How? How come I am here? When did this all start? I ponder as I lie on the sofa, the night before the Nikkah.
This all started the night I saw the green eyes in my dream. I met Azar the next day in the cafeteria, unaware of how he was to be another man to destroy me. Angel... how unusual it was that the two called me angel.
I stare at the ceiling, and my heart feels heavy as if it is too tired to beat, my breathing uneven.
I can never forget the day I escaped him; never. I remember every detail, how the floor was slippery due to blood. How my shoes squeaked as I ran across the hallway. How my vision kept blurring, but I didn't stop. How I could hear his footsteps, loud and quick, nearing me as he shouted for me. "Angel! My angel! Abeer!"
I close my eyes, and my heart starts pounding as the memories come to me uninvited. I push them away and fight back even though I feel weak. "Allah..." I say, my voice shaking.
Think about something else, Abeer. Azar's face flashes in my mind. I can't forget his questioning eyes when he said please as he offered me the rose.
How can someone be so good at acting? Maybe he is confused himself. Maybe he is rude towards me only and no one else. Maybe he has a bad intuition about me, and that's why he hates me so much. Why is he ruining his own life by marrying me? Why is he doing this to himself? What is he gaining from his Nikkah?
Abeer, some people are just plain cruel and arrogant. They don't need a reason to hate. They don't need a reason to justify their actions. It's just who they are.
"Run away as far as you can, angel. I'll be waiting there," I hear his harsh, mocking voice.
When will I be free?
"Never..." He is standing in the darkest corner of the room, moonlight from the window reflecting on his knife's blade. "I'm here all the time, and I will be..." Beads of sweat appear on my forehead, and my voice gets caught up in my throat. I can't take my eyes off him. Allah... "...till death do us part."
He comes closer and raises his knife. "You are terrible at hide and seek, angel."
Maliha's alarm for Fajr goes off, but he stays. He turns to look at Maliha, and she looks at me. "Abeer, you are still awake?"
"She can't see me, angel," he laughs, throwing his head back. "No one can. No one is watching."
"Abeer...?" Maliha calls out, but I don't move. I can't look away from him as he continues laughing like a maniac.
Maliha gets out of bed and checks my forehead, and I flinch away. "Oh my Allah! Abeer, you are burning." I don't know how I manage to get up, but as soon as I am on my feet, I hug Maliha tightly and shut my eyes. "Abeer, are you okay? Did something happen?"
I don't reply, but I pull away. He is gone, but not for long. Maliha goes and switches on the light. "You need to take some medicine. I'll ask Mom."
"Maliha, I'm fine," my voice barely comes out. "I'm just tired. Don't worry, I'll ask Mom myself."
"Okay, if you say so."
I head outside, and I'm glad to see everyone awake. I say my Salaams to Aunty Yasmin and Aunty Sajdah and head to Mom's room. I knock and enter, and I see Mom folding the prayer mat and keeping it away.
"Assalamualikum, Abeer, how are you?" She asks, excitement throbbing in her voice.
"Walaikumusalam. Mom, uh, I think I have a fever. Can I have a thermometer?" I ask her as casually as possible.
"My Allah," she exclaims and checks my forehead. "You definitely have a fever," she says anxiously, and then takes out the thermometer from the drawer.
The thermometer confirms our suspicions. Maybe this also explains why I was having so detailed hallucinations. Mom gives me some meds and is worried sick. I assure her and also make her promise not to tell anyone since I don't want everyone to worry unnecessarily.
I go and pray Fajr, shower, and then have breakfast with Mom, Aunty Sajdah, Aunty Yasmin, and Jana. Sana and Hooriya are sleeping, and Zaina is feeding Sami.
"Abeer, you have dark circles. You didn't sleep well last night?" Jana asks, furrowing her brows in tension.
"I'm fine, don't worry," I dismiss with a convincing smile.
Maliha joins us a few minutes later. "When are we going to the parlor again?"
"After Dhur, at two," Mom replies. "Ma Sha Allah, Maliha, your Mehndi darkened even more!" She smiles back at her, mumbling a yes.
"Abeer, show yours too. I didn't look properly," Aunty Yasmin says, taking my hands. "Beautiful. Both are going to be the best and the prettiest brides In Sha Allah."
The telephone rings, and I go and answer it. "Hello?"
"Assalamualikum. I'm Noor, Abeer."
"Oh, Walaikumusalam, Mrs. Noor," I reply, a little taken aback that she recognized my voice on the phone.
"How are you? Did you have a good sleep?" She asks but continues. "A bride should always be fresh on her wedding day. I remember the night before my wedding. The wedding jitters gave me a hard time sleeping. It is good you picked up the phone. I actually wanted to talk to you and Maliha."
"Yes, is everything okay?" I ask, going into a slight panic mode.
"Everything is fine," she reassures me calmly. "I have had this talk with Eshaal too. I wanted to let you two know that you can move out whenever you want to."
The thought of moving out gives me goosebumps. No, just a big fat no. How will I live alone with Azar? "It is okay, Mrs. Noor. I really don't want to move out."
