Trust Me (An Islamic Love Story)

Chapter 34

I call Mom later that day in the evening. After a few bells, she answers, "Assalamualikum warahmatullahi wabarakatahu."

"Walaikumusalam warahmatullahi wabarakatahu," I reply.

"At last, you called," she exaggerates. "Azar and your family's love is enough, I guess, for you now."

The irony of the words hits me. Pfft, Azar's love... Even though I know Mom is oblivious, I still feel she is taunting me. I would have been better off without Azar, alone, single, sad, but unbothered.

"Hello, Abeer?"

"Oh sorry, Mom," I reply in embarrassment.

"Nah, I know how new couples are, daydreaming," she teases further.

"Mom!"

"Okay, okay, I'll stop," she chuckles. "So, how are you doing?"

"I'm fine Alhamdulillah. How are you?" I say the revised line, worried slightly about how easily I lie.

"I'm good too, Alhamdulillah," she responds. "I hope the nightmares are better?" She sounds afraid of offending me.

"Hmm yes." I haven't slept since the first nightmare on the wedding night. "I miss you two. Can I come home for a while?"

"Abeer! Spend some time with your husband and your family," she chides.

"Hey, you are my family too!" I protest. "And don't you miss me?"

"Of course, I miss you," she exclaims. "It doesn't look nice, and besides it's only been one week. We also met at the airport."

"Yeah, I guess so," I resign to her.

We chat for a few minutes, and then it is Maghrib time, so we both hang up. After praying, I sit down on the bed, lost in my thoughts. I try to imagine how I would have been if he wasn't there as a part of my life, but it is impossible. I take my medicines, ignoring the ache in my arm that persists. Maybe it's because, after so many years, I got a cut.

I hope it doesn't leave a scar.

Azar scarred me. The thought crosses my mind, but I try to push it away. He didn't do it on purpose, a voice inside me defends him. He said I hurt myself while fainting.

My mind goes to how I called him Iyaas by mistake when he had renewed by the bandage. How could I? How could I even compare Azar with him? Iyaas and Azar are totally different. It was the first time that Azar reminded me of Iyaas instead of... Raheesh.

Almost as if I summoned him by thinking of his name, I can see him standing in the corner of the room, smiling, his gold tooth shining. "I miss you so much... so I am here..."

I shut my eyes, but I still hear him. "How could you think I am gone, angel? I am with you when you are in crowds. I am with you when you are alone... You are the soul to my body... You are my passion... You are my piece of art..."

Allah. Help.

"No one can help you, Abeer, because you don't need help when I'm there... for you... with you... forever."

I'm unable to move. I feel the pain in my arm more demanding. Tears slip from my eyes.

He is here.

I hear the door behind me open slightly, and my body turns rigid.

"Abeer?" I hear Azar's voice, and my eyes fly open. I brush away the tears and get up with a jolt, but the pain makes me stumble back.

Azar approaches me, but I stop him by saying, "I'm okay. I don't need your help." I don't need you. I feel like saying it, but I bite the inside of my cheeks to not say it.