan territory and I am surprised when she begins answering my questions. I hear the ring of truth in her words and realise that although she associated with the executed stray she didn’t seem to share his resentful and belligerent manner. It soon becomes evident she fears Edwin and his team because of them chasing her. The more she talks the more certain I am they came closest to catching her. Maybe even closer than the stray, Jasper, had despite his boast. A near capture several months earlier had been a trick of fate when she chanced stopping for food. She clearly had not planned to cause mischief, just feed herself and maybe snatch a little rest before continuing on her way.
The more I hear, the more certain I am she is in no way a troublemaker. She simply had not known the protocol to cross clan territory. It isn’t until I growl a warning at Malcolm that a remark from Rosy makes me realise she is expecting to be attacked during any argument as she is the smallest and weakest present. Resigned to her fear of me, I move away and head to the kitchen to dish up a meal for her as well as myself. I hear her moving around and when I turn to return to the lounge room I am pleased to see she had not fled to the bedroom as I had expected. She is instantly all attention on the food and is quick to sit on the lounge for me to hand her a plate. I make myself comfortable near her and I am almost amused at the way she seems to dismiss me as a threat and inches slightly closer when Timny talks to her.
It is almost painful to see the way she instantly guards her food. I am not the only one to notice this as the other warriors exchange discreet glances with me. Timny offers her a piece of crackling and it is saddening to see her stuff it quickly into her mouth, her entire demeanour exposing that she expects it to be snatched back from her. When the meal is finished I catch Rosy licking her hand like a child and send her to wash it before I head for the kitchen to pile the dirty pans in a heap to wash later. I am surprised when I hear her return to the lounge room and keep a discreet watch as Edwin turns on the charm and moves close to her.
I have to swallow my anger as Edwin pushes to get her to let him touch her and place his hand on her stomach. She is scared but submits to his touch and I move closer to offer comfort and support with my presence. I praise her acceptance of the attention from the others but I also subtlety warn them not to pressure her. I also spare Edwin a glare to let him know I am watching his interaction with Rosy much more closely after his remark in the stone shed.
When the subject of her having to change to cat form and back before retiring for the night comes up Rosy panics and flees the room hiding herself away once more. Frustration stirs again; just as she seems to begin learning we aren’t out to hurt her, the mention of changing sparks her fear of male werecats. I am shaken to realise it is not a fear of us but more a fear of being vulnerable around us. While basically she knows she can trust us, she hasn’t had enough time to be where she does trust us. Slowly and gently I try speaking with her, going over the new revelations from today. I take my time and refuse to react when she clearly expects punishment. As she responds slowly and hesitantly I realise she wants to learn, wants to trust. I offer her a compromise that will hopefully encourage her to change.
I wait in the lounge room impatient to see if she will manage to control her fear enough to change to cat form. I know if she can manage it she will make real progress. Once in cat form strays are a lot less fearful of other cats. Hopefully her instincts will take over and enable her to begin to be able to tell we don’t wish to hurt her.
I am taken back by the beauty of her cat when she appears in the lounge room door way. She moves on three legs; her injured paw held high off the ground but she is all sinuous grace as she moves into the room. There is no wild panic as she looks at us taking in the fact that Edwin, Steven and Pete are in cat form. This is extremely encouraging, we are getting through to her subconscious. I watch as the three toms introduce their cat form to her. I leave them be until Steven starts to get very friendly grooming her shoulders and moving his body closer. I find myself calling Rosy to me. It is not just my inner cat protesting his over friendliness - it is all of me.
The feel of her coat under my hand as she settles herself on the lounge near me is heavenly and I stroke her gently wanting her to become accustomed to my touch. I ignore Edwin’s not so subtle hint that my touch infers more than simple contact, and I am rewarded with a soft purr when my fingers find the itchy spot behind her ears.
Donovan’s sudden arrival causes concern but there is no vicious or predatory gleam in Rosy’s striking violet eyes, only curiosity. She even seems to welcome his attentions as he scratches behind her ears and then down her spine going over all the hard to reach places. It isn’t until Donovan mentions the executed stray that Rosy reacts and then her fear sends her from the room. I try to remain calm as I explain to Donovan what he just did, but anger for what I know Rosy has endured colours my voice as I give Donovan a stern warning before telling Steven to change back to human form and come to the main house with me.
