Ryan had been pretty much hating the party, after another successful team victory at their weekly game of basketball, finally having beaten the opposing team New Highs after three prior defeats, not really knowing why he was there. Of course, winning was a great thing, and it was worth celebrating, even though their traditions meant that the New Highs players were also there to celebrate - or more, drown their sorrows. But Ryan was not a party lover. He hated the usual cheerful festivities of the newly graduated seniors on the New Highs team from the city, the girly girls who never shut up or talked about anything interesting, he hated the gothic and sometimes Barbie girl songs that the warped DJ, who always seemed to be pre-booked before the game was played, chose to depress him with. And what made it worse…what really sent Ryan into the rare damaged brain, quiet loathing, verbally abusive side of himself that only came out when he had to suffer a party and had most likely been cornered by someone he truly hated…was that he was on his own. Not just because his team mates were busy having their regular celebratory drinking games in the kitchen so that they could go out into the garden to throw up, whenever that oh-so obvious event occurred. No, what he really hated about being alone, was the very fact that he was always alone.
Girlfriends were rare and didn’t last much longer than a few dates, although he’d had one or two relationships, actual relationships that reached the double digit weeks. Discarding the thought for a moment, he disappeared into the garden for his usual contemplation hour where he could escape the triviality and idleness of the party, and sank onto the sun lounger that almost always sat at the side of the shimmering blue pool, reflecting the full moon, which he noticed was surrounded by a red sky. At least there was one good thing to his night. Decent and reflective surroundings, a still peace of being away from the crowd. It was all too much to hope on. He just wished…he didn’t know why because he’d never wanted it before but, now it was something he craved more than anything…to simply have someone to share it all with. Not one of those random brainless girls he was constantly surrounded by but a real girl with real qualities…a girl who was a woman but who had the natural sweetness of a girl. That was all he wanted. What depressed Ryan the most, was that he had just turned twenty and he’d never met one girl who had even managed to keep his interest for more than a few days. There was no-one who he could instantly see himself with.
Ryan wasn’t looking for love. He didn’t believe in all the storyboard, fairytale falling in love and only being able to love one person, to really love one person for an entire lifetime. He couldn’t image that. He always got bored too easily, either by the way whoever his girlfriend was, seemed to only ever really care about how she looked or because she couldn’t hold a decent conversation about anything that wasn’t clothes or make up. He didn’t know how but he always ended up with the girls who were obsessed with money and cars, their looks and who would rather burn a book to save them from moving too far than read it. He had never found but always wanted a girl that could just lie next to him every night, talking about random but important things all night until she fell asleep, only to have him so dedicated and so captivated by her that he’d take a few quiet minutes to watch her sleep. He wanted a girl who didn’t need any effort. Someone who he didn’t have to try and impress, someone who had the same interests, likes and dislikes and who he could naturally get on with all the time. Sure he put on the fake act of being a real womaniser that girls loved to hate but eventually he knew he would have to face facts, he needed more than that. Skylar was an ideal target but her baggage had bothered him, particularly as he knelt over her, scared to touch her, worried that he’d said or done something to hurt her that had made her pass out, though he wasn’t sure how that was quite possible. Once he checked her pulse and realised it was still beating away however weak it was, he noticed her eyes were rolled back and fluttering away like crazy. He was about to get up and go for help when Joachim walked in.
“What the hell’s going on?” He asked, sounding angry, as if he’d done something but really, did everyone think he was that bad that he’d hit a girl or do something stupid enough that she passed out? He stepped back and explained everything from the moment he walked in, from kissing her to her saying it got rid of a headache then suddenly freaking him out with dropping to the floor. “Alright, go get Eliza…” He instructed, realising that the poor girl was probably suffering from another blackout, which Eliza had filled him in on not long after he had arrived at the party to see Pepper and Skylar talking happily. They had a lot in common but he didn’t want to upset Pepper after her semi-breakdown the day before, bringing back all the painful memories of her last relationship. He just couldn’t believe that two great girls, who suddenly met each other, could have gone through the same heartbreaking relationship, particularly at the same extreme that damaged them both for long after they got out of the relationship. Ryan felt a little useless being sent away instead of helping but he did as he was told and brought Eliza back only to find that Skylar was on her feet, leaning against the counter as Joachim held her glass to let her have a drink.