"What a coincidence! Azar was arguing about this too, yesterday," she teases. "Telepath, huh...?" I guess Azar can't bear my presence either. "Hussain and I have given you some time --three months to be precise. Ahmed is okay either way —he has always been my chill son— but Azar is still a bit immature. He wants to stay with his parents. What kind of a son wants that nowadays?"
"Mrs. Noor, I'm saying this wholeheartedly, I don't want to—" I'm interrupted by Maliha.
"Who is it?" Maliha inquires.
"Mrs. Noor," I mouth to her, and she widens her eyes.
"Abeer...?" Mrs. Noor calls out.
"Yes, I'm here, Mrs. Noor," I say, growing slightly pink.
"Abeer, if you don't mind can you call me, Aunty or Mom or even Mama? Mrs. Noor is too formal," she complains playfully.
"Yeah, sure," I agree.
"Now, can I talk to Maliha? I want to discuss this with her too. I'm sorry if I told you this too late," she adds, and I feel guilty and astounded at the same time. How can Mrs. Noor be Azar's mother? How can they even be related? Is Azar adopted or something? She is the kindest person I have ever met!
"You don't need to apologize. It is really okay," I tell her. "Wait, Maliha is here with me. I'll hand her the phone."
"In Sha Allah, we will meet today," she exclaims, ecstatic.
"In Sha Allah," I repeat after her. I give the phone to Maliha as I say, "Mrs. Noor wants to talk to you."
After some time, Maliha hangs up, and she looks at me, grinning ear to ear. "Aunty Noor is so cool. I love her. I mean, isn't she the best mother-in-law? She wants us to move out after the Nikkah. I am fine with both ways, but this is very astonishing. Don't you think?"
"Yeah," I agree. It seems as if Maliha has completely forgotten our fight, or maybe she forgot she was pretending. "Maliha, have you seen Pops?"
"Yeah, he is in his study," she informs me.
I go to the study and knock. "Come in!"
I do so, and he glances up from his file and does a double take. "Oh, Abeer!" He looks surprised.
"Am I disturbing?" I ask, hesitant to enter further.
"No, not all come in," he beckons and keeps away his file. "So why has my Abeer given her Pops this lovely visit?"
"Pops, I wanted to thank you," I begin, my voice trembling a little. "Thank you for everything you have done for me. Even when I am not your—"
"Abeer, don't say that," he cuts in. "I love you as much as I love Maliha. You both are very dear to my heart." He pauses, and to my embarrassment, I see tears glimmering in his eyes. "Now, don't make the big man emotional," he sniffs. "Anything else you need? You look a little sick."
"No, thanks," I politely deny and am about to leave but stop midway. "Pops, did you ever talk to them?" He instantly understands who I am talking about— my real parents. "Did you ever talk to them again after I came here?"
"No, Abeer," he responds, his voice sad. "I'm sorry."
"It wasn't your fault," I appease, my voice cracking in the middle. "You don't have to be sorry. I just... I just wish they were here." I swallow the lump in my throat.
"I do too."
At that moment, Uncle Kamal comes in so I leave the room. In no time, all the women are going to the beauty parlor. Maliha and I get a separate room. I wear my dress but am not able to see how I look as the makeup artist wants me to see myself only after I'm completely ready.
"Ma Sha Allah!" She says in a heavy Arabic accent. "Very pretty, but you don't look fresh. Don't sleep? No problem. I do very good make-up."
I recline on the seat, and she starts doing her job. She puts on some creams and then a facial mask for some time, and after the facial is over, she applies make-up. After an hour or so, it is done, and she curls my hair and styles it. When the hair is done, I wear the jewelry Mrs. Noor had bought me.
When I'm completely ready, the lady removes the curtain from the mirror, and I let out a small gasp.
I look wonderful. I don't look like myself at all. No one could look at me and tell what I have been through. No one can tell that I have a fever or haven't slept for days. Azar got what he wanted. He wanted me to look the best on my doom day, and I am. I can't look better. Suddenly, I feel the urge to rub my face and waste her entire hard work. I feel like looking like a zombie again.
Abeer, control...
"Thank you. You did a great job," I praise her.
"You are most welcome," she replies proudly.
I leave the room to show Mom and the others standing outside. "Ma Sha Allah! May Allah save you from evil eyes," Mom duas aloud, with her hands on her chest.
"Ameen," I mutter. "You all look so pretty yourselves."
"Oh my God!" Jana and Sana shriek as they enter.
"You look so beautiful. Ma Sha Allah!" Jana chimes, being super-hyper.
"Azar Bhai is going to faint for sure," Sana reckons, clasping her hand with a wide smile.
He won't faint for sure, being as stuck-up as he is, I almost say.
Maliha comes out of her room and everyone at once starts complimenting her too. She smiles at me and remarks, "Abeer, you look so good."
"You too, Ma Sha Allah," I reply. I hope she is not feeling insecure. I hope she is truly happy.
When the men come to pick us up from the parlor, all of them are dressed in tuxedos and look very neat. We drive to the wedding hall. My heart is racing. What am I doing? What is happening? Allah... I trust You. Please, help me. I am so scared, Allah.
"Allahumak-fineehim bimaa shi'ta. O Allah, suffice me against them however You wish."