It is the early hours of the morning when I relax in one of the lounge chairs before going to bed. It has been a long and tiring day between dealing with the stray and coping with Rosy. It is hard going but I feel we are slowly making progress with her. Two steps forward then one step back; although it felt like all the backwards steps had come at once today and the forward steps seemed too few and too far apart. I am also beginning to understand the way she thinks and what has caused her to think this way. It will be easier to help her with her fears, as I have come to understand they’re not as ridiculous as I had once thought. Her world, although nearly the same one as clan cats lived in, had been presented to her from the warped and twisted mind of a troublemaking stray.
As I settle in bed for a few hours sleep I smile as I remember the soft, silky feel of her coat beneath my hand. A few more occasions like that and she should start gaining enough self-confidence to begin interacting with us without always being afraid of us. A moment’s unease makes me frown; I am sure I have forgotten something. Unable to place what it is I roll onto my side and close my eyes as I imagine what it will feel like to be able to hold Rosy in my arms, what it will feel like when she lets me kiss her once again. The image of her in cat form refuses to leave my mind and keeps my body aroused making me remember kissing her and holding her when she was leaving after the meal at Pete’s.
I stand beside Donna silently as she lays flowers on Alex’s grave. She kneels beside the recently dug soil as she stares down at the blossoms. Slowly she gets to her feet and allows me to lead her away from the grave and to a blanket spread out in the dappled shade beneath one of the orange trees in the orchard.
"I’m sorry I didn’t make it here for Alex’s funeral Micah," Donna says gently as I seat myself on the blanket beside her. "And I’m sorry that the stray she-kitt your clan has rescued lost her unborn kitt. It wouldn’t have been able to replace him but the kitt would have been something good coming to the clan."
I nod silently. The loss of my brother is still too raw just five days after his funeral for me to be able to talk about him comfortably with anyone who hadn’t lived with the irrepressible clown that had been Alex. As for Rosy, it seemed incredibly wrong to talk with Donna about her.
"We’ll make a good marriage Micah. We both get on with the other’s family," Donna says earnestly. "I’m healthy and will be only too happy to give you a daughter no matter how many sons we have first."
She turns to look into my face and hesitates a moment before putting both hands on my face and pressing her lips to mine. She runs her small hands down over my shoulders as she wriggles closer on my lap. Her tongue slips between my lips and she moans as she presses herself against my chest. She pulls at the front fastenings of my shirt and I feel the first stirrings of desire. The soft little sounds she makes stir my inner cat and I take control of the kiss as I feast hungrily on her lips. The way her body rubs against mine quickly has me hard and I wrap both arms around her before twisting and taking both our bodies down onto the blanket. Her hands move restlessly over my chest and I am surprised at her boldness as one hand skims down the front of my jeans to cup me through the material.
"I want you Micah," Donna whispers. The sound of her voice breaks the hold lust has on my body and I run a hand through my hair distractedly. She pulls away from me slightly only to lean back and look around cautiously before rolling away from me and reaching beneath her skirt to quickly discard her underwear. I return her kisses when she presses against my body once again. She takes hold of one of my hands and I am not surprised when she guides it beneath the skirt of her dress to the mound of curls between her legs.
"Micah," The sound of her breathless whimper breaks through the haze of lust and I begin to ease her away from me." Do you want to play around in my honey pot before putting a condom on and squirting inside me?" Donna offers against my lips, a hint of desperation in her voice.
"I don’t think we should go that far Donna," I tell her, not sure exactly how to put what I have suddenly realised I need to tell her. I sit up and push my hair back off my face nervously as I try to work out a gentle way to put the blunt truth.
"Micah?" Donna’s soft voice cuts into the silence between us and I hear the rustle of material as she rearranges her skirt.
"Yeah Donna?" I question quietly with a glance her way.
She smiles a tight, painful smile before looking away quickly. "Timny told me that … that the she-kitt sleeps with you. I need to know Micah, is there anything between the two of you?" her voice is rushed and breathless, filled with anxiety.
"Nothing has happened between us Donna," I say quietly, "Rosy is in a very bad place at present."
Just Donna mentioning Rosy makes what I know I must tell Donna all the more pressing. Had Donna intended to try to push any errant thoughts of Rosy from my mind with our coupling?
"I saw her in the lounge room of the quarters when Timny took me inside to wait for you to come over from your parents’ house," Donna tells me quietly. "She’s very pretty, all that long blonde hair and huge eyes."