“Is everything alright?” Eliza asked, taking a tentative step into the room, trying not to make Skylar think that everyone knew what had happened and was going to butt into her personal life. But Joachim seemed to be taking pretty good care of her, dropping the glass back onto the counter once Skylar had thanked him for the drink, her hand still visibly shaking as she looked up at her and assured her she was feeling much better. Ryan was just surprised that she had bothered to apologise for frightening him, all he could do was say it was okay and pretend like it hadn’t scared the shit out of him.
Skylar could see that Ryan was seriously in need of some mental help when she saw him leaving the party to sit and lounge by the pool, apparently like he usually did whenever Niles threw a team party. But what kind of team mate was he if he couldn’t even have a few drinks with his friends to show his support in the fact that he wasn’t the mister-high-and-mighty leader of the team and that other people worked their ass off to help win that nights game. It hadn’t been an easy task so they deserved to celebrate. Skylar could see that, although he had been the major player in the team’s victory and had numerous girls fawning over him, Niles’s attention was elsewhere. And why was that? Because Ryan was a selfish loner who couldn’t even indulge his best friends efforts and pretend to enjoy himself, but Niles didn’t want him to pretend anything. He knew that Ryan found it hard to relate to people and had a whole set of morals and expectations that only seemed to alienate him even more. He didn’t care that he didn’t enjoy the parties or that he spent all his time secretly escaping everyone to get some peace in the garden, all that mattered was that he had made the effort to show up. That was all that Niles had ever asked of him and Ryan had been quick to agree, knowing that it might temporarily give him a break from life, although more than disappointed when he realised that it wouldn’t fix his life like he’d originally thought. Grabbing a spare bottle of beer that was lying on the counter next to him, Niles decided to pay his friend a visit and see how he was holding up. And when he saw the short dark hair only just visible from the back of the lounger, he smiled and made his way over. “Here.” He sighed, standing next to the lounger, facing forward as he handed Ryan the bottle without another word.
“Thanks.” Ryan knew what Niles was up to but didn’t much feel like making it easy for him, so with a mischievous smile he took a drink and then looked up at him curiously. “There something in this? Something that might just change the world?” He teased openly, knowing it wouldn’t be taken seriously. It was all just part of their usual banter, choosing to leave the personal stuff for someone else, who they wouldn’t risk losing as a friend because of something trivial, unless there was no other choice.
“You’re an asshole, you know that.” Niles laughed in reply, making himself comfortable as he sat down on the paving beside the lounger and took a drink of his own beer. They both sat there quietly contemplating things, the faint sound of the party breaking through the French doors leading from the kitchen for what felt like an eternity but was only a few short minutes. “So what’s the plan?” He asked suddenly. Ryan wasn’t sure if Niles was just being random with his questions or whether he actually knew that he’d just spent a good ten to fifteen minutes forming a plan for himself. “Well…parties are out, you barely get on with your brother even though he loves you to death, you don’t even notice Skylar, you’ve got no girl and one friend.” He answered with a sly smile, being as dramatic as possible to ease the blow that everything he was saying, was the heartbreaking truth. “So, what’s the plan?” He asked again.
“Honestly, I don't know.” Ryan shrugged with a deep sigh. “I was thinking of taking some time off and maybe going somewhere. I don't know where, maybe just for a break or if it works I might just stay there.” He explained honestly, all too able to see the shock on his best friend’s face as he stared at him but Ryan kept quiet and looked ahead, trying to ignore the guilt that was starting to seep in. Niles didn’t mean to make him feel guilty, he was just surprised and shocked and a little confused. They had been best friends since they were kids and now he was saying that he might just make a permanent move just because his life sucked big time. Well he wasn’t going to let him. He wasn’t being selfish, he just didn’t want to lose his best friend, especially not because of something that could be fixed. And he fully intended on spending every waking minute trying to fix this if it meant that he wouldn’t lose his best friend. They’d been through too much together, on both sides, he wasn’t about to let Ryan throw it all away because he felt like crap. Everyone felt like that at some point, he’d just have to get used to it.