Soon after we reach, Azar's family reaches too. The same mehndi hall is now decorated with matt violet and golden, glittering drapes, with a chandelier hung from the center of the ceiling. The stage is decorated more lavishly with assorted flowers surrounding the seating. Maliha and I are taken to the room backstage while the others are outside to welcome the arriving guests. "It will be okay, Abeer, In Sha Allah," Maliha whispers, and I don't know who she is assuring, me or herself.
Maliha's best friends arrive soon, and she gets busy leaving me alone. It is then that Hooriya comes in with Bilal. "Look, Bilal, Ana is looking so pretty like a fairy," she claims, and Bilal smiles at me shyly.
I ruffle his hair and say, "How are you, little fellow? You look so handsome Ma Sha Allah."
"I'm good," he answers.
They hang out with me for a while, and then the maulvi sahib arrives. Maliha and I are taken to the hall, separated by a curtain.
The ceremony begins and the maulvi sahib says, "Auzubillahi minishaitaan rajeem. Bismillah hir Rahman nir raheem. All praise is for Allah, the Lord of Mankind."
"Do you, Maliha Irfan, daughter of Mohammad Irfan, agree to give yourself in the Nikkah to Ahmed Hussain, son of Hussain Walid, on the agreed Maher?" Everyone is silent.
"I agree," she says.
He repeats twice, and she says she accepts twice. The court paper is given, and Maliha signs.
"Ahmed Hussain, son of Hussain Walid, do you accept the hand, of Maliha Irfan, daughter of Mohammad Irfan, in Nikkah on the agreed Maher?"
"I accept," he says.
The maulvi asks him twice, and he says he accepts. He signs on the papers, and the maulvi says, "By the will of Allah, you are now husband and wife."
Women start congratulating Maliha and men start congratulating Ahmed. Soon everyone falls silent for the next Nikkah to be performed. Azar's and my Nikkah.
"Do you, Abeer Irfan, daughter of Syed Irfan, accept to give yourself in the Nikkah to Azar Hussain, son of Hussain Walid, on the agreed Maher?"
I can hear my heartbeat. Bismillah. "I accept," I say, the words heavy on my tongue.
The maulvi sahib repeats, "Do you, Abeer Irfan, daughter of Syed Irfan, accept to give yourself in the Nikkah to Azar Hussain, son of Hussain Walid, on the agreed Maher?"
I close my eyes. "I accept." I accept your hatred, Azar. I accept what you bring to me.
The maulvi sahib repeats the third time, "Do you, Abeer Irfan, daughter of Syed Irfan, accept to give yourself in the Nikkah to Azar Hussain, son of Hussain Walid, on the agreed Maher?"
Everyone is waiting. This is it. I take in a deep breath and say, "I accept." I sign the papers. Allah, can I be any more lost?
"Azar Hussain, son of Hussain Walid, do you accept the hand, of Abeer Irfan, daughter of Syed Irfan, in Nikkah on the agreed Maher?"
"I accept," Azar's voice is clear and loud.
"Azar Hussain, son of Hussain Walid, do you accept the hand, of Abeer Irfan, daughter of Syed Irfan, in Nikkah on the agreed Maher?" The maulvi repeats.
"I accept."
"Azar Hussain, son of Hussain Walid, do you accept the hand, of Abeer Irfan, daughter of Syed Irfan, in Nikkah on the agreed Maher?" The maulvi repeats.
Azar pauses for a second, and I hear the sound of scribbling; he is signing the paper. I forget to breathe. "I accept."
"Bythe will of Allah, you are now husband and wife."
______________________________________________
Assalamualikum everyone!
How are you doing?
Finally! Azar and Abeer are now married! Yay! This was a really hard chapter to write. And to worsen everything, I had a writer's block. I hope you all enjoyed. It was intense, wasn't it?
Don't forget to vote the one of the most awaited chapter of the book!
This is what I would like to know in the comments:
1) Have you forgiven Maliha? What do you think? Is she fine with Abeer now or no?
2) Abeer's nightmare got worse, do you think she will have an attack on the wedding night too?
3) Who found the conversation with Pops heartbreaking? I felt a little emotional while writing that part.
4) So did I do justice to the Nikkah scene? My own heart was racing. 😅😆
5) Mrs. Noor is very nice and kind isn't she? The irony.
6) Do you want Azar to faint when he sees Abeer? 😆 Don't worry I won't do that, but do you think his hateful side will tone down a bit today? ;)
7) Favorite scene besides the Nikkah :)
8) Favorite line besides the Nikkah lines :)
9) How was the chapter overall? Ask my sister SweetAmal if you don't believe me. I have been writing since the morning and have not studied at all today.
DO YOU KNOW TRUST ME REACHED #10 IN SPIRITUAL YESTERDAY?!?!? ALHAMDULILLAH. THANK YOU FOR BRINGING IT TO #10. COMMENT LOADS VOTE LOADS MAKE IT GO TO #1 NICE PRETTY READERS! In Sha Allah.
Jazakallah Khairun for reading. ❤️❤️❤️ Stay tuned. Stay blessed Ameen.