I remain silent, did she want a response from me? What had her brother told her? I can’t help but wonder as I take a quick glance her way.
"Why are yous torturing her Micah?" Donna asks and I turn to face her angrily. There are tears in her eyes and her bottom lip and chin are trembling. "She’s so sad it hurt me to see her. And all she did was sit on the lounge staring out the big window. She wasn’t in the room Micah. Not in her head, her body was there but I don’t think her soul was and her mind was definitely out on that mountain she was staring at."
The words come from her in a rush, and in my heart I know what Donna is saying is true. We are only trying to help Rosy but all we were managing to do was torture her. With that admitted to myself I realise there is someone else I am torturing: Donna.
"I’m sorry Donna," I say gently and turn my head to look at her. I watch as she shakes her head, tears filling her pretty brown eyes. She covers her mouth with one hand and looks away from me. "I don’t believe things between you and I will ever come to anything," I say apologetically, "Things have …"
"Stop it!" Donna cries sharply and takes a deep breath, "you told me nothing has happened between you and her. You still feel the same way about me don’t you?"
I hear the desperation in her voice and can’t stop myself reaching out to take hold of her hand. "I still respect you and regard you highly. I would never have accepted your second invitation if I hadn’t," I tell her gently.
"I’m not beautiful like her," Donna says unhappily. "And I doubt that with that tall slender body she will ever have to worry about keeping off the extra pounds that try to creep on once the babies start coming!"
"Looks are only skin deep. The real beauty goes down deep into the soul," I say gently and reach out to pull Donna into my arms. I don’t like seeing her so upset, and knowing I am the cause of it doesn’t sit comfortably.
"You’re beautiful Donna," I tell her gently. "Don’t ever doubt that. I still admire and respect you greatly but you deserve more than that. You deserve someone who thinks you are his entire world. And he thinks of you when he’s not with you, wants to be with you when you are apart." I rub my cheek against the side of her head feeling the slight growth of stubble catch on strands of her hair.
"You deserve someone, who when he closes his eyes, he sees your face. He thinks of only you and doesn’t think about others. You are a very dear friend Donna and I love you but I know now that I am not in love with you, and there is a big difference in that. We don’t get to choose who we fall in love with, it chooses us. One day you’ll meet some tom or really see a tom for the first time
– see past his appearance and you … " I find myself trailing off what I was saying and I take a deep breath before continuing. "When you look into his eyes, you’ll see his cat as well as the person. You’ll notice his heart beats in time with yours." I try to give voice to the thoughts in my head.
"Stop it! Just leave me alone," Donna cries as she gets to her feet. She spots her knickers on the grass beside the blanket, snatches them up and heads towards the quarters and house at a run.
I sigh deeply as I glance around. The blanket is rumpled and has pieces of dead grass scattered on it hinting at the passion we almost shared minutes earlier. I get to my feet resigned to the argument between us and pick up the blanket to shake the grass from it. I fold it roughly before tucking it under one arm and following Donna at a leisurely pace.
I find her at one of the work sheds where Timny, Malcolm, Chris and Edwin are servicing one of the tractors and cleaning the planting combine. Donna is standing close to Timny and ignores me as I pause in the doorway to check on how the work is going. Edwin makes a point of noiselessly acting as if he is sniffing before looking between Donna and I with a huge grin, clearly enjoying the signs of trouble between us. Chris, who is always kind and thoughtful towards she-kitts, is quietly explaining the work he and Timny are doing while Malcolm flexes his muscles as he checks all the attaching bolts are securely fastened.
"Wade is talking about taking Marissa and Jazzy to visit Stephan and Abby for a while," Edwin says when I go to turn away.
I hesitate as I look his way but he is intent on a bolt that is resisting Malcolm's attempts to undo it, and he doesn’t meet my eyes leaving me in no doubt this is a message that was meant to be delivered earlier. Uneasy glances from both Timny and Chris confirm this and I leave the shed as my anger burns at Edwin for his continuous sly manipulations. I find Wade in his private den at his work desk going over some papers; he glances up as I enter the room but goes straight back to what he is doing.
"I asked for you to come and see me nearly an hour ago," Wade says when he puts the papers aside and glares at me.
"I was breaking up with Donna, and only just got the message," I say levelly. I might as well come straight out with it - he would hear of it soon enough. If not from Donna’s father then probaly Edwin would make sure to let it slip at the most inopportune moment possible since he was clearly bent on stirring trouble for me with Wade.