Niles left Ryan to think things over after assuring him that any permanent move should be out of the question and hoped it would give him time to hatch a new plan of attack. But when he went back into the party and took a good look around, the one thing that really stuck out to him, was that Ryan was all alone in the world. His dad worked abroad most of the time and when he didn’t, he worked out of town for days at a time, his older brother Devin loved him a little too much, making him feel like a baby most of the time despite the few months that was between them. It wasn’t a big age gap but as Ryan had admitted once, it felt like a lifetime. And without a girlfriend, all he really had was himself and his best friend, who was technically Ryan’s only real friend. Obviously, he got on well with their basketball team Hysteria, but they could never really be classed as true friends who’d be there until the end. They were more the kind of guys who were good for a laugh and the life and soul of the party but not that great at much else. “Hey honey…” Niles called over to Skylar with a smile, hoping to persuade her into helping him out with Ryan. He knew that she had a bit of a soft spot for him but hoped that it was nothing more than a friendship and wouldn’t get in the way of him persuading her to go out with him. She smiled when he crossed over to her, his attention momentarily swayed from the matter at hand by her sweet smile and the way she allowed him to put his arm over her shoulders. It wasn’t the fact that she let him do it because she’d let him do it multiple times before but it was the way she snuggled up close once she was near him, laying her head against his shoulder, looking a little tired, that really caught him by surprise. But he was really confused by the way she answered his casual question of whether she was okay or not.
“I’ve got a bit of a headache. I don’t feel so well.” She sighed, sounding close to tears and he couldn’t help but hold his hand to her head and gently place a kiss on her forehead, realising that it explained just why she’d been so quiet all night. He felt a little guilty too, having asked her to the party because they had won the game, ignoring her protests that she wasn’t in the partying mood even though she‘d already told Eliza and Pepper that she would. Now he knew why she’d changed her mind.
“I’m sorry. Do you want me to walk you back?” He offered sweetly, making Skylar smile and shake her head, determined to stick it out because she knew it was something she was going to have to get used to. It seemed that every time one of her charges was in pain, emotional or physical, then she saw it all played out in front of her, making her feel dizzy and a little sick. It didn’t help that she saw what caused that pain and heard the conversations that had resulted in such things, the fact that she felt a little of the fear and pain and loneliness that they all felt when they felt it only made her want to curl up and go back home, to give up on her mission and give up on Ryan and just be alone. But she knew that was no good. “Would you help me with something then?” Stelian asked, hoping that if she was determined to stick around despite not feeling well, then he could at least help take her mind off it and cheer her up a little. She nodded her agreement instantly and before he explained, a thought came to him and he took her hand, leading up to one of the bedrooms on the second floor so they could get away from the loud music and maybe make her headache go away.
He waited until she was lying down on the bed, at his command, or rather suggestion, before he lay down next to her, staring up at the ceiling and explained. “I thought maybe you’d know someone who was available and willing to date a guy on the basketball team? Ryan’s a bit down and I thought if he had a girlfriend then he’d feel a little better.” He explained gently, wondering what it meant when she lost her smile and snuggled up close to him, laying her head on his chest with a sadness he knew only too well and before she could offer to think of someone suitable, he said what was on his mind. “You like him, don’t you?” He asked, wrapping his arm around her to let her snuggle in, even though he now knew the truth. Despite all the flirting he’d done, all the truths he’d shared, all the times he’d been her hero, had made her feel better, made her laugh, she still wanted someone else. It was just his luck.
“Niles…you’re a great guy and Ryan’s a great guy, you’re both very handsome and smart and funny…but I don’t have time to date. Anyone.” Skylar knew the truth now, she was fading in and out of who she was and who she had been and Link had no idea what was happening to her so what was the point in her dating anyone, Ryan or Niles or anyone else for that matter, when she didn’t even know what was happening to her. She didn’t want the hassle of having to explain herself when she couldn’t and she didn’t need Niles and Ryan arguing about her just because the wrong one wanted to be with her and the wrong one thought she was a bad influence.
“Not even if you love him?” Niles asked, hoping to hear her say she didn’t know how she felt about him but that she wasn’t willing to let his depressing state of late bother her or influence her in any way, but what he heard, he could only smile at sadly. She had practically admitted everything.