"Do you think this clan needs the stress of you walking away from a highly suitable match so soon after Alex’s death?" Wade asks coldly. "Not that I didn’t expect it when I heard how you have wilfully disobeyed my orders and almost single-handedly taken over the responsibility of mentoring and caring for Rosy."
"If you had seen the progress she was making then you…" I tell him only to cut off when he pushes his chair back from the desk and stands up abruptly making the chair rock before settling on four legs once again.
"What? I saw how she threatened me over Alex’s injuries," Wade demands angrily. "If Rosy continues to do things that make me believe she is a threat to anyone here or she fails to progress in adapting to clan life because you saw fit to interfere and go against my orders …" I watch as Wade stops to take a deep breath in an attempt to control his anger.
"Head warrior or not," Wade bites out tersely, "if anything goes wrong with Rosy I will have you whipped! She is a she-kitt in very fragile health and must be protected at all costs!"
I remain silent as I meet Wade’s glare. I disobeyed his orders with the best of intentions, but when all is said and done the fact still remains that I have disobeyed him.
"I will be taking Marissa and Jazzy to the Willoughby compound for a few days. Your mother is taking Alex’s death very hard and Jazzy is fretting over Mitchell’s injuries. They both need some time away from here to recover," Wade says tightly.
"Can I suggest you take Donny along as well?" I ask calmly, "He and Alex were very close."
"Might as well take Justin along as well. Maybe he will be lucky enough to end up becoming an alpha some day. Celeste Willoughby should be reaching an age where she is looking at young toms," Wade announces.
I remain silent even though I know this is a not so subtle reference to Donna and myself.
"Timny and Chris will accompany us," Wade announces after a few moments thought. "I am sure Timny will want to visit his parents and offer his support to his sister in the next few days or weeks. I am sure Stephan will have a couple of warriors who can escort us home if Timny is still away when Marissa is ready to return."
"Yes Sir," I acknowledge evenly.
"Go and tell them to get ready; I want to leave within the hour." Wade orders and turns away without any further comment.
I am left to walk from the room, Wade’s anger with me still thick in the air between us. I pass Marissa in the kitchen where she stands at the sink looking out the window above it, she turns her head to glance at me. Her eyes are red-rimmed and blood shot in her pale face.
"Micah?" Marissa questions softly.
I hesitate a moment before walking over to her and engulfing her in a warm hug. She feels small and surprisingly fragile in my arms as I hold her, not in the least like the robust and strong person she was.
"I’ve lost my clown Micah," Marissa says thickly and sniffs moistly. "Who will make me laugh now?"
"Lost is such a harsh way to think of it Mum," I tell her gently. "You haven’t misplaced Alex. He is just in a place where you can no longer physically see or touch him. And I know he’s still in your heart, in all our hearts." The words come to me as I hold her and I give her a gentle squeeze and brush a kiss against her temple before allowing her to ease out of my embrace.
"How did I ever manage to find the most gentle heart and soul to put in such a large and powerful body?" Marissa asks with a watery smile. "But then that heart needs a large body to contain it."
I smile at her familiar words and drop a kiss on her forehead before turning towards the door.
"I love you Mum," I tell her before heading outside. I stop at the work shed to inform Timny and Chris that they need to pack. Timny is holding Donna who is crying and sends an angry glare my way while the other three warriors stand nearby silently. I glance at Donna one last time but she deliberately turns her back on me. I give a slight nod and head for the stone shed where Steven is doing some metal work.
"What doing?" Steven asks as I look at the small gate he is making.
"Wade is taking Marissa and the kitts away for a few days. I’m in the shit with him for breaking up with Donna and a few other things," I admit with a shrug.
"Let me guess," Steven says as he takes his leather work gloves off and half sits on an empty drum. "The few other things all have to do with Rosy."
"Yeah," I acknowledge, "he really does not want me near her."
"He wants better than a stray with no territory rights for his most promising son. You’re Alpha material just waiting for an available she-kitt, and he knows it. Every Alpha with a young daughter knows it," Steven says evenly.
I don’t make any comment; I know Wade has been subtly giving me Alpha training ever since I became head of the warriors that worked for the clan.
"I’ve been elected the one to speak to you about something else," Steven says seriously. I nod but don’t look his way. In my gut I know what is about to be asked of me and I know I won’t be able to do it.
"Rosy," Steven says quietly and a low growl begins growing deep in my chest.
"We can’t leave her like she is," Steven tells me and I turn my head to glare at him in rage.
"I won’t be the one," I snarl.
"Micah, she’s not crazy yet. At least Dwayne, Sam and I don’t think so. But she’s not far from it, and if she stays here …" Steven breaks off and takes a deep breath.
"About an hour ago Mitchell accidentally brushed against her foot. She freaked out screaming at him not to hurt her. It’s tearing us all apart mate. She doesn’t sleep more than an hour or two of a night, you and I are well aware of that. She is getting all she needs to eat and yet she guards her food viciously. She has even started watching others eat. She is becoming more animal than human and we wouldn’t treat any animal like this," Steven says unhappily.
What Donna said comes to mind and I narrow my eyes as I turn my head to look at Steven thoughtfully.
"Hey!" Steven says abruptly as he gets to his feet and moves well back. "I am just the messenger."
"Wade should be leaving soon so our main problem will be Mitchell," I murmur to myself.
"What are you thinking?" Steven asks quietly but still from a distance.
"If we were discussing an animal I would say it’s time to turn it loose and hope it can survive on its own," I say softly.
"Wade wouldn’t like that," Steven warns.
"Leave me worry about him," I say remembering Wade’s threat. "She would need a good night’s sleep before she left so she is rested."
"I think there is some of the tranquilliser Doc left behind, if there was no other way, but still …" Steven says shaking his head. He clearly hates the idea of drugging her as much as I do.
"The pressure point at the base of the skull," I say unhappily. "If Sam or I can get our hands on her before she thinks of turning cat – that pressure point will have her out in maybe ten or fifteen seconds. Once pressure is applied she won’t be able to change."
"That’ll only stress her out being touched…" Steven trails off with a frown, and then grins broadly.
"Hey! I bet there’s still some of that herbal mixture left from when Justin broke his arm. Doc said it would make him drowsy and he’d sleep soundly after he got his arm set. It worked, " Steven says with growing excitement.
"As soon as Wade leaves tell Sam and Dwayne I need to talk to them. I’ll go see Edwin and Malcolm, but I’ll talk to them after Sam and Dwayne so no one is left by himself with Rosy. Just in case," I say firmly.
"What about Mitchell?" Steven asks, "If he thinks you’re going to upset Rosy …"
"She needs the rest so she doesn’t do herself serious damage when she takes the chance to make a run for it," I say flatly. "When he understands the alternative is to put an end to her going crazy … he’ll let her go."
"How will we work it so she takes off," Steven asks. "All of us go hunting leaving her here by herself?"
"No," I deny. "That’s too out of character, she’d think it was some kind of a trap if she was capable of thinking. The others can go hunting and you and I can stay here …" I trail off as I try to think of some reason for leaving Rosy alone for a period of time.
"She curls up, faking sleep a lot," Steven says thoughtfully. "Maybe we can let her think we buy it, and go where she is out of sight and hearing for a while?"
"Well we had better start thinking of something that will give her enough space that she feels secure enough to make a run for it." I say hating the idea of letting her run away but knowing we have no other choice.
The scent of fear and panic permeate the air in the lounge room as it has the last few days whenever Rosy is in the same room as any of us warriors. I watch as Mitchell places her plate of food on the small end table near the chair along the wall where she sits huddled with up drawn legs. As soon a Mitchell steps back several paces Rosy snatches the plate. One arm is instantly placed as a barrier should anyone try to touch the plate; the other hand grabs the fork on the plate and she begins eating hurriedly.
I feel relief to see she is using her previously crushed wrist as freely as her other one as she mixes the gravy into her mashed potatoes. The gravy contains the mixture I am hoping will make her sleep soundly so that she is well rested for tomorrow. She catches me watching her and pulls her plate closer as she eats faster. The smell of her anxiety rises and her gaze darts around frantically. I look away from her and glance at my watch wanting to keep track of the time it should take for her to become very drowsy.
When everyone is finished eating I am worried to note Rosy is still guarding the now empty plate as she glances around almost slyly. A minute or two later she gets to her feet and I hear Sam and Dwayne move back into the hallway as she heads for the door. Her footsteps are rushed as she heads along the sunroom and then the bathroom door shuts noisily.