“Not even if he loved me.” She sighed, letting him know that she thought she loved Ryan, even though he’d only ever treated her badly but he couldn’t be mad at her. He just felt a little sad for her that she felt there was no way she could ever be with anyone, whether or not she loved them and had them love her back. It didn’t seem fair but he didn’t want to ask why she thought that in case it made her feel worse. “I’ll find someone for him. I can ask Pepper to help, she knows him better than I do.” Niles didn’t actually think she’d agree to it but she did and he felt terrible for knowing that she was with him when she wanted to be with Ryan but that she wouldn’t date either of them no matter what they did and so he left the subject there, convincing himself he didn’t care as long as he took care of his best friend. He knew that Ryan would never be so involved with anyone to ignore his friends, he just wasn’t that kind of guy. But if he could keep him occupied for a while, even just a few weeks he could convince Skylar that he was worth giving a try and get her mind off Ryan, who had already told them all that he couldn’t handle her baggage, no matter what it was. Although, thinking about their ‘relationship’, about how he’d practically told Skylar he wanted to be with her and hadn’t heard anything remotely like it back, he could see why Ryan wasn’t jumping through hoops to find a girl and fall in love. Love sucked, at least for Niles who had no idea what Skylar saw their relationship as. So he wasn’t surprised his best friend, always the most cynical and pessimistic guy in the group, had figured that love was a disappointment half the time, without ever having to experience it. The problem was that he knew Ryan never wanted to find love. He didn’t believe in it and he didn’t believe anyone who said that it was real, so finding a girl who could cope with that, it was going to be a task.
*****
Paige wished that Raya hadn’t come over and subjected herself to the detailed visual, physical examination from her male companions. She might not have liked their company, or wanted her sister to go through being near them, but she was trying so hard to keep the peace between Danny and Angelo, knowing that neither liked the other. But with his friends there to goad him, Danny might just cause more trouble than she could handle, if she were to spend time with Angelo, or even anyone that wasn’t him, so she had to stay by his side, even if she didn‘t much want to. “Hey kitty cat…” Joey smiled, using the nickname he and his friends had given Paige as she tried to put some distance between the pretty young girl and the group of raging hormones he and his friends were. “Who’s this delicious little thing?” He asked curiously as he slipped his arm around her waist pulling her closer, much to her disgust. Paige pleaded with him to leave her alone because she was her sister but Raya didn’t think that was a good enough effort, especially since it was her fault she was there in the first place. She couldn’t believe that Paige would even consider spending time with the kind of people Danny’s friends were, no matter how much she liked him. But she wasn’t going to be treated like dirt because of it. Angelo had always told her to look after herself if no-one else was going to, so taking the guy’s hand, Raya took it from around her waist, and pressed it against his chest with a frown.
“I don’t fancy being mauled right now, so keep your hands to yourself.” She complained, holding her hands behind her back so she didn’t end up punching him, but her words only made Joey smile. He asked in a slight whisper, leaning close to her, if that went for him or anyone. “Let me think about it and I’ll get back to you.” She sighed, not willing to play games when she only had a few small words to say to her sister, even though it looked like it was going to take an eternity before she could get to say them. When he maintained that Paige had competition for the feistiest woman in the room, brushing a strand of hair behind Raya’s ear, quite liking the way that she swatted his hand away instantly, as soon as it entered her personal zone, she couldn’t help but respond to his statement that she was cute with a little hostility. He asked how old she was, not bothered with admitting that he liked a girl as young as he suspected she was. “Too young for you.” Raya snapped.
“Now princess I’m only nineteen, I’m not that old. What’s your name?” He asked, intrigued by her now that he could see just how feisty she was, regardless of her age. She was fun. He hadn’t had a great conversation with a girl in a while, and it was nice to see that the girls a few years younger than him, weren’t failing or lacking in any way when it came to the intellectual department.
“Candy. And you?” She lied sweetly.
“Joey.” He answered with a smile, the only one near by that wasn’t laughing at her decision to argue with him. But it was kind of hot and he could definitely see himself getting used to having her around, and having her argue with him that way all the time.
“Oh, so you don’t have a last name either? Good for you.” She sighed, placing a strand of hair behind her ear as she glanced back at Angelo and then at Paige. “Look, I just came over to tell you that you’re on in ten, probably five now that we’ve got the witty repartee out the way. But don’t think for a minute I came over for intelligent conversation…I doubt it exists.” She complained, turning to walk away when Joey gently gripped her wrist and stopped her as his friends went back to their conversation. “What now?” She protested in a soft groan, glancing back at her captor.
“It’s Parker…Joey Parker.” He whispered in her ear, kissing her cheek softly. “I like you princess…you’re not like other girls, and it’s kind of nice. I’d like to get to know you better if you could spare some time for me.” He mentioned teasingly, letting go of her wrist as he watched her frowning up at him in confusion, probably not understanding why he’d even want to spend time with her when all she thought he’d been doing was having a laugh. But it was true. He liked her. “I’ll be here all night if you change your mind.” He promised, watching her walk away with a smile, hoping that she would indeed change her mind and let him at least talk to her some more.