"Shit!" Malcolm hisses as we all jump to our feet. "She’s not going to be sick from that stuff or pass out in there will she?" he voices the concern that suddenly occurs to us all.
"Sam," I say tersely, "move to where you can hear if she were to pass out or something." I force myself to sit down once again and watch as Steven, Malcolm and Edwin slowly follow my example leaving only Mitchell standing.
Mitchell heads for the doorway and I hear Sam talking to him quietly. Dwayne comes and sits down in the lounge room and I strain to hear where Sam and Mitchell are. Time passes excruciatingly slowly and then I hear the faint click as the bathroom door opens. There is slight movement from either Sam or Mitchell and then Sam moves into sight.
"She just headed into your room," he tells me. "She was rubbing at her eyes so she might be starting to get drowsy." The minutes drag by with agonising slowness. Sam moves restlessly in his chair while Steven drums his fingers anxiously on the arm of the lounge. I hear a soft tapping and glance at Edwin to see one of his legs jumping sporadically.
"We should have just used the damn tranquilliser," Edwin hisses.
I clench my jaw as I look away. I went to lengths explaining to him why it was important not to use a drug on Rosy. It was bad enough that I’d even had to resort to a more natural remedy that would soothe her to sleep. There is a faint noise at the doorway and before I can turn my head I hear the slight scrap of booted feet shifting.
"She’s asleep," Mitchell whispers sounding very anxious, "she is curled up in the far corner of your room asleep!"
"You’re sure Rosy is asleep?" Sam asks in a whisper as he gets to his feet. He is a step ahead of me as I move swiftly from my chair and head for the doorway.
Mitchell heads back towards the bedroom glancing continuously over his shoulder with an anxious frown as he moves up the sunroom. I push past both Sam and Mitchell when they halt in the doorway of the bedroom I share with Steven; I pause just inside the room as I take in the scent in the air. Traces of fear and anxiety still remain but the scents do not rise higher with my presence or that of the toms behind me. Rosy lays huddled in the far corner, a blanket from my bed clutched in one hand and held against her chest as if for comfort.
"I’m going to put her in bed," I whisper and make sure I move silently as I approach where Rosy is in the corner looking very uncomfortable.
It is easy to scoop her up with one arm beneath her knees and the other arm behind her back. She trembles slightly and makes a faint sound, part complaint part whimper. I turn towards my bed and find Sam is already pulling the bedclothes back so that I can place her where she has been sleeping since he and his team had returned with injuries. I am relieved when she doesn’t stir as the covers are pulled up and over her. I tuck them close to her body to ensure she stays warm before turning back towards the door. All of the toms hover there and I jerk my head towards the lounge room as I reach the doorway.
Mitchell keeps stopping and glancing back towards the room with a tortured look on his face but he doesn’t say a word as he makes his way to the lounge room. I thought he would protest the plan Steven and I came up with but surprisingly he had been the easiest to convince this needed to be done. We all sit around the room in silence. Sam sits on the arm of Mitchell’s chair leaning slightly against his brother while Dwayne sits on the floor between their feet. Edwin sits in a chair and Malcolm sits awkwardly on the arm, one foot on the seat behind Edwin while the other leg lies along the length of the arm. Edwin is leaning slightly into his partner’s body. It is a long time since I have seen either of them needing comfort. Steven is on the lounge beside me, his back to me as he leans against my side while my arm is stretched out along the top of the lounge.
"Do you think Rosy will sleep all night?" Mitchell asks in a whisper.
"I made the herbs and gravy strong so hopefully she will sleep for a good stretch," Steven says and I feel the vibrations through his back as he talks.
"It’s not too late for her is it?" Mitchell agonises in a whisper. "She hasn’t started to go crazy has she?"
No one answers and Sam puts his arm across Mitchell’s shoulders. Dwayne whispers something at their feet and I realise how badly this is affecting Mitchell.
"Mitchell," I whisper and wonder why I am whispering but I don’t raise my voice any louder when he looks my way. "Why don’t you go keep Rosy company until I am ready to turn in? I’m sure she’ll sleep better with you there. Sam, Dwayne, I don’t want him alone with her in case she wakes up."
"Taking a chance, aren’t you, letting lover-boy near her while she’s out to it," Edwin taunts in a whisper.
He is up and out of the chair when I take him down in a tackle that has us both landing on the lounge before rolling off onto the floor. We struggle silently, not really trying to hurt each other despite our anger. I manage to get him onto his back and when I go to pin him down, the weight of a hard body knocks me to the side and then I hear the faint grunts of exertion as Malcolm and Steven join the fray. Finally I subdue Edwin and glare down at him. We are both breathing heavily and I turn my head to see Steven calmly sitting on Malcolm while they both watch Edwin and me. I let go of Edwin and move to flop out flat on my back beside my brother. I hear movement and Steven crawls over top of us to sit beside me. I glance at my watch but make no attempt to get up. I’ll give Mitchell time to make his peace with the fact that once he leaves my room he won’t be seeing Rosy again. I can’t risk his distress communicating itself to her in the morning before all of us toms leave to go hunting leaving her by herself. None of us want her panicking and possibly making a frantic dash for freedom.
I grit my teeth as I glance down at my phone one last time before pressing the button that will autodial Wade’s number. It has been twenty-four hours since we returned to the quarters to find Rosy gone and I dare not give her more of a head start than this. I have to trust that she has used the time well, travelling away from here at a fast pace.
"Wade speaking."
"Boss," I say formally, "we have a situation here. Rosy has disappeared. I think she has run off headed for where ever it is she used to hide out."
"Shit! Can’t you do anything right?" Wade yells angrily and I hear murmured concern in the background. I can hear the sound on his footsteps beneath his heavy breathing, the squeak of a door opening then closing and finally a low growl from him.
"Tell me what happened?" he demands tautly.
"About an hour and a half ago I sent Sam, Dwayne, Mitchell, Edwin and Malcolm off to hunt. Steven and I stayed here with Rosy. Steven was replacing the last of the copper pipe in the bathroom and Rosy was curled up in a chair asleep. I made the mistake of going to check on how Steven was getting on; I was only gone five minutes at the most. When I went to check on her she was gone. What rags were left of her clothes were in the hallway," I say flatly. "The others aren’t back from their hunt yet."
"She can’t have gotten far on that injured wrist! Change and go after her," Wade orders angrily.
"Boss, she’s been changing two and three times a day. Maybe even more we didn’t know about," I say cautiously. "If I didn’t know better she has been waiting for the slightest chance to escape as she would believe."
"And you weren’t suspicious about the amount of times she changed?" Wade’s rage makes his voice hoarse as he shouts down the phone at me.
"Her entire behaviour has been very erratic since she lost the kitts," I say through gritted teeth.
"Get after her!" Wade orders and takes a ragged breath. "I will deal with your incompetence when I get back!"
"Wade, I don’t think that is a good idea." I say with a shake of my head. I hadn’t orchestrated her freedom only to try to run her to ground and capture her.
"Get after her! She needs care and protection," Wade orders angrily.
"Wade I don’t …" I begin.
"Are you disobeying orders?" Wade demands in a suddenly even tone. I feel an unpleasant shiver run down my spine, I know that tone of voice and he only ever uses it when someone is about to get into big trouble.
"If we chase her and catch her either she is going to turn on us and someone will get hurt or …" I lose my voice for a moment as I admit to myself what I believe is the more likely outcome. "Dad, it’s a real possibility she will go to such extreme lengths to get away. She could end up killing herself."
There is silence on the other end of the phone for a few moments and then I hear a heavy sigh from Wade.
"Is that all?" he asks sounding oddly flat.
"I let her go. I planned it all, made sure she would have a chance to run before she totally lost it and lashed out at one or all of us," I admit in an even and firm tone.
"You and I are going to have a very serious meeting when I get back," Wade says sounding tired. "In fact I might leave everyone here for a few more days and come home by myself. You’ve crossed a serious line Micah. I can’t just let this go."
There is no goodbye before he hangs up and I shut the phone when the annoying buzz starts and glance at Steven where he stands nearby.
"He sounds pissed," Steven remarks.
"Well do we do our obligatory chase?" Sam asks startling me.
I glance at the hallway door where the others are having arrived back from their hunt for breakfast. I am surprised to see Mitchell behind his brother. He had taken off yesterday when they returned from a morning hunt to find Rosy gone just as we believed she would be.
"She headed north through the national park, keeping to the heavy scrub all the way. I found tufts of rabbit fur several times, so it looks like she is hunting as she travels." Mitchell’s voice is thick and I give a small nod at his information.
"Wade didn’t say to go after her," I say raising my voice slightly. "We just hope for the best for her now."